Jokes and Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by phideaux, Nov 25, 2017.

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  1. Sep 10, 2019 #1531

    phideaux

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  2. Sep 10, 2019 #1532

    The Innkeeper

    The Innkeeper

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  3. Sep 10, 2019 #1533

    Amish Heart

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    That and those starving children in China
     
  4. Sep 10, 2019 #1534

    backlash

    backlash

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    I told my Dad "then send this to some kid in china" one time. Just one time.:)
     
  5. Sep 10, 2019 #1535

    Amish Heart

    Amish Heart

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    I tried that, too, a number of times. Mom hardly ever cooked, but when she did, I was supposed to eat it. She was a non spanker. I was a fast runner. In my room I went. I'd keep snacks in there.
     
  6. Sep 10, 2019 #1536

    Sentry18

    Sentry18

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    66125771_2542737925758081_2506484322001747968_n.jpg
     
  7. Sep 10, 2019 #1537

    Fundy

    Fundy

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    20190904edptc-a.jpg
     
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  8. Sep 10, 2019 #1538

    Fundy

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    screen-shot-2019-08-30-at-2.22.18-pmwtmk.jpg
     
  9. Sep 10, 2019 #1539

    Fundy

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    FB_IMG_1567823906466.jpg
     
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  10. Sep 10, 2019 #1540

    Fundy

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    IDontCareHowGoodTheHandSoapSmells.PNG
     
  11. Sep 10, 2019 #1541

    Fundy

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    SchoolPlayground1900.jpg
     
  12. Sep 10, 2019 #1542

    Fundy

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    69361016_10156543376906497_5623821510138396672_o.jpg
     
  13. Sep 10, 2019 #1543

    Fundy

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    70390546_10219172569814585_8314571164772990976_o.jpg
     
  14. Sep 10, 2019 #1544

    Sentry18

    Sentry18

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    69886909_2952406274773959_1228038747447099392_n.jpg
     
  15. Sep 11, 2019 #1545

    zoomzoom

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    A man, 75-year-old Earl, walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The receptionist, an uptight lady, said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?”

    “There’s something wrong with my johnson,” he replied. Several people turned their heads to look at him, surprised.

    The receptionist, embarrassed at the situation, said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.”

    “Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” Earl said.

    The receptionist replied, “Now you have caused needless embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”

    The man replied, “You should not ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.” He then walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

    The receptionist smiled smugly. “Yes?”

    “There’s something wrong with my ear,” Earl stated loudly.

    The receptionist nodded approvingly, knowing he had taken her advice. “What is wrong with your ear, sir?”

    “I can’t piss out of it,” he replied.

    The waiting room erupted in laughter.
     
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  16. Sep 11, 2019 #1546

    phideaux

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  17. Sep 12, 2019 at 8:29 AM #1547

    Sentry18

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    890237516879548416.jpg
     
  18. Sep 12, 2019 at 9:14 AM #1548

    zoomzoom

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  19. Sep 12, 2019 at 9:18 AM #1549

    phideaux

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    Actually I walked around the block...

    69817707_2398858606866377_4023271702124298240_o.jpg

    Jim
     
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  20. Sep 12, 2019 at 4:28 PM #1550

    Haertig

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    If this is considered "cultural appropriation" ...

    one.jpg

    ... then I expect we'll be hearing from Norway about this one:

    two.jpg
     
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  21. Sep 12, 2019 at 5:31 PM #1551

    threetango

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  22. Sep 12, 2019 at 7:20 PM #1552

    phideaux

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  23. Sep 12, 2019 at 9:27 PM #1553

    phideaux

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  24. Sep 12, 2019 at 9:38 PM #1554

    Support Gunner

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  25. Sep 13, 2019 at 5:53 AM #1555

    zoomzoom

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  26. Sep 13, 2019 at 5:59 AM #1556

    zoomzoom

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  27. Sep 13, 2019 at 6:00 AM #1557

    zoomzoom

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    A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies.

    The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license.

    The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from West Virginia . This is a Kentucky duck. You got a Kentuckey huntin’ license, boy?” The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kentucky hunting license.

    The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Kentucky duck. This duck’s from Tennessee.
    You got an Tennessee license?” The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Tennessee license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said This ain’t no Tennessee duck. This here duck’s from Virginia. . You got a Virginia. huntin’ license?”

    Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia. hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly “Just where the hell are you from?

    “The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said “You tell me, you’re the expert!!”
     
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  28. Sep 13, 2019 at 9:41 AM #1558

    WVDragonlady

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  29. Sep 13, 2019 at 9:41 AM #1559

    zoomzoom

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  30. Sep 13, 2019 at 10:16 AM #1560

    Sentry18

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