When someone is a friend, and when they are not!

Homesteading & Country Living Forum

Help Support Homesteading & Country Living Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
It could be a reason why a lot of us are on this site?

You come upon a lot of forks in the road of life. When you continue to choose the high road, you find it has less and less traffic. Some friends choose the low road simply for fear of loneliness?
 
It takes a strong man or woman to stand alone... but it's also pleasant to chat with you knucklehaids, lol. ;)

In spirit, many of us are in the same boat, trying to get farther away from "civilization" and closer to the earth. :)

Some of us have been in the field all our lives, but are relatively new to the concept of homesteading... :rolleyes:

In a way, I'm one of those... no stranger to the wilderness, but willing to learn more about self-sufficiency. :cool:
 
Growing up and have had many so called “friends”. And many ended in a bad way meaning when my help was no long needed or I needed their help …. We’ll you can figure out how this goes. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed I really don’t need many friends I have two in my life I know will always be there and my wife being one of them. Also as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to be more forgiving as we should… but should never forget.
 
When I worked in a machine shop, I had several casual friends and one close friend there. In the quarter-century since retirement, I see the casual friends seldom.

I still have that close friend, and a few casual friends, and a couple in-betweeners among the folks I still visit from my social service days, that are more than casual friends. but we really don't socialize.

Then there is my tribe, but that is a different thing.

One of these days, we maybe ought to see if we can work out what makes an acquaintance a casual friend, or a 'tweener', or a close friend.
 
Bluetick21 said:
Growing up and have had many so called “friends”. And many ended in a bad way meaning when my help was no long needed or I needed their help …. We’ll you can figure out how this goes. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed I really don’t need many friends I have two in my life I know will always be there and my wife being one of them. Also as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to be more forgiving as we should… but should never forget.
Click to expand...
It's part of growing up and growing old, I guess. One of the Hard Things in life can be experiencing how assumptions and expectations play out. One of the Great Things too. They are in the warp and the weave of the life you've made. I've had a few Great Friends.
 
DYSTONIA MUSCULORUM is a disease that a woman my wife met in college has, the woman spent her teen years in a mental home.
So now she out and going to college, she did not learn the social graces, that we were taught, she very blunt, but she has always been that way.
So we understand, she does not mean to be rude, it is just her, she 68 now & needs more help, the wife is helping her on the weekend sometimes.
So she does not betray my wife, but she one of about four friends who my wife is a better friend to them than they are to her.
I would have dropped them by now, but they are her friends, so I stay out of it as long as they do not make her cry or spend my money.
 
VThillman said:
It's part of growing up and growing old, I guess. One of the Hard Things in life can be experiencing how assumptions and expectations play out. One of the Great Things too. They are in the warp and the weave of the life you've made. I've had a few Great Friends.
Click to expand...
I will say the friends I have lost in the past were good friends for that stage in life. They say when you have some kids you find out who will stick around as friends and that holds true. I don’t have any of the friends I had before having kids. I have zero regrets tho!
 
Haha, I resemble that remark... in the past, I was the bane of all housewives! Too much of a party animal, lol, but now I've settled down a bit. I still drink beer and an occasional shot of booze, but I'm not up all night... I go to bed at a reasonable hour. Old age creeping up on me! :confused:
 
VThillman said:
When I worked in a machine shop, I had several casual friends and one close friend there. In the quarter-century since retirement, I see the casual friends seldom.

I still have that close friend, and a few casual friends, and a couple in-betweeners among the folks I still visit from my social service days, that are more than casual friends. but we really don't socialize.

Then there is my tribe, but that is a different thing.

One of these days, we maybe ought to see if we can work out what makes an acquaintance a casual friend, or a 'tweener', or a close friend.
Click to expand...
I'll have to sleep on this, and comeback maybe tomorrow, it's bedtime. :)

I have thoughts, but when don't I have thoughts :p
https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality
 
I am shocked to have three friends from work who still talk to me.
 
I have one human 'friend' that I have known for close to 50 years and we still keep in touch.

Other than that my Wife and this knucklehead is it. I trust a dog more than most humans.



20210416_124136.jpg
 
Pearl said:
How is Chase doing without Zeus??
Click to expand...

He has mellowed right out, seems like a different dog. I hope he stays that way if I bring another one home.
 
I have 3 close very good friends, saw them all yesterday. Have others who are friends also, and will help me when needed but not as close. Interesting thing was pre-covid I went out with quite a few people I considered friends, but not one of them reached out to see us. The three close friends still stayed in contact throughout. And the three friends are friends in low places, lol, music reference!
 
It saddens me to read what some of y'all have written. I guess I should feel blessed. I can't say that I've ever had a bad friend in my entire life. I don't have a lot of friends. Maybe a couple dozen if you count the ones I don't see more than once a year. Only a handful - maybe 8 or 10 - that I see regularly (the others are in distant states). The core group - the ones I "do things with regularly, once a week or so" - that's only 5.

I don't rate acquaintances. I don't remember any bad ones, but most I simply don't remember much. We had brief interactions at one time, and then moved on to different things. No problems or animosities, we just had a brief common interest that brought us together (which was sharing the same employer in some cases). But now that common interest is gone.

I've never had any family problems either. My son reports many friends that have gone bad on him. We were just talking about that exact thing at dinner last night. He is now more guarded in making friends. Also last night, my daughter reported a few friends (3 or so) that she moved away from as she learned more about them. She also reports one very close friend for years that she seldom talks to anymore. No animosity, they just went their own ways after high school/early college. Her other friends are golden, with many of them flying halfway around the world to visit on occasion.

I hope everybody here can repair old friendships gone bad, and avoid future ones that are problematic. I have a couple of good friends here on these forums. They know who they are. Yes, it's been about five years now since we saw each other in person, but I consider us friends for life. Chances are, we will never see each other in person again. That makes me sad. But they are good people. And we had some really good times together. Times I will remember happily until the day I die.
 
Bluetick21 said:
I will say the friends I have lost in the past were good friends for that stage in life. They say when you have some kids you find out who will stick around as friends and that holds true. I don’t have any of the friends I had before having kids. I have zero regrets tho!
Click to expand...
I had dozens of 'friends' when I worked in Bama, that I "did things for".
When I moved away, they all went POOF!
That old phrase 'A friend in need....' still rings true today. :(
See thread title.
Today, I have 2 people that I can call 'friends' down here.
 
Humanity has had several thousand years since 'civilization' began, to formalize the Friendship Standards that must have existed unverbalized long before then. The Greeks were sort of obsessive about stuff like that (stuff like the kinds of love for instance). Is it possible that they missed 'friendship'?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Back
Top