When suddenly you find yourself having to prep alone.

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Buttoni

Awesome Friend
Neighbor
Joined
Apr 22, 2022
Messages
805
Location
Central TX
I was just today asking my husband "What if we're at the BOL and we're in a TEOTWAWKI scenario and you have a heart attack (he has A-Fib & T2 diabetes) or some awful illness or injury befalls you? whatever shall I do?" We don't have children. My family are all deceased now. Relatives are clear across the country from us. My husband's siblings barely communicate for a variety of reasons. Our BOL is very remote, quite isolated. Although we know our two neighbors on either side, they are by no means 'near' our place, so we don't know them very well. This is also due to the fact that for 5 years now having owned the property, we have only gone down to the cabin once a month on average, and usually only for a day, maybe two days at best, just to mow and to get a lot of work done sun up to sun set................not to just 'visit with the neighbors'. would that it were different, but it is what it is.

I came across this article just this evening that encouraged me about dealing with TEOTWAWKI alone and thought I'd share:

https://www.sgtreport.com/2022/05/surviving-a-transition-to-solo-prepping-by-jpk/
 
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I was just today asking my husband "What if we're at the BOL and we're in a TEOTWAWKI scenario and you have a heart attack (he has A-Fib & T2 diabetes) or some awful illness or injury befalls you? whatever shall I do?" We don't have children. My family are all deceased now. Relatives are clear across the country from us. My husband's siblings barely communicate for a variety of reasons. Our BOL is very remote, quite isolated. Although we know our two neighbors on either side, they are by no means 'near' our place, so we don't know them very well. This is also due to the fact that for 5 years now having owned the property, we have only gone down to the cabin once a month on average, and usually only for a day, maybe two days at best, just to mow and to get a lot of work done sun up to sun set................not to just 'visit with the neighbors'. would that it were different, but it is what it is.

I came across this article just this evening that encouraged me about dealing with TEOTWAWKI alone and thought I'd share:

https://www.sgtreport.com/2022/05/surviving-a-transition-to-solo-prepping-by-jpk/
That article is a true reminder on what life may be. . . My Hunny is in tip top shape for his age of 70 and doesn't have to take any medications, yet he is also 21 1/2 years older than me and that makes me "worried". I have boys within a 20 minute drive and 1 is a heavy equipment operator so I know he is good for taking hay to the goats and cows along with cleaning out the pole barns.
 
Adopt a family that wants a BoL.

Now there's a possibility I'd not thought of. My best friend of 50 years is a widow, but I'm sure she and her two sons, one is a prepper, (and the 2 grandchildren) will be hunkered down at her ranch in Lampasas. We still celebrat Thanksgiving together in Lampasas.

My sister-in-law in Dallas would likely come down to my cabin, but would offer little help in a TEOTWAWKI situation. She's the one that doesn't know how to cook smoked sausage after all, (but she owns a gun! Scary, huh?). Admits she has never used it, so I doubt she would be of much use other than moral support, avoiding loneliness and a false sense of security in numbers through it all. Everytime she says she wants to come to our cabin and practice target shooting, she can't seem to find the time to DO IT!

So if I did adopt a family that needs a BOL, they would be virtual strangers. Most of our closest friends made during our working years in Galveston, sad to say, have passed on (we're in our 70's) and the few still living still live down on the Texas Gulf Coast, anyway. Our immediate neighbors here in the city are our best friends now. Though a couple of them are prepper types, they all have grown children with families of their own in other cities and would likely go shelter with their families rather than shelter in place. My husband has a close friend in Georgetown that is an Army contractor at Ft. Hood (soon to retire). He would be a good asset from his training standpoint, and his marksman skills, but he would most likely shelter in place with his unmarried daughter evacuating New York City through any social/economic crisis.

I do think a lot about this 'all alone' possibility though and how I might handle it. Things may just play out that way for me.
 
Girl I can totally understand. If a young couple, that you are willing to adopt comes along, maybe that could be an option. At this point in life I would have to fully vex and then still be very leery of anyonme who wanted to take on both Hunny and I's everyday life. It's hard work and some very long hours. Can I actually do everything around here, yeah, if I absolutely HAD too unless it is mechanical. I am lacking in that area and my sweet Hunny can just rig things together to make it work until it can get "fixed".
 
Yeah, it's the mechanical stuff I would have problems with. I know zip about plumbing, electrical, machinery, the well & pump. I'm good with small power tools and yard tools and that's about it. Not afraid to use a gun and I'm not a bad shot, but only with pistols. Not so good with his rifles, but have used two of them once or twice, at his insistance, just to get a feel for them.
 
Yeah, it's the mechanical stuff I would have problems with. I know zip about plumbing, electrical, machinery, the well & pump. I'm good with small power tools and yard tools and that's about it. Not afraid to use a gun and I'm not a bad shot, but only with pistols. Not so good with his rifles, but have used two of them once or twice, at his insistance, just to get a feel for them.
I would be learning as much as you can from your Hunny man as you can while you can right now. That is what I have started doing while he is out doing projects. This actually includes him helping out a friend's during his rent house remodels. After work. I bring them lunch. . It really would be hard to imagine a life with out my sweet hunny and in all honesty he could never be replaced in my heart.
 
I'm pretty much in the same boat. Been prepping for myself for a long time. My GF not so much but she gets the point of it. Like I said when I first got here that no man is an island. I don't know everything and never will. But I do know enough to keep myself alive when things go south. Adopt a family seems like a good idea if they are willing to work together with you. All I can do is hold my own.
 
Actually it’s scenario every prepper has to think about.
If something happened to me it would be tough road to travel for her. Taking care of place and animals might just be too much. I have left written instructions around-how to hookup the genset, how to reset well pump, etc. Notes are all around. Her kids are 500 miles away and would be worthless.
If something happened to her, I have a plan. Back east, a couple hours from my kids in a Red state. If it’s TEOTWAWKI I hang on here twice as long with my preps. I unfortunately have had too think about outliving her too much in the past couple years.
 
As most of you know, I am the prepper in the family. When I have people here fixing things, I always ask to watch so that I can learn how. So far, everyone has been very cooperative.

As far as heavy lifting, I have learned to utilize the little red wagon and wheel barrow as much as possible. I learned how to place the 50# feed bags across the top of the shopping cart so they can be rolled off into the SUV instead of lifting from the ground. When I get home, I roll them out of the SUV onto the wagon so I can pull instead of lift.

My son helps with lifting as much as possible, but can only do so much. I have moderate to severe back pain daily, so the lifting is not fun.
 
Actually it’s scenario every prepper has to think about.
If something happened to me it would be tough road to travel for her. Taking care of place and animals might just be too much. I have left written instructions around-how to hookup the genset, how to reset well pump, etc. Notes are all around. Her kids are 500 miles away and would be worthless.
If something happened to her, I have a plan. Back east, a couple hours from my kids in a Red state. If it’s TEOTWAWKI I hang on here twice as long with my preps. I unfortunately have had too think about outliving her too much in the past couple years.
I have made a binder for my daughter and son in law concerning how things work around here. I have left instructions for planting and canning, chickens and bees, how to fix the pool and hot tub, etc. Don't know if they will use it or just throw everything away.
 
I have made a binder for my daughter and son in law concerning how things work around here. I have left instructions for planting and canning, chickens and bees, how to fix the pool and hot tub, etc. Don't know if they will use it or just throw everything away.
Good idea. I printed out instructions put in binder plastic and put above well pump, by the Gen cord Etc.
 
@robinjopo i think both our ideas combined are the way to go. A one step reference book and Separate notes.
When I was evacuated from a wildfire, my note in the shed gave enough info for a Sherrif to start my Gen to get water to the ponies.
 
nobody ever said we'd get to carry thru with our prepper plan >> we might be taken out on Day One - maybe Hour One ....

if your complete detailed plan isn't laid out in binders and accessible by your family/group - plan has a huge flaw >> YOU ...

whoever is home or first capable of getting home needs to start on the checklist of procedures for the particular SHTF that is occurring >>> between the laid out plan and previous prep training - everyone should be able to carry on as an individual ....
 
I was just today asking my husband "What if we're at the BOL and we're in a TEOTWAWKI scenario and you have a heart attack (he has A-Fib & T2 diabetes) or some awful illness or injury befalls you? whatever shall I do?" We don't have children. My family are all deceased now. Relatives are clear across the country from us. My husband's siblings barely communicate for a variety of reasons. Our BOL is very remote, quite isolated. Although we know our two neighbors on either side, they are by no means 'near' our place, so we don't know them very well. This is also due to the fact that for 5 years now having owned the property, we have only gone down to the cabin once a month on average, and usually only for a day, maybe two days at best, just to mow and to get a lot of work done sun up to sun set................not to just 'visit with the neighbors'. would that it were different, but it is what it is.

I came across this article just this evening that encouraged me about dealing with TEOTWAWKI alone and thought I'd share:

https://www.sgtreport.com/2022/05/surviving-a-transition-to-solo-prepping-by-jpk/

I was just thinking about that the other day.
My main concern would be me dying first. While the Wife is capable with a gun she doesnt have the mindset to be able to shoot someone until it's too late.
Me? If the SHTF I'm going to go with the old if they're knocking on my door they're here with an ill intent mindset.
I'd like to think I've knocked that thought process out of Her head by now after an attempted home invasion years back. Had I not gone to the door with an sawed off 870 hidden behind the door jam it would have turned out way different.
Had four mexican/South americans standing on my porch wanting to use the phone because their car supposedly broke down in front of the house.
When I told the Wife to bring me the cordless they became agitated. At that point I knew for sure what their intent was. As soon as I dropped that 870 barrel into their line of sight they were falling all over themselves to get back in that supposedly broken down car and getting the hell out of there. They didnt even bother to shut the hood.

If she were to die before me I'd probably get a little reckless. After 30 plus years of marriage I wouldnt know what to do without Her.
Things that were once important would be forgotten since She was the main thing that made everything else important.
 
Girl I can totally understand. If a young couple, that you are willing to adopt comes along, maybe that could be an option. At this point in life I would have to fully vex and then still be very leery of anyonme who wanted to take on both Hunny and I's everyday life. It's hard work and some very long hours. Can I actually do everything around here, yeah, if I absolutely HAD too unless it is mechanical. I am lacking in that area and my sweet Hunny can just rig things together to make it work until it can get "fixed".

On the plus side you could let it be known that you're the only one who knows how to take care of the livestock and produce food.
Of course thats not an ironclad deal that would stop them from just taking everything but it would be a bit of a deterrent.
 
The Wife and I are the only family we have left in our area.
I do have an older brother not far from here but he's a worthless slug that I wouldnt trust to do anything of importance.
He's a full time drunk who'd trade a bucket of long term food for a bottle of whiskey.
I of course know he hasnt done a damn thing to prepare for an emergency.
I do have a buddy that knows we prep and while he gets it he's not in a financial position to do much on his own.
He's the only person we've invited to come and hole up with us. We know he'll pull his weight and he knows how to shoot ,hunt and fish so he'd be an asset at the BOL where he also has a place.
It sure would be hard for two people to protect things let alone one person.
 
Yeah, it's the mechanical stuff I would have problems with. I know zip about plumbing, electrical, machinery, the well & pump.
I am in the middle of making my wife learn how to prime and run the water pump, how the mower and rototiller work and where the circuit breakers are for each room and such. But, she has so little strength in her right arm that everything is hard, even just washing windows. She can do some garden work for about 2 hours and after that she is done for the day. I have no limits of work or problems with the plus 100°F temps. The problem is, I got a job offer after 5 years in Germany and will be going there monthly to make more money and she will be here with only some help from the neighbor gypsy and his family. It will be an advantage to have made friends with them now.

I was just today asking my husband "What if we're at the BOL and we're in a TEOTWAWKI scenario and you have a heart attack (he has A-Fib & T2 diabetes) or some awful illness or injury befalls you? whatever shall I do?" We don't have children.
I do have 2 kids and 3 grandkids, but I do not see them leaving Germany to live here anytime soon. The grandkids are slowly learning Hungarian and will enjoy vacations here. Whether they will want to live here in the future....?????
The house and land is paid for and the taxes are paid for the next 5 years in advance. They could sell it and each one would get about $20k, but that is not the idea of a BOL. The land is good, the water is free and the garden produces good non-GMO food with only heirloom seeds that keep coming up yearly without planting. We let the carrots, dill, sunflowers, onions, small potatos and garlic seeds just fall or stay in place and they come up again all spaced out and healthy now after only 2 years. Getting a new partner after SHTF or in TEOTWAWKI will not be hard, just a question of how good they will act and how much help they will be. (tip: keep a bit of arsenic hidden away...)
 
As most of you know, I am the prepper in the family. When I have people here fixing things, I always ask to watch so that I can learn how. So far, everyone has been very cooperative.

As far as heavy lifting, I have learned to utilize the little red wagon and wheel barrow as much as possible. I learned how to place the 50# feed bags across the top of the shopping cart so they can be rolled off into the SUV instead of lifting from the ground. When I get home, I roll them out of the SUV onto the wagon so I can pull instead of lift.

My son helps with lifting as much as possible, but can only do so much. I have moderate to severe back pain daily, so the lifting is not fun.

I have learned to do such things re: lifting, too. I'd be lost without my wagon and large wheelbarrow at our BOL. I, too, have major DDD back issues plus considerable hand limitations due to arthritis and prior wrist surgeries on both. But I manage most things OK with 'assist' tools.

I also watch workmen to learn things. I play the 'dumb/curious housewife role well. My husband refuses to do that as he thinks it makes workmen nervous with people watching over their shoulders. TBQH. he doesn't even like ME watching HIM work on stuff around the house, so I just get out of his way when he's fixing things.

I even recently figured out how to STOP a commercial-style tankless pressure toilet flushing non-stop late one night. While he was off on the phone trying to get a plumber at 9pm, I figured there HAD to be a way to get inside the cylinder. Finally found the 'entrance' and a large screw-like disk. Turned it with a penny and the water slowed. Turned further and water stopped. So I guess I can do what I have to in an emergency. But the actual fix required a plumber the next day. THAT part was over my head. My 'logical' mind has saved us more than once in emergencies.

I do have tons of PDF's on a thumb drive of numerous prep/homestead 'How To' articles on key topics. Can always run laptop or desktop on our solar charger, or gen setup for a quick read. I also have lots of hard copy manuals/books at the BOL on key homesteading/self-sufficiency topics. None of those skills come natural, to me OR my husband. He can't teach me what he doesn't know. What can I say? Some men are handy themselves with fix-it jobs; some hire the work done (my husband). His father taught him nothing about cars, electrical or plumbing, but my husband was more into books, not doing/learning manual stuff. As a World History teacher for 32 years, few opportunities presented themselve for learning much about manual stuff. My father the fighter pilot could fix/make anything around the house and was happy for you to watch/learn. But I didn't marry my father. :)
 
I have made a binder for my daughter and son in law concerning how things work around here. I have left instructions for planting and canning, chickens and bees, how to fix the pool and hot tub, etc. Don't know if they will use it or just throw everything away.
I've done that, too. Tons of stuff gathered on the internet, printed & saved in files at the BOL. Heck, years ago I made such a binder for my executor called "Instructions upon death" outlining our estate/property/assets in event I outlive my husband. He is an attorney and also is my nephew, so I trust him impicitly with such information. He was most appreciative and said he was taking my lead & planned to do the same. My father did the same for me, which was a God send when he died.
 
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Buttoni and Danil54grl:
You two are both in Texas. You both talk about the need to expand your contacts. I know Texas is large, but is it silly for me to state the obvious that perhaps you two should meet and see how much you can help each other?
 
Buttoni, I can understand your thoughts and fears. My husband is older than myself, but not that much older. Still, one never knows what is going to happen. Keep your eyes open for an option that suits you best. Do not feel rushed because you could make a bad decision. Talk to your friends and find out exactly what their plans are. We have a neighbor who just lost her husband and we very much intend to take her in when things get bad and dangerous. Get to know your BOL neighbors better. All of these things will help you in the future.
 
Life is like a revolving door, somewhat similar on every revolution. But, with small changes at each round. How we adapt to those changes( opportunities) determines our positioning for the next revolution. As always ,with every challenge comes new opportunities. A level head and accepting those challenges makes life wonderful. I hope you enjoy all of yours.
 
Not afraid to use a gun and I'm not a bad shot, but only with pistols. Not so good with his rifles, but have used two of them once or twice, at his insistance, just to get a feel for them.


Get a Ruger 10/22. It is beginner friendly and will allow you to gain experience with a rifle. You can then move up when your ready. The factory Ruger 25rnd magazines are awesome. The other aftermarket magazines suck. Just a suggestion.
 
Join a local Prepper group that meets regularly. Get exposure while checking out members interested in a BOL.

If you make contact meet at a restaurant until you come to formal agreement on what each expects.
When that family has skin in the game then disclose location.

Be sure to agree on what happens if the new party shows up with more unplanned for and unprepared kin.

If there is no local group create one and have a website for it. If you need free help contact me.
 
My fear is always, why wouldn't they just shoot me and take over? They are the family and I am just the odd man out. Their family has boyfriends and girlfriends, and friends, and... Doubt they would be listening to me for long in that scenario.
Why? No one shoots a fully skilled grandma that cares for her crew or family.
 
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Why. No one shoots a fully skilled grandma that cares for her crew or family.
Firstly, "Helen" is not a woman.
Secondly, you are assuming people are acting rationally. I suggest your statement is better worded, "No one rational shoots a fully skilled person that cares for their crew or family."
 
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