When do you quit? serious question here.

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Magus

Magus

The Shaman of suburbia.
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Dec 13, 2017
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Look behind you in that dark corner.
I've been on this Survivalist/Prepper thing since I was old enough to think, right after I heard what an atomic bomb could do and how many we actually had pointed at each other, I've been an anarchist since I had to write the constitution for fighting in class. (God bless you Hubert Phillips wherever you are! He was my shop teacher BTW.)
You see, we have a constitution, but the government seems to want to use it as TP, or in 0bama's case, roll a monster joint in it! And I've been generically a Pagan Since I read the bible and didn't like it or the religion behind it, likely due to all the editing its had, but not entirely. SO, as you see, I'm a quitter, I see something I don't like, I go another way, so far its worked out fairly well, but when do I quit? I mean I literally blew up my TV, I can't stomach the radio anymore, I never did like corporate music or anything else for that matter, and I'm not one to jump on or off a bandwagon without a damned good reason. I've been like this going on 57 years of my life and now life is winding down. I'm a disabled, broke old hermit that lives in a trailer, I don't go anywhere because there's nowhere I want to go, so I really don't care I'm broke until something I need breaks. I've lived my life like this, I've stored ahead on my food, at least six months, I've bought weapons, tools, gear, yadda yadda, But I'm to the point now if I carried my rifle of choice and a forty pound pack to the edge of the property. (5 acres) I'd drop dead! So when do I quit? or do I re-imagine myself and start there? For about 5 years now I've been on here trying to share what I've learned and done, maybe try to save a life or two, get my Karma looking better maybe? LOL but anyway, NOW I need advice, do I pack it in and join society and live my life out in public housing on someone else's terms and just die whenever I get to it or start over in another direction?
 
Magus said:
I've been on this Survivalist/Prepper thing since I was old enough to think, right after I heard what an atomic bomb could do and how many we actually had pointed at each other, I've been an anarchist since I had to write the constitution for fighting in class. (God bless you Hubert Phillips wherever you are! He was my shop teacher BTW.)
You see, we have a constitution, but the government seems to want to use it as TP, or in 0bama's case, roll a monster joint in it! And I've been generically a Pagan Since I read the bible and didn't like it or the religion behind it, likely due to all the editing its had, but not entirely. SO, as you see, I'm a quitter, I see something I don't like, I go another way, so far its worked out fairly well, but when do I quit? I mean I literally blew up my TV, I can't stomach the radio anymore, I never did like corporate music or anything else for that matter, and I'm not one to jump on or off a bandwagon without a damned good reason. I've been like this going on 57 years of my life and now life is winding down. I'm a disabled, broke old hermit that lives in a trailer, I don't go anywhere because there's nowhere I want to go, so I really don't care I'm broke until something I need breaks. I've lived my life like this, I've stored ahead on my food, at least six months, I've bought weapons, tools, gear, yadda yadda, But I'm to the point now if I carried my rifle of choice and a forty pound pack to the edge of the property. (5 acres) I'd drop dead! So when do I quit? or do I re-imagine myself and start there? For about 5 years now I've been on here trying to share what I've learned and done, maybe try to save a life or two, get my Karma looking better maybe? LOL but anyway, NOW I need advice, do I pack it in and join society and live my life out in public housing on someone else's terms and just die whenever I get to it or start over in another direction?
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What other direction could you go?
 
Lighter equipment, maybe go PCC as a main defense, more modern utilities, dehydrated instead of canned supplies. all my equipment is Vietnam era, because that's what I know. If someone handed me a Styer AUG, I'd probably try to smoke pot in it. I've lived on tried and true for decades, but now I'm forced to change and I do not like it!
 
Magus said:
Lighter equipment, maybe go PCC as a main defense, more modern utilities, dehydrated instead of canned supplies. all my equipment is Vietnam era, because that's what I know. If someone handed me a Styer AUG, I'd probably try to smoke pot in it. I've lived on tried and true for decades, but now I'm forced to change and I do not like it!
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I don't like change either! I know I couldn't join society and live under someone else's terms!! I would look hard in other directions!!
 
There is nothing wrong with the old equipment, but some of the new stuff is easier to carry. I think a personal assessment of what you want is the most important thing at this time. I know I am always trying to re-vision what I want to do vs what and I need to do. Then I have to line that up with what I can do, this year I have had to stop and say do I need this or should I give that to one of my kids? I am investing a lot into things that will allow me to live a more controlled lifestyle where I am in control. I have lived in public housing and I would rather have a colonoscopy than live like that again. There is a lot to be said about trying to help others learn, but the hard part is getting others to listen. I think you are feeling the frustrations that most of us are having and it is hard to choose. As we get older we feel we need to get our houses in order, but often our bodies quit before our minds do.

I think of my Great Grandpa, he and Grandma divorced in the 40s and he spent the last years of his life alone, I was lucky because I got to visit with him on a number of occasions. When he died I was part of the group who had to clean out his little trailer, mostly old paperback books and thread bear clothes. But even in his meager circumstances he had pre-paid for his funeral and grave plot, I found that to be an amazing testimony of his character. We also found books with little sticky notes sticking out, they were notes to different people saying that he wanted them to have this book or that and a few words of wisdom for them. We found my name on an old Chilton's manual, along with the keys to a 56 Ford and 5 $20s.
 
I agree with what Urban said about the equipment, imo old is better made, but newer does tend to be easier to carry and sometimes use.

I think we all need to stop and reassess our situations once in a while. And I don't mean just preps or equipment, but also habits, living situation, health (mental and physical), relationships, etc. Taking a good hard look at everything and deciding what is working and what is not then making a plan to improve what's not working is always a good idea. Maybe start there and make smaller changes before jumping right into big changes?
 
UrbanHunter said:
There is nothing wrong with the old equipment, but some of the new stuff is easier to carry. I think a personal assessment of what you want is the most important thing at this time. I know I am always trying to re-vision what I want to do vs what and I need to do. Then I have to line that up with what I can do, this year I have had to stop and say do I need this or should I give that to one of my kids? I am investing a lot into things that will allow me to live a more controlled lifestyle where I am in control. I have lived in public housing and I would rather have a colonoscopy than live like that again. There is a lot to be said about trying to help others learn, but the hard part is getting others to listen. I think you are feeling the frustrations that most of us are having and it is hard to choose. As we get older we feel we need to get our houses in order, but often our bodies quit before our minds do.
Click to expand...


This ^^^, well said.
 
Baby steps. It is easier to change when you break the process down into small incremental steps you can do one at a time rather than one monumental task that appears overwhelming. It doesn't have to be a wholesale change. Just tweak a few things that will make you feel better.

Have you ever seen Jim Valvano's speech: "Don't Give Up" ? Here is a link. It is about 10 minutes long, but you can go to the 8:00 mark and get the context. You have valuable skills and experiences to share that will benefit others. Don't give up. Don't ever give up.

 
The only one I got to teach/give stuff to is my boy in Colorado and they won't let him visit me anymore because I'm a bad influence and practice Sorcery etc.
Really its because I let him make his own screw ups with a minimum of interference and clean up his own messes. I'm NOT wiping a 30 year old man's butt or holding his hand going to the bathroom!
 
Pack light and force yourself to move a little bit every day.
Even it is just a very slow walk with frequent breaks around your property holding only the rifle with one magazine in it.

Or if that is too much just carry a loaded pistol in the holster.
Do it every day, 2 days off per week.

Just a bit of exercise can go a long way.

I been back in exercise for only 2.5 weeks and already have much improved agility speed and strength .
In only 2.5 weeks!

No matter how low you start , experiencing a significant improvement is a great motivator to continue and also in life in general. :archery:
 
Magus said:
The only one I got to teach/give stuff to is my boy in Colorado and they won't let him visit me anymore
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Who is the THEY? If he's 30 years old, the decision to visit or not would be his, unless he is incapacitated in some way.

I am trying to accept the things that I cannot change (which includes some things that I am more unwilling than unable to change).

These days, when I mow the grass, I do the front yard then sit down to rest with a nice glass of cold water. Then I do half of the backyard and repeat the resting. Then I finish the second half of the back yard. I don't have the same stamina or desire to finish it all in one start-to-finish pass, especially when it's 95 degrees out.

We just hired someone two days ago to paint the outside of our house. That's not cheap. But we realized that it would not be prudent for us to try to do it ourselves again, like we have in the past.

I no longer buy three or so new guns every year. I don't exactly need any more, and can't even remember what I've already got.

I have determined that running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to do everything possible, and being forced to eat out all the time because of the running - is not exactly what I am dreaming of anymore. Leisurely reading a book and cooking dinners at home is so much better these days.

I don't want a car that drives itself. I would be scared to ride in it.

The downside of the above is that life is more boring than it used to be. Not a whole lot changes from day to day in my existence. I know that tomorrow will be about the same as today, which is about the same as yesterday. That's a bit sad, but is probably an inevitable part of getting older if you're not in the super active, super motivated, and super fit group (I am not).
 
I will give up after I am so wounded that I can't heal, shot my last bullet into the enemy. As I fall on the detonator I will give up just as the entire area explodes and burns to ashes. I may lose but there won't be any winners.
 
@Magus A couple of things ~ Sounds like you 'rebel' because you actually have values. They might not flow with mainstream so you've evidently taken some flack for that. As far as what to do, as much as any of us would like to help you, we can't make that decision. If you are feeling a bit discouraged, first thing is figure out why/on what grounds. Grumble, go ahead and use potty mouth but then following that is usually an "I oughta just. . . ." or "It can all just. . . ." Then you will most likely know where your center is again. As far as joining the serpents, doubt you'd last long - and I mean that as a compliment.
Thing two: I had some dear friends who are now gone. The gentleman of the two outlived his lovely wife. There were 2-3 of us who kept up with him and tried to keep him out of trouble ;) At 95 years old, the other gal who helped walked in to find him holding a pistol with his knees trying to cock the hammer. She asked what he was doing. His response was if they came a'chargin', he knew he couldn't run and would surely die but wanted to make sure he could get one shot off and have a chance at getting one of them before they got him. That's gumption! I see quite a few such folks on here. Part of why I like y'all 😋
 
My health is what's cramping my style, my back and legs are giving out. I had to give away my beloved wood stove because I can't carry wood anymore and inactivity has given my bum knee an excuse to screw with me. every time I go shopping I'm in bed for three days healing up. I can't stand or sit for more than ten minutes at a time. I had to use propane as heat in my three year retreat from the world, I used to live in the woods, now I can't even walk around Walmart, its driving me nuts! all I do anymore is sleep! sometimes an entire 24 hour day just because I have no reason to get up. If I were a bike, I'd be in a chop shop somewhere, gutted to a frame.
 
More and more stores have the electric carts,,, for good reason.

Knees are a pain, our house is a half basement so it is one half flight up or one half flight down every time I try to do anything.

Right now it is 100 degrees here in montana after having record rainfall and cold temps so the last of our garden is still in the little greenhouse waiting to be planted.

Maybe it's just me but I have also read about "Generativity".....that's where you pass on some of your hard won knowledge and experiences. Unfortunately the younger generation isn't going to beat a path to your door. I just gave a yard sale bike i tuned up to a young worker at the local mini mart deli so he can ride to work. I also have a cafe that has a counter to sit at.......so for the price of a cup of tea or coffee i can at least listen in on some real world happenings and all the better if there is a chatty waitress.
 
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I got up and put a hundred feet away before my leg just quit working, no pain its like it just wasn't there anymore. I made it back to the hooch and here I sit.
 
Magus, I know how you feel about the physical challenges, as I am in the same boat. I tried as long as I could to stay upright and use a cane or walker, but the pain was terrible and it took all my energy, not leaving me any energy to use to live my life. Once I finally accepted the wheelchair, I found life got a lot better. Now my challenge to myself is to see just how many "normal people" things I can do from my chair. The legs from the hips on down may not work, but the rest of me does just fine. I think UrbanHunter's advice to do a personal reassessment is excellent advice! Things change, and we change, too. I've had to re-evaluate my prep plans in light of my mobility issues and my husband's new health issues, and in spite of having to change a number of things, we still have a viable plan that works for our challenges. Two of my favorite military expressions - "adapt, improvise and overcome" and "Embrace the suck" are both very appropriate for your situation. I'll share with you what a very wise person once told me. He said, "Figure out what makes you happy and what you want in your life, and then work towards having and doing those things. The only person who truly controls your life and your destiny is you." It sounds like you need to find a reason to get up each day and do things that bring you joy. Changing directions, adapting to circumstances, and making the choice to do things differently is not quitting - it's simply making your path through life!
 
@Magus - I've enjoyed your marching to your own drummer attitude since I 1st poked my head in the door! Sorry to hear your health is slowing you down, I can emphasize - less than a year ago I was having all sorts of issues myself. I've been lucky that I've been able to bounce back from most of them, but understand the temptation to throw in the towel. Here's my thoughts, as coherent as I can get them down:

1) Medical science (apologies to those members in the medical profession) is either stupid or corrupt a lot of the time. Find forums (medical, natural healing, etc.) where people with the same issues you have who don't have a financial interest in the cure talk about what worked for them. I've never in my 50+ years have a doc tell me to lose weight - however all of my medical complications but one got significantly better when I did. I'm thankful to the forum that suggested it (and my brilliant wife who found it and motivated me into action). I've found youtube videos on PT routines for free I was able to do to strengthen weak areas. There's a lot we can do ourselves - who knows our bodies better than us? My family has had success with this OSINT (open source intelligence) method with everything from asthma to autism, and shingles to sleep apnea.

2) Sometimes the hardest battles are inside our minds. I strongly believe in mind over matter - take the placebo effect for example. Our minds can heal our bodies using fake medicine - and I believe the converse also applies, negativity can affect our physical health. Figure out what works for you to stay positive, and stick with it. Meditation, affirmations, spiritual practices, etc abound. If you need professional help, figure out how to get it. I recently did a course of treatment for my PTSD that I thought I'd never be able to afford, but I sold off a ton of stuff on eBay & FB marketplace including some items I really didn't want to part with. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat, however - it's really helped my state of mind! That being said, there's tons of great material online free for the taking, find what resonates with you and go for it!

3) You don't have to do it alone. I think the responses you have gotten in this thread speak volumes :) There's all sorts of out of the box ways to make things work out. Can you network locally to trade skill instruction for something else? Like teaching reloading for firewood hauling as an example. Can you refurbish some of the vietnam-era equipment for others who aren't familiar with it in exchange for something else?

4) Can you turn a hobby into a way to scrape up some extra cash? Can you refurbish some of the vietnam-era equipment for others who aren't familiar with it? Can you find gig jobs writing online? Everyone has skills that others are lacking in, you just need to figure out how to locate them!

I feel like I've been dishing out way more advice than was asked for in the initial post, but I felt fairly moved to write it all down. Maybe it's for my own good to keep fighting the good fight on #2. I hope it helped and came off as helpful instead of preachy!
 
What about one of those motorized scooters?? Or a utility cart, like a golf cart or 4 wheeler to get around on??
My neighbor found one at a small engine repair shop for $500 bucks..it isnt pretty but so what..it runs. You could put horns on the front or a honkey horn..
I sympathize with you..I'm just getting back on track from some health issues myself. I still am tossing about the idea to sell or possibly might have too at some point.
Somedays I just want to sell everything, buy a new truck n travel ..camp wherever I land n not ever own another place again. It's not easy working full time, taking care of my small homestead all by my aging self.
I always wheel myself back in tho..its paid for, no debt no mortgage no nada. I worked my a$$ off for it n times are getting crazy.
If someday I have too so be it..its not easy tho.
I did have to make some changes though..
Like now..a few years ago..I'd bust my butt all day at the mill, come home and work a few hours here mowing or some project. The place isn't fancy but I kept it tidy, mowed n organized.
Now, if I'm tired..I do the bare minimum after work n like now..sitting on the back porch catching up here n news.
The garden needs tending, the front needs mowing n I've givin myself permission to attend to it tomorrow n not stress over it.
Little stuff has givin me more peace of mind.
 
You can figure out some workarounds, Magus. Figure out one, just one, for something you want to do. Husband had to figure out some big workarounds when we got to our farm. He can barely walk without a walker, and can't walk far because he can't breathe well, and then his leg goes numb because of a cyst in his spine. He was just whining the other day when we went to the ortho doc. They had MRI'd his shoulder, and he can't use his right arm much anymore. Well it's because he tore his rotator 80 percent. No surgery for him because his lungs are bad. No cyst removal so he could walk because his lungs are bad. No anything. So he does workarounds. Installed garage door openers so he pushes a button. He takes the regular scooter out the ramp from our bedroom door. Takes it to the roundtop and can get on the tractor, or the ride em mower to do the work he wants to do. If he wants to ride something around the fields or pasture, he takes the scooter to the little garage and gets on the all terrain scooter. Or he takes it to the other garage he remotely opened, and gets on the ranger, comes around the front yard and picks me up, and we go into town for an ice cream cone. We have ramps on our front and back porch. I like having them, because I can unload groceries from the truck into a wagon and bring it up the ramp and right into the kitchen. Figure out something that would help make your life easier so you can still do the things you want to do.
 
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