How to retire with a flare?

[Neb]

The Princess is planning to retire soon and I have been urging her to go big with her exit.

We heard of a woman that was instrumental at her place of work that had recently got a new young boss that didn't appreciate her contribution to the company trying to tell her what and how to do things. She was fed up and was prepared to retire so on her last day she was in a meeting where the young boss was pushing deadlines during a meeting when the woman stood up and said.

"I don't think this company can complete the project let alone with a short deadline"

The boss said

"What makes think that?"

The woman said

"Because I turned in my resignation an hour ago."

So...

I am looking for ideas that would inspire The Princess to go big on the way out.

The Princess, like the woman in the story is instrumental to her company, works 60-70 hour weeks and is often blamed any time something goes wrong. She has had enough and is ready to retire.

What can tou suggest?

Ben

 

[SheepDog]

Male strippers with real guns!
OK, maybe not, how about a declaration of independence?
Or maybe condolence cards and baskets for her co-workers and a get better soon card for the boss?

 

[Supervisor42]

...
The Princess, like the woman in the story is instrumental to her company, works 60-70 hour weeks and is often blamed any time something goes wrong. She has had enough and is ready to retire.

What can tou suggest?

Ben

Smile real nice
...And watch the silence become deafening

Seeing the 'coat-tailers' staring at each other and saying: "whatta we do now?" is PRICELESS!

 

[Cascadian]

Can you give us a little more to work with? Is it office, sales, trucking or maybe position secretary, bookkeeper, vice president?

 

[Cascadian]

Ok here is one, the men in black show up and she is never heard from again. With talk of files, videos, " the visitors". That way she could avoid the phone calls on where is this and how do we do that.

 

[UrbanHunter]

IF YOU KNOW YOU ARE ABOUT TO RETIRE, KEEP IT A SECRET:
I've always thought it would be good to give the young management exactly what they are asking for.
Agree with them on everything, especially if it is stupid and unrealistic.
If they want diversity, help them justify hiring diversity over high quality individuals.
If they want new technology, help them order the latest and greatest to be delivered a week after you leave. If it's the accounting system, let the contractor start before you leave, that way they can be closer to crashing the system by the time you get out the door.
If they are setting unrealistic deadlines, encourage them, say well what's stopping us from doing it in half that time?
If they want to low-ball bid a contract that you know they will loose money on, help them and make sure that your supervisor is identified as the lead on the proposal.
If they want you to train your replacement say sure, happy to help.
Then at 4:30 give them your keys and equipment and say, Oh, by the way today was my last day....

 

[kd4ulw]

On the last day go around telling people that you’ve uncovered proof that the election was stolen and that you will be taking it to the local news, then ‘disappear’.

 

[Amish Heart]

Well, she can come to work suited up with her sword and tell them she has other plans for today

 

[Neb]

Male strippers with real guns!
OK, maybe not, how about a declaration of independence?
Or maybe condolence cards and baskets for her co-workers and a get better soon card for the boss?

Hmmm

She could do the wizard of Oz thing and pull out a bag and go around the room handing out tasks..

And to you I pass all trips to the data center in the wee hours if the morning to upgrade servers switches and hardware. Remember rhere pgysical restrictions to blame on me.

Too you I pass all performance and load balancing issues. If there are issues blame them on me.

Too you I pass all issue management and reporting tasks. If you fet backlogged is was probably some I screwed up blame the previous administration.

...
Ben

 

[Neb]

Smile real nice
...And watch the silence become deafeningView attachment 67319
Seeing the 'coat-tailers' staring at each other and saying: "whatta we do now?" is PRICELESS!

If she could only record it and report to me. To be a fly on the wall.

Ben

 

[Neb]

Can you give us a little more to work with? Is it office, sales, trucking or maybe position secretary, bookkeeper, vice president?

She is a project manager +.

She handles project for a large library system.

Example
Need to replace 1000 pcs in 350 libraries because the old ones are coming off lease... She manages it.

Need to add RFID to all books... she manages it.

In short she is the technical planner / coordinator for everything a Modern library needs and if anything goes south, she is the designated scape goat . She has been taking the heat for 20+ years now.

She is pretty close to an Atlas shrugged type.

Is that what tou need to know?

Ben

 

[Neb]

Ok here is one, the men in black show up and she is never heard from again. With talk of files, videos, " the visitors". That way she could avoid the phone calls on where is this and how do we do that.

I suspect that will come. She has all of the passwords and privileges to everything...

Ben

 

[Neb]

IF YOU KNOW YOU ARE ABOUT TO RETIRE, KEEP IT A SECRET:
I've always thought it would be good to give the young management exactly what they are asking for.
Agree with them on everything, especially if it is stupid and unrealistic.
If they want diversity, help them justify hiring diversity over high quality individuals.
If they want new technology, help them order the latest and greatest to be delivered a week after you leave. If it's the accounting system, let the contractor start before you leave, that way they can be closer to crashing the system by the time you get out the door.
If they are setting unrealistic deadlines, encourage them, say well what's stopping us from doing it in half that time?
If they want to low-ball bid a contract that you know they will loose money on, help them and make sure that your supervisor is identified as the lead on the proposal.
If they want you to train your replacement say sure, happy to help.
Then at 4:30 give them your keys and equipment and say, Oh, by the way today was my last day....

She is tempted because of a storage array upgrade that has been on-going. She doesn't want to pass on that project for altruistic reasons.

Ben

 

[The Lazy L]

The Princess is planning to retire soon and I have been urging her to go big with her exit.

We heard of a woman that was instrumental at her place of work that had recently got a new young boss that didn't appreciate her contribution to the company trying to tell her what and how to do things. She was fed up and was prepared to retire so on her last day she was in a meeting where the young boss was pushing deadlines during a meeting when the woman stood up and said.

"I don't think this company can complete the project let alone with a short deadline"

The boss said

"What makes think that?"

The woman said

"Because I turned in my resignation an hour ago."

So...

I am looking for ideas that would inspire The Princess to go big on the way out.

The Princess, like the woman in the story is instrumental to her company, works 60-70 hour weeks and is often blamed any time something goes wrong. She has had enough and is ready to retire.

What can tou suggest?

Ben

Leave in style. Keep her mouth shut and smile.

 

[Morgan101]

There are probably a few desks where she could leave a personal deposit if you get my drift. The new boss would certainly be one.

 

[zoomzoom]

Leave in style. Keep her mouth shut and smile.

My thoughts exactly.
Never burn bridges. Although she's retiring, it's possible that someone she knows may want into that organization. Burn the bridge and she can't be used as a reference for someone else. Also, there's a possibly in the ensuing chaos that may arise with her departure, the company may want to bring her back as a consultant (at probably double the money) to help get things organized.

 

[UrbanHunter]

@zoomzoom has a point, I would avoid leaving fingerprints, if someone is going to mess up let it be the management.
Who knows if the management fouls up enough they may get replaced and the company may want help resetting things back to a realistic footing.

 

[Neb]

She is not the type to do anything mean and nasty beyond walking away to let them fend for themselves.

I am am looking for ways for her to exit with class.

Ben

 

[Amish Heart]

A thank you note for the opportunity to work there to the management...treats for the underlings
But she should still wear the gi and have the sword

 

[Peanut]

In the immortal words of John Prine...

"Send my mouth way down south... and kiss my A$% Goodbye!

 

[Cascadian]

I am a few years from retirement. As much as I may want to stick it to some people I know those under me would have to clean up the mess.

On that note she could bow out gracefully and hand someone deserving the ability to save the day if/ when they choose to.