Humor and Jokes

Discussion in 'Front Porch Chat' started by phideaux, Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. Jan 12, 2019 #1471

    JAC

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    When I mentioned to my brother that the NSA was keeping all of his texts and such and that it was a breach of our privacy he said he didn't care cause he was doing nothing wrong. So I said " I guess you don't need your right to free speech either then because you have nothing to say."
     
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  2. Jan 12, 2019 #1472

    JAC

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    moreammo.jpg
     
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  3. Jan 12, 2019 #1473

    JAC

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  4. Jan 13, 2019 at 10:27 PM #1474

    GrannyG

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  5. Jan 14, 2019 at 9:56 AM #1475

    The Lazy L

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    The year of 1868
    Prepper.JPG
     
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  6. Jan 14, 2019 at 10:45 AM #1476

    SheepDog

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    That is a silly picture. He has all those guns in a wheel barrow but only one ammo can. Not only does he have to dig to get the right gun but then he has to rummage through the ammo can to get the right ammo. He is also so weighted down that he cannot move quickly.
    The guy in the background has one small gun but no extra ammo. These two are the supply convoy for any real defenders they might run into.
     
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  7. Jan 14, 2019 at 11:22 AM #1477

    Caribou

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    Yes, but he's got beer so he can stay hydrated. Works for me.
     
  8. Jan 14, 2019 at 1:21 PM #1478

    Sparky_D

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    Only one ammo can because they are all the same caliber...... 6mm plastic BB (Airsoft).
     
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  9. Jan 14, 2019 at 3:17 PM #1479

    JAC

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    IF YOU MARRY A TEXAS GIRL

    The first man married a woman from New York. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

    The second man married a woman from Cincinnati. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

    The third man married a girl from Texas. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.
     
  10. Jan 14, 2019 at 3:19 PM #1480

    JAC

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  11. Jan 14, 2019 at 5:36 PM #1481

    VoorTrekker

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    Only three sheets? What is this, Hollywood? I use as many sheets necessary to cover the entire seat and then DOUBLE it up. No chances taken here.
    Hear about the guy who caught AIDS from a toilet seat?

    Well....someone was already sitting on it. :ghostly:
     
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  12. Jan 14, 2019 at 8:57 PM #1482

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    Well, I saw spider man. What does that make me??? I'm soooooo confused! So, this is what it feels like to be a democrat.:p

    I said 3 pieces....not 3 sheets. I do appreciate those places that provide the azz gaskets instead. I try like heck to not have to go anywhere but home or work, but that's just not always possible. At work, I always clean the seat before I sit.
     
  13. Jan 14, 2019 at 10:30 PM #1483

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  14. Jan 15, 2019 at 1:17 AM #1484

    Caribou

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  15. Jan 15, 2019 at 10:37 AM #1485

    backlash

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    I remember most all of it. I could even name most of the people.
    Man, I am old.
    My kids wouldn't know 10% and my grand-kids would know less than 1%.
     
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  16. Jan 15, 2019 at 11:41 AM #1486

    Cascadian

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    That wouldn't play for me.:(
     
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  17. Jan 16, 2019 at 2:36 PM #1487

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    Play for me
    Some of it was before my time.
     
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  18. Jan 16, 2019 at 3:06 PM #1488

    Caribou

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    You young whippersnapper!
     
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  19. Jan 16, 2019 at 8:10 PM #1489

    Patchouli

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    Original release years may have been before some of our times, but things didn't move so fast then and most of it was still around or referenced frequently, part of the culture. I know Natalie Wood when I see her, usually James Dean.
     
  20. Jan 17, 2019 at 12:12 AM #1490

    VoorTrekker

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    whisker snacker? oh, wait...
     
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  21. Jan 17, 2019 at 7:05 PM #1491

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    Todays young men trying to use rotary ,

    @Caribou , this one is better ,I put up wrong one that fast foward.



     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2019 at 7:34 PM
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  22. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:07 PM #1492

    Patchouli

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    There were times when I used to be three sheets to the wind.
     
  23. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:12 PM #1493

    Meerkat

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    I got that way a couple years ago and it wasn't pretty. Black Russians are not good fro old people. But it was fun while it lasted.
     
  24. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:14 PM #1494

    Amish Heart

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    I've had a time with Black Russians. And Margeritas. I can't stand the smell of a margerita now.
     
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  25. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:19 PM #1495

    Patchouli

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    I am still uninformed. What or who is a Black Russian?
    :LOL:
     
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  26. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:28 PM #1496

    Amish Heart

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    It's a drink with Kahlua in it. Vodka too.
     
  27. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:37 PM #1497

    Meerkat

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    Yep the ol double whammy. Don't know what pocessed me to order one must have been the atmosphere. But I didn't have a hangover next gay.
     
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  28. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:41 PM #1498

    Patchouli

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    sick, just sick. Meer, your mispellings are half the fun around here.

    It never helps to have a family member who works for a major alcohol beverages company.
     
  29. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:44 PM #1499

    Meerkat

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    I know I try to spell the word a couple times then let it go. I even sometimes go to search and it corrects it,lol. I tried spell check and it caused me all kinds of problems.
     
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  30. Jan 17, 2019 at 9:48 PM #1500

    Patchouli

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    :huggs::great::good luck::fun fun:
     
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