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I'd take her home and clean her up - I'd bet she cleans up real good- I'm just a nice guy like that.
 
Amish Heart said:
Albuquerque had their first storytime for kids with drag queens.
Click to expand...
Drag queens CAN be amusing... as long as they are dragged behind a pickup going 45MPH or faster.
 
The store clerk called an ambulance when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters!
Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
 
Four soon to be fathers are sitting in the maternity waiting room.

The duty nurse comes to the first father and tells him that he is the pround father of twins. What a coincidence, he exclaims. I work for the Minnestota Twins Baseball Club.

A few moments later the nurse comes back and tells the second father he is the proud father of triplets. That is a great coincidence he says. I work for 3M.

A little while later the nurse is back telling the third father he is the proud father of quadruplets. Another great coincidence exclaims the father. I work for 4 Seasons Inns & Resorts.

Suddenly the fourth father jumps up and starts beating his head against the wall and crying. What is the matter asks the nurse? I work for 7UP cries the man.
 
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