Humor and Jokes

Discussion in 'Front Porch Chat' started by phideaux, Dec 3, 2017.

Help Support Homesteading Forum by donating using the link above.
  1. Jan 12, 2019 #1471

    JAC

    JAC

    JAC

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2018
    Messages:
    2,615
    Likes Received:
    10,196
    When I mentioned to my brother that the NSA was keeping all of his texts and such and that it was a breach of our privacy he said he didn't care cause he was doing nothing wrong. So I said " I guess you don't need your right to free speech either then because you have nothing to say."
     
    Patchouli, Weedygarden, bkt and 7 others like this.
  2. Jan 12, 2019 #1472

    JAC

    JAC

    JAC

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2018
    Messages:
    2,615
    Likes Received:
    10,196
    moreammo.jpg
     
    Weedygarden and snappy1 like this.
  3. Jan 12, 2019 #1473

    JAC

    JAC

    JAC

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2018
    Messages:
    2,615
    Likes Received:
    10,196
  4. Jan 13, 2019 #1474

    GrannyG

    GrannyG

    GrannyG

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2017
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    2,370
  5. Jan 14, 2019 #1475

    The Lazy L

    The Lazy L

    The Lazy L

    Old Cowpoke Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2017
    Messages:
    2,011
    Likes Received:
    10,400
    Location:
    The year of 1868
    Prepper.JPG
     
    Terri9630, Meerkat, Woody and 4 others like this.
  6. Jan 14, 2019 #1476

    SheepDog

    SheepDog

    SheepDog

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    1,969
    Likes Received:
    9,220
    Location:
    SE Washington State
    That is a silly picture. He has all those guns in a wheel barrow but only one ammo can. Not only does he have to dig to get the right gun but then he has to rummage through the ammo can to get the right ammo. He is also so weighted down that he cannot move quickly.
    The guy in the background has one small gun but no extra ammo. These two are the supply convoy for any real defenders they might run into.
     
    Terri9630, Meerkat and Woody like this.
  7. Jan 14, 2019 #1477

    Caribou

    Caribou

    Caribou

    Time traveler Neighbor Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    13,414
    Yes, but he's got beer so he can stay hydrated. Works for me.
     
  8. Jan 14, 2019 #1478

    Sparky_D

    Sparky_D

    Sparky_D

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2017
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    693
    Location:
    Pierce County WA
    Only one ammo can because they are all the same caliber...... 6mm plastic BB (Airsoft).
     
    Terri9630, Meerkat, Woody and 3 others like this.
  9. Jan 14, 2019 #1479

    JAC

    JAC

    JAC

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2018
    Messages:
    2,615
    Likes Received:
    10,196
    IF YOU MARRY A TEXAS GIRL

    The first man married a woman from New York. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

    The second man married a woman from Cincinnati. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

    The third man married a girl from Texas. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.
     
  10. Jan 14, 2019 #1480

    JAC

    JAC

    JAC

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2018
    Messages:
    2,615
    Likes Received:
    10,196
  11. Jan 14, 2019 #1481

    VoorTrekker

    VoorTrekker

    VoorTrekker

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2017
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    350
    Only three sheets? What is this, Hollywood? I use as many sheets necessary to cover the entire seat and then DOUBLE it up. No chances taken here.
    Hear about the guy who caught AIDS from a toilet seat?

    Well....someone was already sitting on it. :ghostly:
     
    Terri9630, Meerkat, Woody and 3 others like this.
  12. Jan 14, 2019 #1482

    angie_nrs

    angie_nrs

    angie_nrs

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2017
    Messages:
    1,145
    Likes Received:
    6,368
    Well, I saw spider man. What does that make me??? I'm soooooo confused! So, this is what it feels like to be a democrat.:p

    I said 3 pieces....not 3 sheets. I do appreciate those places that provide the azz gaskets instead. I try like heck to not have to go anywhere but home or work, but that's just not always possible. At work, I always clean the seat before I sit.
     
  13. Jan 14, 2019 #1483

    JAC

    JAC

    JAC

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2018
    Messages:
    2,615
    Likes Received:
    10,196
  14. Jan 15, 2019 #1484

    Caribou

    Caribou

    Caribou

    Time traveler Neighbor Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    13,414
  15. Jan 15, 2019 #1485

    backlash

    backlash

    backlash

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    1,440
    Likes Received:
    7,867
    Location:
    Dry and sane side of Washington
    I remember most all of it. I could even name most of the people.
    Man, I am old.
    My kids wouldn't know 10% and my grand-kids would know less than 1%.
     
    Caribou, Patchouli and snappy1 like this.
  16. Jan 15, 2019 #1486

    Cascadian

    Cascadian

    Cascadian

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2017
    Messages:
    353
    Likes Received:
    1,683
    That wouldn't play for me.:(
     
    Terri9630 and Caribou like this.
  17. Jan 16, 2019 #1487

    joel

    joel

    joel

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2017
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    3,324
    Play for me
    Some of it was before my time.
     
    Meerkat, Patchouli and Caribou like this.
  18. Jan 16, 2019 #1488

    Caribou

    Caribou

    Caribou

    Time traveler Neighbor Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    13,414
    You young whippersnapper!
     
    Terri9630, Meerkat, Woody and 2 others like this.
  19. Jan 16, 2019 #1489

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patriot Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2017
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    13,425
    Original release years may have been before some of our times, but things didn't move so fast then and most of it was still around or referenced frequently, part of the culture. I know Natalie Wood when I see her, usually James Dean.
     
  20. Jan 17, 2019 #1490

    VoorTrekker

    VoorTrekker

    VoorTrekker

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2017
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    350
    whisker snacker? oh, wait...
     
    Meerkat, Woody and Caribou like this.
  21. Jan 17, 2019 #1491

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    9,114
    Likes Received:
    30,539
    Todays young men trying to use rotary ,

    @Caribou , this one is better ,I put up wrong one that fast foward.



     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2019
    Woody, Terri9630, snappy1 and 2 others like this.
  22. Jan 17, 2019 #1492

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patriot Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2017
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    13,425
    There were times when I used to be three sheets to the wind.
     
    viking, snappy1, Woody and 2 others like this.
  23. Jan 17, 2019 #1493

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    9,114
    Likes Received:
    30,539

    I got that way a couple years ago and it wasn't pretty. Black Russians are not good fro old people. But it was fun while it lasted.
     
  24. Jan 17, 2019 #1494

    Amish Heart

    Amish Heart

    Amish Heart

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    3,833
    Likes Received:
    21,693
    I've had a time with Black Russians. And Margeritas. I can't stand the smell of a margerita now.
     
    snappy1, Woody, Meerkat and 1 other person like this.
  25. Jan 17, 2019 #1495

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patriot Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2017
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    13,425
    I am still uninformed. What or who is a Black Russian?
    :LOL:
     
    Meerkat and Amish Heart like this.
  26. Jan 17, 2019 #1496

    Amish Heart

    Amish Heart

    Amish Heart

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    3,833
    Likes Received:
    21,693
    It's a drink with Kahlua in it. Vodka too.
     
  27. Jan 17, 2019 #1497

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    9,114
    Likes Received:
    30,539
    Yep the ol double whammy. Don't know what pocessed me to order one must have been the atmosphere. But I didn't have a hangover next gay.
     
    snappy1, Amish Heart and Patchouli like this.
  28. Jan 17, 2019 #1498

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patriot Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2017
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    13,425
    sick, just sick. Meer, your mispellings are half the fun around here.

    It never helps to have a family member who works for a major alcohol beverages company.
     
  29. Jan 17, 2019 #1499

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Meerkat

    Awesome Friend Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Messages:
    9,114
    Likes Received:
    30,539
    I know I try to spell the word a couple times then let it go. I even sometimes go to search and it corrects it,lol. I tried spell check and it caused me all kinds of problems.
     
  30. Jan 17, 2019 #1500

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patchouli

    Patriot Neighbor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2017
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    13,425

Share This Page