The Proctologist & the psychiatrist
(A Proctologist, is a doctor who specializes in diseases of the anus, rectum & colon.)
Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share the costs of office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist, so they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors"
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids"
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
"Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.
Another attempt "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" was unacceptable again!
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts" - no way.
"Freaks and Cheeks" - still not good.
"Loons and Moons" - forget it.
Almost at their wits' end, the docs finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends"
Everyone loved it.
A police officer was patrolling late at night off the main highway. At nearly midnight, he saw a couple in a car in Lovers' Lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approached the car to get a closer look. Then he saw a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately noticed a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the officer walked to the car and gently rapped on the driver's window.
The young man lowered his window. "Uh, yes, officer?"
The cop asked, "What are you doing?"
The young man said, "Well, officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the officer asked, "And, her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugged, "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the cop was totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!
He asked, "What's your age, young man ?"
The young man said, "I'm 22, sir."
The cop asked, "And her, what's her age?"
The young man looked at his watch and replied, "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."