Thoughts On Aging ,Care Living Situations

[Meerkat]

I've been thinking alot about this for past couple years.
What to do when we can't do much anymore and where will the help we may need come from.

I thought of an old peoples community co-op or any alternative to nursing home or living with kids or family.
I even thought of old people commune type place to where we plant and raise our own food and care for each other as we age. But then what kind of people would that attract? How many chiefs and how many indians.
What do y'all think?

 

[Meerkat]

Why Communes May Be The New Retirement Home
Increasingly, boomers are cohabiting with friends in retirement.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/communes-may-be-the-new-retirement-home_n_55e47693e4b0b7a963399447


n fact, living with people with whom you are not related is five times as likely to happen now as it was in the 1950s, according to U.S. Census Bureau data. What’s more, DePaulo said, contemporary home-splitters are sharing a place with other people not because that’s what they’re stuck with, and not even (just) because it’s what they can afford. “Today, boomers who share a place with others do so because they want to,” she said.

 

[Meerkat]

People think they need a hospital type arrangement but that is not always true.

I know mama passed in our den right off the living room. She would not stay even a night in hospital.
Hospital bed, oxygen tank etc kept her just as comfortable as any hospital. She didn't even like the way pain meds made her feel so seldom took them.
Same thing could be set up in one of these type places. A little place off to the side fro end times. And people taking turns caring for those in need till its their turn to be taken care of.

 

[Meerkat]

IMO these are good examples of bad ideas. Reminds me of an old Dr Hook song. But so does most of society today so good for them, just not my cup of ' tea '.
Sparkling arnachist people need love too,

Ones in Jesup Ga. 25.00 mins

 

[Amish Heart]

I like the way our relatives do it. Build a smaller house next to the big house. Have a grown child and family move into the big house, help with your care in the little house. If you don't have kids or a big house, then you move to the Mennonite Manor.

 

[camo2460]

An Old Folks Commune, a place where Old Folks who need care, take care of other Old Folks who need care. Sounds like a plan to me.

 

[Meerkat]

I like the way our relatives do it. Build a smaller house next to the big house. Have a grown child and family move into the big house, help with your care in the little house. If you don't have kids or a big house, then you move to the Mennonite Manor.

I was thinking it is kinda like a Amish Community. Only maybe in most ways saner.

An Old Folks Commune, a place where Old Folks who need care, take care of other Old Folks who need care. Sounds like a plan to me.

that struck me as funny. But of course some old people are still able to do lots of things while others progressively get down and disabled.
I'm still able to do lots of things and hubby can still do things too.
But all kidding aside I realize its a bad idea.

 

[Meerkat]

I was reading about a couple who can no longer keep up their home.
One wants apt other wants mobile home. Apt rent goes up as does lot rent. Mobile home is close to hospitals,stores and apt is in high traffic area and hour from dr. hospitals and stores.
America is changing and its changing fast! N-hoods that use to be nice safe places are becoming violent and dangerous. Dems look for these kinds of places to send in low income to make it more diverse. And thugs and gangs start setting up business. So we are running out of places to run to.

So it is something we need to think about after 50 or 60.

 

[Sourdough]

I have used this forum for several years. I started looking for options for property transfer on death verses sale and retain a life estate, and found there is a lot of good info there.

https://www.agingcare.com/?utm_sour...HSmVsbVFqTGNrQnpuR2VQdVdkZXIrWGlZRDVablFYSCJ9

 

[Meerkat]

I have used this forum for several years. I started looking for options for property transfer on death verses sale and retain a life estate, and found there is a lot of good info there.

https://www.agingcare.com/?utm_sour...HSmVsbVFqTGNrQnpuR2VQdVdkZXIrWGlZRDVablFYSCJ9

V.Prepper , about the one that hire home help.it has its problems too. Low wage for one thing which draws some questionable people. I won't name any names but one group who visit homes has had some real pieces of work. Steal property and prescription drugs, bring their kids with them to work or case the place to send someone later to rob.
Of course not all of them do this but it is a problem.

 

[Sourdough]

Well That site has thousands of questions and answers, about all things reference being old. Especially tax ramifications of property sale or "Look-Back" clause on transfers. I own an expensive Alaska homestead, on which I pay no real estate property tax. So I was looking for a "Legal" method, of transferring the property, while keeping the tax exemption status.

I am moving to the "Mustang Ranch" assisted housing complex for silly old males with excess cash to burn.

 

[Meerkat]

Well That site has thousands of questions and answers, about all things reference being old. Especially tax ramifications of property sale or transfer. I am moving to the "Mustang Ranch" assisted housing complex for silly old males with excess cash to burn.

Sorry but your right it does and I took off with negative. Thank you for the site and info V.Prepper.

 

[SheepDog]

Well That site has thousands of questions and answers, about all things reference being old. Especially tax ramifications of property sale or "Look-Back" clause on transfers. I own an expensive Alaska homestead, on which I pay no real estate property tax. So I was looking for a "Legal" method, of transferring the property, while keeping the tax exemption status.

I am moving to the "Mustang Ranch" assisted housing complex for silly old males with excess cash to burn.

I wonder if they have reduced rates for "long term" stays. Just an hour of "assisted living" can cost over $250.00. At that rate it will cost you $42000.00 per week. Lots of luck with that...

 

[Meerkat]

I'd stay in a nice assisted living place like V>jokey is moving to but we can't afford one of those not even a nice nursing home much less assisted living.
Anyway just thinking out loud here. We can go to one of the kids if we have to,but I don't want to be around my kids who will have control or burden inlaws. Son in law said yall will stay right back there when you need to. But not sure yet. I'd rather have own place.

 

[backlash]

I remember a story about a woman from England that found it was cheaper for her to cruise on the Queen Elizabeth 2 than rent an apartment in London.

 

[Meerkat]

I remember a story about a woman from England that found it was cheaper for her to cruise on the Queen Elizabeth 2 than rent an apartment in London.

That is so true. Of course if its the same one I watched she was rich but had a point about the cost a year to live in moderate safety.
Living in a nice place is one thing but income determines that. I'm all for capitalism long as laws are put in place to keep us all safe. Poor should never equal abuse. Forget the bells and whistles just don't hire phychopaths to work for you either while you cash in on subsidies.

 

[Caribou]

Friends of mine dropped over for a visit. They were talking about getting three retired couples to buy a 4-plex. Give free rent to a young couple to take care of us. I think there would be a lot to work out but it would be doable.

 

[Grizzleyette___Adams]

Friends of mine dropped over for a visit. They were talking about getting three retired couples to buy a 4-plex. Give free rent to a young couple to take care of us. I think there would be a lot to work out but it would be doable.

That might work if they paid a salary in addition to free rent. Taking care of older folks is definitely work, and help is often needed during the night, weekends, holidays, etc.

I suspect that free rent is not enough to entice decent help.

.

 

[Caribou]

You're probably right. There may also have to be room for two care giver families so as to give each a respite or you would have burnout and no coverage for turnover.

 

[Meerkat]

Friends of mine dropped over for a visit. They were talking about getting three retired couples to buy a 4-plex. Give free rent to a young couple to take care of us. I think there would be a lot to work out but it would be doable.

That sounds like a good idea Car.

 

[Meerkat]

That might work if they paid a salary in addition to free rent. Taking care of older folks is definitely work, and help is often needed during the night, weekends, holidays, etc.

I suspect that free rent is not enough to entice decent help.

.

Good point.

You're probably right. There may also have to be room for two care giver families so as to give each a respite or you would have burnout and no coverage for turnover.

I agree. Maybe give them certain hours to work too after that overtime pay. If all put in to help pay decent salary and time off it may help. It would have to be run like a business.

 

[backlash]

Friends of mine dropped over for a visit. They were talking about getting three retired couples to buy a 4-plex. Give free rent to a young couple to take care of us. I think there would be a lot to work out but it would be doable.

Free rent would not be enough. They would have to make a living wage on top of free rent.
I have seen first hand the amount of work to care for 1 person full time. There is no way I see it working out. If it was the other way around, 3 young couples taking care of 1 old couple, it might work, but who has enough money to do that.
My daughter takes care of my wife's sister and BIL. She is a nurse and it is a very hard job and takes a very dedicated and loving person to be good at it.
My Mom had several caretakers and they all started off motivated and caring. After a few months it started to take a toll on them and Mom. A big problem is people, especially older people, get set in their ways and get irritated when things are not done the way they want and conflicts are inevitable.
I have no idea what I will do when my time comes but I can't see having to rely on strangers to exist. People live longer now and that may not be a blessing.

 

[SheepDog]

Your biggest problem is going to be finding the people who will take care of older couples at all much less the pay and free rent.
I think we need to reestablish slavery. They take care of you and get room and board. If they don't take care of you they get chained and whipped!
That will never work, too many like the chains and whipping today.

 

[Meerkat]

Your biggest problem is going to be finding the people who will take care of older couples at all much less the pay and free rent.
I think we need to reestablish slavery. They take care of you and get room and board. If they don't take care of you they get chained and whipped!
That will never work, too many like the chains and whipping today.

,

So many restrictions and zoning regulations on multi dwelling type places unless you have a politician in your pocket. Then you could buy a place.Kinda like a time share only you stay put.
They passed that legal medical marijuana law down here. Catch is you have to have 25 million bucks to apply and grow it. I don't smoke the stuff never did but that is illegal to have that kind of bias laws.

 

[lonewolf]

we have retirement homes over here and we have care villages.
not for me, I think i'd go crazy in a place like that.
I've told the wife when I get too bad to put me in the car take me out onto the moors and leave me there, she can come back in a couple of weeks and collect the body.

 

[Meerkat]

Yo

we have retirement homes over here and we have care villages.
not for me, I think i'd go crazy in a place like that.
I've told the wife when I get too bad to put me in the car take me out onto the moors and leave me there, she can come back in a couple of weeks and collect the body.

haha.

 

[Meerkat]

@phideaux. @Bacpacker . @VThillman

I noticed this subject has come back up a few times lately, so figured we can continue it here since we already have some info on ageing and retireing here.

Hubby and I have been talking about it more and more every year especially since my helth issues this past year.
Not just for us oler peopel either many of those who are still just a little above middle aged need to plan so it doesen't sneak up on you like it did us.

 

[Meerkat]

We are fairly close to doctors,hospitals which can be a good thing long as you are " heavily" involved in your care and keep as big a watch on them as they do you.
d but that too has some big issues in itself.
Question is are they bigger than being on somebody elses turf? We honestly don't know thats why we are still talking instead of doing.

Hard now too is the violence out there in what use to be safe cities and who will be 'm thinking maybe ' share the land' taking care aka contol of you in care facilities.Still all in debate.

 

[Haertig]

My mom is in a retirement community, a very nice one. They have three buildings of Independent Living, two of Assisted Living, one of Memory Care (Alzheimers, etc.), and one for Rehab (a temporary place that covers normal rehab after surgeries, etc., and also permanent "nursing home" type care). Now that she is in Memory Care, the definition of "nice" changes a little bit. It is about as nice as it can be for a place where you are locked in, but honestly, nobody really wants to live in a Memory Care facility. Declining due to dementia is not the way anyone plans, or wants to end their life. I have no experience with the Assisted Living or Rehab buildings other than guided tours to see what they are like - my mom went straight from Independent Living to Memory Care. While in Independent Living they had fantastic food. Excellent chefs. Menus that rivaled the finest restaurants. Beautiful decor. Lots of activities - ranging from in house concerts, games, parties, etc. to international travel. They would go on Christmas shopping trips to Europe. Cruise ships. Trips all over the US. On all trips they are waited on hand and foot. A lot of that came to a screeching halt with coronavirus however. They do nice day and simple overnight excursions from Memory Care as well, but since mom moved there in the middle of coronavirus they have had those on hold.

Such living accommodations don't come cheap. But if you saved yourself a nestegg, in your elderly years is when you are supposed to be spending it.

 

[UrbanHunter]

I watched my grandparents take care of their parents, it worked for quite a while. The other set of grandparents lived next door to their parents, that also worked. What I noticed is that as the "older" folks got really old, they got "difficult" and were constantly stirring the pot creating all sorts of family strife. My grandparents added my mom and uncle's name to their house deed. But as things go Mom died first, then the grandparents, so the even split turned into a winner take all and no one talking anymore. I guess there is no perfect solution, everyone is different. We just have to make the best arrangements possible with the knowledge we have and pray we don't get taken to the cleaners along the way.