Thoughts On Aging ,Care Living Situations

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Why Communes May Be The New Retirement Home
Increasingly, boomers are cohabiting with friends in retirement.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/communes-may-be-the-new-retirement-home_n_55e47693e4b0b7a963399447


n fact, living with people with whom you are not related is five times as likely to happen now as it was in the 1950s, according to U.S. Census Bureau data. What’s more, DePaulo said, contemporary home-splitters are sharing a place with other people not because that’s what they’re stuck with, and not even (just) because it’s what they can afford. “Today, boomers who share a place with others do so because they want to,” she said.
 
Both of my parents passed way before anything like senior living had to be considered.
I worry about my eldest brother and sister, single and no children. Sis thinks I'll be able to live with my children as I age.

I still wonder what we will do, One daughter soesn't talk about that to us or much of anything lese for that matter, other daughter and son say we will live with them, but we don't want to do that either. Son is never home and daughter works all the time plus real involved with her family. Both have grown kids with kids,son has 8 grandkids..
 
Communes didn't work very well. Only a few people would get off their butts and do the actual work. They attracted alot of bums. I think people get resentful when the hard stuff isn't evened out. Alot of people think the Amish live in communes, but they don't, they live in communities, and help each other in their community. But at the end of the day, it's about ones own family. I do know the hutterites live in communes and seem to make it work, but their religion dictates it.
 
Communes didn't work very well. Only a few people would get off their butts and do the actual work. They attracted alot of bums. I think people get resentful when the hard stuff isn't evened out. Alot of people think the Amish live in communes, but they don't, they live in communities, and help each other in their community. But at the end of the day, it's about ones own family. I do know the hutterites live in communes and seem to make it work, but their religion dictates it.

I agree.
 
Communes didn't work very well. Only a few people would get off their butts and do the actual work. They attracted alot of bums.
I saw a couple of communes back in the early 70's and you are correct.
"We all just want to be FREE!!!" :peace:
flower70.gif

The commune is good in theory but it doesn't work.
Everybody just sat around, got stoned, had sex, and waited for someone to work to benefit them.
Basically, sidewalk homeless people with free housing.
The wonderful 'pipe-dreams' they had while passing around the peace-pipe never happened.
A good example of socialism when nobody wants to contribute.
 
I saw a couple of communes back in the early 70's and you are correct.
"We all just want to be FREE!!!" :peace: View attachment 50660
The commune is good in theory but it doesn't work.
Everybody just sat around, got stoned, had sex, and waited for someone to work to benefit them.
Basically, sidewalk homeless people with free housing.
The wonderful 'pipe-dreams' they had while passing around the peace-pipe never happened.
A good example of socialism when nobody wants to contribute.

I think your right, only today they would be on the web or cell.
 
@Sourdough
Maybe this will help you or at least inform on some of the problems we have in living situations as we are aging . How many neighbors do you hve if any up there on that mountain? How close and maybe check on training a seeing eye dog? Not a big one they don't live long but of course big enough.:dunno:just a thought.

I did talk to a nieghbor last week about what types of meds and supplies we may need now in case can't get to hospital or doctor.
We found we need an oxigen monitor, and I need to buy another BP monitor mine is old and about to fall apart.

We do have two nurses but they are like their hubbys kinda standoffish. Always nice but to themselves. We have a little church less than a mile but not members and don't go to church . But can if we want to.
 
I saw a couple of communes back in the early 70's and you are correct.
"We all just want to be FREE!!!" :peace: View attachment 50660
The commune is good in theory but it doesn't work.
Everybody just sat around, got stoned, had sex, and waited for someone to work to benefit them.
Basically, sidewalk homeless people with free housing.
The wonderful 'pipe-dreams' they had while passing around the peace-pipe never happened.
A good example of socialism when nobody wants to contribute.

If you want to get techicle about it ,all assited living places are ' communes':Dthey just don't have as many chiefs as they do indians. And nursing homes can knock your butt out with meds or zombefy you of you get out of line.
So there is no perfect place for us old throwaways. Most people today are rasing graandkids or working on their next mansion or Lexus.and prefer changing their grankids diapers to changing ours.:D. Or too old and unable to care for their parents. And forget those self absorbed millinial grandkids helping out,:LOL:.
 
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Friends of mine dropped over for a visit. They were talking about getting three retired couples to buy a 4-plex. Give free rent to a young couple to take care of us. I think there would be a lot to work out but it would be doable.

This could be doable with the right people and all agreed in writing.Putt an ad in the paper looking fro these kind of people.
 
As I get older I just hope I can avoid any stupid mistakes (doing the ice driveway slide) that take away my mobility. I remember my grandparents took care of their grandparents for a long time. My parents died early so I didn't have to do that, but my kids didn't know them either. So far I don't see anyone who would want to take care of a crazy old _art like me.
But with the economy going the direction it is, I wonder it there may be a lot of people who want to live off someone else’s fixed income before long. Just saying that there are times when a roof and 3 meals can look pretty good. As for the millennials, hey going hungry for a few months can really grow people up, especially if they can't afford their cell phone:eek:
 
I do kid about the youth but in reality they do pretty good with what us boomers left to to work with. One of my grandsons works 2 jobs for years now to care for his family, of course he married a girl with two kids and now they have 5. All but 2 of the 13 grown grands work.
 
. So far I don't see anyone who would want to take care of a crazy old _art like me.
But with the economy going the direction it is, I wonder it there may be a lot of people who want to live off someone else’s fixed income before long. Just saying that there are times when a roof and 3 meals can look pretty good. As for the millennials, hey going hungry for a few months can really grow people up, especially if they can't afford their cell phone:eek:
You nailed it in that post.
Tell them about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
That huge fortune that the person that takes care of you will inherit when you finally depart.
(This can be an exaggeration or untrue, but you won't be here anyway when they find out)
Trust me, you will have somebody to take care of you.
For the younger people still working: Start building your retirement-income producing 'machine' as soon as you can. You have to do this before you get too old to work or farm.
With compounding, the bigger it gets, the faster it gets bigger. Oh, and everybody starts with $0, so it is not hopeless. Doing nothing is the only way to guarantee that you will have nothing.
On topic: When you reach your 'golden years', not living in the projects on government assistance makes a huge difference in quality-of-life.
 
I saw a couple of communes back in the early 70's and you are correct.
"We all just want to be FREE!!!" :peace: View attachment 50660
The commune is good in theory but it doesn't work.
Everybody just sat around, got stoned, had sex, and waited for someone to work to benefit them.
Basically, sidewalk homeless people with free housing.
The wonderful 'pipe-dreams' they had while passing around the peace-pipe never happened.
A good example of socialism when nobody wants to contribute.

Here are some senior apt.s in North Carolina, at link site there are more states,

https://www.apartmentguide.com/apartments/North-Carolina/Raleigh/Meadows-At-Brier-Creek/44814/


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Seems there is no perfect place or solution. We all have to do what we can or in most cases nothing which is also a plan.Plan on not worring about it I guess.
Did you chase down your abandoned pension benefits?
You mentioned working a lot of overtime in an automotive factory.
If you were under a company pension plan at the time, it did not vanish when you quit.
Sometimes stuff left sitting for 30 years grows... a lot!
You are required by law to start taking it by age 72, whether you forgot about it or not.
This may be the strangest thing I have ever typed: Sometimes the IRS can be your best friend :oops:.
 
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I have made more mistakes that I can count, spent when I should have saved.

But eventually I did learn, I worked at the same job for 10 years and never "brought home" a raise... As soon as I got a raise I increased what I was contributing to my retirement account, I have learned that it is easy to spend another $10 a week, but hard to save it... So if you are covering your bills, quietly save it before you get used to spending it.

I have found that this world is full of talkers, but there are very few do-ers. I was 30 when I went to college for my undergrad program. We made a plan to be able to get an education and over 2 years I got ready and then executed the plan. We had lots of friends who talked about going back to college, but there was always a reason why they couldn't, often it was a new car or some other "need".

I have a plan for my retirement years and a lot of the things I do are enablers for that. I have been asked to move to someplace in the midwest by some folks I know, they say my skills would be good in the community they would like to create. But I declined, I need to work at my job until I reach my goals and my wife cannot leave her medical team.
 
Here are some senior apt.s in North Carolina
Those can't be the kind of senior living places I'm familiar with. Where they have included fancy meals, tons of activities, maid service, staff everywhere to help you out, libraries, classes, trips, etc. Not at those prices. Maybe they're just regular apartments in a complex that older people tend to congregate at?
 
Those can't be the kind of senior living places I'm familiar with. Where they have included fancy meals, tons of activities, maid service, staff everywhere to help you out, libraries, classes, trips, etc. Not at those prices. Maybe they're just regular apartments in a complex that older people tend to congregate at?

I think so too. But even that may be better than homlss or cheap assisted living places.
Maybe the seniors could form a little community and help each other by hiring doctors and nurses visting?
But they they too have a long waiting list with those in line having he:dunno:lp from others.
 
Did you chase down your abandoned pension benefits?
You mentioned working a lot of overtime in an automotive factory.
If you were under a company pension plan at the time, it did not vanish when you quit.
Sometimes stuff left sitting for 30 years grows... a lot!
You are required by law to start taking it by age 72, whether you forgot about it or not.
This may be the strangest thing I have ever typed: Sometimes the IRS can be your best friend :oops:.

I didn't last but a little over a year at GM Asembly. Impossible to find good child care when you work nights. I almost ran over my 2 yr old son who was in the middle of the street at 3am when I went to pick them up,somehow he got into the street .They were at one of the few over night nurserys and cost 2/3s of my pay. Thye were there till I could find a sitter. I went in there so mad raising hell they called the police to me.Grabbed my other two toddlers and left. Another job done gone. SOS didn't pay child suppport.
 
Also I read in some situations hospitals and doctors can goback FIVE years and in SOME cases attach leins on your family members inheritance because you gave them the money when you owed medical bills!
I think what you are referring to is the 5 year look back period that will be done if you claim Medicaid benefits for long term care. Unless you are pretty much broke, with less than $1000 in the bank, you won't qualify for Medcaid to pay LTC. They will look back those years and make sure the assets weren't just given to family members so that the person could qualify. I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing.

Many folks don't think of LTC insurance when they're in their 50's. That is the time to purchase it for a decent price, so I've been told. Waitng until you're 70 to purchase it, will be prohibitively expensive for most. Although, some life insurance policies can also have a LTC benefit embedded in that policy. Some life insurance policies will also allow for LTC riders to be added to the policy as well. So, those options may be worth considering and asking about.

One of the long term care facilities around here, with full 24 hour medical care will run $350 per day. I believe they require pre-payments. I don't believe that Medicare pays for any of that.

When my grandmother moved into a assisted living facility, I believe they took her SS checks for payment. I should ask family how much it was and how it was paid for. I wouldn't mind being in a place like that. It was beautiful with all meals served in the dining room and daily activities held. She had her own room that was like an apartment. She had a kitchenette, bathroom, bedroom, and living room. It was nice.
 
I think what you are referring to is the 5 year look back period that will be done if you claim Medicaid benefits for long term care. Unless you are pretty much broke, with less than $1000 in the bank, you won't qualify for Medcaid to pay LTC. They will look back those years and make sure the assets weren't just given to family members so that the person could qualify. I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing.

Many folks don't think of LTC insurance when they're in their 50's. That is the time to purchase it for a decent price, so I've been told. Waitng until you're 70 to purchase it, will be prohibitively expensive for most. Although, some life insurance policies can also have a LTC benefit embedded in that policy. Some life insurance policies will also allow for LTC riders to be added to the policy as well. So, those options may be worth considering and asking about.

One of the long term care facilities around here, with full 24 hour medical care will run $350 per day. I believe they require pre-payments. I don't believe that Medicare pays for any of that.

When my grandmother moved into a assisted living facility, I believe they took her SS checks for payment. I should ask family how much it was and how it was paid for. I wouldn't mind being in a place like that. It was beautiful with all meals served in the dining room and daily activities held. She had her own room that was like an apartment. She had a kitchenette, bathroom, bedroom, and living room. It was nice.

Yhats pobably true too but I'm refering to trying to get out of your assets including your home for medical bills. Some will put everything i ntheir childs name or someone elses to escape the medical bills, so they can go back 5 years to collect.This is why supplemental insurence is so important to us all.
 
If you want to get techicle about it ,all assited living places are ' communes':Dthey just don't have as many chiefs as they do indians. And nursing homes can knock your butt out with meds or zombefy you of you get out of line.
So there is no perfect place for us old throwaways. Most people today are rasing graandkids or working on their next mansion or Lexus.and prefer changing their grankids diapers to changing ours.:D. Or too old and unable to care for their parents. And forget those self absorbed millinial grandkids helping out,:LOL:.


Okay, this bothers me.

1. I can sorta agree Assisted Living and Nursing Homes are somewhat a commune, except that the able are being paid to be there, not a mutual group of people helping each other. I had Dad in Nursing Home and he died there. And Mom went in when I could not live with her at her home any longer and she could not come to my place as too small, too much stuff and stairs she cannot handle.

2. And my kids did help with the break up of the home once it sold and we needed it cleaned out. 2 or 3 times my youngest and her hubby and kids drove up over 600 miles to help me clean out the home. And on the 2nd or 3rd times the son--in-law and two of the 8 grandkids drove up again and helped. They only wanted me to tell them what needs doing. But they knew what to do better than I did.

3. The young couple that bought Mom's house - well they did the handy man stuff to get the house so it would pass FHA finance inspection. That young man and his family are now friends. They worked their butts off and were so afraid I would get fed up with the delays and such and just sell to someone else. But, after they did so much work that house was theirs come hell or high water.

4. So in conclusion on this somewhat rant. Don't write off the equal or younger generations. There are some fantastic folks out there.

Okay, back to just reading.
 
Being in my late 20s this is a good read. Thanks for all the input guys and gals!

Well Badge glad you enjoy it. And can read and understand it without prejudice. I kid about your generation but also place most of the blame on mine. None of us are perfect and this song kinda tells it like it is for me.:thumbs:

 
Okay, this bothers me.

1. I can sorta agree Assisted Living and Nursing Homes are somewhat a commune, except that the able are being paid to be there, not a mutual group of people helping each other. I had Dad in Nursing Home and he died there. And Mom went in when I could not live with her at her home any longer and she could not come to my place as too small, too much stuff and stairs she cannot handle.

2. And my kids did help with the break up of the home once it sold and we needed it cleaned out. 2 or 3 times my youngest and her hubby and kids drove up over 600 miles to help me clean out the home. And on the 2nd or 3rd times the son--in-law and two of the 8 grandkids drove up again and helped. They only wanted me to tell them what needs doing. But they knew what to do better than I did.

3. The young couple that bought Mom's house - well they did the handy man stuff to get the house so it would pass FHA finance inspection. That young man and his family are now friends. They worked their butts off and were so afraid I would get fed up with the delays and such and just sell to someone else. But, after they did so much work that house was theirs come hell or high water.

4. So in conclusion on this somewhat rant. Don't write off the equal or younger generations. There are some fantastic folks out there.

Okay, back to just reading.

Angie you need some serious mellowing out,maybe take a drink and let loose or something. Now you hot into this thread debate so I'm debating about us old folks and our future.
Trying to be serious with a little humor thrown into the punch.
My grssndkids are there as much as they can be under the circumstances.
Stop taking everything so serious is whatI have to do to survive the end of the world as we know it,lol another song. ;)

 
Being in my late 20s this is a good read. Thanks for all the input guys and gals!
I hope you can take the opportunity to speak to your parents and perhaps inlaws about this. I have been extrememly fortunate that all of our family (inlaws too) do not mind talking about this kind of stuff and they have all made their 'end of life' plans. My mom has paid for her plots, her urns, her cremation, and has even gotten her stone carved....it's just waiting for an end date. In all honesty, it's a bit morbid, but I enthusiastically thanked her and gave her a big hug for getting all those plans done. I have wills, POA's (both medical and financial) and other documents for my parents and inlaws in the safe ready to roll. I am currently working on getting my Lady Bird Deed finalized for my kids so that they don't have to worry about probate when we pass. The property and everything that is on the property will go straight to them and they even get the benefit of a step up cost basis so that if they decided to sell (which I hope they don't) they would not have to pay capital gains tax.

I know some folks that have had to deal with the mess left by their parents. Most of the time it is unnecessary. A little pre-planning could have saved a whole lot of heartache. In addition to dealing with the emotional loss of a family members, they also had to deal with the finances and clean up of everything, including going thru probate. It truly is a gift when someone understands what a horrible time this can be, and makes sure their ducks are in a row upon their death.

As far as long term care......I have some more investigating to do. During our working years, we made sure we had disability insurance should something happen to us, so that we could continue to pay the bills. Now that we're semi-retired, it's probably time to give some more thought and planning to LTC.
 
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