Advice to a young Dad

[Frodo]

Dang it
Boy could not keep it His pants,
Girl friend is knocked up

My advice to him

 

[Cascadian]

My advice to new dads is try not to hand out punishments when you are mad. For instance saying that's it we are not going to the fair. Only to realize later you really wanted to go. Now no one can. I would tell my boys you are grounded! Naturally they would say for how long? To which I would answer, do you want me to decide now or after I calm down? They would say oh it's fine take your time.

 

[Dani]

My Wow is not for your advise for your son. I just realize what this means for your family. I don't know from either a male or female kid of my own, but I am familair in the same situation. Basically, female perspective. This may be hard for your family to accept, but could also turn into a complete Blessing.

 

[Biggkidd]

Lesson I learned as single father of two is parents learn more from their kids and as time goes on tend to do better with each younger child. In other words they learn from the mistakes they made the first time / with the oldest child and so on.

 

[Caribou]

A grandkid on the way, what a blessing. Congratulations!

 

[Magus]

Raise the kid around REAL PEOPLE Like war veterans, people who own their own businesses, and for the love of the gods, home-school it! I was home-schooled. I entered third grade with the educational equivalent of a graduate. By the third grade, I was at a college level and the government was watching my development!

 

[lonewolf]

you reap what you sow, in this case literally, no sympathy should have used a condom.

 

[sonya123]

my advice to you tell him to not lie to his kids, be honest with them from the start
no protecting them from the truth ever, and teaching them what life is like from the start, you have to counteract the wokism around them from the beginning.
but this would be my advice for any parent not just young dad
the other thing would be to enjoy the kid while baby, it gets harder as they get older

 

[Aklogcabin]

My advice would be to always be straight up . Don't mix words. And spend as much time with them as possible. Try your best at teaching them everything you know and whatever they want to try. Be a leader that is trusted and respected because you earned it.

 

[Canon29]

Hi, young dad here.

My advice is don't listen to all the morons who tell you it's hard, its not. I've done extremely difficult things, this ain't it- this is what I want to come back to after I've beaten myself down doing things that are actually difficult.

It's only hard if you make bad decisions. Structure your life around the responsibility and embrace it. Take the task as a challenge and crush it. Don't be a pansy. Think about all the complaints parents make like: I'm tired, I don't have free time, it's expensive. Don't look at those things like omens, look at them like failures and excuses for not making good decisions (which includes all the hardwork of communicating and really getting on the same page with your wife).

Put the "hard stuff" then into perspective with real suffering. I doubt many men on the western front would have minded a caring for a crying baby as they were shelled by the Germans for weeks on end- I doubt many men would mind changing a diaper compared to plowing a field without modern tools, I doubt many men would mind having to listen to but of crying while living their modern life (ac and plumbing included) compared to being half starved and braving a mountain pass with Indians chasing you for your scalp...

compare your suffering to real suffering and grow some ******* balls, have some damn tenacity and don't let yourself be defeated by a friggin infant.

It turns out when you prepare, make good decisions, stop making excuses and get into the right mental space- parenthood ends up being nothing but a joy and the most fulfilling experience of your life. I ******* love it. He ought to be excited.

.02

 

[Magpie]

Good point raised by Canon29 there- it's important you and your partner are either on the same page or at least display a united front.
My WOW - don't expect each child to be the same; I've four, and they are all different
Be a parent first, you can be their friend when they are older
Money is earned
Manners take you anywhere
Cooking is not a skill only females should know, it's a practical life lesson for everyone
Other people are not your servants. As soon as mine could walk, they put their own clothes in the laundry basket. The only clothes I pick up are my own.

 

[Aklogcabin]

Well I'm no moron. And my ball are just fine. I do believe that hard times do happen. As parents we decided that we wanted to homeschool our kids. This meant only having one income in our family. I spent a lot of time working. And when not working I was hunting n fishing n gardening to feed our family. All very hard work. We lost our home in a forest fire. I worked 18 hr days so I could get my family into a home. I took being a dad seriously and worked very hard to make it happen.
Compared to what I see how some folks work to provide for their families, I would not say that they don't have any balls but are probably lazy.
The easiest things to teach a child is that hard work is OK. And to embrace it. They learn from their parents and how hard they work to make sure that their families are warm n fed. And mostly that they are loved. No matter what.
Give your kids all the love you can muster up. Including how hard you may have to work to make sure they are happy n healthy. And you will have good kids. Yes life can be hard

 

[winds-of-change]

Don’t ever say anything you aren’t willing to carry out. ALWAYS follow through so the kids know when you say it, you mean it.

 

[Aklogcabin]

Along with follow through. Explain why you are punishing them. Always close the loop, per say. Tell them that you love them and appreciate them. They are good people who make some bad decisions. Don't berate anyone or anywhere. You need to set examples

 

[joel]

do not give advice to anyone not in my immediate family, unless ask.
This is because everyone else does & after a day or so it is just a loud blur, like monkeys' in a tree & about as helpful.
Sometimes a good book says it all.
Every new mother gets tons of advice, but we give a book like "Baby Wise" or "Dr.Mom" .

 

[Mountain trapper]

The only advice my father ever gave me; never let the girl know where you live, and only get "married" by the hour.

 

[Bluetick21]

As a dad of 4. That’s great advice! @Frodo

I remember what my dad said when we found out we were having our first.
“Well…good luck “

 

[Morgan101]

Put your family first. Not your career. Not your interests or hobbies. Always be there for them. Always be supportive.

 

[lonewolf]

only advice my dad ever gave me when I first got married : " dont get into debt".

 

[FarmOR]

Put your family first. Not your career. Not your interests or hobbies. Always be there for them. Always be supportive.

I have a hard time with this one. Please, Hear me out?

In my previous lifetime, working for the man and saving for the homestead, I did quite a bit of flying. Nevertheless, I always paid attention to the flight attendants during the preflight safety review.

And they made it a point to stress every single time: "put your own oxygen mask on first! Help your loved ones second."

I've thought about this alot. And it applies broadly to your life purpose. You are no good to anyone if you can't even support yourself. There are times in life that you must prioritize your industry over your family and friends. Not all times! But don't get stuck on a dogma and always sacrifice your industry for your self righteousness? I don't mean offense, but I've see this alot.

"if good intentions were all that mattered, the Samaritans would not be so important. They had money too..." Margaret Thatcher

 

[Morgan101]

I have a hard time with this one. Please, Hear me out?

In my previous lifetime, working for the man and saving for the homestead, I did quite a bit of flying. Nevertheless, I always paid attention to the flight attendants during the preflight safety review.

And they made it a point to stress every single time: "put your own oxygen mask on first! Help your loved ones second."

I've thought about this alot. And it applies broadly to your life purpose. You are no good to anyone if you can't even support yourself. There are times in life that you must prioritize your industry over your family and friends. Not all times! But don't get stuck on a dogma and always sacrifice your industry for your self righteousness? I don't mean offense, but I've see this alot.

"if good intentions were all that mattered, the Samaritans would not be so important. They had money too..." Margaret Thatcher

We can respectfully agree to disagree. I have seen way to many people, myself included, who considered their careers to be of more importance than their families. IMHO that is a huge mistake. You are of no concern and no importance to anybody you are working for. They will throw you out like yesterday's trash if you no longer suit their purpose, or you no longer fit into their plans, or budget. You would not believe what I gave to a previous employer thinking I was being the good and valued employee. When downsizing came, for nothing other than monetary reasons, I was one a several hundred who were cut loose. After that I realized the folly of my behaviour, and I never gave that level of dedication to any employer again.

I understand what you are saying. Using the Airline analogy, you have to take care of yourself first, so you can make sure you can take care of others. Again, JMHO there are many ways to do this without losing sight of your priorities.

 

[LadyLocust]

To any new parents, I would say:
Don’t give up and raise your children to be someone who you enjoy being around.

 

[angie_nrs]

Children will imprint on the parents. So, if the parents are God loving, caring, honorable, respectful, and polite people, the children often are too. However, the opposite is also true. It's important to teach about Jesus and good manners and all of that, but if you don't live it, it won't mean much. Kids can spot a fake a mile away and you can't fake out a kid that lives with you. Sooner or later they'll choose their own path, but at least you can try to start them down the right road.

It's all starts with genuine caring and love. If dad has those qualities, that's one heck of a good start!