Gee, you took " if you are going to do something do it right" a little too far!Didn't even break a bone until I was 21 or since.....but it was a doozy:
Dumb things I did as a kid!
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I could post this in Jokes and Humor, but this seemed like a more appropriate place, and the right time.
A young country boy was out with friends one night, and the fun thing to do was to run around knocking over outhouses. They were having a great time knocking over every outhouse they could find.
The next morning at the breakfast table the boy's father asked him "Were you and your friends knocking over outhouses last night?" The boy knew he was caught dead to rights, so he asked his Father "Is it true when George Washington's father asked him about chopping down the cherry tree, and he told the truth he didn't get in trouble?" The boy's father said, "Yes, that is true." So the boy admitted "Yes, we were knocking over out houses last night."
So the father took him out behind the woodshed, and tanned his hide. Really let him have it. When he was finished the boy tearfully said "I thought George Washington didn't get in trouble?" The father said "George Washington's father wasn't sitting in the cherry tree when he chopped it down."
A young country boy was out with friends one night, and the fun thing to do was to run around knocking over outhouses. They were having a great time knocking over every outhouse they could find.
The next morning at the breakfast table the boy's father asked him "Were you and your friends knocking over outhouses last night?" The boy knew he was caught dead to rights, so he asked his Father "Is it true when George Washington's father asked him about chopping down the cherry tree, and he told the truth he didn't get in trouble?" The boy's father said, "Yes, that is true." So the boy admitted "Yes, we were knocking over out houses last night."
So the father took him out behind the woodshed, and tanned his hide. Really let him have it. When he was finished the boy tearfully said "I thought George Washington didn't get in trouble?" The father said "George Washington's father wasn't sitting in the cherry tree when he chopped it down."
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When I was 5 my parents had the front porch enclosed, re-roofed, and remodeled into an office. The carpenters had gone home for the day but left the ladder standing on the side of the house. Pops told me, "I don't want to see your little butt going up that ladder!". So when I got done eating I said I wanted to go outside and play. I knew Pops hadn't had dessert yet so I'd have a little time before he left the table...
Up the ladder I went. I never stopped to consider that Pops would be able to hear my little feet running around on the bare roof up there. But know this - from the roof, I very clearly heard his chair scoot back from the dining room table! I hit that ladder as fast as I could go. It didn't matter. I was at a full sprint as soon as I hit the ground but he caught me about a hundred feet from the house. That was probably the worst whomping I ever got as a kid...
Up the ladder I went. I never stopped to consider that Pops would be able to hear my little feet running around on the bare roof up there. But know this - from the roof, I very clearly heard his chair scoot back from the dining room table! I hit that ladder as fast as I could go. It didn't matter. I was at a full sprint as soon as I hit the ground but he caught me about a hundred feet from the house. That was probably the worst whomping I ever got as a kid...
Teenage dumb story:
I graduated from HS in 1991. My buddies and I all had old junky cars - big ol' 1970s boats like Chevy Caprices or Ford LTDs. Of course those things were indestructible. I had a '78 Malibu. Anyway, being kids, we thought we needed to test out the strength of the bumpers on those cars. It became a game to put two cars nose to tail. The front car would be in neutral and the rear car would push. We would drive all around town that way and see how long we could keep the cars from separating. Two cars became three and sometimes four in a row.
After a few days that wasn't too much fun any more so the game evolved. We would drive around and try to find our buddies still at stop signs, and then roll up and tap them with our front bumper. This was great fun because the unsuspecting guy in front would crap his pants when he got hit. One day after school I was riding with my buddy Ryan and we spied Steve up ahead waiting on traffic at the stop sign on Main street. So Ryan gunned it. Steve saw him coming and though he would outsmart Ryan. He hit the throttle to go but then realized he couldn't make it across the street without getting hit by cross traffic so he slammed on the brakes. That '75 Malibu nosedived and the rear bumper went up in the air. Then Ryan's bumper went right underneath it. It smashed in the grille. On those old cars the bumpers had little lips on the top and bottom. When the dust settled, the lip on the bottom of Steve's bumper had managed to slide over the top of Ryan's bumper, effectively locking the two cars together - right on Main Street at 3:30 in the afternoon. We tried and tried but couldn't get those cars apart, meanwhile the whole town was driving by. We eventually got them unstuck, I stood on the hood of Ryan's car and rocked it up and down while Steve drove forward and Ryan backed up...
So many people saw that one that we couldn't hide it from our folks. It was the last time we played bumper cars...
I graduated from HS in 1991. My buddies and I all had old junky cars - big ol' 1970s boats like Chevy Caprices or Ford LTDs. Of course those things were indestructible. I had a '78 Malibu. Anyway, being kids, we thought we needed to test out the strength of the bumpers on those cars. It became a game to put two cars nose to tail. The front car would be in neutral and the rear car would push. We would drive all around town that way and see how long we could keep the cars from separating. Two cars became three and sometimes four in a row.
After a few days that wasn't too much fun any more so the game evolved. We would drive around and try to find our buddies still at stop signs, and then roll up and tap them with our front bumper. This was great fun because the unsuspecting guy in front would crap his pants when he got hit. One day after school I was riding with my buddy Ryan and we spied Steve up ahead waiting on traffic at the stop sign on Main street. So Ryan gunned it. Steve saw him coming and though he would outsmart Ryan. He hit the throttle to go but then realized he couldn't make it across the street without getting hit by cross traffic so he slammed on the brakes. That '75 Malibu nosedived and the rear bumper went up in the air. Then Ryan's bumper went right underneath it. It smashed in the grille. On those old cars the bumpers had little lips on the top and bottom. When the dust settled, the lip on the bottom of Steve's bumper had managed to slide over the top of Ryan's bumper, effectively locking the two cars together - right on Main Street at 3:30 in the afternoon. We tried and tried but couldn't get those cars apart, meanwhile the whole town was driving by. We eventually got them unstuck, I stood on the hood of Ryan's car and rocked it up and down while Steve drove forward and Ryan backed up...
So many people saw that one that we couldn't hide it from our folks. It was the last time we played bumper cars...
Those old cars were made the right way
When I was about 4 I painted the bathroom faucet with my sister's new nail polish. She's 10 years older then I am and mom did not want her wearing nail polish. Got us both in trouble.
When a friend and I were 18 we MANY TIMES would take her mom's front wheel drive car out to a bar we liked. Did this in the winter, icy or snowy we always made it home in that car. And it looked like a "mom" car not a "kids out drinking and driving" car! We never got caught
! Yep, I grew up in the north, and when I was 18 so was the legal drinking age!
! Yep, I grew up in the north, and when I was 18 so was the legal drinking age!
I was a good girl.
Lolz, where do I Start... Hmm.. 
Well.. Could recount about all the injuries sustained playing "Stuntman" (though, amazingly, nary a Single broken bone 
..or Giving injuries playing 'Dirt-clod Wars' (with Rocks embedded in them 
..Or, trying to play 'Beat the Car', by chucking rocks across a busy street, and seeing who could a) get the 'timing' right and b) Get back to 'cover' in time, if Not.. (!!)
..OR, maybe that time when we discovered Why playing 'chicken with Jarts' (those huge 'lawn darts', popular in the mid / late 70s, that ended up Banned, iirc..) was probably, yah - a 'Bad idea'..
..Or making a 'dummy of myself, in Bed', and sneaking out at 1am to go to the 'barranca' (local flood-wash), when the Folks were away on their Anniversary, and left an older - Wise-to-kids-shennanigans - couple 'in charge'...
..But, maybe since 'a picture is worth a Thousand Words', I'll just 'sum up' by sharing when I learned 'How Not to attempt to DIY your bike into a "chopper"...
(..but you should'a seen the Curb..
..Yeah, that was 2-3 months of 'seeing red' (miraculously, I didn't Break my orbit, but besides the Massive 'plum' I gave myself, there, Once it finally 'opened', I still had blood in my eye for awhile..) I mean - sure, you Could-maybe classify it as an "accident", but.. Truth be told, it falls more into the category of 'AcciDerp'..
I could go on for... Some-time. but, God I cherish those days.
jd
Well.. Could recount about all the injuries sustained playing "Stuntman" (though, amazingly, nary a Single broken bone ..or Giving injuries playing 'Dirt-clod Wars' (with Rocks embedded in them ..Or, trying to play 'Beat the Car', by chucking rocks across a busy street, and seeing who could a) get the 'timing' right and b) Get back to 'cover' in time, if Not.. (!!)
..OR, maybe that time when we discovered Why playing 'chicken with Jarts' (those huge 'lawn darts', popular in the mid / late 70s, that ended up Banned, iirc..) was probably, yah - a 'Bad idea'..
..Or making a 'dummy of myself, in Bed', and sneaking out at 1am to go to the 'barranca' (local flood-wash), when the Folks were away on their Anniversary, and left an older - Wise-to-kids-shennanigans - couple 'in charge'...
..But, maybe since 'a picture is worth a Thousand Words', I'll just 'sum up' by sharing when I learned 'How Not to attempt to DIY your bike into a "chopper"...
..Yeah, that was 2-3 months of 'seeing red' (miraculously, I didn't Break my orbit, but besides the Massive 'plum' I gave myself, there, Once it finally 'opened', I still had blood in my eye for awhile..) I mean - sure, you Could-maybe classify it as an "accident", but.. Truth be told, it falls more into the category of 'AcciDerp'..
I could go on for... Some-time.
but, God I cherish those days. jd
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Ouch that looks sore!
You can be good AND dumbI was a good girl.
, there must be something???
Yeah, ouch!
Good lo'lawn darts, wonder why they stopped making thoseLolz, where do I Start... Hmm..
..Or, trying to play 'Beat the Car', by chucking rocks across a busy street, and seeing who could a) get the 'timing' right and b) Get back to 'cover' in time, if Not.. (!!)
..OR, maybe that time when we discovered Why playing 'chicken with Jarts' (those huge 'lawn darts', popular in the mid / late 70s, that ended up Banned, iirc..) was probably, yah - a 'Bad idea'..
..Or making a 'dummy of myself, in Bed', and sneaking out at 1am to go to the 'barranca' (local flood-wash), when the Folks were away on their Anniversary, and left an older - Wise-to-kids-shennanigans - couple 'in charge'...
..But, maybe since 'a picture is worth a Thousand Words', I'll just 'sum up' by sharing when I learned 'How Not to attempt to DIY your bike into a "chopper"...
(..but you should'a seen the Curb..
..Yeah, that was 2-3 months of 'seeing red' (miraculously, I didn't Break my orbit, but besides the Massive 'plum' I gave myself, there, Once it finally 'opened', I still had blood in my eye for awhile..) I mean - sure, you Could-maybe classify it as an "accident", but.. Truth be told, it falls more into the category of 'AcciDerp'..
I could go on for... Some-time.
jd
Told my mother to "Shut Up". Never saw her move...before I knew it I was in the back porch, bent over her knee with a paddle being applied to my rear end.
Never told her to shut up to her face again!
Never told her to shut up to her face again!
LL That's never a good move. I did something similar when I was little. Can't remember exactly what I said, but I remember the result!
My brother's youngest daughter always had a bit more attitude than brains. When she was about 9 she told my brother to "talk to the hand, cuz the ears aint listening". He lit her up something fierce. I was 30 and he scared Me!
My brother's youngest daughter always had a bit more attitude than brains. When she was about 9 she told my brother to "talk to the hand, cuz the ears aint listening". He lit her up something fierce. I was 30 and he scared Me!
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@The Lazy L i told my mom to shut up once also. Didn’t think she could hear me, I was just going inside and she was in the garden. She gave me a sharp slap across the face. Didn’t hurt too much. She had big hands tho.
My future husband’s brother and my brother were best friends and got in so much trouble in high school days (mostly nights). Like when they’d get the go cart on the road at 11p.m. and drive it 3 miles up the state road, from one residential neighborhood to the other where we lived. Finally got caught. Didn’t stop them from doing it again, anywhere. They’d plan “rumbles” against opposing high schools’ football teams.
My future husband’s brother and my brother were best friends and got in so much trouble in high school days (mostly nights). Like when they’d get the go cart on the road at 11p.m. and drive it 3 miles up the state road, from one residential neighborhood to the other where we lived. Finally got caught. Didn’t stop them from doing it again, anywhere. They’d plan “rumbles” against opposing high schools’ football teams.
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I grew up outside of San Francisco in the city. The minute it was nighttime, out the bedroom window I went. Alot of the time I'd meet up with a sister that is 10 yrs older than me, and we would go out. That's pretty dumb, I know.
Come on Terri!!!You can be good AND dumb
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My mom planted rose bushes at my sisters’ bedroom window. They were both in high school so…
My future husband climbed through my bedroom window once, well, twice, to go back out. We were just friends, best friends. Lol. The window was only about 8” from the ground. No roses at my windows. Too shady.
My future husband climbed through my bedroom window once, well, twice, to go back out. We were just friends, best friends. Lol. The window was only about 8” from the ground. No roses at my windows. Too shady.
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Mom was always redorating and once put an extra loveseat in my bedroom, under the wall of windows. Came in late with a friend once, stepped on the top back of that loveseat coming in, laughing our heads off, and a huge noise as the loveseat fell forward. Shocked mom didn't wake up.
I never had that kind of childhood. The church play was the closest I ever came to normal. Once I hit around ten, can't be sure as no birthdays celebrated, my life blew to smithereens and became a version of surviving the zombie apocalypse. I could go for weeks out in the bush and no one would care.
So, dumb for me, was dog paddling across a cold deep lake alone without actually knowing how to swim or anyone even knowing where I was, or crawling into an old beaver dam to hide, not realizing there was no way to turn around once in there. That pickle took me several days to get out of.
So, dumb for me, was dog paddling across a cold deep lake alone without actually knowing how to swim or anyone even knowing where I was, or crawling into an old beaver dam to hide, not realizing there was no way to turn around once in there. That pickle took me several days to get out of.
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No one noticed you were missing for several days?
I think it's genetic: when my dad was 3 years old, he wouldn't answer my Gma if she called him so she had to say "Ricky call mama" and he would call her. One day she couldn't find him so "Ricky call mama" "Mama" came the reply. She followed the voice until she found him on top of the barn with his wagon. He was going to ride his wagon off the roof for fun. At 3!
My brother, maybe 4ish. We were at my other grandparents who had a pot bellied stove. My mom told him "Don't touch the stove. It's hot." He looked right at her and pressed his hand to the stove then screamed. She said, "I told you it was hot." So still looking right at her did it again (little bros. aren't so bright sometimes.) I was actually the easy kid. The only thing that comes to mind on this was I left a gate open once when I was 8 or 9 and the sheep got out. I was black and blue from my shoulders to my knees and couldn't sit for a week. I'm good at closing gates now.
My brother, maybe 4ish. We were at my other grandparents who had a pot bellied stove. My mom told him "Don't touch the stove. It's hot." He looked right at her and pressed his hand to the stove then screamed. She said, "I told you it was hot." So still looking right at her did it again
(little bros. aren't so bright sometimes.) I was actually the easy kid. The only thing that comes to mind on this was I left a gate open once when I was 8 or 9 and the sheep got out. I was black and blue from my shoulders to my knees and couldn't sit for a week. I'm good at closing gates now.
No one cared where I was or for how long. No one asked. I could have been gone for months or years. I was usually camped out in the trees with my horse most summers. Out of sight, out of mind.
Home was not some place to be if others were there. I was never near the house on week-ends or when my siblings were there. I would get off the school bus miles from home and cut through the bush to avoid being alone with my siblings. My oldest brother was a biserker.
I grew up in the twilight zone, and never knew all the things you all talk about. I never spoke a word to anyone and once put the high-school gym teacher in the hospital when she snuck up on me and clapped me on the shoulder from behind. I flipped her over my shoulder and she ended up going threw the gym door. It wasn't intentional, just instinct. I was exempted from self defense classes after that.
Don't bring up police ect... they didn't exist along with anything else you all take for granted.
I have lived shtf and am not looking forward to round two. Last I will say on this subject. Probably said too much.
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Sounds like you're talking about us guys, I tried not to be manipulative, but one time a girlfriend told me I had a magnetic personality.
You can be good AND dumb
I'm not sure the statue of getting my butt beat has expired!
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Moving beyond 10 years old.
Growing up poor we didn't have money so I couldn't afford the senior prom BUT I could muster enough money for a keg of beer so I threw an Anti-Prom party held on the night of the prom. Lots or people showed up and of course the party got raided. Everyone got away except my younger brother that got arrested for under age drinking. I still don't know how he found out about it.
It well before that that my father told me:
When you graduate from high school you will get out, get a job,or both.
Joining the Navy fulfilled the both option.
Ben
Growing up poor we didn't have money so I couldn't afford the senior prom BUT I could muster enough money for a keg of beer so I threw an Anti-Prom party held on the night of the prom. Lots or people showed up and of course the party got raided. Everyone got away except my younger brother that got arrested for under age drinking. I still don't know how he found out about it.
It well before that that my father told me:
When you graduate from high school you will get out, get a job,or both.
Joining the Navy fulfilled the both option.
Ben
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In my house, they only cared because I was the family servant. "Go fer this, go get that, go do this." I always wondered what happened when I left home. Did people get up and get themselves a drink of water then? Did they get up and go to the sink and get water by themselves, like they were always capable of but decided that being waited on was better? Who did the laundry? Who cooked? Who did the dishes? Who made beds? Who cleaned? Who shoveled the snow? Who mowed the grass? After I left home, I felt so free. I remember walking down a hall at college and wanting to jump and click my feet together.
