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COVID-19: finding HUMOR in dark corners

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Grizzleyette___Adams

Hermit on the mountain
Neighbor
Joined
Feb 1, 2018
Messages
714
Reposted from another forum:

cdevidal posted:

So, yeah. Medical professionals are now picking up masks from auto parts stores

This is an excerpt from a reddit post :

"I found 10 masks at a WestBay Autoparts store locally and took them to my coworkers today."

https://www.reddit.com/r/China_Flu/comments/fcxx78
Justme11 replied:

Maybe they will start getting all their stuff at the parts store? :)

OK, ready for heart bypass surgery.
Give me the Gumout and a shop towel to prep the skin.
Xacto blade.
Needle nose
small vice grips.
Prybar.
Hose clamp and nut driver.
MORE SHOP TOWELS!
MEDIUM VICE GRIPS!
WE'RE LOSING HIM!

1 AMP OF BARR'S RADIATOR LEAK STOP STAT!

OK, that got it stopped.
windshield wiper hose and 3-0 silk.
mechanic's lock wire to close.
Duct tape,
a little more Gumout.

Aah, another successful bypass. :)
 
Last edited:

Grizzleyette___Adams

Hermit on the mountain
Neighbor
Joined
Feb 1, 2018
Messages
714
A little humor for the day...

NEIL DIAMOND: touching hands
CDC: no don’t touch hands
NEIL DIAMOND: reaching out
CDC: please avoid that
NEIL DIAMOND: TOUCHING YOU-
CDC: everyone is Boston is doomed

STING: Don't stand
Don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
CDC: Now you're talkin
STING: Every breath you take, every move you make...
CDC: Yes, we will be watching you.

Proclaimers:
But I would walk 500 miles
and I would walk 500 more
just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
to fall down at your door
CDC: Please quarantine in place

MC Hammer: You can't touch this
CDC: Not without proper sterilization and washing hands

JIM MORRISON: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON NOW TOUCH ME, BABY!
CDC: That is not advised.
JIM MORRISON: CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I AM NOT AFRAID?
CDC: Immaterial.

Phil Collins: She seems to have an invisible touch
CDC: get her into quarantine immediately!

Pink Floyd: HEY YOU
CDC: now what
Pink Floyd: out there on your own
CDC: ok, self quarantined, not so bad

Pink Floyd: sitting naked by the phone WOULD YOU TOUCH ME
CDC: @$%&^
EXILE: I want to kiss you all over
CDC: Absolutely not.

EXILE: and over again.
CDC: $%%&&^ %$$#@$%^

Alanis: Cause I got one hand in my pocket.
CDC: Make sure it's sanitized.
Alanis: And the other one is giving a high five.
CDC: That's it. I quit!

MILEY: It's a Party in the USA!
CDC: You really should avoid large gatherings.
MILEY: My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick!
CDC: See! What did I tell you?

Bon Jovi: Your love is like bad medicine.
CDC: We're actually still trying to find the cure.
Bon Jovi: Bad medicine is what I need.
CDC: It most certainly is not.

BEATLES: Yeah you, got that something, I think you'll understand
CDC: It's Covid-19
BEATLES: I wanna hold your hand
CDC: Not advisable
BEATLES: I wanna hold your hand
CDC: Noooo

Eddie Money: Take me home tonight!
CDC: NO!

Foreigner: I’M HOT-BLOODED! Check it and see.
CDC: Well, yes, we do advise constant monitoring of body temperature.
Foreigner: I’VE GOT A FEVER OF A HUNDRED AND THREE!
CDC: Why are you still singing? Can we get an ambulance here? Right away?

Robert Palmer: Doctor, doctor, give me the news. I've got.a bad case
CDC: Oh no...
Palmer: Of loving you
CDC: *sigh of relief*

Nine Inch Nails: (Closer)
CDC: 😳

(copied from a friend who copied from a friend who copied from... Twitter, I think? 😛)
 
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