American Children ‘Immersed in a Culture of Disrespect’

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Sentry18

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https://todaysmama.com/parenting/physician-american-children-immersed-in-a-culture-of-disrespect

Physician: American Children ‘Immersed in a Culture of Disrespect’
Americans have tried the kinder, gentler, let-me-be-your-friend approach to parenting for the last several decades. If the behavior problems in schools and the heightened level of sensitivity on college campuses are any indication, this parenting approach hasn’t produced the positive outcomes we were hoping for.
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Let’s face it. Almost every child has likely had some type of meltdown in public, causing great embarrassment to both the child’s parent and to other witnesses in the vicinity. But while such disrespectful behavior is embarrassing at age two, it’s downright horrifying the older a child gets.

Dr. Leonard Sax recently experienced one of these horrifying displays of disrespect in his medical practice. He describes the scenario in a recent edition of The Wall Street Journal:

“Kyle was absorbed in a videogame on his cellphone, so I asked his mom, ‘How long has Kyle had a stomach ache?’ Mom said, ‘I’m thinking it’s been about two days.’ Then Kyle replied, ‘Shut up, mom. You don’t know what you’re talking about.’ And he gave a snorty laugh, without looking up from his videogame. Kyle is 10 years old.”

Unfortunately, such behavior is no longer an anomaly, as Dr. Sax goes on to explain:

"I have been a physician for 29 years. This sort of language and behavior from a 10-year-old was very rare in the 1980s and 1990s. It would have been unusual a decade ago. It is common today. America’s children are immersed in a culture of disrespect: for parents, teachers, and one another. They learn it from television, even on the Disney Channel, where parents are portrayed as clueless, out-of-touch or absent. They learn it from celebrities or the Internet. They learn it from social media. They teach it to one another. They wear T-shirts emblazoned with slogans like ‘I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.’”

(RELATED ARTICLE: Doctor Nails the Problem With American Parenting)

But while disrespectful children have become the norm, Dr. Sax has found that respectful, obedient children still exist out there, largely because there are still a few parents who practice authoritative parenting. And according to Dr. Sax, it’s not too late for parents to change course and start instilling respect in their children. His recommendations for doing so are summarized in the following three points:

1. Put the family before the child.

“Prioritize the family. The family meal at home is more important than piling on after-school extracurricular activities. Instead of boosting self-esteem, teach humility.”

2. Remove distractions.

“[N]o screens when you are with your child. Put your cellphone away. No electronic devices at the dinner table. Teach the art of face-to-face conversation.”

3. Draw a line in the sand, and don’t look back.

“If you’re going to make a change, don’t be subtle. New Year’s Day is as good a time as any to sit down with your children and explain that there are going to be some changes in this household: changes in how we talk, in how we behave, in how we treat one another.”

Americans have tried the kinder, gentler, let-me-be-your-friend approach to parenting for the last several decades. If the behavior problems in schools and the heightened level of sensitivity on college campuses are any indication, this parenting approach hasn’t produced the positive outcomes we were hoping for. Is it time for today’s parents to reverse course and begin teaching their children to respect others first instead of their own little selves?
 
Of course they are. I blame liberals, we live in an anything goes world now. 'Some' teachers are to blame as well, the crap they tell kids in school is ridiculous. We had teachers (plural) telling our girls that we couldn't spank them, and if we did they needed to call 911 and report us.............true story, and one of them did one day.

I can't tell you how many times I went to the school and demanded discipline in the schools, I kept getting the line that it was our job to discipline them at home. My retort was, "well that doesn't do much good if they come to school and hear and are taught the exact opposite". I fought it for years to no avail. Teachers should teach, when they walk through the doors their personal opinions and politics are left at the door. Then of course there is always the no parent in the home issue, where both parents have to work.

Social media is a biggy too!!!
 
On the other hand, I see plenty of parents every day who give their kids crap for what look to me like inconsequential mistakes or behaviors. Choose your battles wisely. Kids get excited and wound up and haven't learned how to direct their energy. I think redirecting kids needs to be implemented. In many families, parents don't have a clue how to parent.
But a kid that behaves as the one in the linked story...that device would go in the lake. Here are your chores. I'll add one more for every back talk ya give me. Then at some point it'd be time for a talk, several times a day. Expectations. Screw the rewards system. This is life. Suck it up. Let me show you reality.
 
The twins ran laps every time they got in trouble for back talk, lying, not doing their chores. Started this when they were nine when they came to live with us. They are now 14 and are good runners. I do omit $5 allowance if a chore isn't done during the week. The other night they were arguing about who was going to do what. That is not ok, either. They looked to me to solve it after I listened to a few minutes of bickering. We don't argue in our house. I made them sit down and figure it out themselves. If they bickered after that, I would find 5 more chores for each of them, and no tv on Friday night. They figured it out.
 
When my Daughter was growing up she knew better than to be Disrespectful, she learned very early what Wall to Wall Discipline was. She was a little Mouthy occasionally, but she knew there was a cut off Point, which was a Point of no return, so she was careful to not go there. Now my Daughter is a Respected Police Officer/Detective, with a Command Presence that is Second to none.
 

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