How Women Ought To Treat Their Husbands

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All relationships are built on trust. From trust comes all else. If you trust someone you can respect them. With respect comes compassion.
A choice to love someone (and it is a choice of action) is impossible without trust and respect.
 
Coach Gregg Adams and Terrence Popp do videos about relationships and marriages. They are not "experts" because they are not degreed whaterverers. They do know what they are talking about and are well researched. "Married and Still Single" "She will Never Love You" and many other titles.
 
Ha. He makes a lot of assumptions about anyone who is single and wants to date the opposite sex. (Greg Addams). I just watched about 6 minutes of his "dating is not fun for him" yt video.
I guess he's talking about women who are spoiled, completely self-sufficient, will have sex on the first date, let's see...should I go on? Nah. What a bunch of ...oh look, there's a squirrel!

Wait, isn't this thread about how women are "supposed" to treat their husbands? That still cracks me up.

Women, in my world and belief system, were created to be partner to men. To be a helper, to make families, to have a loving home. My interpretation of that is different than other folks' interpretation. If you don't want that, that's your thing and fine with me. Women, for the most part, have nurturing personalities. Some women don't.
 
My wife and I disagree on many things. Its no big deal. We are two different people so obviously we would would not always have the same views.
One thing we did agree on (I think) was when we had our first kid, my wife quit working (outside the home) to raise our son. So she was not working when our second came so she could spend her time raising him also. I think maybe that was a good thing because our kids seemed to turn out okay.
 
Being a lifelong bachelor (for good reason - I could never have been considered a catch) I am fortunate now to have friends of the female persuasion.
Ha. He makes a lot of assumptions about anyone who is single and wants to date the opposite sex. (Greg Addams). I just watched about 6 minutes of his "dating is not fun for him" yt video.
I guess he's talking about women who are spoiled, completely self-sufficient, will have sex on the first date, let's see...should I go on? Nah. What a bunch of ...oh look, there's a squirrel!

Wait, isn't this thread about how women are "supposed" to treat their husbands? That still cracks me up.

Women, in my world and belief system, were created to be partner to men. To be a helper, to make families, to have a loving home. My interpretation of that is different than other folks' interpretation. If you don't want that, that's your thing and fine with me. Women, for the most part, have nurturing personalities. Some women don't.

Yep, some women are arrogant aholes. Act like men, for cripesake.
:ghostly:
 
My wife and I agree far more often than not. We seem like v-e-r-y different people on the outside, but on the inside we are very similar. Almost shockingly so. When we don't agree and cannot seem to come to a compromise I always ask myself "how important is this", "how will it effect us", and "what do I believe is truly best for my family". About 60-70% of the time I just concede because it's not that important, the risk of negative outcome is low, and it's impact on our family is negligible. The other 30-40% of the time I stand firm and my wife will just accept it and move on. I had to learn when it was truly important to exert my 'head of household' authority and when to be flexible. She had to learn that when I stood firm acceptance was really the only option.

She wanted to stay home with the kids, and at the time we were making similar money. But she also knew that she wanted to ensure long term financial peace and prosperity and her earning potential over the long haul far exceeded mine. I told her that we would make it work either way. Since I was able to work evening & nights to avoid daycare she continued to work. By the 4th kid she was making 2x what I made. Just the other day she said she regrets not being a stay at home mother, but she also recognizes that even though the desire was there things worked out exactly the way they were supposed to. She also added that as the less patient parent the kids might not have survived her being a stay home mom and we would probably not have had as many children.
 
I think it's better if mom stays home with the kids. Sounds funny coming from the profession I just retired from. A lot of our parents didn't work, but didn't want to deal with their kids. Would leave them 9 hrs a day easy. Just enough time to bring them home, put them in front of the tv with dinner, bath (sometimes) and bed. They would pay us to teach them, comfort them, be there for them. Headstart around here has billboards telling people to sign up their infants for free! Two of our grandsons, who live locally has a mom who had another child out of wedlock, is waitressing pt, going to school on the govts dime, and when she was over with the kids for dinner last weekend, said that all kids need to go to daycare as early as possible so that they can learn something. Knowing the mom, she's probably right.
 
Many men I know have told me, "she" is usually or always right about EVERYTHING. That's one thing.

But I almost get the impression there is a submissive attitude expected and I don't play like that and never have, most likely never will.

My wife is about as submissive as a female wolverine. If there was a competition for the world's most dominant and stubborn woman I am confident that she would end up standing on a podium with a medal around her neck. And yet she will submit to me as her husband, which is generally quite surprising (if not shocking) to people when they see it or she tells them about it. In her words "Submitting to your husband is not a demonstration of weakness, it is the ultimate sign of strength. The Lioness is not weak in any way, but she will stand underneath her Lion's throat and protect him as he leads the pride."
 
All relationships are built on trust. From trust comes all else. If you trust someone you can respect them. With respect comes compassion.
A choice to love someone (and it is a choice of action) is impossible without trust and respect.

I LOVE this post SheepDog!

Hubs and I have talked about this very thing. We trust each other without thought. He knows I have his back and I know he has mine. I was so lucky to marry one of the good guys!;)

We have friends who have been divorced and remarried and we have found a fairly common thread in many of these couples we know......lack of trust. One of the gals we know grabs at her spouses cell phone when it dings. WTH? I don't even know how to check hubs messages. I'm sure I could figure it out, but I just don't care about his messages and they are not for me. About 90% of them are work related anyways. In addition, they are very clingy when they are out in public. That would drive me and hubs nutty! I like my personal space and I don't need to prove my affinity for my husband by clinging to him in public.:rolleyes: I also won't get jealous if someone gets flirty with hubs. I know who I'm going to bed with at night and so does he.

If you are divorced, please don't take offense to the above post. It's just been an observation we have noticed in our friends, but I will add that many of these couples haven't been married to their new spouse for very long so perhaps they are just getting used to their new relationships. I really don't know.
 
I stay home or about town because I am retired, my younger wife is still working.
So does this mean I should follow the rules set out here.

Because #2 is a problem, I do not wear makeup, I wash my face, shave & brush my teeth.
I have a full head of hair, but it is to short for a ribbon, well maybe a headband.
Maybe I can get a leather one from Frodo!
#3- I do not believe you can be a little Gay, you are or you are not.
#5 no school books & all toys are in the tool box or one of the tool boxes.
#7 no children, well maybe on the odd Holiday.
 
My how times have changed. This was certainly when women did not work outside of the home.
Thank you, Joel, for bring this thread back up. These guidelines were written for stay at home wives whose husbands worked out of the home. What are the guidelines for the situations where the woman who works outside of the home, as the breadwinner, while the husband is home? Could we switch the roles in these guidelines and expect the man of the house to do all of those things as well?
 
Thank you, Joel, for bring this thread back up. These guidelines were written for stay at home wives whose husbands worked out of the home. What are the guidelines for the situations where the woman who works outside of the home, as the breadwinner, while the husband is home? Could we switch the roles in these guidelines and expect the man of the house to do all of those things as well?
Weedy, I do not stay at home as I work. A lot. When I don't work, I do as many of the "domestic" things as I can. I am great with kids, a fairly decent cook, and a multitude of other things. I grew doing a multitude of tasks. I can cook, clean, can, sew, play mechanic, carpenter, and 100 and more additional things. I know I am not the only one that does. It is about working together and respecting one another. My vision for marriage is not working as I had hoped but I will continue to stay the course. The days of a single wage earner are few and far between these days no matter the sex of the individual.
 
The days of a single wage earner are few and far between these days no matter the sex of the individual.
Yes, this is true, they are over. I do see too many stories about women who work outside the home, come home and are also responsible for all cleaning and maintenance of the home while being criticized for not being able to maintain an immaculate home. Since I grew up as a child from the age of 6 being this person, the chief housekeeper and laundry person, while others sat and gave orders, or went about their merry way playing and having a good time with few or no chores, it is infuriating to me, and I refuse to accept that this is the way it works. I've always done way more than my share, but I've told a few people that this is over for me. I once traveled for several hours to arrive at a house to buy the food, do the cooking, told about child care and other expectations of me. When I got home from that trip, I had pneumonia. Never again. Too many takers in this world and the lack of equity in situations. This is a topic that bothers me, in case you didn't notice.
 
Yes, this is true, they are over. I do see too many stories about women who work outside the home, come home and are also responsible for all cleaning and maintenance of the home while being criticized for not being able to maintain an immaculate home. Since I grew up as a child from the age of 6 being this person, the chief housekeeper and laundry person, while others sat and gave orders, or went about their merry way playing and having a good time with few or no chores, it is infuriating to me, and I refuse to accept that this is the way it works. I've always done way more than my share, but I've told a few people that this is over for me. I once traveled for several hours to arrive at a house to buy the food, do the cooking, told about child care and other expectations of me. When I got home from that trip, I had pneumonia. Never again. Too many takers in this world and the lack of equity in situations. This is a topic that bothers me, in case you didn't notice.
I fully understand. I am not going to go on about my issues but I feel as I do for similar reasons as you. Tonight is a prime example. For me, I have determined to take a different path simply due to this type of behavior and expectations. The title of the tread seems to be how women should treat their husbands and I as a husband simply want to enjoy time with my wife. Sure, the house, the yard, the kids, the pets, etc all demand attention. Before any of that can happen the core needs to be addressed. The connection between a man and his wife emotionally, physically, and spiritually all need to be addressed, worked on, and nurtured. It really becomes how spouses or significant others treat each other. I am sorry you have had a rough time and I understand where you speak from.
 
Anyone know where there is the list of 18 points of how men are supposed to treat their wives?
That one is easy. There is only one....
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What does that look like? Doing the dishes? Laundry? Vacuuming? Cooking? Cleaning?
Not exactly.
Working overtime for years until your body is completely worn out and laying all the money at her feet.
 
Not exactly.
Working overtime until your body is completely worn out and laying all the money at her feet.
I can get that. I get working overtime. I worked 12 to 15 hour days for years. I always thought I'd work until I was 70. Nope. I am worn out too.
But can the money be partially used to giver her a break from the endless work?
 
I can get that. I get working overtime. I worked 12 to 15 hour days for years. I always thought I'd work until I was 70. Nope. I am worn out too.
But can the money be partially used to give her a break from the endless work?
Absolutely!
I grew up in the 'old south' where all older people had 'helpers'.
Just declare yourself 'old' and get you some in-house help with that money. :thumbs:
There is an abundance of energetic young people just waiting to help.:)
 
"He doesn't know where I keep the extra shampoo, but he would die protecting me, so it's a fair trade off".
:) I can appreciate that. My husband and I know we are lucky- but occasionally he will come in and say 'Woman of the house, wheres me Tae' (John Wayne qutoe) and then we laugh and laugh...and then he does the dishes...
 
This appears to have been written when "Leave it to Beaver" was on TV and portrayed the typical or maybe ideal family.

I would have to say that society hasn't gotten better since then and wonder if maybe the mother and wife being in the work place could be part of why.

I will say I DONT agree with the heart of whoever wrote that article. I see it as special 'pampering' for the man in which is included "staying out all night". We can assume what this means for the man and this is NOT AT ALL proper behavior for a husband. The Bible says "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her". In other words, husbands must be self sacrificing and willing to give all for her even including his own life. Promiscuity destroys families and of course is not at all loving toward his wife.

The Bible does describe the husband as head of the home. I blame husbands for NOT being leaders. I blame them for being childish as another person mentioned someone feels they are. Men should lead, should love their wives and children, should take them in a good and right direction. This is the foundation of society. This is the biggest reason society is falling apart. If we returned to the Biblical (God breathed) description of a family and home, there would be love, protection, and instruction for the children and we'd be in a much different society today.

If we all served God wholeheartedly, there'd be no war, crime, hate, violence, strife. We'd live in a perfect world.

That WILL NOT happen because we all have a sin nature and most are NOT going to love and follow God.

But to go back in time where the woman was the keeper of the home, would be a good thing. We've strayed in many ways and this is one.

It can be difficult to live on one income vs two. But I believe if we lower our financial standard a little, it can be done. The one working will usually carry much more financial burden but that's not the end of the world. I believe it's ideally the man who should be in the work place. The woman is physically equipped to nurse a child. Nature speaks in this. God designed nature the way He did for reasons higher than our own intellect can understand.

This is my interpretation of what I see in the Bible. If we seek it out, life will be better. None of us really live up to God's glorious ideal. But we should try. This shows we love God. If we love Him we'll obey His commands. It's our job to seek those out for ourselves.
 

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