When is something your business and when isn't it?

[Weedygarden]

I was waiting to turn into an alley today, and man was coming out of the alley. He made a right turn and his car scraped a Honda that was parked. He kept going and turned right at the corner. I decided I was going to drive up the alley and see if I could see him and take a photo of his car. After he turned the corner, he parked. I decided to snap a photo of his car. I had no idea what else had transpired. He asked me what I was doing and I replied that I was taking a photo of his car that had just been in an accident. He was probably really angry about what he had just done to his car, and I probably added salt to that pain. He yelled at me, "It is none of your business." My reply was that I had just witnessed an accident and that made it my business. He repeated to me that it was none of my business. Well, the girl whose car he hit was young. His driving away after hitting her got my attention. I went back to the scene and told the girl what had happened and she told me he had given her his information. I gave her my contact information, just in case he protests or contests that he hit her car. He might be 100% a great guy otherwise, but driving away from hitting her car spooked me. There was little other moving traffic around.

Is it someone's business to speak up when they see something like this? Do you step up when you see things like this? What would you have done?

 

[Pearl]

I was waiting to turn into an alley today, and man was coming out of the alley. He made a right turn and his car scraped a Honda that was parked. He kept going and turned right at the corner. I decided I was going to drive up the alley and see if I could see him and take a photo of his car. After he turned the corner, he parked. I decided to snap a photo of his car. I had no idea what else had transpired. He asked me what I was doing and I replied that I was taking a photo of his car that had just been in an accident. He was probably really angry about what he had just done to his car, and I probably added salt to that pain. He yelled at me, "It is none of your business." My reply was that I had just witnessed an accident and that made it my business. He repeated to me that it was none of my business. Well, the girl whose car he hit was young. His driving away after hitting her got my attention. I went back to the scene and told the girl what had happened and she told me he had given her his information. I gave her my contact information, just in case he protests or contests that he hit her car. He might be 100% a great guy otherwise, but driving away from hitting her car spooked me. There was little other moving traffic around.

Is it someone's business to speak up when they see something like this? Do you step up when you see things like this? What would you have done?

I would have done exactly what you did. Since you spoke to the girl and she had his information there was no need to report it to authorities. If he gave her fake info she then has a witness and a picture of the car. I guess it comes down to if you would get involved as a witness. Some people would avoid the situation. I would do what I would hope someone would do for me if I was the one in the girl's place.

 

[Terri9630]

In that situation I would have done the same.

 

[Peanut]

Absolutely your business... unless they were next door neighbors or relatives, that's a whole different discussion.

 

[Bacpacker]

You did good Weedy

 

[hashbrown]

That's the right thing to do.

 

[Pearl]

So many would just look the other way! A lot of good people here!

 

[DodgesMamMaw]

I would have done the same thing.

 

[backlash]

If it was my car that was hit I would be glad you got involved.

 

[bkt]

Yup, you did the right thing.

 

[Newbri]

I wouldn't have spoken up in the same way. I maybe wouldn't have spoken up at all. I do agree with the man that it wouldn't be my business. If I were to speak up about it, it would be to tell the man to go back and give his info, but I wouldn't have taken a picture of his car. That, to me, would have been going too far.

 

[Morgan101]

You did the right thing, Weedy.

 

[Newbri]

There are lot of factors into my answer. Maybe they're related, maybe not.
On the one hand, when it comes to strangers, I prefer a softer approach. I don't know who I'm dealing with. Going on the offensive (I mean no offence, Weedy, but this is how I perceive it) is too much and I wouldn't want to risk the guy running off or getting pissed. I don't know! So a simple conversation and we'll see where it goes. Like "heeeey, duuuude. (slight frowny face). I saw what happened over there. You kinda scratch someone's car. First off, what about yours ?(always helps if you show concern for them as well, they might be less likely to be on the defensive)..." Then come up with something clever that I can't think of right now, to get him to sympathize with the owner of the other car and encourage him to give his info.


Then I thought about what if I were the dude. Would I want someone to have my information like that? No, I wouldn't. So the next best thing would be to talk first, imo.
Then I thought about if I were the woman, and well, I'll be frank. If it's just a scratch or scrape, it's not the end of the world. If my car wasn't damaged to the point of not functioning anymore, it's fine.

From my perspective, it's a minor issue, so no, I wouldn't have spoken up. Had someone been injured, had the damage to the car been severe, then yeah...

 

[Rebecca]

There are a lot of good people on here and I applaud you all for that. I on the other hand am not such a good person, or at least my threshold for intervention is higher.

For example a friend and I stepped into an incident when a young guy was beating on an old man.

But just a scrape to a car. I would have left it alone. And here's why:
Best case scenario is Weedy's experience. The guy yells a bit and goes away.
Then there is the scenario where now he is in full blown road rage and he comes for me. Not inconceivable, road rage violence happens all the time. This then goes two ways, he takes a swing at me and I lay him out. Now the cops are cross with me. So I'm trying to get out of a situation I should have just avoided.
Or he takes a swing at me, is faster stronger and better trained. He beats the hell out of me. Now I'm in emergency getting stiches for something I should have just avoided.

 

[Peanut]

Then there is the scenario where now he is in full blown road rage and he comes for me. Not inconceivable, road rage violence happens all the time.

Absolutely true, one never knows these days. Record any and all info surreptitiously, especially if you’re female, confrontation is to be avoided. Wait for the police to arrive or call them yourself. You never know if it's a one time indecent or just another act in an on going war. Couples, family members, even next door neighbors, you never want to get in between such. They will both turn on you before resuming their personal war. I learned this the hard way, and I was a slow learner, took more than once.

This was a fender bender, not a life threatening situation.

 

[dademoss]

Is it someone's business to speak up when they see something like this? Do you step up when you see things like this? What would you have done?

You did the right thing, Weedy.

 

[Weedygarden]

There are a lot of good people on here and I applaud you all for that. I on the other hand am not such a good person, or at least my threshold for intervention is higher.

For example a friend and I stepped into an incident when a young guy was beating on an old man.

But just a scrape to a car. I would have left it alone. And here's why:
Best case scenario is Weedy's experience. The guy yells a bit and goes away.
Then there is the scenario where now he is in full blown road rage and he comes for me. Not inconceivable, road rage violence happens all the time. This then goes two ways, he takes a swing at me and I lay him out. Now the cops are cross with me. So I'm trying to get out of a situation I should have just avoided.
Or he takes a swing at me, is faster stronger and better trained. He beats the hell out of me. Now I'm in emergency getting stiches for something I should have just avoided.

Yes, you are so right. There is road rage and the damage was not significant.

 

[sonya123]

Have to disagree here....I don't think it's your business, plus, no good deed goes unpunished. I think it is almost always better to mind your own business. It wasn't a life or death situation but just a minor car issue. And what if the guy had pulled out a gun and shot you?

 

[Neb]

When I have witnessed accidents I stopped to give my contact info. If I had a smart phone I may have taken pictures.

It is hard to say what we will do when we witness a crime or accident.

Back in 20s i witnessed a purse snatching and without thinking I took off chasing the guy along with a few others. Some of the others caught him. I surprised myself with my response.

Ben

 

[Pearl]

When I have witnessed accidents I stopped to give my contact info. If I had a smart phone I may have taken pictures.

It is hard to say what we will do when we witness a crime or accident.

Back in 20s i witnessed a purse snatching and without thinking I took off chasing the guy along with a few others. Some of the others caught him. I surprised myself with my response.

Ben

Sometimes you do things out of reaction, and sometimes it's the right thing to do.

 

[The Lazy L]

Weedy, you done good!

What would I have done? I'd follow the guy to take a picture too. Then I would have returned to the scene of the accident (without talking to the runner) to give my contact information (as a witness) to the lady.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

 

[Weedygarden]

This discussion has helped me to process how I acted and reacted. Some of you said that we have to be careful in these situations, and you are so right. There are so many crazy people out there.
I live on a fairly main street, although 2 lanes. I have heard a few accidents and gone out to check on those involved, and before cell phones, to see if there was someone I could call for them. I also offered people beverages, water or sodas in the summer. That is definitely different than what my post was about. I will definitely be more careful about situations and how I react. Thank you all for your responses. It is food for thought for all of us.

I'm sharing the photo I took. It was a beautiful blue BMW. I knew if I ever saw it again that I would recognize it.

 

[backlash]

If people choose to not get involved that's their business.
My question is where do you draw the line?
Car accident? Violent assault? Kidnapping? Murder?

 

[Weedygarden]

If people choose to not get involved that's their business.
My question is where do you draw the line?
Car accident? Violent assault? Kidnapping? Murder?

In some of those situations, it is really dangerous to become involved. You have to choose what you can do to help people. One thing that I notice in witnessing crimes involving vehicles is that getting the license plate can be so helpful, and many people do not even think of that.

When I was teaching in the inner city, there was an incident one day. A school bus pulled up a while after our students had been dismissed. There was a fight involving two students, maybe middle schoolers. As one of the only adults left in the building, I went out to try to break it up. A man standing there grabbed ahold of my arms and said, "Don't touch my cousin," while he was holding me! I couldn't get away. He held my arms until the fight was over. It made me so angry, but I was actually also in danger because I went out.

 

[Terri9630]

We were told to not try to break up fights but to move other students away so they didn't get hurt.

 

[backlash]

A fight is a whole different thing. I would not try to break up a fight.

 

[Weedygarden]

A fight is a whole different thing. I would not try to break up a fight.

Well I won't ever again. That didn't go so well for me.

There is witness in this situation who clearly did not want to be involved. It was none of his business, or so he thought.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/utah-gas-station-kidnapping-video
Utah man ignores violent gas station kidnapping that occurs inches away
Carl Gravitt, 22, was arrested on charges of kidnapping, assault, car theft and possession of drug paraphernalia
By Michael Ruiz | Fox News

A diminutive Utah woman was seen sprinting through a gas station in parking lot in South Salt Lake screaming for help, with a man chasing at her heels.
Surveillance video shows he caught up with her just inches away from a man pumping gas – and dragged her away kicking and screaming while the witness appeared to do nothing.
Surveillance video from a South Salt Lake Gas station shows a small woman, whom police described initially as a possible juvenile but was later identified as an adult, sprinting through the parking lot in shorts and a dark hooded sweatshirt. A man can be seen running after her, wearing gym shorts, sneakers and a sleeveless undershirt.

Witnesses told police they heard the woman screaming for help as she ran. She approached a driver filling up a pickup truck at one of the pumps and the suspect caught up with her. The surveillance video contains no sound, but the three people appear to speak briefly before the woman rolls under the truck in an attempt to get away.

Surveillance video from a South Salt Lake Gas station shows a small woman, whom police described initially as a juvenile but was later identified as a 35-year-old weighing just 86 pounds, sprinting through the parking lot in shorts and a dark hooded sweatshirt. A man can be seen running after her, wearing gym shorts, sneakers and a sleeveless undershirt. (South Salt Lake City Police)
The suspect can be seen on the video dragging her out from beneath the pickup, inches away from the witness, who does not appear to make any attempt to stop the abduction or call for help.

Then the suspect can be seen picking the woman up and carrying her away over his shoulder as she frantically kicks, screams and fights to escape his grip without success. He threw her into a red 1990s SUV and drove away, police said.
Carl Gravitt, 22, was arrested on charges of kidnapping, assault, car theft and possession of drug paraphernalia.

"We have somebody in custody who is violent, who took somebody against their will," South Salt Lake Police Department spokeswoman Danielle Croyle told the local KSL News.
The station reported that the suspect and victim had been dating for around eight months and that police had deemed the incident domestic violence.

Other witnesses called 911 – prompting an Amber Alert and police response that recovered the victim and left the man in handcuffs.
She was taken for a medical evaluation, authorities said.

 

[Haertig]

For me, self preservation is rule #1. I learned this in paramedic school - "You can't help anyone if you become a victim yourself".

So deciding whether to get involved in a minor fender bender would be dependent on my assessment on how much danger I would be putting myself in. Looking at the specific situation that started this thread, I would tend more towards memorizing the license plate and writing it down (or putting it into my phone of other device) ASAP, before I forgot it. One may not always think quickly enough to accomplish this however. You really need to train your mind on what to do ahead of time.

You also need to think about what the police will do with information you give them. Someone puts a scratch on someone else's car, then drives away. You risk your personal safety to chase and get a picture of the run vehicle. Then you give the photo to the police when they respond (probably several hours later if they even respond at all - most likely they'd tell the scratched cars owner to come in herself and file a report). Now the police have a photo of the suspect run vehicle, even showing the license plate. What do you think they will do? I don't think it's like the old days where they'd investigate and try to apprehend the suspect. My guess is that they'd recommend calling your insurance company and that would be the end of it.

So when you think of the most likely fruits of all your labor, it doesn't make too much sense to put yourself in potential danger even one little bit. I'd do nothing more than memorizing the license plate and giving that information, along with my personal contact info, to the scratched cars owner (if you found her) or the police (if they were readily available on-scene).

I learned about police response to minor crimes when we had a break-in at an unoccupied property that we inherited. Video cameras inside, and the burglars were so stupid that they each - all three of them - looked directly at the camera, evidently trying to figure out what it was. Pretty stupid. Great mug shots though. Once they figured out this odd thing with a lens on it was a camera, they panicked. Then they found the recording console and unplugged it. It was a simple matter for me to plug it back in and review the video saved on its hard drive. What idiots. (My current cameras upload to the cloud instantly, so I don't have to worry about a smart burglar smashing the hard drive.) Anyway, the police were offered the video showing the burglars who we told them we thought lived a couple of houses up the street (a mom and her two kids - what a sweet family!) The police declined and told us to contact our insurance company if we found anything valuable that was missing. That was the end of things.

Idiot #1: "Hey, what's that?"

Idiot #1 covers face while idiot #2 checks out the mystery device:

Idiot #3 uses her burglary experience to correctly identify the device as a camera, tries to cover face while saying "Oh, no!":