Have you considered GRIEF in your plans?

[Aerindel]

@Aerindel But we're out here, and we're not zombies .

I'm sure. But thats almost never obvious to me just walking down the street. Its not like there is a prepper secret badge or something...

This probably requires more explanation.

When I say zombie, I don't mean mindless or evil, or otherwise bad people.

It's more literal.....dead men walking.

The core of my prepping lifestyle is to live like the collapse already happened. Instead of building up a bunch of stuff and skills 'just in case' I build up prepping stuff and skills to be used everyday and try to live a lifestyle compatible with those things and skillsets.

Fundamentally, thats why I'm on a homesteading forum, and my biggest problems with the kind of prepper who lives a perfectly normal life, but spends all their time and money building a second life that they may never use and hope never to use.


But, if you really try to live like it already happened, that means that when you meet people with only two days of food in their pantry, don't know how to change a flat tire, don't have any water, or heat that doesn't come to them through a pipe in the wall....that in my world view, those people are not just doomed....but already dead, without even knowing it.

Thats what I mean by zombies.....literally 'dead men walking'

It used to really bother me when I realized that most of the people I meet, would be dead in a week if the power was shut off and no help came. But as I've had almost zero success 'converting' a muggle into a prepper, I've eventually learned to just write them off as they are what they are, by their own choices.

I think I would not be too bothered when their end comes, because....on some level, its allready come.

But if my cat dies I'm wrecked and never get over it. Because unlike all those 'zombies', it was part of MY group and MY responsibility.

Its probably just a PTSD thing....but I randomly see people 'dead' in my minds eye all the time. Not imaginary dead people, but a real person in front of me, but I'm imagining what they would look like dead.

 

[Rebecca]

So I have contemplated how to answer this without sounding like a monster/crazy/uncaring .. and disrespectful of others life challenges and way of doing things.

I have a few things in common with Aerindel. Things like live as if it's already happening. And I am aware that pretty much everyone I meet will die in a SHTF event.
I have seen enough dead strangers, sometimes they didn't die well. The children bother me more than the adults. But in general dead strangers don't freak me out.

But I am very good at compartmentalizing. Perhaps unhealthily good at it.
I also don't like to hide from the obvious or lie to myself. That way I can deal with a lot more because I have already come to terms with the likely path things will take.

In an end of the world as we know it kind of disaster. In a grid down really bad no fast recovery situation some things are obvious.
My family in SA will most likely all die. This includes my mom and sister. No point hiding from that fact. They are un prepared and living in an already very dangerous place.
If said disaster were to happen right this moment, while hubby is at work, in the very isolated wilderness of north central BC. The chances of me ever seeing him again are so so tiny. He might get out of there, but with no roads in, no boats at the dock permanently etc etc and 6000km between us...well hope springs eternal I guess but no use sugar coating the likely truth. Travel in SHTF has been well discussed.

My worry isn't that I will give up in my grief, or not try to carry on. Because that's just not an option. I will not let it be an option. I've watched a loved one battle suicide and depression, and vowed from a young age to never let it take me. Probably where the compartmentalizing started. I do worry that I would become careless in the face of violent threats but I guess that can't be predicted.

 

[LadyLocust]

@Aerindel & @Rebecca I get it ~ and agree. Living everyday in "practice" vs. when it happens is the way to do it. Also as far as others: we have no control over what they do/prepare or don't, and I know also that many of my friends/family will be among the first mass to parish.

 

[Aerindel]

So I have contemplated how to answer this without sounding like a monster/crazy/uncaring .. and disrespectful of others life challenges and way of doing things.

 

[Rebecca]

View attachment 77983

I really was not trying to poke at you

Sorry!!

 

[Aerindel]

I really was not trying to poke at you

Sorry!!

Nothing to be sorry for. I used the meme jokingly.....(I stopped caring if people thought I was a monster awhile ago)

More just acknowledging how screwed up I probably seem to people anytime I start talking about how I feel about something.

 

[Tank-Girl]

I've had to deal with and continue to deal with not only grief but PTSD..and now health issues.

There's grief and MOURNING over not only death of loved ones but also a way of life, grief and mourning at the destruction of our society. Grief and mourning over everything we hold dear and everything we cherished about our way of lives being stripped away from us.
Grief and mourning that comes from being rejected by friends and loved ones for having the guts to think and act differently than they do.

I've always said it's the people who are in the suck zone and have had their naivety ripped from them will cope with the upheaval better than the normies who skip through life wearing rose coloured glasses.
The dumb compliant sheep will also have to process and deal with how they've been betrayed.

The five stages of grief, well, I've never been one for denial or bargaining. And I've jumped straight from generic anger to straight up rage and depression and pretty much live there. It's normal and I've lived there so long I can still be high functioning and be shut down at the same time. TIGHT. Acceptance is a slow...glacially slow process.

Mourning - a form of depression really robs you for motivation and care factor to deal with situations.
Recognise it for what it is. It's the true destroyer. Acknowledge it and know that it's bloody inconvenient and at that particular moment in time to survive and function you are going to have to push it away and lock down that process TIGHT and get crap done.
Deep in the trenches isn't the time to process.
In a survival situation we won't have the luxury of processing it as it happens because the order of priorities are 1) Survive. 2) Assess. etc..etc...unpacking the mental baggage can happen when your stomach is full, life is more stable and a lot more predictable and you can afford the luxury of falling into a depressive slump.

Thankfully I have thought ahead and I have started growing Lion's Tail to make tinctures.
It makes slumps more manageable.

The five stages of grief are:

• denial.
• anger.
• bargaining.
• depression.
• acceptance.

 

[Morgan101]

I don't think I have ever gotten past Stage 2. Sad, I admit.

 

[Tank-Girl]

I don't think I have ever gotten past Stage 2. Sad, I admit.

Don't be sad, Brother.
I function better when I'm angry rather than sad.
Anger/rage can be channelled and used as fuel and is a source of motivation.
It can turn you gritty, stubborn, determined and hard to kill.

Depression is the true killer.

 

[Morgan101]

It can turn you gritty, stubborn, determined and hard to kill.

I like to think those are all accurate descriptions.