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Justin76

Justin76

Awesome Friend
Neighbor
Joined
Dec 13, 2017
Messages
497
Location
Hong Kong wishing I was in Michigan
Im on the verge of having a Gwailo moment over here and completely going mad.

After 13 years in Hong Kong, im done, I really don't think I can do this any longer. Honestly I don't really give a f#$% anymore.
The crowds, pollution, rude, shallow, materialistic and two faced sneaky people....the crappy school systems and the fact my wife wants to wait until next JUNE!! to leave...She is as miserable as I am at the moment but she needs to get half of her hours for her license so she can practice in the US...and being a woman that is twice as stubborn as I am...there is no changing her mind.
Every morning I have people push and shove or just slam into me because they are on their phones or just don't care to move our of the way or try and avoid someone. That is the beginning of my day, every. single. day. By the time I get to work im all ready pissed off then the complaint emails and first world problems start...not including the stupid games the local staff play thinking I wont see or understand...
I have no motivation to work...I just go through the motions until I can go to the gym on my break and then come back and hide in my office...Deal with dinner service and hopefully sneak out the door at 9:30pm...

This morning was not my best moment... a guy wouldn't let anyone off the train before he decided to shove his way in...needless to say he ended up on the floor after receiving my knee to his balls....Not to proud of it but maybe one person in this crap-hole of a city will learn his lesson...I don't care either way...I hope it really hurt.

It's just getting to be to much, the only friends I have over here is my wife and son and our two dogs. They are honestly the only things keeping me from either seriously hurting someone or just walking out and leaving.

I can honestly say, I hate this place, the people, and everything about it. My wife is from here and she says she hates Hong Kong people....That should tell you something about this place? We have been skipping church lately because it's on the Island side and we need to deal with the crowds going and coming back...


I really hope I can make it to live in the house we just bought in Michigan...I'm hoping that our trip there in August will convince my wife to move earlier...She saw how happy our son was playing in the dirt and barefoot all the time the last time we went....
Who cares if we move in the winter...anything to get out of here....

I've been in Asia since I joined the Navy in 1994 until now, 24 years...
I need to go home....
 
@Justin76 I am sorry to hear you are so miserable over there and it sounds like you are suffering from work burnout to me. Try and do some things that will relax you when you get home eg a nice bubble bath by yourself or with your wife, a partner massage session, going for a walk somewhere you like. Concentrate on the good and enjoyable things.

Thinking of you and your family and you will be in our prayers.
 
It's not work...it's this place...it truly destroys your soul.
I enjoy being a Chef...I'm actually really good at it. They pay good for a white face who knows what they are doing...until they can back-stab you out...But they don't realize that I was in the Navy...on a command ship...I can play back stab politics in my sleep...

It's honestly the people here...they will piss on your head and tell you it's raining...No manners, class or any belief system besides money....Do you know how many times I've stepped in someones spit in the train or inside the station?
A perfect example, we had a guy come in this evening...Richard Li...his daddy owns about 40% of everything in HK...I talked to the guy for a bit, seemed like a down to earth fellow...(which is a surprise) I told my restaurant manager that he seemed like a nice guy... she said "yea hes really really rich!"
Thats all these people care about...what you have, who you know or what they can get from you.

I just need to get this off my chest...I don't want to trouble my wife anymore with it....

the only good part about all of this...is by my break time... im so pissed off my lifts in the gym are going up...
 
I've been where you are. Find a way to relax this weekend, get refreshed in August, and hold out as long as you can. If necessary perhaps you can move back a month or three early.
 
Justin76 said:
Im on the verge of having a Gwailo moment over here and completely going mad.

After 13 years in Hong Kong, im done, I really don't think I can do this any longer. Honestly I don't really give a f#$% anymore.
The crowds, pollution, rude, shallow, materialistic and two faced sneaky people....the crappy school systems and the fact my wife wants to wait until next JUNE!! to leave...She is as miserable as I am at the moment but she needs to get half of her hours for her license so she can practice in the US...and being a woman that is twice as stubborn as I am...there is no changing her mind.
Every morning I have people push and shove or just slam into me because they are on their phones or just don't care to move our of the way or try and avoid someone. That is the beginning of my day, every. single. day. By the time I get to work im all ready pissed off then the complaint emails and first world problems start...not including the stupid games the local staff play thinking I wont see or understand...
I have no motivation to work...I just go through the motions until I can go to the gym on my break and then come back and hide in my office...Deal with dinner service and hopefully sneak out the door at 9:30pm...

This morning was not my best moment... a guy wouldn't let anyone off the train before he decided to shove his way in...needless to say he ended up on the floor after receiving my knee to his balls....Not to proud of it but maybe one person in this crap-hole of a city will learn his lesson...I don't care either way...I hope it really hurt.

It's just getting to be to much, the only friends I have over here is my wife and son and our two dogs. They are honestly the only things keeping me from either seriously hurting someone or just walking out and leaving.

I can honestly say, I hate this place, the people, and everything about it. My wife is from here and she says she hates Hong Kong people....That should tell you something about this place? We have been skipping church lately because it's on the Island side and we need to deal with the crowds going and coming back...


I really hope I can make it to live in the house we just bought in Michigan...I'm hoping that our trip there in August will convince my wife to move earlier...She saw how happy our son was playing in the dirt and barefoot all the time the last time we went....
Who cares if we move in the winter...anything to get out of here....

I've been in Asia since I joined the Navy in 1994 until now, 24 years...
I need to go home....
Click to expand...


I don't think it is the wife or the country keeping you there.
I think it is you. Unless you've done some really bad crap to your wife and quilt has given her the job of begin the MAN OF THE HOUSE she needs to follow her husband or stay there,imo.
Seems your happiness is not that important at all.
I've read between the lines of your post and seems you will never get out of that place unless you decide to.
I take it personal because my son use to be the same way. Now he said he will never live with another person who controls him. I hope she sees the light or you show it to her.
Just my unwelcome opinion, I'm sure.
 
I'm sorry you're going through that but maybe like Meerkat sort of said,you need to just tell your wife you've had it,you're moving to Michigan and ask her if she's coming with you. In any relationship both people need to be happy or neither will be from what I've seen anyway.
 
I've got a list of goals I want to completed before retirement, one goal left on my my list. I also have a smart phone timer APP that is a count down timer to when I can tell my employer what I really think and walk out. Each day I stay pass this point is bonus money in the bank for me.

When millennia liberal know everything co-workers act up I just look at my timer APP and smile back at them.
When Owner shows up, creates chaos, transfers employees before training their replacement I just look at my timer APP and smile back at her.

0 years 07 months 08days 09 hours 44 minutes 52 seconds :ghostly:

Justin. Instead of concentrating on the minute to minute rudeness perhaps think forward to the end of the year? After if you havn't gone postal by the end of the year, then June of 2019 AND NO LATER?
 
Take another trip back to the states in the meantime. I get "crabby" if I haven't been to our farm in a few months. I get really crabby if it's less than 4 times a year. Husband does say that it'd be nice to use vacation time to go somewhere else for a change, but shamefully I ignore that and then tell him we can do both. I'm with Meerkat on this one. I have always moved where husband needed/wanted to be. Always. I don't think he'll ever move to the farm, I suspect that is for me when he passes. That makes me sad, but he is the man of the house. So meantime, I just deal with things where I'm at and enjoy the trips when they come. I'm in the US and get totally aggravated with the whackos in Albuquerque, high crime rate, etc....the small town farm area is where I love to be. Either put your foot down for the sake of your own mental health, or find some way to deal with it. Sounds like there's no compromise.
 
hiwall said:
Hang tough and keep the family together (that is what really counts).
Click to expand...

I think Justin is a good man judging by his comments. Hope he gets his life in order and his family comes here soon. I know he loves his wife and son so hoping for a good outcome.

I fear it will get bad for Americans in China once the trade war gets into high gear. And possible their families too.
 
My wife and I made an agreement a long while back, once her masters is done we are leaving. She just finished her thesis and graduates in December. The problem is she will only be licensed to work in the UK, Aus, NZ and HK...she needs another 500 hours to apply for her US license. It's easier to get that done here than in the US.
The next is our son, and family over here, we both want him to get a decent foundation in Chinese writing, it will be useful in the future for him. This is a big move for my wife, so naturally she is nervous, but she feels the same way I do about this place. Also, she is a director on her families company, that needs to be sorted out, our house we own over here, is in the family company name so I don't get killed for taxes, that needs to be sold and sorted out. I wish I could make everything happen over night but I cant. These things just take time and patience, which is what I am lacking is tons of patience.
But like some suggest Im not going to up and go and say with or without you, A man doesn't abandon his family, We are moving...just not fast enough.
Things get really stressful when you work from 8am until 9:30pm and get one day off a week, and constantly surrounded by the crush of people all the time.
Man is not meant to live in cities like this, breathing in compounds of acids and coal tars, surrounded by trash and the constant noise. Constantly dealing with people who have no common courtesy that their actions and lack of any consideration for anyone else affects other people...No decency, concern or shame....
It's times like this I miss being at sea.

We are going to have a long talk again this Sunday, I think we need to shorten our timeline a bit.
I don't think I can make it if we don't.
 
Caribou said:
If she can go to work around the first of the year she can have her hours in in about three months...
Click to expand...

Thats what we are talking about actually, she has a place that is hiring her on for a few hours a week starting in September, either way we are out of this place by March for me and June for her and the boy.
Hopefully this 3 week trip in august will change some plans for us and speed things along.
 
Justin76 said:
Thats what we are talking about actually, she has a place that is hiring her on for a few hours a week starting in September, either way we are out of this place by March for me and June for her and the boy.
Hopefully this 3 week trip in august will change some plans for us and speed things along.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear you have a trip coming up in August.
I'm sure it will help you and your family.
Isn't your son already a citizen on America since I assume he was born on U.S. military base there? Hope so this way only your wife will need to get citizenship here.
 
Justin, I feel for you. I know I would not be happy being around that many people every day.........I shudder at the thought of it. I live in a rural area and get annoyed when the tourists arrive, but that's nothing compared to what you are dealing with. Typically folks around here are pretty nice and easy going and I always have my home to retreat to.

I hope you can come to some sort of resolution. Being miserable sucks! Life's too short to spend a lot of time unhappy. At least you have a plan. I've noticed that when I start getting close to that "end date", no matter what it is, that I get that impatient feeling creeping in. It sounds like what you are going thru. It sounds like the sacrifices you are making will be worth it in the end. Focus on that!
 
I have to go with the Lazy L approach. The short timer count down. Look at them. Smile and check the count down clock. The closer you get the more fun you will have on the count down. I did have to have a talk with my wife before moving to Arizona. I can not survive in cold weather and it really came down to move with me or live apart. Oregon weather is not that extreme for most folks but my metabolism will not function at 50 F or below. The wife understood and we made the move. She does not enjoy the extreme heat but has become adapted to it. Because of her willingness to compromise, I try and do everything possible to make here life here the best it can be. Hang in there, your time will come.
 
What is she studying for that needs those hours? Is it realistic that the job market where you will live in Michigan will have a job paying enough for the sacrifice?
Is her family going to exhert pressure to keep here there after the 500 hour mark?
Etc.

Good luck.
 
Angie said:
What is she studying for that needs those hours? Is it realistic that the job market where you will live in Michigan will have a job paying enough for the sacrifice?
Is her family going to exhert pressure to keep here there after the 500 hour mark?
Etc.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

My wife is finishing her masters in art therapy and counseling. She wants to work with Vets after seeng the mess i was 10 yers ago. Kind of a hippie degree but I support her. Traverse City has lots of rich hippies from the south that need help with their petty problems.
On top of a BA in fine arts, and gallery management. She can get plenty of work if she wants. She would like to get settled for a year or two first before getting back to work. We're perfectly happy with her being a housewife and mother and looking after the farm when im at work.

Michigan needs a total of 1000hours of supervised practice before you can use your international license.
Her mother is pushing for another baby but that's not going to happen. Our minds are made up and we are leaving. Just not fast enough for my liking is all
 
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@Justin76 you are right to take your wife's qualifications and your son's added education into account as that is what your wife is interested in doing. A good discussion on how she would be able to cut the timeline down and complete her studies quickly would be a great idea. It is all really complicated when you are talking about company assets too and takes some time to sort out.

Hang in there and I am sure both of you will work out the best amicable agreement you can to cut down the timeline on your move.
 
Feel for you Justin. It sucks to be stuck in a place and situation that makes you miserable. I think you are doing the right thing by your family for what it's worth. Gutting it out will make your wife happier with the move if she can throw herself into something she likes to do when you finally get here. Happy wife happy life. The best way I've found to deal with frustration is exercise. Spending 2 hours a day pushing weights with my headphones in so I dont have to talk or interact with anyone really centers me. Better than more destructive outlets like drinking, etc. Best wishes and we look forward to having more good folks like you and your family stateside.
 
Justin76 said:
My wife is done with school, she just sent in her research paper. Graduation in December, there is nothing to do but wait.
Wish there was a way to speed things up but you cant do that.
Click to expand...
Can she start working on her hours? Now? When her paper is graded and accepted? Any way to get the diploma early?
 
Caribou said:
Can she start working on her hours? Now? When her paper is graded and accepted? Any way to get the diploma early?
Click to expand...


September is when she "officially " graduates. Everything starts from then.

Im trying to not think about this taking so long.

Today I walked out of my lunch service.
The staff in the kitchen were being their typical horrible selves to each other.
My two senior chefs whom are supposed to be teachers and mentors are complete phalluses to the junior non chinese staff. Very typical Hong Kong mentality.
I got fed up and pitched a cooked fish against the wall and left after humiliating them in front of the kitchen staff.
Im now in a pub having a beer.
I dont get paid enough for this crap.
 
Justin76 said:
September is when she "officially " graduates. Everything starts from then.

Im trying to not think about this taking so long.

Today I walked out of my lunch service.
The staff in the kitchen were being their typical horrible selves to each other.
My two senior chefs whom are supposed to be teachers and mentors are complete phalluses to the junior non chinese staff. Very typical Hong Kong mentality.
I got fed up and pitched a cooked fish against the wall and left after humiliating them in front of the kitchen staff.
Im now in a pub having a beer.
I dont get paid enough for this crap.
Click to expand...
People can treat each other so horribly. It seems the more people go up in rank, the more they go down in how they treat others. That is not 100%, but it is true in many instances.
 
Weedygarden said:
People can treat each other so horribly. It seems the more people go up in rank, the more they go down in how they treat others. That is not 100%, but it is true in many instances.
Click to expand...

Hong Kong chinese are some of the most racist, discriminating, group think, narrow minded people on earth.
If you are gwailo you automatically are rich and have money. Filipino, Thai or Indonesian, a domestic slave or waitress or hooker in wanchai. Black, they hold their noses because you smell and have ebola. Indian, rich and rude and probably make suits or sell drugs in chunking mansions...
If they aren't horrible to other people they are nasty to each other.
Some of my staff have been in this restaurant and club I run for over 18 years....in the same position no motivation to go anywhere else but waiter or assistant manager or sous chef, no responsiblity , initiative to do anything else except what they were shown to do two decades ago.
 
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