Anxiety

[Pearl]

Have a neighbor lady who is in her later 80's and has had a struggle with anxiety since her 30's. She takes a non-narcartic anxiety med (buspurone) daily and I always know when she decides not to take it. Her only daughter is distant so she relies on friends. She frequents the doctors who tell her to take her med. Is there any convincing her to do so? I think she is looking for attention from her daughter, that will never happen! Any ideas what I can do? Known her at least 10yrs, wish she can be happy!

 

[Amish Heart]

I think it would be exhausting taking that med. It messes with your seratonine levels. Even children taking ritalin have to have a break off of it for awhile. Docs are always going to tell you to take your meds. And if they are not helping, another one is added on to boost the first ones effects. I personally really dislike all of these anti anxiety meds because they seem to only drug a person up and are not intended to ever go off of them, so you are a medicated, doped up slave to big pharm your entire life. It is commonplace to prescribe seniors these drugs nowadays. They are at a higher risk of stroke taking them, but it sure shuts them up in senior care living. You would be shocked to see how often gabapentin is prescribed to seniors on a constant basis. Talk about not feeling anything.
Maybe she is on and off her meds so she gives herself a chance to feel something. It's not fun feeling extremely anxious all the time, but it is a feeling. I would just let her be on those days. Let her know you're there for her, a cup of tea, but it sounds like this is what she chooses.

 

[Cascadian]

I was on anxiety meds a few years back. I stopped after a year. I moved 800 miles to a new job with no family or friends. My wife had stay back for that first year. Until then I never understood anxiety or how someone could let it get the better of them. I feel for anyone who really needs to take a pill to get through their day. I don't have any good advice unfortunately. Just be there when she reaches out I guess.

 

[Morgan101]

Has she ever seen a psychologist? I know how hard it can be to find a good one, but maybe counseling, and talking to someone who understands might help. It became a full time job for my wife to find the right medical attention for our son. He is seeing someone now who he likes, and he says it helps. Maybe counseling can help.

 

[Pearl]

She did see a psychologist she really liked until the lady suggested she is suffering with anxiety, then she quit. This has been a struggle of her's for so long. The med she has is a very mild non-narchotic, and she is a happy, go getter when taking it. Off it she holes up and worries about everything. I listen and try to be a friend, I guess that's all I can do! I just hate to see her when she is distraught and worrying.

 

[Morgan101]

Just as an outsider from what you have said it sounds like she is getting the correct medical advice, and the medication works. Does she have issues with side affects? We fought that battle for years. My son said it was better to have the disease than to have to live with the side affects. That is why he stopped taking them. We were fortunate to find the right ones, and we have been stable for a long time.

It is quite common for people with mental health issues to think that when they are feeling better they no longer need their medication. In point of fact, the reason they feel better is because they are taking medication. Maybe you can delicately point out to her that you can tell when she isn't taking her meds, You can see a difference. It is a tough call, and you are a dear friend to care for her the way you do. Good Luck. We will keep you in our prayers.

 

[Newbri]

It is quite common for people with mental health issues to think that when they are feeling better they no longer need their medication. In point of fact, the reason they feel better is because they are taking medication.

I agree with this. I actually mostly agree with Amish Heart, but I can see when meds do help. Case in point, a cousin of mine hadn't been taking his meds (for his heart) for 2 years because he was "feeling fine". Just a couple of weeks ago, he had a stroke. Not that bad of a stroke but enough that his doctor scolded him severely for not taking his meds.

I digress.

Is there anything you know outside of the meds that relaxes her? Maybe encouraging her to do those things, especially on those days?

 

[SheepDog]

Get her into a hobby that she can enjoy! Personal control and pride in yourself as well as what you build is the best route out of depression and anxiety. Getting someone to start is the hard part.

 

[Pearl]

Just as an outsider from what you have said it sounds like she is getting the correct medical advice, and the medication works. Does she have issues with side affects? We fought that battle for years. My son said it was better to have the disease than to have to live with the side affects. That is why he stopped taking them. We were fortunate to find the right ones, and we have been stable for a long time.

It is quite common for people with mental health issues to think that when they are feeling better they no longer need their medication. In point of fact, the reason they feel better is because they are taking medication. Maybe you can delicately point out to her that you can tell when she isn't taking her meds, You can see a difference. It is a tough call, and you are a dear friend to care for her the way you do. Good Luck. We will keep you in our prayers.

Your second paragraph nailed it, she feels better and stops taking it. She gets upset if me or her other friends point this out. Prayers are the best medicine