The perks of being over 60

[Grizzleyette___Adams]

What can you add to this list of "perks of being over 60 years old?"

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 A M) and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You can't rememberwho sent you this list.

(And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.)

20. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, EVER, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!




(I disagree with some of these, but a big hattip to Proteus for making me laugh today)

 

[Peanut]

I really like the clock in my bedroom...

 

[Grizzleyette___Adams]

Ha ha!

psstt... about that stapler? It's such a prominent part of the picture so I couldn't help but notice it...

Naw, my mind ain't right, y'all...

Is it for...

- stapling partner's mouth shut when the snoring gets too bad

- economy nip n tuck jobs

- nailing jello to the wall

- stapling the cat or dog's tail to the floor to keep them from jumping on the bed for the 5th time last night

what?

 

[gumpy]

Ha ha!

psstt... about that stapler? It's such a prominent part of the picture so I couldn't help but notice it...

Naw, my mind ain't right, y'all...

Is it for...

- stapling partner's mouth shut when the snoring gets too bad

- economy nip n tuck jobs

- nailing jello to the wall

- stapling the cat or dog's tail to the floor to keep them from jumping on the bed for the 5th time last night

what?

Wadyatalkinbout? The stapler was the first thing I noticed also! My mind went rampant. Looks kinda painful tho.

 

[Grizzleyette___Adams]

Ha. It is standing up there, posing like it is ready for business. Serious business.

Peanut? Now see what you've done? Bringing out the worst in us...

 

[Caribou]

Nice clock. Do they make a phone?

 

[backlash]

I like the list and most apply to me.
The first thing I did when I retired was to get rid of my alarm clock.
I am no longer a slave to the time.
I get up when ever I darn well want to and I go to bed when I feel like it.:lil guy:

 

[ssonb]

I like yall two, I noticed the stapler also.... The state will not allow you to have a pistol???...Now back to the sponsor....after 60 lets seeeee......You can buy yourself Christmas presents and still have a surprise under the tree, You don't have to ask for the senior discounts, you can make all the odd noises in the restroom stalls and no one cares.

 

[angie_nrs]

When I went on spring break last year in a fairly quiet beach area, we noticed the older local folks started day drinkin' at lunch time. The older we get, we figure it's b/c it gives them time to get a shine on, sober up, and still go to bed early. We also noticed that the older we get, it takes much less alcohol to get that shine on, which is nice b/c it's a lot cheaper that way!:mugbump:

The older I get, the less I give a crap what people think of me or what I say. I never cared all the much to begin with, so I can't even imagine what words are gonna come out of my mouth when I reach 60!

 

[ReadyMom]

Nice clock. Do they make a phone?

Nice clock. Do they make a phone?

You mean like this? ...

(Source: http://phonebackgroundshd.blogspot.com/2014/03/cell-phones-for-senior-citizens-phone.html )

 

[hiwall]

"2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first."
After fifteen minutes you won't remember that you ARE a hostage.

 

[Amish Heart]

That'll be my next phone!!
A flip phone that doesn't do anything else. With big numbers so I don't have to find my glasses.
This is why I still have a Chocolate by Verizon.

 

[NannyPatty]

With 2 of us in the house ,one can't hear or remember and has back pain, the other has arthritis in the feet, hands, and back. There's always a multitude of "grunts, ohh's and huhs?" ( May I say other sounds, too) going on!

 

[Peanut]

Ha ha!

psstt... about that stapler? It's such a prominent part of the picture so I couldn't help but notice it...
Naw, my mind ain't right, y'all...

Is it for...
- stapling partner's mouth shut when the snoring gets too bad
- economy nip n tuck jobs
- nailing jello to the wall
- stapling the cat or dog's tail to the floor to keep them from jumping on the bed for the 5th time last night
what?

Ha. It is standing up there, posing like it is ready for business. Serious business.

Peanut? Now see what you've done? Bringing out the worst in us...

And the right answer is… business!

My furnishings are… unorthodox (health issues). I don’t have a room to use as an office but my bedroom is large. So… I have a small office desk in my bedroom and a small 2 drawer file cabinet. I also keep my 2nd computer on that desk. On the days I don’t have the energy to make it to the Livingroom I can still get online.

 

[phideaux]

You kids....



Where's the Over 70's list?
Probably too big to write.

When old people hold doors for me...I guess I'm REALLY old.


Oh well.



Jim

 

[Cascadian]

For the men there are 3 basic rules
1. Never trust a fart.
2. Never skip a chance to pee.
3. Never waste a stiffy.

 

[phideaux]

At my age....


When I walk by a bathroom....I go pee....just because it's there.



Jim

 

[Amish Heart]

You do that when you're 3.
You do that when you're 63.

 

[The Innkeeper]

My favorite perk of being over 60 .... I am not dead yet

 

[snappy1]

My favorite perk of being over 60 .... I am not dead yet

That's my favorite too!!!

 

[winds-of-change]

That'll be my next phone!!
A flip phone that doesn't do anything else. With big numbers so I don't have to find my glasses.
This is why I still have a Chocolate by Verizon.

My kids keep telling me I need a “Jitterbug” phone. Google it.

And rule #6 isn’t true for me. Read my signature line.

 

[winds-of-change]

Oops. I can’t figure out how to enter a signature line. On all the other forums I’m in it’s “Honor Student: School of Hard Knocks”

 

[backlash]

When you count putting on your socks as exercise.

 

[The Innkeeper]

Oops. I can’t figure out how to enter a signature line. On all the other forums I’m in it’s “Honor Student: School of Hard Knocks”

that shows as your signature line

 

[gumpy]

that shows as your signature line

Yep. Sure does!

 

[Grizzleyette___Adams]

I see it too! This is what I am seeing, and your signature line shows up at the bottom of all your posts.

winds-of-change

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Oops. I can’t figure out how to enter a signature line. On all the other forums I’m in it’s “Honor Student: School of Hard Knocks”

Honor student: School of Hard Knocks.

 

[The Lazy L]

"perks of being over 60 years old?"

You can say what you really think.

The younger generation underestimates you.

True the younger generation has speed and dexterity but you have wisdom and treachery.

 

[Meerkat]

What can you add to this list of "perks of being over 60 years old?"

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 A M) and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You can't rememberwho sent you this list.

(And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.)

20. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, EVER, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!




(I disagree with some of these, but a big hattip to Proteus for making me laugh today)

Me too. :mugbump:

 

[Flight]

https://www.lifewire.com/best-cell-phones-for-senior-citizens-4125595

Yep I thought I would help out :dancingwatermelon"

 

[dademoss]

I'm happy to be on the upside of the dirt, and not get carded for beer I use an Apple SE smartphone (apple 6 in a apple 5 body), google calendar linked with my sweeties,, alexa, etc. Others will vary. I was shooting pool with the "old farts" at the senior center, and Barry didn't know you needed to charge your cell phone before you used it.