Way out there thought - saving on funerals/cremations?

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Not exactly a normal frugal thought, but the answers will vary how much is saved.

Funerals.
Caskets cost a lot to ridiculous amounts for putting in the remains of a body a loved one inhabited while alive.
I know that a smaller casket can be $800 less than a next size larger. I know as uncle was squeezed into a normal size one, basic. Saved money on the basic casket and not having a concrete vault. The vault would be more money.


How much does cremation cost? No service at funeral home? Maybe having a dutch treat restaurant room for remembering. Cost much less, I think.

Conversations with Mom, and what to do with them when they pass. = So, I thought, why do we do fancy expensive funerals? Does it help us remember better? How many visit graves much any longer? Our loved ones are not there.

(and I may move this if I find a better forum for it.)
 
Funerals are a big expensive waste of money.
I want to be cremated and my ashes interned in a National Cemetery.
People tend to over spend for funerals and the funeral homes will encourage them to spend way more than needed.
A casket from Costco cost from $900 to $1800.
Urns cost from $40 to $150.
That is a lot cheaper than a funeral home will sell you one.
My parents took care of all their arrangements well before they died and I will always be grateful to them for doing that.
Laws vary from state to state so your options will depend on that.
I think here you have to have a concrete liner unless you're cremated.
 
I personally don't want to be cremated, neither does NH. Sparing everyone my religious and spiritual thoughts, getting back to the issue at hand...
You can't even just handle it all yourself of course. Death certificate has to be done. Have you ever dressed a dead body for burial? I have. I know usually the funeral home people do that, plus makeup and hair.
I think if you inquire now they want to give you the big schpiel and sign here, yada yada yah. I linked an article in the thread the other day about funeral home costs.
Stardust.
 
tiffanysgallery said:
All do respect i've never understood the difference between an urn and a jar with a lid.

When my neighbor's husband died she bought a prepaid plan for her burial. She says it was the only way she could be buried next to her husband.

Isn't it medicare that helps with about $300 for burial?
Click to expand...

My MIL was cremated and buried in her favorite cookie jar.
I don't remember the total cost but it wasn't much especially when compared to a big funeral.
I know several people that just kept the ashes and didn't have a burial of any kind.
There are less expensive options available but you must do the research to find out.
Social Security benefit is a lump sum $255 paid to the surviving spouse.
For veterans .
https://www.benefits.va.gov/BENEFITS/factsheets/burials/Burial.pdf
If the Veteran died on or after October 1, 2017, VA will pay a $300 burial allowance and $762 for a plot.
 
What I found is cremation cost $1,100 & up.
A funeral cost between $7000-$10,000.
Funeral is the whole package.
Cremation is just that no urn or services.
I want to be Cremated & I am building my on Urn from wood.
I want a "grave side" service & lots of food for the family.
I would rather save the money for my family to spent on themselves in memory of me.
I think you should have big birthdays & a small funeral.
The when the children buy a new car or send a child to college, they can say "thank,s DaD".
 
When I go, donate any usable organs/tissues, cremate me (1100$), put my ashes in the cookie jar we picked out (30$), and take a couple hundred bucks and have a blow out pizza/beer/wine party with all my friends, and tell all the stories you were sworn not tell while I was alive :)
 
DIY Coffin-Building Workshop Reviving Dying Art Of Casket-Making

"Caskets can cost thousands of dollars to buy, but at the Coffin Club, members only need to supply their own materials. Russell Game is a club mentor but he is also making a coffin for himself. “It’s so much cheaper than buying a coffin,” he said. “I don’t know what the funeral directors think about it, but we can make them for probably a tenth of the cost.” When Mr. Game’s is finished, his casket will have cost less than $200 to make. “This is actually going to be a bookcase, so it’ll be in my lounge room. When I cough it [sic] or someone I know wants it, I’ll just put the two pieces together. I think it’s a good idea for people to think about end of life and it’s a nice thing to do, it’s fun.”"

http://clevememorialsociety.org/diy-coffin-building-workshop-reviving-dying-art-casket-making/
 
VThillman said:
In my area, cremation is about half the price of the least expensive body-in-a-box. The 'official' funeral service is optional, and the urn doesn't have to get planted. My next door neighbor's ashes were cast to the wind on his favorite deer hunting mountain by his widow.
Click to expand...

That is probably what will happen with Mom and Dad. I think Dad will go first, so Mom gets to decide that one. But I'll be making those arrangements. And she wants to be cremated, too. They do have two plots in a little cemetery around here.

tiffanysgallery said:
DIY Coffin-Building Workshop Reviving Dying Art Of Casket-Making

"Caskets can cost thousands of dollars to buy, but at the Coffin Club, members only need to supply their own materials. Russell Game is a club mentor but he is also making a coffin for himself. “It’s so much cheaper than buying a coffin,” he said. “I don’t know what the funeral directors think about it, but we can make them for probably a tenth of the cost.” When Mr. Game’s is finished, his casket will have cost less than $200 to make. “This is actually going to be a bookcase, so it’ll be in my lounge room. When I cough it [sic] or someone I know wants it, I’ll just put the two pieces together. I think it’s a good idea for people to think about end of life and it’s a nice thing to do, it’s fun.”"

http://clevememorialsociety.org/diy-coffin-building-workshop-reviving-dying-art-casket-making/
Click to expand...

My uncle meant to make his own wooden coffin, but he ran out before he found his lost Round TUIT.
 
dademoss said:
When I go, donate any usable organs/tissues, cremate me (1100$), put my ashes in the cookie jar we picked out (30$), and take a couple hundred bucks and have a blow out pizza/beer/wine party with all my friends, and tell all the stories you were sworn not tell while I was alive :)
Click to expand...

I agree Dademoss! I haven't picked out my jar yet, but now I probably should.

I hate funeral homes! They are dark, depressing, and the one around here is old and dated. This is not where I want my send off to be! I think the funeral homes take advantage of grief. Although, it also falls on the shoulders of those who do not plan ahead and understand what their options are. In that regard, thanks to the OP for bringing this up.

I really don't care if my family prefers to bury or scorch me so I really should ask them and then make arrangements from there. After all, it makes more of a difference to them than it does to me. Do they prefer to know I'm at rest at a cemetary OR to be in a jar somewhere?

I told my family that if I die before them, please have a party at a local tavern with an open bar (and food) and play my favorite music. Folks should dress like they do when going out on a Friday night to party. I don't like somber send offs. Life's too short to be sad. So, have a party....maybe say a few words, but don't have it in a funeral home where everyone can't wait to get the heck outta there and go on with their lives. Isn't it ironic that funeral homes cost so much and nobody wants to be there? Why do we just accept it? It's because few people have considered the fact that we might die......even though it's most definitely going to happen.
 
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tiffanysgallery said:
DIY Coffin-Building Workshop Reviving Dying Art Of Casket-Making

"Caskets can cost thousands of dollars to buy, but at the Coffin Club, members only need to supply their own materials. Russell Game is a club mentor but he is also making a coffin for himself. “It’s so much cheaper than buying a coffin,” he said. “I don’t know what the funeral directors think about it, but we can make them for probably a tenth of the cost.” When Mr. Game’s is finished, his casket will have cost less than $200 to make. “This is actually going to be a bookcase, so it’ll be in my lounge room. When I cough it [sic] or someone I know wants it, I’ll just put the two pieces together. I think it’s a good idea for people to think about end of life and it’s a nice thing to do, it’s fun.”"

http://clevememorialsociety.org/diy-coffin-building-workshop-reviving-dying-art-casket-making/
Click to expand...
My Dad was a good woodworker.
He built a lot of furniture for every member of the family.
He ordered plans for a casket and his idea was to build it and use it for a coffee table until the time he needed it.
My Mom was having none of it. She said she was not going to look at it for years while waiting for him to die.
As it turned out he would not have had enough time to finish one before he died.
Cancer sucks.
 
backlash said:
My Dad was a good woodworker.
He built a lot of furniture for every member of the family.
He ordered plans for a casket and his idea was to build it and use it for a coffee table until the time he needed it.
My Mom was having none of it. She said she was not going to look at it for years while waiting for him to die.
As it turned out he would not have had enough time to finish one before he died.
Cancer sucks.
Click to expand...

That's bad. And sad. I wanted to do a LIKE, but like seems so inappropriate for that post.

I'm sorry.
 
backlash said:
My Dad was a good woodworker.
He built a lot of furniture for every member of the family.
He ordered plans for a casket and his idea was to build it and use it for a coffee table until the time he needed it.
My Mom was having none of it. She said she was not going to look at it for years while waiting for him to die.
As it turned out he would not have had enough time to finish one before he died.
Cancer sucks.
Click to expand...

It sure does! :heart:
 
backlash said:
My Dad was a good woodworker.
He built a lot of furniture for every member of the family.
He ordered plans for a casket and his idea was to build it and use it for a coffee table until the time he needed it.
My Mom was having none of it. She said she was not going to look at it for years while waiting for him to die.
As it turned out he would not have had enough time to finish one before he died.
Cancer sucks.
Click to expand...
Cancer sure does!

Sorry to hear about your Dad Backlash!

:heart:
 
My will gives my body for any and all organs that can be used (including skin) and then specifies the the remains be buried in a shallow grave. This earth has supported me very well over the years and it is time to give back to nature. The bugs and worms can have what I leave behind. My wife, if she survives me will get a lock of hair because there will be no headstone. There are enough people who know me that I won't be forgotten for a few generations.
 
Life is a sexually transmitted, fatal disease. The point of it is to get as many people to love you so they can celebrate your birth to the next stage.
 
I thought the following article was informative:
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0301-funeral-costs-and-pricing-checklist

And this about direct burial...
https://www.everplans.com/articles/4-things-you-need-to-know-about-direct-burial
I had no idea about direct burial before reading this.

Also:https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-much-does-a-funeral-cost_us_5804c784e4b0f42ad3d264de

I learned a couple of things. I thought a vault was mandatory for anyone being buried.....apparently not so. I also thought if a person was to be buried they must be embalmed.....apparently also not necessarily true. I think laws differ from state to state so it would be wise to check on your own.

Costco has caskets starting at $1000 and urns starting at $89. Costco promises arrival of casket in 3 days of ordering. In doing a bit of online research you can also find some other casket companies that ship overnight and come in under $1000.

I think the reason many people just go with the funeral home is b/c who wants to do online research of caskets when a loved one has passed? That's why it makes a lot of sense to do that research ahead of time, choose which casket you want, and leave the information with your family members with the cash to pay for it. That way, it can be done frugally, quickly, and without leaving those tough decisions to your family.....since you've already done all the work. I did notice that at some online vendors, their cheapest option was sold out, so it would be wise to have a backup choice in case they run into that issue.

Also check fairly frequently with your immediate family members regarding their plans. I thought DH and I had already made these decisions, but this post made me ask him again, and guess what? He has changed his mind since we had our will made out years ago. Now I will have to do some more research and make an amendment to our will with the necessary changes.
 
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It's really amazing what the funeral places tell you is "required" until you ask for the law that states that :( At least years ago in Ohio, really not much of what the funeral place said in the beginning was REALLY required :p
 
My mother made my aunt's arrangements years before she passed away. She was cremated, we had a graveside service where I dug the hole with post hole diggers and dumped the ashes in the hole. Her parents had already placed the headstone by theirs before they died. Very simple. My husband built a red cedar casket for his cousin. We stored it for 6 years and she was placed in it a month ago. They do the green funeral with no embalming. The funeral home did freeze her until the service 2 weeks after she passed. The casket was beautiful. They have a prairie area on their property so the body quickly returns to prairie which they love. One of the graves has a large monument flat stone that can be mowed over. The other one is unmarked. I don't know what this cousin will have on hers as she is on the other side of the stone. Husband and I are leaning toward cremation. Don't think my girls are on the same page. I don't care what they do with me. I know where I will be watching from. Keep it simple and cheap which is my motto.
 
Here in AR where I live, it's going to be cheap for us. We can have a private cemetery, all we have to do is tell the county where it is so it doesn't get disturbed in the future.
If it's natural causes, the coroner will come out to your house and sign off, no autopsy or removal necessary. Then it's up to you to do what you want with the remains.
Many of the farms and homesteads around me have private cemeteries, as do we. I'll be buried green, with a nut tree planted over me :) Fitting I'd say.
 
TBob said:
Here in AR where I live, it's going to be cheap for us. We can have a private cemetery, all we have to do is tell the county where it is so it doesn't get disturbed in the future.
If it's natural causes, the coroner will come out to your house and sign off, no autopsy or removal necessary. Then it's up to you to do what you want with the remains.
Many of the farms and homesteads around me have private cemeteries, as do we. I'll be buried green, with a nut tree planted over me :) Fitting I'd say.
Click to expand...

I'm glad you mentioned that. I looked up NM law and its pretty simple. No embalming or casket required just have to check with the county and give them a map of the property with the location marked so it can be added to the deed. No restrictions on ashes except for EPA regs on waterways.
 
I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Had a second heart attack a couple months ago at 52. The average life expectancy after retirement as an LEO is only 5 years. I'm 3 down now soooo...... I really need to get things settled. I was going to make an urn but, I think I will just get me one of those fancy brown Ball jars. A friend of a friend does cremation around here. I think he said $750. I need to touch base with him and maybe go ahead and pay for it so my family won't have too.
 
Just Cliff said:
A friend of a friend does cremation around here. I think he said $750. I need to touch base with him and maybe go ahead and pay for it so my family won't have too.
Click to expand...

Actually, that's a very nice thing to do for your family. It takes a lot of the pressure off of them at a moment when they're kinda frazzled anyway. The arrangements would already be made.

My parents did their preplanning probably a couple of decades ahead, paid for it, had it all set up. Really, it was so smooth. Mom had a regular burial. Dad is still living. But mom's whole funeral went so smooth. Almost all of the decisions had already been made. Most of the stuff had already been bought and paid for. There was really very little that the family had to do and the total expenses for incidentals were maybe $200.

On a different subject, Cliff, have you thought about a ketogenic way of eating? That really turned my health around. I was going in a very bad direction up until a little over a year ago. At just past the 50 years mark, I was 100 pounds overweight, setting up nicely for diabetes, heart attack and maybe stroke. Wasn't good. Decided I had to make some changes or I wouldn't be around a whole lot longer. Found out that the keto diet fits me very well. Health much improved, dropped about 70 pounds so far, way, way more energy, more able to do things, and I do not go hungry! Yeah, there are some things I don't eat anymore but I still eat very well. (I mostly make my own desserts to be low-carb and pretty much sugar free but I do NOT go without dessert!) Not meaning to pry or be obnoxious, just something that came to mind. BTW, thank you for your service in law enforcement! That's a hard job and many of us out here really appreciate what you guys do and remember you in our prayers. Take care!
 
Just Cliff said:
I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Had a second heart attack a couple months ago at 52. The average life expectancy after retirement as an LEO is only 5 years. I'm 3 down now soooo...... I really need to get things settled. I was going to make an urn but, I think I will just get me one of those fancy brown Ball jars. A friend of a friend does cremation around here. I think he said $750. I need to touch base with him and maybe go ahead and pay for it so my family won't have too.
Click to expand...
Hush you!! My husband retires next year and I'm expecting a heck of a lot years for bumming around. Think positive!!
 
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