Rant for the Day (keep it clean)

Homesteading & Country Living Forum

Help Support Homesteading & Country Living Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Me too, how concerned should I be about her cheese sliding off her cracker? Not entirely kidding.🤔

Oh, I've got a wife at home
I've got a wife at home
I've got a wife, she's the apple of my life
But I wish she would leave me alone

When I hear
Hang your clothes up
Wipe your feet off
Goodness sake, don't slam the door
Fix the sockets, dry the dishes
Can't you do a single chore?
Hang the picture
Set the table
Don't drop ashes on the floor
Heat the bottle
Change the baby
She don't love me anymore

She don't love her anymore
There she goes right out the door
She'll be back 'bout half-past ten
And then she'll start right in again

Oh, I've got a wife at home
I've got a wife at home
I've got a wife, she's the apple of my life
But I wish she would leave me alone
 
Granddaughters. I am tired of telling the little one to "clean your room". Asking, "Is your room clean?" What happens from half a day till dinner in that room is shocking.
The sixteen year old one...I am tired of asking, "Are you wearing that"? or "You're Not Wearing That". Time to lose clothes from the washer again. She is on her way with her Papa to the bigger town to get her driver permit. I am out doing chickens, and I have to ask her if she's wearing that. Her answer? Granny, if they take a picture, they'll only see from the neck up.
 
Granddaughters. I am tired of telling the little one to "clean your room". Asking, "Is your room clean?" What happens from half a day till dinner in that room is shocking.
The sixteen year old one...I am tired of asking, "Are you wearing that"? or "You're Not Wearing That". Time to lose clothes from the washer again. She is on her way with her Papa to the bigger town to get her driver permit. I am out doing chickens, and I have to ask her if she's wearing that. Her answer? Granny, if they take a picture, they'll only see from the neck up.
Not saying this is your granddaughter, but, something I learned.
I learned this when a student was diagnosed with ADD or a learning disability or something. A visual list helps some people. 1. Bed made. 2. Dirty clothes in the laundry 3. Trash emptied 4. Floor cleared 5. Desktop Cleared 6. Dresser top cleared 7. Floor swept/vacuumed/etc. 8. Dirty dishes to the kitchen.

My daughter has ADD and needs lists like this. But then, kids do their own thing and do all the fun stuff first.
 
Granddaughters. I am tired of telling the little one to "clean your room". Asking, "Is your room clean?" What happens from half a day till dinner in that room is shocking.

My oldest was the worst, he had so many toys (grandma's fault) and you couldn't walk in the room because they were piled in the center of the floor. I begged and pleaded with him to clean it. Then at dinner I told him, if your room is not clean when I get home from work tomorrow I am going to clean it and you are not going to like it.... Well when I got home his room was still the same mess it had been for weeks. I went in there with a roll of contractor bags and a shovel, removed any clothes or shoes, then started shoveling the bags full, anything touching the carpet went into the bags. Then I put the bags in the trunk of the car, took him out, put him in the passenger seat, and drove to the GoodWill drop box. I deposited the bags with him watching in disbelief and went home.... his room stayed clean for a while and he never let me clean it again...
 
When our sons were around 10 or 12 they didn't want to clean their room. I offered to do it for them. I backed the truck up took the screen out and started tossing stuff out the window into the truck. I mostly tossed the broken toys. I didn't ever have to help again. OMG that therapy was priceless for me.
 
Little one's mom brings junk to her when she visits, junk from the junk store. Mom lives homeless most of the time, so you can imagine. I go in there with bags all the time. If it doesn't fit in the room, it goes to the thrift store. But we have one thrift store, and granddaughter likes to look around in there, and has many times seen her stuff. Ha. Her room can be clean in the morning, and it's trashed by midday. Her mom was/is a mess so teaching her to keep things clean is challenging in the last year or so she's lived with us. Cleaning the room before the tv can go on helps. I just hate to keep yelling about it every single day. Husband is a packrat mess, I don't need three other little messes.
 
Oh I hate when I can't find my tools (or stuff in general). It doesn't help that my memory has gone to absolute $#!+. I will set something down and then a few seconds later can't remember where it was and can't seem to find it. I have had to buy replacement tools and objects because I can't for the life of me find them. I never did find some of the things that disappeared after the raccoons invaded. I found a couple of things outside but not all of the missing items.

Pearl, I agree with you on this one. As far back as I can remember I never wanted kids. I never wanted to get married either. I just didn't see it as something I would enjoy. I'm perfectly fine with my 4-legged babies though.

On the cleaning front, my brother was never made to clean his room as a kid. He's 41 and still doesn't clean his room. Only time his room has been cleaned in his whole life was when someone else did it for him. He might "help" a little by holding a trash bag open or opening a door and literally shoving his stuff out into the hallway. That's how he cleaned his room the last time. Just shoved all of his dirty clothes and stuff out the door and cluttered the hallway to the laundry room up so badly that I have trouble walking through without tripping. I have tripped several times. I can't even get my own laundry to the laundry room now because I can't climb over that mess while carrying things. I'd shove it all out the back door but he has it piled against the back door so I can't open it. My back is too messed up for me to pick it all up. I've been washing laundry in the sink (but only stuff that can fit) and hanging it up to dry. So, I haven't been able to do large stuff like bedding/blankets. Plus, we still don't have hot water to the washing machine.
 
Little granddaughter and I spent a few hours on her room today. Part of the problem of the room not being clean is too much stuff. Her mom keeps bringing it in. We took out a trashbag full and a donation bag. New rule when mom visits: stuff she brings stays downstairs. When mom leaves, she can decide if she even wants what she brought. If she wants three things, then three things up in her room needs to go. I went ballistic when I was cleaning out her sock drawer and found a pair with the F word written across it. For a nine year old? Actually, for anybody?
 
  1. Slow bank.
  2. Last minute requests, that if you had told me much sooner I would have been able to do something about it. But last minute like that when I already have other things planned.... it's annoying.
Dealing with your #2 today also. Last minute changes, why can't I uproot my entire schedule to make accomodations?! I have learned to say NO😁
 
Dealing with your #2 today also. Last minute changes, why can't I uproot my entire schedule to make accomodations?! I have learned to say NO😁
I hate saying no. I've also had to learn. It feels awful! I know they need my help but "help me help you!"
 
I can't bring anything meaningful to this party. I was sloppy as a kid, and as a young adult. Remember Oscar Madison from the Odd Couple? He was my hero. I am better now, but if there was a scale with Slob at one end and Neat Freak on the other I would be closer to the Slob.

My only advice would be close the door. Let them life in the filth, and you don't have to look at it. If it starts to migrate to other parts of the house now you can throw it out or do whatever you want. See how long they last living that way.
 
Let them life in the filth, and you don't have to look at it. If it starts to migrate to other parts of the house now you can throw it out or do whatever you want. See how long they last living that way.
I can tell you how long they can live like that. FOREVER.
My wife's sister never cleaned unless she was made to. When she got married she was still a slob. Her house was so filthy I wouldn't go in the door.
At family functions, I always made sure I knew if she brought food so I could avoid it.
Our kids were messy but not filthy. No food in their rooms and the mess best not migrate out of their rooms. My daughter is still messy but my son is a clean freak now. Probably because he's in the Air Force and messy and military do not go together.
 
Nope. Grandkids were not taught while young. They had druggie slobs for moms. If they don't learn before they get older and move out, they won't learn at all. My job to insist. I did realize that they were lacking in the art of cleaning up, and it's necessary to work with them for awhile till they learn organization skills. And we say in our house, "clean it like Irene (my favorite cousin) is coming over". Because, you know, she'll look.
Rant for me today...realized it's been a year since I've been in a big city, and I really am not tolerating it well. This place has almost 3 million people. That didn't help looking that number up. I've been in a building having to wear a mask all day, then in traffic for forever, and now in a hotel room. Feels totally unnatural.
 
Amish Heart
The Grandchildren will remember you all their lives & tell stories to their children & grandchildren.
"clean it like Irene (my favorite cousin) is coming over" will live for a hundred more years.
It goes back to, teach a man to fish or Proverbs 22:6 .
 
I mentioned awhile back I did some major work to clean up the mess my mom made in the living room by throwing her trash all over the floor. I got her trash bags to put her trash in. Well, she's been throwing trash on the floor again and it's become my problem because I'm the one who has to walk through that mess to plug things in and mess with the modem and so forth. I got so mad that I opened a window and started throwing trash out. I came very close to chucking an end able out the window, I settled for throwing it a few feet away while my mother screamed at me asking what my problem was. I kept it in. My problem was that I did all that work to clean up and she trashed it up again like some kind of child because she gets mad at my brother for not taking the trash out, but in the end I'm the one who suffers because I trip over it and ultimately have to be the one to clean it up. I hurt my back doing it and I regret it now (not the throwing stuff out, but the bending). Also, my power company sucks. Power went out Saturday and today. I think the last surge may have killed the TV or the outlet the TV was plugged in to.

Another gripe is that my monitor developed a bunch of lines just to the left of center about a week after the warranty was up. It has now developed a single red line off to the right and it is driving me batty. I'm debating whether or not I should get a new monitor. This one is wide enough that I can resize the windows to see around, but if the lines start spreading on the right, I'll have to get another one. I mean, in some ways the lines help me make sure something is straight but they also block my view and the lines on the left are now 3/4" wide.
#firstworldproblems

Another gripe is that my favorite thread on houserepairtalk got locked because people wouldn't stop arguing when an admin told them to agree to disagree. One ignored it and the other argued with the admin. Like really, I get when someone wants the last word in, but sometimes it's best to just let it go.
 
Amish, I've done that. She ended up burying the trash can and never told me when it was full (and it's in a spot where I can't see it easily). She insists trash is my brother's responsibility but he will only take out one trash bag in the kitchen (and doesn't replace it with an empty bag). She complains the trash can is too small or it gets in the way. So I gave her the bag and have no idea what she did with it. and I'm talking contractor size bag. She's just too lazy to make the effort to put stuff in a bag for some reason. She'd rather chuck it across the room. One time I was reaching for trash and asked her to hand it to me. She just looked at me defiantly and threw it across the room. Some of it bounced off the TV. Tv now has a permanent blue spot where she hit it- well, when the TV was working. Still need to figure that out. It's so frustrating.
 
Another approach might be to take a day and clean out that room entirely, top to bottom. Don't say a word about it, that you're having to do it, or say that she better keep it clean. Try to set it up with a lined garbage can and anything else that can help to keep it clean once it's spotless. Look back and say how nice the room looks now it's clean.
It would be interesting to see if she would then make an effort to keep it a bit cleaner since you showed that you care about it.
 
Another approach might be to take a day and clean out that room entirely, top to bottom. Don't say a word about it, that you're having to do it, or say that she better keep it clean. Try to set it up with a lined garbage can and anything else that can help to keep it clean once it's spotless. Look back and say how nice the room looks now it's clean.
It would be interesting to see if she would then make an effort to keep it a bit cleaner since you showed that you care about it.

For a small minority (IMHO) that would work. For the majority it will not...unless...

Every car in our marriage the wife has caused mechanically or body damage due to her disinterest. The last straw was when she HAD to drive to the next town during a major snow storm. Now understand she's self employed, she could have reschedule but she HAD to. I told her with the weather it would be a good day to stay home. NO she HAD too. An hour later I get a call. She was following a string of like minded individuals when a bus was approaching in the opposite lane. She thought the bus was too close so the wife decided to keep her speed up as she moved closer to the edge of her lane. Tires dropped off the edge of the pavement, she over corrected, crossed over both lanes to hit a utility pole. Totaled the car. She said she didn't have any other choices. One she could have stayed home because of the weather. Two she could have taken her foot off the gas, slow down to a stop as she gave the bus more room. I told her I have had it. She now has two choices. Do without a car (I was quickly told that wasn't an option) or SHE could personally pay for the next car. We went car shopping that weekend. I made her go to the bank to apply for the loan. She had to deal with the car salesmen. She had to go the the Bureau of Motor Vehicles for title and registration. Within six months the right rear fender was dented (she backed into a concrete pillar) so bad the trunk wouldn't open. "Who do I call?" she asked. "Remember that insurance card I gave you and told you to in a place you could find it? There is a 800 number on the back to call the insurance company, they will want to know what happen. Because it is "easier" for me and I've dealt with them before I should call..." No, I've stopped being an enabler. You car, your responsibility.

Bless her heart. She was mad when she got off the phone with the Insurance agent. "Why didn't I have car rental on the insurance?" "Because it cost more money. "The deductible, You're paying that, right?" Nope, not my car. "Who's a good body repair shop to get estimates?" Don't know, you have to do your own research.

Within the year another backing accident. Curled the rear bummer into the trunk. "I need to call that same number on that card?", she asked. Yes.

Then there's the dent in the front that you can't see (her explanation). Her reasoning for not having to deal with the insurance and body shop.

Once her pocketbook took a painful hit, she decided to take more care in her driving skills. She set a new recorded for herself. It's been three years without a mishap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I written all of this to say; Until the person who made the mess is given the proper incentive not to, they will have no reason to stop This applies to children, to co-workers and everyone else.
 
Last edited:
That is totally true. But they need to start with a clean slate. Like your wife started with a new car. Wondering if Zannej's mom is disabled and can't do much. I know she cooks and serves her meals. So was thinking that starting clean and setting it up to make it easier to be clean might work. Problem is, sounds like the other areas of the house are a mess, too...kitchen, bedrooms, can't use the washing machine, etc. When the whole house is a mess, it's hard to get motivated. I have a few relatives that never invite anyone over because their places are such a mess. That would be terrible to live like that.
 
That is totally true. But they need to start with a clean slate. Like your wife started with a new car. Wondering if Zannej's mom is disabled and can't do much. I know she cooks and serves her meals. So was thinking that starting clean and setting it up to make it easier to be clean might work. Problem is, sounds like the other areas of the house are a mess, too...kitchen, bedrooms, can't use the washing machine, etc. When the whole house is a mess, it's hard to get motivated. I have a few relatives that never invite anyone over because their places are such a mess. That would be terrible to live like that.

I find it amazing how some that "can't" discover they "can" when motivated to do so.

Former overweight (by choice) co-worker was wondering what type of work truck he was getting. I told him the smallest economical sized truck they make. He said he would refuse to drive it! I told him he would drive what the company provided. He went over my head to the Owner and got a full size van. Soon after the company offered employees first choice buying a few vehicles the company was rotating out. Guess what the same overweight employee bought from the company for his every day drive to work vehicle? A small economical sized truck. His choice was dependent on who's pocket the money came from.

I am not aware of Zannej's brother or mother actual personal capabilities. From her posts I've personally reached the conclusion that most of the Brother's and some of the mother's life style choices are made knowing that Zannej will do it. As it is Zannej's choice to stay in the household to live with it.
 
Rant? I wrote a 400 page rant during the covid, dropped F-bombs like a B-19 in Vietnam. I'd be doxed/swatted/banned from the WWW if it ever got out. pretty much a seething mass of hatred for most of the world.
 
Our children need to be taught, or re-taught, and anyone living under our roofs need to respect house rules. But adults..... will only change if they want to and doing for them is enabling and asking for aggravation.
The only ones I feel sorry for are the minor children who are trapped by adults apathetic, self centered, lazy and wrong any way you look at it behavior. I apologize for the harshness, but this is one that hits close to home, and families and lives are destroyed by those who can do whatever they want without consequences.

Please, I don’t want to hurt or diminish anyone. Each and every one of us is important, even if those around us don’t see it or appreciate it.
 
Last edited:
Relative to people who live like slobs or with slobs:
My daughter has always struggled with keeping things in her life cleaned up. As a young adult, she realized she had ADD. She took herself to see someone, got the diagnosis, got the meds. Hated the meds, tried different meds until she found the one that semi worked and didn't giver her headaches. The problem was that the meds were too strong and she would take them as needed, for deadlines. But after a couple days, they all gave her headaches.

She got a new job, new medical insurance. She decided to look for the BEST Psychologist/psychiatrist in the area to really help her get a handle on her life. In order to renew her meds, she HAS to see the Dr. every 3 months. The law requires it. What the Dr. figured out was that the dosage of the meds was way too strong and left daughter with highs and lows. Who wants that? Not daughter.

Daughter told me about how the much lower dosage makes life much more normal and she takes it consistently, daily, and has the time set on her phone to remind her and what a difference it has made for her. She is now able and wants things clean and orderly. She can start and finish something. (Finish projects, cleaning, organizing...) She probably always did want that, but was never really able to achieve it because of her brain.

Daughter has always been physically active. She played soccer all throughout grade school, but when it got to the serious competitive level in h.s., she was no longer interested. She has always been a runner, done yoga, kick boxing, etc. These things keep the brain working better. She also has meditation time each day.

Daughter has learned a lot. One thing her psychologist told her is that when someone has ADD, they very likely have a parent who is also. Hmmm. She is inclined to think her dad didn't have ADD because he was a neat freak. He was! Hmmm. That leaves me, who is easily distracted. Hmmmm.

So, evidently slobs are not BAD people, as if often the view by clean freaks, but people whose brains do not work as well as they could. Now she also believes that her boyfriend has ADD because of some odd things he does that are frustrating. He also has to be physically active or he goes stir crazy.

If you are still reading, know that there are about 7 different types of ADD. Your ADD might not look like your dad's or your brothers or your uncles. I have long thought that we need a thread about ADD and ADHD. It is sometimes over diagnosed and often the meds are not prescribed correctly. I have seen over medicated kids at school when I was teaching.
 
Back
Top