Couldn't read the first post.
Will reply with best friffing meat ever made.
http://dish.allrecipes.com/what-happens-after-eating-bacon/
1. First 10 minutes
You start with good intentioons—cook bacon for your entire household. After 10 minutes of smelling it cook, you’ve become a hungry wolf-person who will fight to the death for a very scrap of food in your vicinity.
2. 20 minutes
You begin to eat bacon. Savory, smoky, salty and slight sweet flavors hit your taste buds all at once and immediately start to register in your brain’s pleasure receptors. 45% of Canadians prefer this to sex, and from what we’ve been told, Canadian sex is actually pretty good.
3. 40 minutes
You intended to only eat one strip, but you’ve consumed 3 and disturbingly-only remember eating 2. Did you black out? You cut the 4th strip in two, leaving the fatty portion you don’t really want for someone else.
4. 45 minutes
More bacon is ready! You eat 3 ½ more strips, and scotch tape the remaining half to the other leftover half to approximate see full strip. You emit an evil laugh.
5. 60 Minutes
Breakfast is ready! There are 6 strips of bacon ready for 5 people, and it’s only fair that you get 2 strips since you cooked it all.
6. 60 Minutes
Science tells us that we take an hour off our lives for every 7 strips of bacon we eat. This is the same science that doesn’t know what 85% of the universe is made of, how cats purr or why we’re here.
Bacon is worth it.