How do you choose?

[Patchouli]

My question, which never seems to get an answer from anyone I ask is: why are so many people getting cancer? Cancer used to be an extremely rare thing. Not anymore.

Diet, environment, genetics, better testing and medical care shows results , imho
@Amish Heart you’re funny. Men get remarried faster after becoming a widower than women after becoming widowed, for the most part.
I didn’t even have time to get someone a sympathy card before they’d remarried!!! alrighty then.

 

[user 4402]

Diet, environment, genetics, better testing and medical care shows results , imho
@Amish Heart you’re funny. Men get remarried faster after becoming a widower than women after becoming widowed, for the most part.
I didn’t even have time to get someone a sympathy card before they’d remarried!!! alrighty then.

Yes to some of that, but if all the diseases that we have today (talking on a broader scope than just cancer here) have always existed, without a way to treat them or even diagnosis, how are any of us here? It would seem the human race would not have gotten very far...I have my thoughts. Another point, though you did answer part of this already, why is it that these diseases plague Americans more than the rest of the world? And not by a little bit either...

 

[Pearl]

At that point, it's about not being lonely. I understand that. But, (and it's a big but), I wonder if they are realizing that one of them is going to have to take care of the other one, and are they ready for that, and if they are widowed, they may have already done that before.

Working around older folks for so many years has taught me a lot!! I have known four couples who lived in assisted living before remarrying then bought a house together!!

 

[sonya123]

Yes to some of that, but if all the diseases that we have today (talking on a broader scope than just cancer here) have always existed, without a way to treat them or even diagnosis, how are any of us here? It would seem the human race would not have gotten very far...I have my thoughts. Another point, though you did answer part of this already, why is it that these diseases plague Americans more than the rest of the world? And not by a little bit either...

You have way way more people than before so of course more would get cancer. Unhealthy kids generally died before they grew up even 100 years ago, so the adult older population was much healthier also. As for why the US: unhealthy food is my guess, and eating too much of it. It's not healthy to be so overweight, but most of the population is

 

[snappy1]

I agree, @sonya123 ! Preservatives, chemicals and extra large servings of same are the main reasons in this country.

 

[LadyLocust]

I want to answer before reading all the comments so I don't second guess or alter what I feel.
We catch flack every so often because we eat "clean." I make our hygiene products: soaps, deodorant, lotions, toothpaste, etc. I've been called a hippy, a freak, a psycho and who knows what else when I'm out of earshot. We live this way, because we don't want cancer or dementia or whatever other endless illnesses are rampant.
With that, I do go to the OBGYN annually but otherwise, we don't go to doctors unless there is a need. When my dr. asked if I've had a mammogram, I said no and that I didn't plan on having one. When she asked why not, I said in addition to not having it in the family, I wouldn't seek treatment if they found anything. She was shocked by that. It seems everyone seeks "treatment." I strongly believe in preventing rather than curing. I know it's not 100%, but why add a drop to the bucket?
I sure don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this.

 

[Magus]

My question, which never seems to get an answer from anyone I ask is: why are so many people getting cancer? Cancer used to be an extremely rare thing. Not anymore.

Nuclear tests.
Increased pollution.
UHF radiation.
VHF radiation.
Crap in the water.
Chemical additives in EVERYTHING.
preservatives.
Solar cycle returning to active.
Stress.

 

[winds-of-change]

Diet, environment, genetics, better testing and medical care shows results , imho
@Amish Heart you’re funny. Men get remarried faster after becoming a widower than women after becoming widowed, for the most part.
I didn’t even have time to get someone a sympathy card before they’d remarried!!! alrighty then.

I agree with both comments. I think men get remarried faster than women is because the wives mostly take care of the men. They want/need to be cooked for, their clothes and houses cleaned. Women are in no hurry to be caring for someone again, usually.

 

[Haertig]

I believe in supporting someone who is trying to make a difficult decision, no matter what their choice is. Because the choice they eventually make will always be the right choice for them. It does not matter what choice I would make under the same circumstances. Honestly, I don't know what choice I'll make until I have to make it. Will I shun treatment if I get cancer? I can't say. My dad died of it. Would I commit suicide if I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's? I can't say. My mom died of it. These are two topics that I have heard others profess that they have made advance decisions for. Many people say "I would never do ..." when they're not facing the decision. Myself included. That's when I smile and support their decision. And when they change their mind later, I smile and support that decision too. I hope others will support me when I have to make a decision. But I don't know what it will be yet.

 

[DrJenner]

Good food for thought @Patchouli and heavy topic.

I've seen both sides of this and feel it is a deeply personal choice.
I've taken care of people who have sought natural remedies sold by snake oil salesman promising a cure - who died. At the end of their life they were begging for chemo. It was so unfortunate because a lot of times it is a curable cancer with chemo/radiation.
I've taken care of people who have taken a palliative approach to their cancer and just want to be home, only seek hospital care if they need respite.
Pain and fear are always an issue at the end, no matter what approach you take. Fear of the unknown, fear to leave your family, etc. Rare is the case where this doesn't happen.

My mom had lymphoma with a lung mass in addition to melanoma. Her friends all told her to see some natural remedy guru, I had her undergo surgery to remove the mass and chemo for the lymphoma. She was eventually cured after completing several cycles of chemo. Her friend (same age as her) that had a tumor next to her eye died within a year after doing some raw food/juice diet and expensive supplements sold by this guru. Before my mom started down this path, we had a conversation about side effects of chemo (brain fog, etc) and if that was an acceptable trade off ie..if she could live with this.

My husband (a doctor) hasn't seen a doctor in years. Doesn't get colonoscopies because colon cancer doesn't run in his family. I haven't seen a doctor in 5 years, other than dermatologist for a skin check since melanoma runs in my family.

People are healthy until they aren't. I've seen 80-90 year olds who have never gone to the doctor and are fine. Other 40-50 year olds with so many chronic conditions and are so sickly they might as well be 90. I've seen people come in with a cardiac arrest due to a heart attack who were just as their cardiologist's office yesterday, and I've seen others who never saw a doctor in their life because "they were healthy". I've seen healthy vegans have severe blockages in their coronaries. The people that do everything right are often the ones who still end up with cancers, etc, no matter how they eat or abstain from smoking/alcohol.
The ones that baffle me though are the people who come in and refuse everything...so why did you exactly come into the hospital then?

Bottom line, extremely personal choice and weigh risk/benefit with your decision. Be aware with critical illness, sometimes people change their minds when it is too late. Many factors with this: family pressures, pain/suffering, fear of dying, etc.

 

[Pearl]

I want to answer before reading all the comments so I don't second guess or alter what I feel.
We catch flack every so often because we eat "clean." I make our hygiene products: soaps, deodorant, lotions, toothpaste, etc. I've been called a hippy, a freak, a psycho and who knows what else when I'm out of earshot. We live this way, because we don't want cancer or dementia or whatever other endless illnesses are rampant.
With that, I do go to the OBGYN annually but otherwise, we don't go to doctors unless there is a need. When my dr. asked if I've had a mammogram, I said no and that I didn't plan on having one. When she asked why not, I said in addition to not having it in the family, I wouldn't seek treatment if they found anything. She was shocked by that. It seems everyone seeks "treatment." I strongly believe in preventing rather than curing. I know it's not 100%, but why add a drop to the bucket?
I sure don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this.

I'm sorry for calling you all those names! Lol!

 

[LadyLocust]

Nuclear tests.
Increased pollution.
UHF radiation.
VHF radiation.
Crap in the water.
Chemical additives in EVERYTHING.
preservatives.
Solar cycle returning to active.
Stress.

One of the best examples of this that most folks can comprehend: There are 11 standard food colorants. 8 of those 11 are toxic &/or carcinogens (yet approved by the FDA). Yes, toxic as in it will kill you - but they don't allow enough in a single serving to kill you so it's all good

 

[Pearl]

One of the best examples of this that most folks can comprehend: There are 11 standard food colorants. 8 of those 11 are toxic &/or carcinogens (yet approved by the FDA). Yes, toxic as in it will kill you - but they don't allow enough in a single serving to kill you so it's all good

How many people eat one serving??

 

[forcast]

It is a rough topic. Last year I watched my great grandmother waste away thru her dementia amongst other things. I spent a week in the hospital with her before the decision was made to take her home on hospice. Within 24 hours of her getting home she passed. She was surrounded by family and I was holding her hand. She was 98 years old. The last of 10 kids to pass.

4 months ago to the day my SO died in an accident. Death on impact. What I wouldn't give to have even had a few hours to say goodbye. He died 7 days before his 38th birthday. We buried him the day after.

His grandpa is currently in yet another remission from cancer after round and round of treatment. He's losing the will to live. We seriously thought he wouldn't make it when he found out about my SO. He was the only grandson and namesake. The family name died with him.

Personally, I would rather have 6 months to live exactly how I want to than a year of poking, prodding, illness and doctors. But hard to find out you're dying when you never go to doctors.

Wishing wanting that one more day with a dieing loved one seems selfish to me. Why do we wait to tell people how important they are in our lives untill they are dieing?

 

[ABR]

Wishing wanting that one more day with a dieing loved one seems selfish to me. Why do we wait to tell people how important they are in our lives untill they are dieing?

With my SO it wasn't that I waited to tell him how important he was. I told him every day that I loved him. BUT we were long distance and hadn’t seen each other in over a week when he died. It would be different if we had lived together and I had just seen him a few hours prior to his accident. I also ask myself if he would have gone out that night if I had been there or even called him instead of falling asleep. I don't know, and that unknown haunts me 24/7.

 

[angie_nrs]

I guess I'll never know until I'm in that situation. I hope I never have to make that decision, but my thought is a NO to chemo and radiation. It's tough to say b/c every situation is different. I'd have to consider the facts first. However, if I was diagnosed, it'd probably be late stage since I don't go to the doctor. I try to make healthy choices, although I could do better in that regard as well.

Everyone has an expiration date. Only God knows what that is. I think about this topic probably more often than I should. The big C probably scares me more than anything else. But, I could die in a fatal car accident tomorrow, so I try not to spend to much time thinking about it. I know where my next stop is, so I don't fear death. Although, I would feel bad for my family that's left behind to pick up the pieces. As long as I feel healthy, I'm going to live life as best as I can. We're all going to be together again soon enough. Saying goodbye is always hard, so it's best to try and focus on the glory that awaits us on the other side.

 

[Magus]

With my SO it wasn't that I waited to tell him how important he was. I told him every day that I loved him. BUT we were long distance and hadn’t seen each other in over a week when he died. It would be different if we had lived together and I had just seen him a few hours prior to his accident. I also ask myself if he would have gone out that night if I had been there or even called him instead of falling asleep. I don't know, and that unknown haunts me 24/7.

Don't do that to yourself kid. it's not worth it, it is what it is and could have, should have, might have means nothing. it was time. he fulfilled his purpose and got called back. On the bright side, the time he waits on you will seem like minutes compared to the time you wait on him. just keep remembering your love, he'll be around, waiting.

 

[Pearl]

Don't do that to yourself kid. it's not worth it, it is what it is and could have, should have, might have means nothing. it was time. he fulfilled his purpose and got called back. On the bright side, the time he waits on you will seem like minutes compared to the time you wait on him. just keep remembering your love, he'll be around, waiting.

Thanks Magus, great words!!

 

[Magus]

I have moments. part of my job.