How much time together

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phideaux

phideaux

Old fashioned
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Just a thought about spouses spending time together.

Amish heart got me to thinking back when I retired as her hubby will be retiring in about 2 1/2 months.

I was not home much when I was working., Sometimes for a week at a time, traveling. Even working locally, it was long days.
So my wife has never worked outside the home , and we didn't spend a lot of time together. Weekends mostly.

It took quite a while for both of us to adjust to me being under foot day and night ...being TOGETHER 24/7.

I've been retired since 2001, almost 19 years. We do everything together ,I doubt there's ever more than 1-2 hrs a week we aren't together. Seems we just don't do anything without each other.

I know there are folks here that will be facing retirement and I just thought about the change your going to go through .

Just my thoughts .

Jim
 
My story is similar to yours. I traveled a lot for work and I would be gone for several days or sometimes weeks at a time. That's not counting the time I was in the Navy where I would be gone for up to 9.5 months at a time. Now that I'm retired I am here 24/7. The wife seems to have adjusted OK. I do a lot more around the house now. Things she has trouble doing because of her arthritis and stomach issues. I will say I do drive her nuts at times because I do things differently than she would. I also like to cook and I even clean up after myself which she likes, I think. I will not load the dishwasher, I wash dishes by hand.
My wife does go on weekend trips almost every month to see her brother, sisters and our kids. She also goes on her sister trip every year for 4 or 5 days.
It's an adjustment but I really enjoy being home even if we do get on each other's nerves occasionally.:)
 
My wife and I go to sleep together every night holding hands and talking about our days. We then wake up and start our days together every morning. While we both work and are generally busy people, we always carve out time and prioritize each other. We have a monthly lunch date and a monthly dinner date, we attend marriage group and church services together, and while we do get to watch a few shows together every week - more often than not we just turn off the TV and internet devices and talk to each other. We are the consummate team. We cook together, clean together, coordinate activities together, budget together, are sometimes lazy together, decorate for the holidays together, etc. I imagine retirement will be just like now only with far fewer dependents running around and more time for activities like shooting and massages (together and separately). Although I will be retired years before she will, so I may have to adapt to her being underfoot when she finally stop working. ;) All I know is she plans on traveling a lot when she retires, so I will have to try and find it within me to leave the safe confines of the Midwest and explore other places. Just not places like Iran, California, Syria, Washington, Venezuela, or New York. I have to learn to be more adventurous, not go insane.
 
backlash said:
... Now that I'm retired I am here 24/7...
It's an adjustment but I really enjoy being home even if we do get on each other's nerves occasionally.:)
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I snore so we sleep in separate bedrooms. Technically we are only together 14/7.
...Which is just enough to keep her from splitting my skull with a frying pan:).
 
Before we sold our house and bought a used RV in 2002, we both had separate businesses and didn't spend much time together. Boy, was that a shock! From a 4 bedroom house to a 30 foot RV! To make it more interesting, we did not know how we were going to make ends meet or where we were going, just that we knew if we kept doing the next right thing, God would make it work. And He did. We were together most of the time for a year or so before we figured out the work situation and there were control issues, but we got through and that and had a blast for 9 years before we settled down again!
 
"Technically" husband says he's not retiring, just working from home (and then from the farm) two days a week. But he won't be going into work every day. When we met, nearly 40 years ago, we were working in the same office, so we were used to seeing each other all the time. He doesn't work on Fridays, so we go to breakfast and run errands together. His "habitat", so to speak, is in his home office, which is in our bedroom. When he is home, he is there 95% percent of the time. He does not walk well. My "habitat" is in the kitchen mostly, but I'm also outside a lot. I clean up the bedroom in the morning, and don't go in much till after suppertime. I get him outside as much as possible to soak up the sun. It's good for him. We get along fine when he's home, always have. Never argue. When he is at work, like today, we usually talk and text at least 4 or 5 times during the day. I suppose when he starts working from home in February, I'll use one of those days to do the grocery shopping and weekly errands. He can't be interrupted much when he's working.
 
Hubby and I went from working at separate jobs - so seeing each other evenings and weekends but apart all day, to now working together so together 24/7 so to speak. There have been some adjustments for both of us, but I can honestly say there is nobody I would rather "adjust" with:) We work well together and live well together. We value each other and respect how the other feels or sees things so if there is a glitch, we work through it. Looking forward to retiring together as well. Not sure many couples get that experience.
 
I guess my point was ....
There is an adjustment to make for both when it comes to being side by side 24/7.
Especially without any work schedules, or any schedules much at all.

We never have real solid schedule, other than doctors, clinic, hospital appointments.

Oh , btw we didnt have any problems either , it just was adjusting ourselves to having a partner all the time. Now I don't know how to act without her.

Jim
 
My parents experienced a suddenly clash when they retired. My dad was retired for about 5 years before my mom, and she worked out of town so she had a 45 minute commute. They were together on the weekends and a few hours in the evening, but both had ample time away from each other and were members of various civic groups, had hobbies, etc. When my mom retired my dad would complain that she was always trying to take care of him, my mom would complain that my dad wouldn't let her do anything for him. It was actually kind of funny but it didn't take too long for them to become two peas in a pod. Now you rarely see or talk to one without the other right there too.
 
The Japanese have a word for a spouse that retires and is home 24/7. It translates to, that wet leaf you can't sweep off the walkway. She asked me to create an email for her when she retired and couldn't use her State email anymore. She regrets telling me that story before requesting a new email address.
 
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I am retiring in 8 months, if nothing happen.
But I still will have thing to do, but it matters not, because DW will still be working for four to six years.
She has more education & a higher paying job then I, but refued to put money in an IRA or 401k-plan.
So no early retirement for her.
I guess I could work till I am 62, but I need to build hog pins, padocks, duck pond & work sheds, greenhouse.
That a young mans job, but I will give it my best as soon as I can.
 
Mentioned this thread to my wife, she sent me this:

77089340_627923464690318_985972487974027264_n.jpg
 
I retired at 52. And wife and I had no problems. My wife for several years spent the summers at her folk's place 2000 miles away. That caused no problems either. When her folks got ill she spent 9 months there but still no problems between us. So we can live together or apart without issues.
Of course it helps that I am an incredibly sweet guy.
 
The whole time we've been married I've worked a ton of overtime,so we'd get a few hours in the evening and some weekends. As we've gotten older the OT has slowed way down. The wife usually works 2 days a week so she's home a lot more than me still. She will probably work some if her health allows until I retire in 5 years. We do a lot of stuff together now and I expect that will continue.
 
Sentry18 said:
Mentioned this thread to my wife, she sent me this:

View attachment 29742
Click to expand...

Tell her I agree with her. Hubby been easing into retirement. He has so much leave built up that he has been working 3 days a week and running up and down the mountain with me working on the house. Just to keep the sanity, hubby will have his workshop and the barn will be mine.
 
we are together most of the time apart from when we are not, wife is often away for a day at a time, sometimes as much as a week as she does research for her book writing, I enjoy the time alone.
 
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