I have a family member coming to me for advice about her and her hubby that has developed Alzheimer and does a lot of sleeping, and she's not in good health.
Both are about 70 - give or take a couple of years.
They moved from AL to out in Southern E. TX several years ago to be in a older persons established community. Independent living, then assisted living and then skilled care (nursing home) all in the conglomeration. If they move out of the condo type building they are in, they would get 75% of what they paid back.
All his family is now dead, no help and no family within hundreds of miles. Like her closest relative is in the Texarkana area and 83 yrs old. A place to stop on a trip for overnight, then back to AL. She does want to "come home".
Part of wanting to come back is the green here and change of seasons, and almost all the family is here - and all the family possible helpers are here. And Tn Valley area is "home".
She has a gun safe and she has a safe safe that is massive. They would have to find the written down combination for her to get the tangible assets out of it. I don't know what they are, but he was a coin dealer for some years so I'm thinking real currency should SHTF.
They have a reasonable SS combined income.
She's asked for my thoughts and help to help her figure out options. And I know she wants to be here with family and not out there with no one to care if they live or die. It gets me as once when I posted about taking care of Mom on her last days, this cousin said "I wish I had someone to take care of us." And yes, I know if she comes back , I could be helping her some.
So, she's been holding off spending down their money and hanging on to the tangible assets.
Oh, if they stay they will need someone to come in and clean and repair a floating hardwood floor that was damaged. And she is not cooking so going out to get take our often.
1. I know how much the general nursing homes are here - $6500 a month and medicine. After assets are down to $2200 then medicaid can be applied for and probably be done. That could be for him.
She could have a home, or if assisted living it would be about $3500 a month and medicine (what Mom was paying the past two years. We sold her house to make up the difference in SS and what was needed.) So cousin would have to pay out until no funds. Then she would have to be in skilled care and get medicaid or something would have to happen.
2. Apartments in decent areas of town are now about $1000 a month or more for a 1 bedroom and some places a studio, if just her. She might be able to do that and make funds last longer.
3. He's not a vet, so no applying for VA benefits and his mind is not there so he could not legally assign her as his representative.
4. Since he's not really in right mind, I don't think she can have him redo his will as she is thinking she may need to do. And since whatever was not done 5 years ago Medicaid will go after anything they try to divert unless it's for health care and living and they can prove it.
Here is my first thoughts.
1. See if we can find a place here, nursing home for him and apartment for her. And I know what nursing home I'd suggest and which I would warn about.
2. They are building apartments all over the place right now so she should be able to get one.
3. Sell everything they can out there, or just abandon it if necessary. Not a good idea but maybe get someone to come in after they leave and clean it out for a fee.
4. She can still drive, so bring them back here and have a pod moved to wherever she lands here.
5. Get him to a nursing home asap, possibly do a prelimany interview and let him go directly there.
6. The guns will have to come in the car with them. Just as packed items, or I could suggest FFL and send to me here to hold for them. I don't think there are more than 2 or 3 handguns.
7. The safe would have to be highly insured freight carrier, or she would have to get the contents out and bring with her or mail in some manner. Then the safe would just be another heavy furniture item.
What am I missing? Typing this out is helping me think it through. She needs to be back with the family and so does he. But she is still mentally here enough to hurt being out there alone.
(Also, this is one that annoys most of the family at one time or another. But she's still family and was always one grade behind me in school and we grew up across the street from each other for most of 6 - 12th grades. )
So, ideas please, if you've read it this far.
Both are about 70 - give or take a couple of years.
They moved from AL to out in Southern E. TX several years ago to be in a older persons established community. Independent living, then assisted living and then skilled care (nursing home) all in the conglomeration. If they move out of the condo type building they are in, they would get 75% of what they paid back.
All his family is now dead, no help and no family within hundreds of miles. Like her closest relative is in the Texarkana area and 83 yrs old. A place to stop on a trip for overnight, then back to AL. She does want to "come home".
Part of wanting to come back is the green here and change of seasons, and almost all the family is here - and all the family possible helpers are here. And Tn Valley area is "home".
She has a gun safe and she has a safe safe that is massive. They would have to find the written down combination for her to get the tangible assets out of it. I don't know what they are, but he was a coin dealer for some years so I'm thinking real currency should SHTF.
They have a reasonable SS combined income.
She's asked for my thoughts and help to help her figure out options. And I know she wants to be here with family and not out there with no one to care if they live or die. It gets me as once when I posted about taking care of Mom on her last days, this cousin said "I wish I had someone to take care of us." And yes, I know if she comes back , I could be helping her some.
So, she's been holding off spending down their money and hanging on to the tangible assets.
Oh, if they stay they will need someone to come in and clean and repair a floating hardwood floor that was damaged. And she is not cooking so going out to get take our often.
1. I know how much the general nursing homes are here - $6500 a month and medicine. After assets are down to $2200 then medicaid can be applied for and probably be done. That could be for him.
She could have a home, or if assisted living it would be about $3500 a month and medicine (what Mom was paying the past two years. We sold her house to make up the difference in SS and what was needed.) So cousin would have to pay out until no funds. Then she would have to be in skilled care and get medicaid or something would have to happen.
2. Apartments in decent areas of town are now about $1000 a month or more for a 1 bedroom and some places a studio, if just her. She might be able to do that and make funds last longer.
3. He's not a vet, so no applying for VA benefits and his mind is not there so he could not legally assign her as his representative.
4. Since he's not really in right mind, I don't think she can have him redo his will as she is thinking she may need to do. And since whatever was not done 5 years ago Medicaid will go after anything they try to divert unless it's for health care and living and they can prove it.
Here is my first thoughts.
1. See if we can find a place here, nursing home for him and apartment for her. And I know what nursing home I'd suggest and which I would warn about.
2. They are building apartments all over the place right now so she should be able to get one.
3. Sell everything they can out there, or just abandon it if necessary. Not a good idea but maybe get someone to come in after they leave and clean it out for a fee.
4. She can still drive, so bring them back here and have a pod moved to wherever she lands here.
5. Get him to a nursing home asap, possibly do a prelimany interview and let him go directly there.
6. The guns will have to come in the car with them. Just as packed items, or I could suggest FFL and send to me here to hold for them. I don't think there are more than 2 or 3 handguns.
7. The safe would have to be highly insured freight carrier, or she would have to get the contents out and bring with her or mail in some manner. Then the safe would just be another heavy furniture item.
What am I missing? Typing this out is helping me think it through. She needs to be back with the family and so does he. But she is still mentally here enough to hurt being out there alone.
(Also, this is one that annoys most of the family at one time or another. But she's still family and was always one grade behind me in school and we grew up across the street from each other for most of 6 - 12th grades. )
So, ideas please, if you've read it this far.