What to do with those people who you think will show up after SHTF

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Turning needy people away would be a hard thing for many to do, no matter how much or little supplies they have on hand. Times like that is when it is good to have a cold-hearted (or more accurately a practical) person like me around to deal with it.
 
Let's say I have a 1 year supply for my immediate family including three grandchildren under the age of four and our invalid mothers for a total of 12.

365 days in a year divided by 12 people equals 30 units of food per person per year to maintain life.

SIL (on disability), her son (on disability) and her adult grandson (zero skills) appear. "OH PLEASE LET US IN! 3 more people to feed times 30 units of food equals 90 days less food I would have for my grandchildren. Ain't going to happen!

Single mother with two little ones in tow, my response is the same.

On the other hand, crops are good, more food then what we know what to do with? Then my attitude would be completely different towards the mother and two little ones.
 
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I would answer their inquiry with, "I was going to ask if you had any food or water you could share, we are getting hungry and thirsty."
 
hiwall said:
Turning needy people away would be a hard thing for many to do, ....
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True.

Before SHTF disciplining our children isn't easy either. Parents can choose to go the easy way or do their best to raise future productive citizens. So do we do what must be done for the betterment of the family or do what is the easiest?
 
Years ago we agreed on this mantra: We're not the bank. We're not the grocery store. We're not the Bed and Breakfast. We don't defend nor apologize when we say 'no'.

We're prioritized how we spend our money for years - separating need from greed. I have no sympathy for someone who thinks it's OK for spend a $100/month on an IPhone with all the do-dads and won't buy extra bags of beans and rice.

If anyone shows up at our door during/after an event, we'll go with an adaptation of SheepDog's response: We'd beat them to the punch and immediately ask if they had any food or water they could share because we are getting hungry and thirsty." We'd never let them in the house.
 
Our choice has already been made. We will allow two of my wife's friends in. I doubt if either has more than two weeks worth of food. There are others that I'd let in because they are hunters and I like meat but they'd never show up. The ones I'd really want are too far away to ever make it here.
 
I believe I have mentioned this before,A friend that I have known for years made the oft quoted if I'm displaced statement and I quickly replied , You shure can as long as you bring at least 6 months worth of food each, your rifles and a few thousand rounds of ammo! To my suprise a couple of weeks later he was asking advice on what shotgun to buy, then if we could go in together to buy in bulk a few cases of shells then wonder if wonder he now has acres of property about forty miles away.
So to make this long story short I turned the tables on him and put the displaced question on him with the caveat that I will try my best not to show up empty handed.....He agreed and was thankful
that I would consider his BOL as a viable place to be.
Well one hasta have options!!!
 
Years ago a person who had been a friend of my family for over thirty years showed up on my doorstep. First he was hungry... then he needed a job... then he never wanted to leave... he ended up giving me all kinds of trouble.

From this experience, I realized when a person comes to my door, it's best I don't answer.
 
tiffanysgallery said:
Years ago a person who had been a friend of my family for over thirty years showed up on my doorstep. First he was hungry... then he needed a job... then he never wanted to leave... he ended up giving me all kinds of trouble.

From this experience, I realized when a person comes to my door, it's best I don't answer.
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In days long past, folks only wanted or needed a helping hand. Now folks think they are entitled to a life time of hand out.
 
My direct family all have invitations to rally at my place as soon as it becomes obvious that things are going south. Some are local. Others would have distances to travel and would find themselves in less than optimal situations (despite counsel from the old man to change their circumstances). Bring your clothing, any food you can transport, camping gear and any medical suppliers you have on hand. I've already socked away enough of the other needful things to get us through the first year or so (depending on how many make it). Only one group invited other than immediate family: my family doctor and his family. Besides being friends, his contribution is one we need.

So far as showing solid Christian values, I plan to do so. I'll make contributions of food to the local church and let them distribute with the clear understanding that they do not disclose where it came from. And I'll direct those that need help to the local church. That's how I plan to balance OPSEC with compassion. We're fortunate enough to be part of a like-minded neighborhood group that meets together to share tips and make plans. We've all agreed on the "help the church to help others" plan. But I hope we never have to find out just how well our plan will work.
 
ssonb said:
I believe I have mentioned this before,A friend that I have known for years made the oft quoted if I'm displaced statement and I quickly replied , You shure can as long as you bring at least 6 months worth of food each, your rifles and a few thousand rounds of ammo! To my suprise a couple of weeks later he was asking advice on what shotgun to buy, then if we could go in together to buy in bulk a few cases of shells then wonder if wonder he now has acres of property about forty miles away.
So to make this long story short I turned the tables on him and put the displaced question on him with the caveat that I will try my best not to show up empty handed.....He agreed and was thankful
that I would consider his BOL as a viable place to be.
Well one hasta have options!!!
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You are lucky that it worked out like this. I am sure that some people are interested in prepping but may need some mentoring. It would be better to work with a group of like minded people who can and will cooperate together for the good of all.

When I think of working with a group, it reminds me of all the places and people I have worked with. There is always someone who wants to tell others what to do. There is always a person who can't get dirty and do real work, because they just can't. There is always a duplicitous backstabber that no one can trust, someone who says yes to your face, but really wants to do something else. There is always someone who gets hysterical over little or nothing which could put a larger group in danger during tougher times. There is always a mole, who pretends to be on board, but has their own plan. There are so many people who could be a danger to us.
 
Weedygarden said:
You are lucky that it worked out like this. I am sure that some people are interested in prepping but may need some mentoring. It would be better to work with a group of like minded people who can and will cooperate together for the good of all.

When I think of working with a group, it reminds me of all the places and people I have worked with. There is always someone who wants to tell others what to do. There is always a person who can't get dirty and do real work, because they just can't. There is always a duplicitous backstabber that no one can trust, someone who says yes to your face, but really wants to do something else. There is always someone who gets hysterical over little or nothing which could put a larger group in danger during tougher times. There is always a mole, who pretends to be on board, but has their own plan. There are so many people who could be a danger to us.
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Weedy, I have to agree with your assessment. People I don't know and will never understand. Family I do know. Their strength and more importantly, their weakness. No surprises. To me, having / belonging to a MAG is like dating. Everybody can be on their best behavior, for the short run. Family is like marriage, you have been together long enough to know who is what and can or cannot handle the trials and tribulation coming down the road. JM2C
 
Terri9630 said:
We have as much at the mtn place as we do here. If necessary we can just load the animals and go. It would he nice to load everything from here if there's time but we could survive without it.
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What are you going to do if you get there and your place is already squatted in and they are using your supplies, and want to fight you off by gun power?
 
I have family/reletives that i wouldn't mind living under the same roof with. Then there's the ones I'd rather not be within 20 miles of,in a worse case scenario. Then there's the neighbors that I feel the same way about. I will turn ppl away.on account I'm not here to feed them. Plus I won't allow anyone to take food from my table. On account that's taking food from my mouth.
 
jimLE said:
I have family/reletives that i wouldn't mind living under the same roof with. Then there's the ones I'd rather not be within 20 miles of,in a worse case scenario. Then there's the neighbors that I feel the same way about. I will turn ppl away.on account I'm not here to feed them. Plus I won't allow anyone to take food from my table. On account that's taking food from my mouth.
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Yes, I think we all know people whom we don't want to be around, anywhere, anytime. It is one thing when they are people we have met or know from life. It is another thing when they are "relatives." (not necessarily "family," and there is a difference)

I found many years ago that there are users; those who want to do what they want with their lives, but want to use others when they fail to meet basic needs or to rescue them. I think it is good to set boundaries early on, long before a SHTF scenario.

For some people, you have to be very stern and unkind to get their attention. Speaking in any other way means you are a pushover, overtly or covertly. Teaching in the inner city gave me some insight into this idea, even from colleagues.
 
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I think I told about a man I met once, who had a group of people that he worked with to help them be prepared. How it all started, I have no idea. I will call him Bob, although that is not his name.

Bob had a few properties in an rural area, in and outside a small city in south central Colorado. His group has regular meetups at his city property, but he has a developed property outside of that city, that only his family has been to. No one in his group has been there, for the sake of safety. His private property was developed by him, a now retired construction worker who had his own company including large equipment for moving earth.

I first heard of Bob when I would go to the LDS storehouse. I was asked more than once if I was in So and So's group? No, I didn't know the man. But one of the canning machines that you could check out from there at that time, was gone, probably for years, checked out by this guy, and used by his group on their meetups, canning their food.

Bob had had his group for a number of years, and had been putting up food with them, practicing shooting and other skills at all of those weekend get-aways. He put together a list of what was required of all of his people to have. He had had this list for years, and expected that all of his people would do this, and keep increasing their preps. Somehow, he got word, or realized that not everyone was following his protocol. (People probably thought they could depend on others in a SHTF situation.) He decided to do an unannounced visit to the families to check their in home preps. Many failed so badly, that they were removed from his group. They had failed his quiz. Preps that had been stored at the small city property was returned to each of those families.

Without figuring out ways to test people, and to keep testing them and pushing to find the weaknesses, we are all as strong as the weakest link in our group.

BTW, I met Bob at a Survivalist store. He gave me his card and visited with me. He told me about his set up and group. He gave me some recommendations, one being to have lots of salt for preservation purposes. He offered to come and evaluate my home and preps. I was really busy at the time, and never did follow up with him.
 
Angie said:
What are you going to do if you get there and your place is already squatted in and they are using your supplies, and want to fight you off by gun power?
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Its being watched by friends who bought the property across the street who have as much as we do who also believe that they need our help to survive a shtf situation. They are staying at our place while they build their house, its almost done. I don't think they need us to survive but they followed us up there to try to ensure what they call "thrival". I taught them to can their garden produce and I've been helping them to learn to care for and process their livestock.

The other folks up there are VERY big on property rights and have actively chased people out of the area.
 
hiwall said:
Turning needy people away would be a hard thing for many to do, no matter how much or little supplies they have on hand. Times like that is when it is good to have a cold-hearted (or more accurately a practical) person like me around to deal with it.
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Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind , my Aunt Emily said this and I didn't understand her at the time. In this case it would be be kind to your family while seemingly cruel to others.
 
Weedygarden said:
...BTW, I met Bob at a Survivalist store. He gave me his card and visited with me. He told me about his set up and group. He gave me some recommendations, one being to have lots of salt for preservation purposes. He offered to come and evaluate my home and preps. I was really busy at the time, and never did follow up with him.
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Playing devils advocate. How does anyone know that "Bob" really does have a developed property out side the city for a BOL? How do we know that "Bob" isn't just encouraging others to prep so when the SHTF he know who to rob for supplies?
 
The Lazy L said:
Playing devils advocate. How does anyone know that "Bob" really does have a developed property out side the city for a BOL? How do we know that "Bob" isn't just encouraging others to prep so when the SHTF he know who to rob for supplies?
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I have no idea because I only met him once. Anything is possible. I know that he, and maybe his group have property in the small city where they meet up. The more people contributing to a stockpile, the better.
 
First find what skills they have that we need or can use as a back up.
Next what they are willing to learn or do to pay the rent, food & healthcare.
Next they would have to understand as guess, they have very little say about it(they need us more than we need them).
I told my family that my mother is the only one with a free pass & she owns a house, so she is already bought in.
The rest better know how to cook, clean, chop wood, butcher meat or hoe the garden.
 
Son invite his best friend (and friend's immediate family) to my place when SHTF.

I've got mixed emotions.

Son took his Best Friend out to the local gun range. Son and I provided the firearms and I provide the ammo. Best Friend sincerely (with a broad smile) thank me for letting him use my ammo (about a thousand rounds) and was very appreciative.

I told him he was welcomed and IF he was coming (without a smile) to my place (SHTF) then he had better be able to shoot to protect his family the food he would be bring. His changed facial expression told me he got my point.

Also the Best Friend is an only child has dominating tendencies. SHTF he's going to have to quickly adjust that he is #3 or lower on the totem pole. He is smart and knowledgeable.
 
The Lazy L said:
Son invite his best friend (and friend's immediate family) to my place when SHTF.

I've got mixed emotions.

Son took his Best Friend out to the local gun range. Son and I provided the firearms and I provide the ammo. Best Friend sincerely (with a broad smile) thank me for letting him use my ammo (about a thousand rounds) and was very appreciative.

I told him he was welcomed and IF he was coming (without a smile) to my place (SHTF) then he had better be able to shoot to protect his family the food he would be bring. His changed facial expression told me he got my point.

Also the Best Friend is an only child has dominating tendencies. SHTF he's going to have to quickly adjust that he is #3 or lower on the totem pole. He is smart and knowledgeable.
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I think he could be trouble. He will do what he has to, to get in the door. Then he will want to dominate and get what he wants. Only children and youngest child in the family often dominate, or try to.

I worked with a woman for many years who had to get along with the group of us, and did. She was an excellent teacher and fun to work with. After she moved out of state, and came back to visit one summer, a few of us decided to spend a weekend in the mountains with her, a getaway. She was around 50 at the time, and not as old as another woman. Woman wanted to run the whole show--go where and when she wanted, eat when and where she decided. She knew one of us (not me) didn't like hot springs, but she did, so she wanted to sneak in a trip to some hot springs, doing so without letting everyone know what was going on. Control, control, control. She had her way, but she lost two really good friends that weekend. She was the youngest of 8 in her family, and evidently she worked her family this way. If she wanted to spend the weekend at the family cabin on a lake, she would call one sister and tell her to go clean it. The problem was that they all catered to her demands.

This is the kind of person that we think WE can control or over rule, but can cause trouble or put everyone at risk. Power and control will be a BIG issue for most of us. It may be by ruling with an iron fist, having a temper tantrum, or making demands that are unreasonable. We all know those people now.
 
I am voting with Weedygarden on Lazy L son's friend issue. During a true SHTF event, there will enough problems without bringing in a Friend with control issues. Family already has a fairly clearly established leadership hierarchy. The friend will not have learned and demonstrated his agreement to this pattern. Better to exclude the friend and risk losing the son, than risk losing the entire family over the son's friendship.
 
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