Going Crazy... Productive Things To Do While Saving Up For Land to Homestead on?

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tuliprox

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I need some help. I feel like I'm going crazy. I just can't stand living like this anymore- living at my father-in-law's house with my fiancé and his dad and his dad's psychotic girlfriend who torments us randomly, but even that is tolerable; what I really can't stand anymore is working on my feet for 40 hrs a week, 10 hrs a day multiple days a week, on my feet doing physical labor (dog training at a dog training/boarding/grooming/daycare facility), and then always being too exhausted and sore to ever do anything, even on my days off. I just want to get our land and quit my job and start homesteading already.


We have a plan to continue to save while living at his dad's house until we have about $15k to spend on 5-10 acres of land (hopefully closer to 10) and $5k in emergency funds. We currently have a little over $5k. Unfortunately, just having that amount of money is making me want to just go get an acre and work our way up to more by building and selling. But my fiance says we have to be smart and wait and save as much as we can here since this is basically our last chance to do this.


I just... I don't know. I need help finding productive things to do while we wait and save. I keep trying to do things like start practicing wood working, and braiding paracord, and we've been going camping and setting up shelters and making fires and cooking over fires and fishing and stuff, but it just never feels like I have enough time or energy to finish any projects. I would like to try to do things that will help us save and/or make extra money as well so that hopefully we can get out there as quickly as possible. We currently live in Texas, by Dallas, but we plan to move to Tennessee, possibly Kentucky or (my personal preference), Ohio. I know Tennessee has the cheapest land though, so I figure we'll most likely end up there for that reason since we want the most land for our money. We can't stand the heat or the people here lol, and I'm actually from Ohio (moved to Texas at 10 yrs old with family).


I've also been wanting to try to start growing some stuff, but again just never feel I have the time to get started. By the time I get done with getting all my **** ready for work the next day, it's so late I have to get to bed for work in the morning. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has had/has this issue and what advice they have for dealing with it. Maybe I need smaller projects to start with? I don't know... I love doing research and learning and planning stuff and writing **** out, but at the same time I want to do something that will actually save and/or make us money so we can get out of here sooner lol. I've just been getting so depressed it's all I can think about and talk about lately, so I just was wondering if anyone else has experienced this. My fiance seems to feel the same way, but not quite as strongly as I do. I've been working this job for the past 4 years and in the kennel industry for the past 6, and I'm just so tired already at the ripe old age of 22, lol. For background info, I'm a woman and my fiance is an almost 31 yr old man.

Thanks in advance!
 
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Well, welcome from Mississippi, tuliprox!

I felt like that for several years while we traveled and lived in a travel trailer. I worked on my feet also, waitressing. While in that lifestyle, I learned to pressure can (already knew how to water bath foods). I learned about dehydrating foods also. Couldn't really garden, but I was reading about it, so when we finally did get our place, I had a good head start. That was my experience and it definitely benefitted us.
 
I get the standing on your feet for 40 plus hours a week. . . that's the only type jobs I have had during my working career. :) I used to work restaurants in the assembly line then as a cook. After that was clothing retail. Now it deals with food retail. You do whatever you got to do, even if it means working over 40 hours, as in working 2 jobs if needed to accomplish your dreams faster. You can work your regular job than do one of your "hobbies" as a side income. If you sew, maybe sell quilts or clothing? I never imagined I would do either but when grand babies started coming, I picked up sewing a lot more. I dont do it for an income, but I know it is a possibility if needed. I also can. My Mayhaw jelly is in high demand, that is another item I know I could sell. I dont need to have additional income right now and will just give away, but I do have skills that bring it in if something should happen. Maybe focus on skills that could bring in some income. For example I just made a tutu style dress for my granddaughter. Those can be as expensive or as cheap as you would like to make it. They sell very well.
 
My fiance wants us to stay here at his dad's as long as we can since we currently are not having to pay for any rent or utilities, so this is our last chance to have an opportunity like this where we can live rent-free and save as much as possible. When I met my fiance about 4 yrs ago, he had gotten out of prison (federal felony for trafficking weed across state lines with an unregistered firearm under the car seat that he got for protection (but never fired/used) after his apt was broken into and him and his (at the time) pregnant (at the time) girlfriend) about 1 year prior to our meeting. We were both pizza delivery drivers and were each living at our respective dads' houses at the time, as I was only 18 and he was 27 and had mostly drug dealt and then had been in prison from ages 21-26. My father was very strict so I ended up becoming extremely rebellious especially once I turned 18 and so I quit my kennel job at the vet clinic I had worked at since I was 16 and had been running around getting drunk and high and blowing all my savings, lol. After a few months of that, I ran out of money and places to stay, so I came back home to my dad's and got the pizza delivery job where I met my fiance. We bonded so hard and fast that by month 1 or 2 into our relationship I was basically living at his dad's house with him just going back to my house twice a day to take care of my animals lol. After a couple months, we decided we wanted to get better paying hourly jobs (the pizza place was tips/commission only, so some days we would go home with $10 after working 4 hours while others we would make $120 after 5 hrs). So I got a job at the dog training facility as a kennel tech, and after 6 mos I was promoted to a dog trainer. My fiance found a job as a delivery driver for a sub-contacting company for Amazon. After we saved up, we were able to get a 1 yr lease on a condo together with his dad cosigning for us cause neither of us had any credit yet. So we lived there for a year, and then a month before the lease was up, my fiancé was laid off because the company he was working for lost their contract in the amazon warehouse they were stationed in.

So we had to move in with his dad because I couldn't support us off my paycheck alone. When we moved back in with his dad, we developed an addiction (I'm in so much pain from work all the time ill take anything I can get to help me feel not like death all the time) and ended up getting sucked in and throwing away all of our money to drugs for a year. We really regret that, especially considering we could be moving out right now if we hadn't done that. But unfortunately we can't change the past. So we just came up with this homesteading plan a few months ago, not long after we started getting treatment for our addictions (so unfortunately I am currently spending $200/month on that until we taper off). We figure we'll just find a clinic nearby where we want to move to if we aren't off by then that has funding and just transfer since once I quit my job ill be able to go for free, as long as the clinic has funding. I don't want to move until we have the money to go and homestead and not have to work (although my fiance will probably work part time at first since he can transfer to another hotel branch and so we have a little reliable income for expenses like cell phone bills, car insurance, gas, etc.). Because the whole reason I want to leave so badly so quickly is because I'm sick of working. I just want to work on our homestead all day instead.

So basically this is our last chance (my dad would never let us live with him, only me by myself, and my mom lives in massachusetts and is homeless half the time, with a full time job) to have this opportunity to be able to live rent free at his dad's house and work and save as much as we possibly can. So my fiance is dead set on not blowing it and staying here and saving up until we have more than enough to not be totally screwed out there lol. We do also still have to get a few more things like a chainsaw, solar panels, backpacks, seeds, soil ph tester, etc. before we can move out there as well. I'm actually about to order the compound bow my fiance wants for his birthday coming up in a couple weeks.

I really want to move ASAP, but unfortunately it doesn't look like a possibility for a little while at least. Not to mention it is too close to winter and we don't have enough time to get out there and prepare for winter before it hits.
 
Yes exactly, that is exactly what I want to do is find skills that can make some extra income. I just... I don't know. Maybe I need add medication or something I always start all these projects and never finish them it seems :/
 
You are only 22. . . so have only worked maybe 6 years out of your whole life?? Maybe more if you babysat as a kid?? If you have a true desire, you will stop at nothing to achieve your final goal in life, but honestly I dont see that in you and your fiance as of yet. It takes a lot of hard work to achieve ones dream. . . I did it! I now work only part time and am able to homestead to preserve the majority and help raise the meat on the hoof. You could do it too, but medication is not something you can fall back on. This all requires hard work that needs a clear mind, if not you can get hurt and as I have seen with your previous post, your not there yet. Get cleaned up please!!
 
I know I need to get off but it's gonna take a little while. We just found our "therapeutic dose" (the lowest dose we need to not withdraw) like a few weeks ago. So not exactly ready to start tapering just yet. I'm just so worried because even tho I know we'll only go down like 1 mg a week im just worried about withdrawing and feeling rotten at work and calling in to work and ****... I know once I quit ill be fine, just worried about starting it before then. I know I shouldn't get on something else but I need help lol I'm sure I have adhd without the hyperactivity. I hyperfixate on one project for a while, forget about it, start another one, etc etc. How do you even make more time in the day to do anything even? It seems to take all day just to do basic **** like grocery shopping and cooking and eating lol that by the time I'm done with everything I HAVE to do, it's too late to do anything I want to work on or learn :/
 
Get a homestead where you will work hard, on your feet, for 16 hours a day and you don't get weekends off or holidays.
If working hard, long, hours is what you want to get away from then maybe homesteading isn't really what you want.
 
Yeah I know, my fiance said he definitely didn't feel theway I do when he was my age lol (of course he was also drug dealing so... I probably wouldn't either if I had unlimited money lmao). And obviously we are "cleaned up" if we're sober? We literally don't even drink anymore...
 
tuliprox said:
I know I need to get off but it's gonna take a little while. We just found our "therapeutic dose" (the lowest dose we need to not withdraw) like a few weeks ago. So not exactly ready to start tapering just yet. I'm just so worried because even tho I know we'll only go down like 1 mg a week im just worried about withdrawing and feeling rotten at work and calling in to work and ****... I know once I quit ill be fine, just worried about starting it before then. I know I shouldn't get on something else but I need help lol I'm sure I have adhd without the hyperactivity. I hyperfixate on one project for a while, forget about it, start another one, etc etc. How do you even make more time in the day to do anything even? It seems to take all day just to do basic **** like grocery shopping and cooking and eating lol that by the time I'm done with everything I HAVE to do, it's too late to do anything I want to work on or learn :/
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You are feel
ing ****** right now right? So what differwbcw does Stay that course. that truely make other than you are going in the right direction to get clean! That is huge in life!! Stay that direction. . . Your life will only get better once you clean up along with your fiance.
 
I would love to work hard outside on my homestead with my fiance and animals all day every day. I just hate having to leave my fiance and animals to go work every day and not be able to set my own pace and take short breaks when I want to and having to worry about being judged my coworkers or ******* up at all and worrying about bosses and hours etc etc. Every time we go camping I love chopping and collecting firewood all day and doing stuff like that and never want to leave haha.
 
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Dani said:
You are feel
ing rotten right now right? So what differwbcw does Stay that course. that truely make other than you are going in the right direction to get clean! That is huge in life!! Stay that direction. . . Your life will only get better once you clean up along with your fiance.
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Not due to being off drugs? I only feel ****** because of the job I'm working. I'm not like withdrawing or anything. We are completely clean and off all street drugs and alcohol.
 
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Find a piece of life that you are passionate about and build on that to replace the "feel good" medicine that doesn't allow you to feel anything.
Life sucks sometimes but it is also WONDERFUL! the medicine doesn't allow you to feel that wonder.
 
I'm curious, how many of you have ever been on methadone? It doesn't do anything except keep us from withdrawing. It doesn't get you high, it doesn't zombie us out, it doesn't alter our mental state at all. We are on as low doses as possible so that literally all it does is keep us from withdrawing. Thats all.
 
I just want more idea of productive things to do/practice/learn while we wait and save. And any recommendations/advice for our plans. Most likely we will have tapered off the methadone by the time we have all the money and supplies we need to actually buy the land and move.
 
I was on methadone for three years for my back pain...
I took myself off of it by reducing the dose and letting it normalize and then dropping the dose again. I did it on my own, no withdrawal and just dealt with the pain until I was free. Then I went to my doctor and told her I was never taking it again. We found a better choice of pain drug that I could control the dose with as I needed it. I am only using aspirin now and my pain is debilitating at times but I can still enjoy life most of the time.

Find something in life that is a passion - religion, skydiving, hiking, gardening, woodworking, anything that allows you to build on to the joy of life. Getting off methadone only took about three months. If it takes you longer that is OK, just reduce your dosage after it normalizes for a short period. If you need your doctors help the get it but keep pushing your dosage down. Life is a lot better without it!
 
Yes, that is the plan! Just over a longer period of time. I have to work with the doctor as they have to dose us Monday Wednesday Friday and we only get pre-measured take homes for Tuesday, Thursday and weekends. I am trying to do that... it just seems like every time I start something I never have the time/energy/motivation to finish it :/ and then I just find something new lol. My true passion will have to wait until we move unfortunately, so just trying to do smaller things until then.
 
My day starts with bottle feeding a calf at 5 am, then the goats, as day light starts around 6:45 start cleaning out the goats barn and the calfs area. Then I hit the garden area to weed and pick.. Then I preserve what I can with canning, dehydrating or freeze drying. Keep in mind this can be quick or take hours. Then after all that I do I try to get in a few hours sleep before I go into work which happens after I do the evening feeding at 5 pm. I work anywhere between 5 - 16 hours depending. Normally it is around 9 and a half hours on days I come in a week which is 3 days a week. My point is even homesteading, you will work your butt off!! It's not all relaxing and do at your own pace. There are days I litterally only get an hour of sleep before work because I am needed to tend one of the animals. I have never done drugs so can not sympathize with you at all. . . But I do know what it takes to make a go of a homestead.
 
Talk to your doctor and get fixed up with a psychiatrist and psychologist. There new drugs available that can help with staying focused and motivated.

If you carck that nut the rest will come with hard work and conviction.

Just my 2 cents,

Ben
 
Yes, I have been thinking i need to go see a psych as well, Neb. I really want to find a way (whether with meds or counseling) to get on top of this adhd or whatever. I actually did try to go see one a few weeks ago, but it's a huge pain in the ass cause I'm on an HMO plan and I have to get a referral from my primary dr. I tried calling and asking about getting one but never got a call back.

That sounds awesome minus the going to work part. I would love to work outside on my homestead all day doing hard work. I love doing it when we go camping. I just hate the stress of an hourly job with coworkers and clients and bosses and having to do bologna ass yank and crank dog training instead of the Leerburg methods I train my own dogs with and plan on using to do dog training once we move.
 
We basically made an agreement that once we move, my fiance will be the one working part time while we both tend to the homestead (and obviously ill do some more work on the homestead while he's at work work), and that if **** gets tough and he needs to work full time, he will. We made this agreement that I won't have to work and hourly job, only on the homestead because I supported us working a full time job for the whole year we were addicted after he was laid off. He didn't get a new job until we got clean. So thats why we are doing it that way.
 
tuliprox said:
Yes, I have been thinking i need to go see a psych as well, Neb. I really want to find a way (whether with meds or counseling) to get on top of this adhd or whatever. I actually did try to go see one a few weeks ago, but it's a huge pain in the ass cause I'm on an HMO plan and I have to get a referral from my primary dr. I tried calling and asking about getting one but never got a call back.

That sounds awesome minus the going to work part. I would love to work outside on my homestead all day doing hard work. I love doing it when we go camping. I just hate the stress of an hourly job with coworkers and clients and bosses and having to do bologna ass yank and crank dog training instead of the Leerburg methods I train my own dogs with and plan on using to do dog training once we move.
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Get going with the psychiatrist (for meds) and counselor.

You sound a lot like my son (save the hard drugs) and he does well provided he stays on his meds.

DO IT NOW !

Ben
 
Lol okay okay I will try to do it as soon as I can! My only weekday off is Thursday and I usually work til 6:30 pm, so it is hard to make apps and **** cause a lot of places close at 5 or 6 -.- so I always have to wait til Thursday unless they're open Sundays or Saturdays after 1 pm cause I work til 1 pm Saturdays.
 
Dani said:
I am sorry if that hurts but I am real and honest in the way I think
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I don't know how much 'tough-love' she can handle.
The first change you need to make, is to get a new fiance.
There are millions of people out there.
If your guy is 31, with a prison record, still living with his dad, you are driving down a dead-end street.
The free rent ain't worth it.
You are too young to spend your good productive years dragging them both behind you.
Great guys that already have land and don't just sit on their butts, await you:
https://farmersonly.com/#step/1
Working on the land all day will end any bad habit you may have. Trust me, I know.
 
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