Humor and Jokes

Discussion in 'Front Porch Chat' started by phideaux, Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. Mar 14, 2019 #1921

    JAC

    JAC

    JAC

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    I had a neighbor who did something similar once. He came over and asked me if he could hide his car in my back yard so he could catch his wife cheating. I let him park his car then he went back and crawled under his mobile home and spent all day there. His wife saw him crawl under in the morning and said she spent all day thumping all around the house as much as she could and making as much noise as she could then went out in the late afternoon and leaned under the house and asked him what he wanted for dinner.

    They split up a year or so later and in fact she did have a boyfriend on the side and moved in with him immediately.
     
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  2. Mar 14, 2019 #1922

    SheepDog

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    A poem about foundations:


    I built a house and a home
    both with sturdy foundations.
    One of trust, the other of stone
    and filled them with carnations.


    Mortar and rock cracked with age,
    and lies ate holes in the trust.
    Without support the house soon sagged
    and filled with jealous lust.


    As house and home fell at my feet
    a twisted screeching rubble,
    the years ahead appear most bleak
    my life, a bursting bubble.


    A house rebuilt is good as new,
    not so a broken home.
    With hammer and saw and pots of glue,
    and new support of stone.


    The house will stand for years to come
    but trust does not restore
    with wood or stone or luck so dumb
    my trust forever more
    stays in myself and not in love
    and closes every door.

    copyright(C)1986 Paul Stephens
    (published as an open source document)

    There is a happy ending to this story but it took a decade to be realized.
    Trust is the only foundation for love or even friendship. It must be constantly maintained. That requires honesty.
    Love is a verb, it is something we do, not something that exists on its own.
    Love as a noun is just a short term feeling that disappears without the act.
    So love your partner - actively work at letting them know that they are loved and appreciated.
     
  3. Mar 14, 2019 #1923

    GrannyG

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  4. Mar 15, 2019 #1924

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  5. Mar 15, 2019 #1925

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  6. Mar 15, 2019 #1926

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    This dog needs a little more training...

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Mar 15, 2019 #1927

    backlash

    backlash

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    Not if the dog belongs to his wife.:p
     
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  8. Mar 15, 2019 #1928

    Cnsper

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    Then it needs a lot more training
     
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  9. Mar 15, 2019 #1929

    SheepDog

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    The way I see it is that the owner needs a lot more training. The dog is fine.
     
  10. Mar 15, 2019 #1930

    The Lazy L

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    A total lack of situational awareness.
     
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  11. Mar 15, 2019 #1931

    SheepDog

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    Not only that but the dog views him as a lesser member instead of the alpha male.
    A dog needs a leader and if you don't provide that leadership he will take it.
    Pissing on you is a challenge of your authority and an exercise of the dogs supposed position.
    If you provide the leadership the dog would be peeing on the far side of the hydrant and not on your side or your leg.
     
  12. Mar 15, 2019 #1932

    JAC

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    math01.jpg
     
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  13. Mar 15, 2019 #1933

    JAC

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  14. Mar 15, 2019 #1934

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  15. Mar 15, 2019 #1935

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  16. Mar 16, 2019 #1936

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  17. Mar 16, 2019 #1937

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  18. Mar 16, 2019 #1938

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  19. Mar 16, 2019 #1939

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  20. Mar 17, 2019 #1940

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  21. Mar 18, 2019 at 7:28 AM #1941

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  22. Mar 18, 2019 at 6:45 PM #1942

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  23. Mar 18, 2019 at 10:04 PM #1943

    LadyLocust

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    Order of operations P, E, M, D, A, S
    104
     
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  24. Mar 19, 2019 at 8:31 AM #1944

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  25. Mar 19, 2019 at 9:07 AM #1945

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  26. Mar 20, 2019 at 9:22 AM #1946

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    FullSizeR.jpg
     
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  27. Mar 20, 2019 at 2:37 PM #1947

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  28. Mar 21, 2019 at 6:03 AM #1948

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  29. Mar 21, 2019 at 8:37 AM #1949

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  30. Mar 21, 2019 at 9:52 AM #1950

    The Innkeeper

    The Innkeeper

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    6C127101-1923-4A4E-A960-EC0789F16DCA.jpeg
     

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