Thoughts On Aging ,Care Living Situations

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I hope you can take the opportunity to speak to your parents and perhaps inlaws about this. I have been extrememly fortunate that all of our family (inlaws too) do not mind talking about this kind of stuff and they have all made their 'end of life' plans. My mom has paid for her plots, her urns, her cremation, and has even gotten her stone carved....it's just waiting for an end date. In all honesty, it's a bit morbid, but I enthusiastically thanked her and gave her a big hug for getting all those plans done. I have wills, POA's (both medical and financial) and other documents for my parents and inlaws in the safe ready to roll. I am currently working on getting my Lady Bird Deed finalized for my kids so that they don't have to worry about probate when we pass. The property and everything that is on the property will go straight to them and they even get the benefit of a step up cost basis so that if they decided to sell (which I hope they don't) they would not have to pay capital gains tax.

I know some folks that have had to deal with the mess left by their parents. Most of the time it is unnecessary. A little pre-planning could have saved a whole lot of heartache. In addition to dealing with the emotional loss of a family members, they also had to deal with the finances and clean up of everything, including going thru probate. It truly is a gift when someone understands what a horrible time this can be, and makes sure their ducks are in a row upon their death.

As far as long term care......I have some more investigating to do. During our working years, we made sure we had disability insurance should something happen to us, so that we could continue to pay the bills. Now that we're semi-retired, it's probably time to give some more thought and planning to LTC.


Hubby parents did the same thing which I'm sure it was his mother she was the big planner and practical one.
She too even had inscriptions on both their head stones. But they both stayed in their modest home on 10 acreas last 40 yr.s and never had any outside help.He passed 18 years before her. She had sudden case of toxic live from medication poisoning was her cause of death at 86. She was only sick about a week,thank God.
She had a great young couplw who lived behind them who watched over her since her hubbys passing. Still drove herself 30 miles to doctor ,grocery PO.
I learned alot from her and loved her.
 
Well Badge glad you enjoy it. And can read and understand it without prejudice. I kid about your generation but also place most of the blame on mine. None of us are perfect and this song kinda tells it like it is for me.:thumbs:


Hahaha it's all good. I like old rock much better than 99% of the junk put out these days. Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were never on my songs list.
I hope you can take the opportunity to speak to your parents and perhaps inlaws about this. I have been extrememly fortunate that all of our family (inlaws too) do not mind talking about this kind of stuff and they have all made their 'end of life' plans. My mom has paid for her plots, her urns, her cremation, and has even gotten her stone carved....it's just waiting for an end date. In all honesty, it's a bit morbid, but I enthusiastically thanked her and gave her a big hug for getting all those plans done. I have wills, POA's (both medical and financial) and other documents for my parents and inlaws in the safe ready to roll. I am currently working on getting my Lady Bird Deed finalized for my kids so that they don't have to worry about probate when we pass. The property and everything that is on the property will go straight to them and they even get the benefit of a step up cost basis so that if they decided to sell (which I hope they don't) they would not have to pay capital gains tax.

I know some folks that have had to deal with the mess left by their parents. Most of the time it is unnecessary. A little pre-planning could have saved a whole lot of heartache. In addition to dealing with the emotional loss of a family members, they also had to deal with the finances and clean up of everything, including going thru probate. It truly is a gift when someone understands what a horrible time this can be, and makes sure their ducks are in a row upon their death.

As far as long term care......I have some more investigating to do. During our working years, we made sure we had disability insurance should something happen to us, so that we could continue to pay the bills. Now that we're semi-retired, it's probably time to give some more thought and planning to LTC.
Thanks yeah my mom was thinking of doing a will and started explaining what she wants. I told her please get it in writing so at the end my memory isn't wrong and so no one could say I made it up. I need to check with my father though good point! I'm planning on donating my body to science. (or the military I guess)
I may never see any part of the Nevada desert but after I die there may be bits of me all over it.:blow up: Hahaha.
 
We are dealing with my brother right now. His personality has changed in less than a month. He has gone from a happy easy-going guy to a real pain. The worst part is he needs constant help with most everything and we are not equipped to deal with it. We have an evaluation tomorrow with a physical therapist and an occupational therapist so hopefully, we can get what we need like something to help get him off the floor when he falls, a hospital bed, more grab bars, and a wheelchair.
It's like taking care of a 250-pound baby.
I guess what I'm trying to say is nobody knows what the futrure holds and being ready for lifes changes is a challenge.
 
Thanks yeah my mom was thinking of doing a will and started explaining what she wants. I told her please get it in writing so at the end my memory isn't wrong and so no one could say I made it up. I need to check with my father though good point! I'm planning on donating my body to science. (or the military I guess)

Do you have a will? If not, it's really easy to do yourself, depending upon which state you are in. Most can be done by a simple template you can find online or in a cheap Suze Orman kit. Fill it out, and go to the local bank and have it notarized. Done!

When I had the talk with MIL, I wrote notes while sitting there talking to her. She does not want a funeral in a funeral home. She agreed to a small informal ceremony at her home and wants her ashes to be scattered in the back field. She does not want any morbid funeral music either.

I don't want a funeral in a typical funeral home either. The drab curtains with the washed out cushion chairs are enough to make me wanna barf. Funeral homes are anything BUT calming and comforting. I just loathe them. I told hubs (and have in my will) that there will be NO service at a funeral home and no morbid music. If they want to have a gathering at our home or at a local hall, they can do that. However, they will have MY kind of music playing and an open bar, which there will be funds set aside for. The dress code will be whatever you'd wear to the local tavern on a Friday night.
Cheers! drink buddy
 
You might as well get it all backlash, because you'll need to use it someday. People can get real grumpy if they become immobile, and being that way is very bad for mental health. I think mental and physical health go hand in hand. Except for mom. She just enjoys being in a bad mood and griping. I got her yesterday, though, had flowers delivered to her apartment. That made her smile.
 
Do you have a will? If not, it's really easy to do yourself, depending upon which state you are in. Most can be done by a simple template you can find online or in a cheap Suze Orman kit. Fill it out, and go to the local bank and have it notarized. Done!

When I had the talk with MIL, I wrote notes while sitting there talking to her. She does not want a funeral in a funeral home. She agreed to a small informal ceremony at her home and wants her ashes to be scattered in the back field. She does not want any morbid funeral music either.

I don't want a funeral in a typical funeral home either. The drab curtains with the washed out cushion chairs are enough to make me wanna barf. Funeral homes are anything BUT calming and comforting. I just loathe them. I told hubs (and have in my will) that there will be NO service at a funeral home and no morbid music. If they want to have a gathering at our home or at a local hall, they can do that. However, they will have MY kind of music playing and an open bar, which there will be funds set aside for. The dress code will be whatever you'd wear to the local tavern on a Friday night.
Cheers! drink buddy
No I don't have a will but am considering it. It's not that I think I will live for many more years it's that it's not set in stone. Although I'm in good standings with family I know that there is ways to not follow the will if they choose. Being that I don't have much money or property there probably is even less chance of fighting but still.

Dang right! My dad said what if someone wants to see you after you die for closure (the scientist place scoops me up in about an hour) I said there will probably be an hour if they feel the need they can but otherwise say it while I'm alive. My family all lives close by so if they want they could see me but I'm already long gone.

I think I'm the odd ball but I always feel uneasy and uncomfortable at funerals. The person always looks different than my memory and I feel obligated to go by the casket in line. Or stay there if it's close family. I love to hunt, skin, tan but humans are totally different. I visit them in the hospital and say anything I need to say but I get nothing from a funeral.

So....for when i die no one has to feel like me. No feeling obligated to come or leave money as you walk in. I'm whisked away and in under 2 months my ashes are mailed back where i will be buried under an existing tree where i hunt. My ashes will hopefully help the tree grow providing habitat for the creatures I've hunted.
Full circle.
A body farm would be my 1st choice but they want $450 to be able to use me to advance science and cremation. You get my body to use why can't the expensive cost your students pay cover my cremation!?!
This probably isn't the common feeling toward death though.
Sorry for the rant and thanks if it's free I'll probably make a will I thought you needed a lawyer.
 
Sorry for the rant and thanks if it's free I'll probably make a will I thought you needed a lawyer.
If you are unmarried without children, you need a will more than anyone.
Final arrangements don't need to be in a will as long as the person who will be taking care of it knows what you want. Nobody fights over that.
Personal property, real estate property, and anything with a title, needs to be in writing on a notarized document. And they are right, you don't need a lawyer, just a notary.
If you have no legal heir(s), all of the above will become owned by the state, if it is not in writing.
Just telling your best friend verbally that he can have your truck if anything happens to you, will not work to get the title transferred.
So many people have a totally wrong idea of what actually happens when someone passes.
brickwall100.gif

Edit: I forgot to add in: 401K accounts, retirement pensions, and shares of stock you may own.
They all become a big gift to the state.:mad:
 
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No I don't have a will but am considering it. It's not that I think I will live for many more years it's that it's not set in stone.

I think I'm the odd ball but I always feel uneasy and uncomfortable at funerals. The person always looks different than my memory and I feel obligated to go by the casket in line. Or stay there if it's close family. I love to hunt, skin, tan but humans are totally different. I visit them in the hospital and say anything I need to say but I get nothing from a funeral.

This probably isn't the common feeling toward death though.

Sorry for the rant and thanks if it's free I'll probably make a will I thought you needed a lawyer.
Type in "will kit" into ebay. You'll find kits for $10 or less. Having something is better than nothing, no matter what you have. Plus, it forces you to think ahead, which is never a bad idea.....even if it's a bit morbid. But, at your age, it's just as important (if not more-so) to have a named Power of Attorney for Healthcare and a POA for finances if you become incompacitated. Both of those documents come with the Suze Orman kit, but they can also be obtained online as well. In addition, an advanced directive can be obtained online or at your local hospital. An advanced directive tells medical professionals what your wishes are if you don't want to be on a vent or feeding tube or a DNR. At your age, your POA will likely make those decisions, but putting your wishes down on paper will help them with their decisions.

You are not an odd ball at all. As far as I'm concerned, if there was anything good that came of this whole plandemic, it was the halt of funerals. I'm glad not to feel guilty for not attending. I've avoided two of them. Nobody likes going to a funeral....and to pay the funeral homes hundreds or thousands of dollars for hosting a final goodbye without good music or drinks just seems ridiculous. I say....screw that.....if I'm paying hundreds for a party, it's at least going to be fun, and not something that people feel obligated to go to.

If you have no legal heir(s), all of the above will become owned by the state, if it is not in writing.
Just telling your best friend verbally that he can have your truck if anything happens to you, will not work to get the title transferred.
Edit: I forgot to add in: 401K accounts, retirement pensions, and shares of stock you may own.
They all become a big gift to the state.:mad:
I'm not so sure about that.......
I just spoke with a lawyer about this a couple of weeks ago and that is not what he said. A will is basically just a catch all in case something falls thru the cracks. He said the secretary of state has their own line of succession they go by....starting with the spouse, children, etc on titled vehicles. However, it's always best to put those assets in a will so the proper person is awarded titled property. Retirement accounts, bank accounts, investment accounts, etc. always have a beneficiary listed as part of the paperwork you filled out when starting the account. No matter what your will says, those funds will go to the beneficiary you have listed on your accounts.......even if it is the X-wife you listed 30 years ago. So, if you have been married, re-married, etc. you always want to update all of your beneficiaries on ALL of your accounts.
 
No I don't have a will but am considering it. It's not that I think I will live for many more years it's that it's not set in stone. Although I'm in good standings with family I know that there is ways to not follow the will if they choose. Being that I don't have much money or property there probably is even less chance of fighting but still.

Dang right! My dad said what if someone wants to see you after you die for closure (the scientist place scoops me up in about an hour) I said there will probably be an hour if they feel the need they can but otherwise say it while I'm alive. My family all lives close by so if they want they could see me but I'm already long gone.

I think I'm the odd ball but I always feel uneasy and uncomfortable at funerals. The person always looks different than my memory and I feel obligated to go by the casket in line. Or stay there if it's close family. I love to hunt, skin, tan but humans are totally different. I visit them in the hospital and say anything I need to say but I get nothing from a funeral.

So....for when i die no one has to feel like me. No feeling obligated to come or leave money as you walk in. I'm whisked away and in under 2 months my ashes are mailed back where i will be buried under an existing tree where i hunt. My ashes will hopefully help the tree grow providing habitat for the creatures I've hunted.
Full circle.
A body farm would be my 1st choice but they want $450 to be able to use me to advance science and cremation. You get my body to use why can't the expensive cost your students pay cover my cremation!?!
This probably isn't the common feeling toward death though.
Sorry for the rant and thanks if it's free I'll probably make a will I thought you needed a lawyer.

Badge maybe try to find a place to hide for awhile with a samll group of some like minded people. Your still too young. I tell my kids and grand kids same thing they aren't worried but it could be a second option to keep in mind.:dunno:
 
I was always took to funeral home growing up, and twice at my grandma's house when my dad was brought back from Vietnam and 2 months later when she died. I still don't care for it, but I look at it as a show of respect for the one who died and for their family.
Wife and I just plan to have a graveside when we are buried.
 
Hubby and I need to think more about plans for later on too. We're just too busy to deal with it.A little bit of insurence we have will maybe pay for our burial.
 
I was always took to funeral home growing up, and twice at my grandma's house when my dad was brought back from Vietnam and 2 months later when she died. I still don't care for it, but I look at it as a show of respect for the one who died and for their family.
Wife and I just plan to have a graveside when we are buried.
Exactly and I understand it's for supporting the family and to show respect. I also understand some get closure from it.
Badge maybe try to find a place to hide for awhile with a samll group of some like minded people. Your still too young. I tell my kids and grand kids same thing they aren't worried but it could be a second option to keep in mind.:dunno:
No eventually I definitely will make a will. I do need to make a second option since the science place won't accept me if I'm too far destroyed (major car crash, burnt, ect) that's why I'll have to figure out how to set up to be cremated at a place. Can't be too much work to set up but add to my will.
Hubby and I need to think more about plans for later on too. We're just too busy to deal with it.A little bit of insurence we have will maybe pay for our burial.
I understand that totally. I guess then besides the financing they will know exactly what you want or don't want. Like my mom specifically said she doesn't want to be cremated in a casket. (They will but then you pay for the casket too)
Again I can't talk being in the same boat ;D.
 
Update to my post on this subject(post 55). My father passed away at home on Dec. 12th. He was totally an invalid the last few weeks of his life. I finally called hospice in on the advice of his doctor. Thank God for those angels. They took over his care except for his meds, which he refused to take as well as refusing to eat. My sister didn't come to the funeral and my brother made it up, but I believe it was just to see what he was going to get. He did stick around for the funeral. My father only had 1 sibling left out of 6 and he was too sick to make it. My father had outlived 3 wives, all but 1 sibling, most cousins, everyone he ever worked with or for and all his friends. He was laid to rest at a national cemetery with military honors. Now I have to do and in the process of taking care of everything. He does have a will but it's just a normal simple one. This has made me and my wife reevaluate our wills and have them updated when I can move back home. Please folks make SURE everything is taken care of. My dad had very good insurance and I haven't seen a bill for anything yet. He was a coal miner for 31 years and his insurance through them has taken care care of it so far. Don't leave a mess for your loved ones. My father put things where HE could find them and rarely told anyone where they were. Anyway, sorry for the long post. At least I knew where the will was. Take care everyone and I'll jump back on here time to time.
 
Update to my post on this subject(post 55). My father passed away at home on Dec. 12th. He was totally an invalid the last few weeks of his life. I finally called hospice in on the advice of his doctor. Thank God for those angels. They took over his care except for his meds, which he refused to take as well as refusing to eat. My sister didn't come to the funeral and my brother made it up, but I believe it was just to see what he was going to get. He did stick around for the funeral. My father only had 1 sibling left out of 6 and he was too sick to make it. My father had outlived 3 wives, all but 1 sibling, most cousins, everyone he ever worked with or for and all his friends. He was laid to rest at a national cemetery with military honors. Now I have to do and in the process of taking care of everything. He does have a will but it's just a normal simple one. This has made me and my wife reevaluate our wills and have them updated when I can move back home. Please folks make SURE everything is taken care of. My dad had very good insurance and I haven't seen a bill for anything yet. He was a coal miner for 31 years and his insurance through them has taken care care of it so far. Don't leave a mess for your loved ones. My father put things where HE could find them and rarely told anyone where they were. Anyway, sorry for the long post. At least I knew where the will was. Take care everyone and I'll jump back on here time to time.
I am sorry for your loss.
My parents had everything arranged and paid for before they passed. It was a blessing for my brothers and me.
 
Update to my post on this subject(post 55). My father passed away at home on Dec. 12th. He was totally an invalid the last few weeks of his life. I finally called hospice in on the advice of his doctor. Thank God for those angels. They took over his care except for his meds, which he refused to take as well as refusing to eat. My sister didn't come to the funeral and my brother made it up, but I believe it was just to see what he was going to get. He did stick around for the funeral. My father only had 1 sibling left out of 6 and he was too sick to make it. My father had outlived 3 wives, all but 1 sibling, most cousins, everyone he ever worked with or for and all his friends. He was laid to rest at a national cemetery with military honors. Now I have to do and in the process of taking care of everything. He does have a will but it's just a normal simple one. This has made me and my wife reevaluate our wills and have them updated when I can move back home. Please folks make SURE everything is taken care of. My dad had very good insurance and I haven't seen a bill for anything yet. He was a coal miner for 31 years and his insurance through them has taken care care of it so far. Don't leave a mess for your loved ones. My father put things where HE could find them and rarely told anyone where they were. Anyway, sorry for the long post. At least I knew where the will was. Take care everyone and I'll jump back on here time to time.

Sorry to hear about your dad. My prayers are with you
 
You nailed it in that post.
Tell them about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
That huge fortune that the person that takes care of you will inherit when you finally depart.
(This can be an exaggeration or untrue, but you won't be here anyway when they find out)
Trust me, you will have somebody to take care of you.
For the younger people still working: Start building your retirement-income producing 'machine' as soon as you can. You have to do this before you get too old to work or farm.
With compounding, the bigger it gets, the faster it gets bigger. Oh, and everybody starts with $0, so it is not hopeless. Doing nothing is the only way to guarantee that you will have nothing.
On topic: When you reach your 'golden years', not living in the projects on government assistance makes a huge difference in quality-of-life.

Or somebody to check you out early for that early" pot of gold".

Since I put this thread up the world has gotten even worse and we are Covid isolated.
And Biden Harris dominated.We're now in a whole other pickle.:eyeballs:.
 
Or somebody to check you out early for that early" pot of gold".

Since I put this thread up the world has gotten even worse and we are Covid isolated.
And Biden Harris dominated.We're now in a whole other pickle.:eyeballs:.

drink more beer/whiskey/water,read scripture and garden harder !!
 
I put this thread up Jan.7th,2019 and ironic Sept.26th,2019 I had a stroke and lost part of my vision,then Feb of 2020 heart surgery.
See how fast the crapola can hit the fan!

I'm still concerned about whats next and what to do.
 
I put this thread up Jan.7th,2019 and ironic Sept.26th,2019 I had a stroke and lost part of my vision,then Feb of 2020 heart surgery.
See how fast the crapola can hit the fan!

I'm still concerned about whats next and what to do.

pray often and ask the father to heal you !
 
pray often and ask the father to heal you !

I ask for His will and forgiveness everyday.Also do you remember the prayer we use to say as kids,well I still say ' now I lay me down to sleep,I pray the Lord my soul to keep,if I shall die before I wake,I pray the Lord my soul to take'.
 
I ask for His will and forgiveness everyday.Also do you remember the prayer we use to say as kids,well I still say ' now I lay me down to sleep,I pray the Lord my soul to keep,if I shall die before I wake,I pray the Lord my soul to take'.
not a thing wrong with that at all. may YHWH/god heal you and protect you till he wants you back home ! Yeshua/jesus said to be child like...Matthew 18.2-4


Matthew 18:2-4 King James Version (KJV)
2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
 

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