Some Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People

[Weedygarden]

I saw this on Reddit. We have all dealt with difficult people and some of you might even be difficult people! LOL! I thought it was interesting.

Some strategies for dealing with difficult people, not just mothers-in-law.​

Here are 10 lessons from Debbie Joffe Ellis's book "How to Hug a Porcupine":

1. Identifying Porcupines: The book helps you recognize the characteristics of "porcupine" personalities, those who are difficult, negative, or create conflict. It teaches you to spot these traits in others and even recognize them in yourself.
2. Understanding the "Why" Behind the Quills: Ellis explores the reasons why people might act in prickly ways. She explores factors like past experiences, insecurities, or underlying anxieties that contribute to their behavior.
3. Managing Your Own Reactions: Instead of getting drawn into negativity, the book provides strategies for managing your own emotions and avoiding getting hooked by the porcupine's barbs.
4. Effective Communication Techniques: Ellis offers tools for communicating effectively with difficult people. This includes techniques for setting boundaries, expressing yourself assertively, and fostering productive dialogue.
5. De-escalating Arguments: Learn to navigate disagreements with "porcupines" by employing methods to de-escalate tension, avoid getting defensive, and find solutions that work for both parties.
6. The Power of Empathy: The book emphasizes the importance of developing empathy for those who challenge you. By trying to understand their perspective, you can build bridges and improve communication.
7. Setting Boundaries with Porcupines: "How to Hug a Porcupine" equips you with tools for establishing healthy boundaries with difficult people. This protects your well-being and allows for more positive interactions.
8. Self-Care for Dealing with Difficult People: The book acknowledges the emotional toll of interacting with challenging personalities. It provides self-care strategies to help you manage stress and maintain your emotional resilience.
9. Acceptance: Not Everyone Will Change: Ellis emphasizes that you can't control the behavior of others, but you can control your own reactions. The book teaches acceptance and helps you focus on what you can influence.
10. Finding the "Good" in Difficult People: Sometimes, beneath the prickly exterior lies someone you can connect with. The book encourages you to look for the positive qualities in difficult people and foster a sense of understanding.

By following these lessons, you can navigate challenging relationships with more confidence and compassion, fostering a more peaceful coexistence with the "porcupines" in your life.
Book: https://amzn.to/3PvAv9s
You can also get the AUDIO BOOK for FREE using the same link. Use the link to register for the AUDIO BOOK on Audible and start enjoying it.

 

[Morgan101]

God Bless her for being that patient, and even writing a book. I'm afraid I'm not that accepting or patient. When somebody is nasty to me I am probably going to be nasty back, and looking for some good is the last thing on my mind.

One of the best parts of retirement is not HAVING to be nice to people who don't deserve it.

 

[Amish Heart]

That's a good point. I tend to stay away from difficult people. No arguing, just don't engage. But those are good ideas if you must deal with a difficult person.

 

[12icemaker]

I AM difficult some say so I just like things to be done as they are supposed to and no drama.

Dealing with me is easy we just do what we are supposed to and no drama HEHEHEH.

Good list!!!!

 

[Haertig]

Has anyone read the book? The above looks like a sales pitch for it. Does it live up to the advertisement?

 

[dademoss]

Has anyone read the book? The above looks like a sales pitch for it. Does it live up to the advertisement?

I have not, I am no longer required to be nice to people I don't like

 

[Weedygarden]

I thought this was an interesting list.
Yell at me.
Try to convince me that something should be a way that I know it isn't supposed to be in spite of me explaining it a few times and them not listening. I am not a control freak by any means. I just do not like it when people wants to convince me of something after I have researched, trained and studied about it because they have their own agenda.

If someone is not nice to me, my strategy is to just ignore them. Some people do not like to be ignored! I don't care!

I'm not trying to be friends with everyone.