What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?

[Meerkat]

We haven't been in a club in years. A couple months ago we went to a little club with a band. About 200 people. Talked to a couple neighbors there we seldom see except to wave or help like when trees fall down on fence, animals get killed by panthers etc,etc,etc..
I seldom drink anything but wine or bloody beer and that is maybe 4 times a year. This time I went with Grey Goose and Kahlua a coffee liqueur aka Black Russian. Tasted good and since I don't get out much is an understatement, I had a few of them.
All of a sudden I'm back in time and on the dance floor doing all kinds of dances. Or at least thought it was dancing.
This is someone who judges old fools who try to dance like they are still capable of the moves. I was doing the shimmy, the twist, boogaloo, swim jerk 'appropiate',etc,
Needless to say I cleared the floor.
Then comes tomorrow, i was so embarassed and humiliated just imagining my performance. I kept trying to not visualize what I must have looked like. it. The picture would not go away.
I would not go to grocery in fear of seeing a neighbor, made hubby do all shopping for a month. Hubby took a pic but can't find it,thank goodness. I'm still wondering where all that lung capacity came from never knew insanity was good for lung voluum.
I only had about 4 drinks and I don't think it was the real stuff, I know the Kahlua was not Kahlua some kind of genetic crap Grey Goose was probably Mad Dog or Wild Turkey poured into Grey Goose bottle. Cost me $8 a drink to make a total fool of myself, so proof age is not a cure for being temp insane.

 

[The Innkeeper]

Preparing to take my wife on a quick trip to Tahoe for couple of days. She is 8 months pregnant with our s cold and not of inconsequential girth. Took some bathing suits into the change room and came out wearing one and asked me what I thought. Without thinking I said “you look like a hot air balloon”. Oops

Not the most embarrassing but not one of my better moments

 

[Cascadian]

If our have ever seen Jeff Dunham you know his dummy peanut. One of peanuts quotes is " I like cupcakes and porn, but not at the same time I need a free hand".

When I was comming to after an ACL surgery I blurted that out. The nurse looked at me in disgust. Oh well

 

[Resto]

Nope.....Not gonna tell. Nice Try

 

[Tommycourt]

I am simply not going to join into this conversation as I had truly embarrassed myself when I told my hunting stories of when I was bow hunting and my "accident". That was one of my low points in life. If you missed it then I am sorry. But if you are Buster, Jim, Mag, VT(Bob) Spike, Gumpy or any of the many leg pullers we have on here, and a few others I may have missed, then you would not understand. Enough said from my big mouth already!!!!

Tommy

 

[Sentry18]

When I was single deputy sheriff I lived in an apartment directly above of woman who was, let's just say, very voluptuous. She was a 911 dispatcher so I had occasion to chat with her at work, in the laundry room, coming and going from the apartment, etc. She had a patio and would frequently lay out in the skimpiest of bikinis to catch some rays. The ground level patios were at least 2x bigger than the small decks the upper apartments had. Well one day I have a buddy (also a deputy) over who was standing on my patio grilling something as I was making the rest of the food in my kitchen. He was looking over the railing at my neighbor when his sunglasses fell off and landed right on her abdomen. He of course quickly pulled his head back and retreated into the apartment. But he failed to tell me and part of this story. We ate and he took off. A little later my neighbor shows up in a bikini and a wrap of some kind, holding a pair of sunglasses. I said hello, she handed me the sunglasses and said "If you want a closer look, just take me out on a date first". She then blew me a kiss, turned around and walked away. I was clueless as to what just happened. So a few days later I see her at Dispatch and I invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. I think it was our 3rd or 4th date when she told me that if we ever get married (yikes) that we will have a great story to tell people about we got together, referring to the sunglasses incident. I asked what she was talking about, she looked confused too. Then we figured out what happened (and my buddy later confessed). She seemed a little disappointed and we only dated a couple more times after that. She did however end up marrying my buddy a couple years later.

 

[backlash]

I had a neighbor like that when we lived in Navy housing.
Her tops kept getting smaller and smaller till she was just putting a cotton ball on each nipple.
None of the guys in the complex complained but some of the wives started calling base security every time she was out.
They would respond in record time and she was finally forced to stop sun bathing or be kicked out of housing.

 

[Weedygarden]

Looking for a place to post a story and found this thread. Lots of laughs in this one!