Plans to make

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Swing

Porch Lover
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I am learning what I must do so my girls will not go through a bunch of manure and piles of paperwork when I get much older. Especially when you can't cook, hear good, see much, walk well, and you're home with hear okay, see wonky, has hallucinations and is use to being waited on.

Yep, folks are getting older. But, the education I've been getting for the last 8 years since they moved back, and the last 3 years since things have gotten really not working good for each of them, is remarkable.

They have no plans, Own their home and debts. Mom can still live at home with a little help, Dad is in nursing home, and now my 6 weeks to get some medicaid/ VA or miracle paperwork done to keep him there, is cut to 2 weeks.

in contrast:

Mom's mom had her stuff distributed starting about 81 (she lived to 95). Lived a bit with one child or another for a bit while she was able. Chose a time to go to an assisted living tower, that had a nursing home attached. And did the paperwork for all of that. When she passed it was within 2 weeks after a stroke. She had already paid for her cemetery lot (next to grandfather) in Pensacola across the street from Pensacola Bay. She had paid all the charges, ie: service, casket, etc. Had Mom or one of her sisters buy a lavender semi fancy soft nightgown to be buried in. The will done, and all the other paperwork, too. Her kids did not have to do more than carry out her plans.

I only tell you this for two examples of how we need to think of the impact of our planning for our end, and what it will do to our children and friends.

Are you planning well? Can you think about starting. I know I am (I don't want my girls to feel the way I do about folks having no planning).
 
I've done lots of thinking on this subject and have already ' kinda ' been where your at now only for not as long and only one parent.
So I'll do some thinking before I post my reply here.
 
Well, I thought I would start wearing diapers when I lose control of my functions and that should keep the manure piles where they belong and I will be buried in a shallow grave on the south 40 after any organs that can be are harvested. This earth has fed me for a lifetime and I feel I should give something back. My belongings will mostly go to my sons because my daughters have little use for them. I have put together a treasure map of where to find my precious metals and the winner gets half while the other half is equally distributed among the rest. One daughter will get $1 and a blessing for a happy life since she disowned me and wouldn't allow me to spend time with my grandkids on religion grounds.(I refused to convert to Calvinism) I love her very much and hope that she learns that family and love are part of religion and not dependent on it before her kids decide to change to other religions. Otherwise she is going to be a very bitter old lady and spend her last days alone. If my wife outlives me then she keeps the home and the estate is set up to pay the insurance and taxes. All she has to do is manage the monthly bills and live on the stipend that is set up for her. She would take ownership of the stocks and has first choice of my guns to keep. There is an account for maintenance of the home and appliances so she should be worry free. If she should remarry her new husband has to sign prenups that exclude him from any property, real or personal, that she has before the marriage.
If I survive my wife or when we are both dead the property remains as a family asset that cannot be distributed or sold. There is a fund set up for maintenance and to pay taxes and insurance and the fund will continue to grow with the years. Any personal property that I leave behind can be divided or sold and the monies distributed with the exception of one car that will go to Matt and the valve grinding machine that will go to Adam. Some of the books in my library are first editions by well known authors and will be worth a bit of money but most of the books are religious texts, science and math college texts and books related to construction, wiring and crafts for survival including gardening and preserving harvest. They have little market value but to anyone who wants to live on the family home will need them to learn the necessary skills to keep up the place. The other piece of property is a "vacation" home that is... rustic. It will also be part of the family owned property.
All things considered I am pretty well prepared to go on for a thousand years or so and then leave what is there for my decedents.
 
My mom was in a real mess last year, and husband and I bailed her out. She's doing ok now, but she's nearly 86..a cousin of ours just passed at 105. She's always been one whose possessions are really important to her. Lots of possessions. She's in a one bedroom apartment now and it is so filled up. I think it's best to go through things and have paperwork and accounts in order. I plan to try to make it as easy as possible for our kids in that respect.
 
I have the tendency to plan years ahead. The wife plans a few minutes ahead. Drives me nuts!

A few years back I asked her what was her plans for income when she retires? That's when I learned she had two credit cards maxed out and was working on a third! Her theroy is that since I earn the most I should pay all the bills so she doesn't "waste" her money?!?!?

When I retire I can take a reduced payment from the company pension so it will carry over to the wife on my death. Or I can take a higher payout and the pension ends on my death. I'm tempted to take the higher payout but then once the wife burns though my savings the children will be stuck with her bills.

After our children were grown and had moved out I suggested to the wife she get a job. I'm thinking 20 years down the road when she's retire she'll have some Social Security benefits. She decided to stay self employed (10 hours a week). Now is complaining about having to work to the day before her funeral to pay off her bills and not having any retirement income. I just don't understand women!

All of my personal retirement goals have been met. I have two retirement dates set. One date is when I will absolutely tell work "Good bye" and a closer date is a on a "day to day" basis, the Lord willing.
 
Oh, my folks are Mom 84 and Dad 87. I'm glad to see everyone getting some plans set up for their elder years. And the funniest thing out of all the above. I thought I was the worse off financially as since Divorce in 1984, things are almost always a bit tight = due to that and me not wanting to owe much of anything. I find I only owe on home and car and one very small credit card. Made me feel better and want to keep it that way.

Are you all checking on that aspect also. So, check your finances and check and see if elder parents have a large credit card balance.
 
We try not to charge but sometimes we have to. Something always happens to keep us in a little dept. Glad van didn't need expense I thought it did. :ghostly:
 
Had no idea this thread was about the same kind of stuff as a thread I posted yesterday. Although this one is focusing more on debt and wills, mine is more on the legal p.o.a. and living will stuff.
Still working on getting out of debt. I liked my plans on how we paid down better, and now things are changing. Yay.
 
I didn't think the kids or spouses were responsible for the decedent's bills (credit cards, etc)? When my DH died, I only had to proved the cc company with a death certificate; didn't have to pay that bill.
 

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