How do you deal with uncooperative family members who refuse to see what's coming?

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@shanrose nice to meet you.
As far as your husband (oh hang on, I should preface this by saying it’s just my opinion) rather than stating that the world or nation or whatever is going to collapse, maybe suggest that you have X Y and Z items in case the power goes out. If he is a reasonable person, he’ll probably shrug and say okay. You can laugh and say be glad I didn’t want a $1000 pair of heels 👠. Then maybe suggest you have $XXX on hand in case the roads are bad and you need cash for something. And so on. If you present all the little scenarios, it’s an easier bite to chew. If you try to throw the collapse of civilization at a person, they are apt to recoil out of sheer terror of the situation.
As far as others, I agree they are of little concern to your preps; however, if it is someone you care about, you do sorta as above. Wherever they live, pick the natural disaster: hurricane, tornado, fire, power or water shortages etc. Then nonchalantly ask, “You do keep a few days worth of things you need for that don’t you?” Depending upon their response as an afterthought you might just say, “Way stores are, you might have a weeks worth.” Then follow it up with a laughable like, “I don’t think anyone would be safe if I ran out of coffee and couldn’t get out to get more.” 😂. That plants the seed in a non-scary way. Be mindful not to use those special words like preps or supplies or emergency. Those can be scary 🙄
 
There are some great thoughts here. Thanks to all!

When I started my prepping journey, my wife wasn't on board. I told her this: "You don't have to do anything, but you can't stand in my way and prevent me from seeing to the safety of my family." She agreed. Now, she's on-board - it took some time and seeing all our friends who are preppers helped a lot. Spouses are a big deal and it's a huge help if you're both pulling in the same direction.

Other family members are not the same. My two brothers are pretty far left and don't prep much at all. They do have generators and fuel, camping supplies and stuff like that, but no stores of food and other consumables, water, water purification, etc. They both have plenty of land and enjoy flower gardens but turn their noses up at growing a veggie garden. I guess that sends the wrong message to their neighbors. Whatever.

They both live far enough away that they won't come knocking on my door looking to siphon off my supplies. I have had acquaintances drop comments like "I know where I'm going if the sh*t hits the fan!", to which I replied "And that's why I keep firearms and plenty of ammo, too." People who think that way really irk me.

As for the state of the country, it has been changing over the last several decades. This is nothing like the United States of America I was born into in 1965. And it will continue to change, sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better. But we can keep on doing our thing and being as self-reliant and self-sufficient as possible.
 
Hardcalibres said:
One year is but a tick of a watch in the context of history.......

When people debate the question of whether we will experience a slow decline or a collapse, the correct answer is both.

Any person not afflicted with normalcy bias will assess that the West is in decline

On the question of exactly when the collapse will come, my crystal ball is no better than anyone elses.

That is the reason why the wisest in the survivalism community suggest people don't dwell on scenarios or doomsday predictions.

Just accept that:
  1. things will get worse (gradually and/or suddenly)
  2. you can improve your chances of surviving what will and also might happen
  3. time spent on excessive speculation about scenarios is wasted
  4. it is best to identify key survivalism capabilities and resources that are needed for almost all possible scenarios and get to work on prepping those
If you want to avoid difficult conversations with friends and relatives......and extreme problems during an actual crisis.....don't tell them about your views or prepping.

Never tell your neighbors about your prepping.

You won't convince people with Normalcy Bias to prep for themselves.....but like drowning people after a ship sinks, they can/will take you down with them.
Click to expand...

Wisdom in there. I'm trying to determine what I most likely need to prepare for as I'm uncertain how this will likely play out.
 
Haertig said:
I would be interested to hear, specifically, about what signs you are seeing. I see problems in our country. Things that need to change. But I do not see imminent collapse.

I have preps. Enough for about 6 months. I don't prep for longer than that because I don't see the signs of collapse that you say people are in denial about. Nor would I want to live in a collapsed society for more than 6 months anyway - but that's a different discussion. Could you be specific on what you are talking about? Maybe just list half a dozen of these signs that you are referring to? Thanks!
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I see uncontrolled immigration through the nonexistent southern border and I've been watching videos of migrants attacks on locals in France and other places. I see prices going way up, freedom of speech going way down, a militarized police force, questionable elections, gun control legislation, widespread drug problems, jobs sent overseas...
 
Caribou said:
My wife and your husband would be a good fit. Her life is controlled by fear. She is afraid of me being right so I must be wrong. I have been taking care of Mom for over three years. In a week I'll be heading home for doctor visits. When I get home my preps will be in worse shape than the were the last visit home. She won't eat my preps and replace them. She buys what she wants to eat and puts them in the spare bedroom because my food is going to poison her. I gave her "One second After" when I finished it and that helped, for a bit. I saw something coming decades ago. Today I have a better idea what I've been prepping for. "You always say that but nothing ever happens." The store shelves don't count, nor does the inflation, etc. She doesn't want to see it, and there are none so blind as those who will not see.

After my second friend said he would just come to my house, I quit trying to wake people up. I keep quiet about my preps except with friends that agree with me or those on the other side of the continent. One friend thought it was hilarious to tell me he was coming to my house. While he is laughing he is telling me about telling other friends the same thing and their not thinking it funny. When he bothered to look up all he got was a stone face. He quit laughing but I doubt he ever figured out that he just told he that I was going to have to kill someone that I cared for. I couldn't explain why he had just said because I didn't want him coming in blazing or sitting outside waiting to pick me off. People are willfully ignorant. This guy in a Mormon so I know others have tried to wake him up.
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I hear the same: "You say this and that but it doesn't happen." Very frustrating.
 
Proverbs 31:10-11...

Tell the family the truth, let them make their own decisions. You cannot do more than that. You gotta learn to live with the fact that people are going to disappoint you- don't let it detract from your life.

Your husband is the real concern here. Pray and read the Bible with him. Hold him (and yourself) accountable to those truths and everything will be fine. No physical preps will matter if you and him cannot get on the same page...

.02
 
shanrose said:
I see uncontrolled immigration through the nonexistent southern border and I've been watching videos of migrants attacks on locals in France and other places. I see prices going way up, freedom of speech going way down, a militarized police force, questionable elections, gun control legislation, widespread drug problems, jobs sent overseas...
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Thank you for the list. But I do not agree with you that this is indicative of an impending collapse. Problems needing attention, yes. Collapse, no.

I guess I would be one of the people you claim are in "denial". You see prices going way up. I do too. But we have seen that many times before. So has every other country. And FWIW, my investments are going way up too. So even though I don't like the higher prices, I can pay them.

You see freedom of speech going down. What I see is a bunch of idiots "canceling" people who don't agree with them. I can and do say anything I want. I have no fear doing this. These "cancel people" will fall by the wayside soon enough.

You see a militarized police force. I see a castrated police force. With their hands tied behind their back. The total opposite of your observation.

You see questionable elections. I do too, to a degree. But I also see a population that is not going to be putting up with this for long. I see consequences that will be quite dire for those perpetuating questionable elections.

You see gun control legislation. I have seen that since the day I was born (which wasn't recent). I also see much wider spread concealed carry these days, many states without needing a permit. So there are many positive things happening, if you don't live in California or other places like that. But even California and its wannabees are getting pushed back. Most other states are not emulating California et.al. They are shunning them.

Regarding widespread drug problems, ... I see this as a culling of the unproductive part of society. We have too many people to take care of as it is. We can't blindly support everybody for much longer. Why not let the least useful ones get rid of themselves? Yeah, the sidewalks may be a little messy now, but they will be cleaned up.

Jobs sent overseas ... that's nothing new. But for the most part, the jobs that require brains are still here and it's the mundane jobs that are gone. How many of us yearn to sit on an assembly line inserting our assigned transistor into that circuit board coming down the conveyor belt in front of us day after day? Yes, we want jobs here, but having mostly retained the brains part of the equation, I think we are still in a good position to keeps tabs on the situation. The real problem is that we all want 80 inch TV's that only cost $400. And we're not going to get that if the people with brains are the ones physically building them.

I am not trying to be argumentative in presenting my countering viewpoints to yours. I'm just pointing out why, with specific examples, I "am in denial" to your way of thinking. I see nothing that can't be fixed here. I see no imminent collapse. I am prepped to get through the rough spots that are ahead, but not for a hermit existence totally on my own against the backdrop of a smoldering USA behind me.
 
shanrose said:
So I've been seeing the signs of America's collapse for awhile but my husband keeps insisting no collapse is coming. I think he's in denial. The rest of my family is the same and it's a source of grief and stress because they're unprepared. I'm trying to do prepare basically on my own and I wondered if others dealt with uncooperative family members and how you handle it? I would appreciate any suggestions.
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Some of us have seen the signs and get it. Some people are ostriches and "Don't say that!" about it.

Don't show anyone your food or talk about how much you have. Even the dearest people will kill if they are starving. The only person who has seen my preps is a friend of mine who is also prepping. The less said, probably the better. Once you've talked about it, the cat is out of the bag. Hungry people, especially people with hungry children who know you have food will show up at your door. They may have been joking, but they won't be when reality hits. My grandparents had a situation during the Dirty Thirties where a family did show up at their house before lunch. My grandparents had a few potatoes in really bad shape and they were ashamed of them. What they didn't know was that the family who showed up had absolutely nothing to eat at their house and were hoping for something, anything to eat.

When I was discussing with someone about the people hiding in the bunkers in Israel when the fighting first started, I said they could have had a little water, food and a porta potty. They could have had a few blankets. The response, "Like all those crazy people who hoard food for the end times?" My response was if they bothered to have a place to hide, they could of at least had food and water in it.
 
The people who are prepped will stick out like sore thumbs no matter how they try to hide it. There will be lights in their houses. The gentle hum of generators will be there. The smells of meat on the grill will waft over the neighborhood. The prepped will not be falling sick everywhere. They will not be mingling with others complaining about how bad things are. The prepped will not look emaciated like everyone else.

These are all good things. But it's not like the unprepared will not notice. You need to be able to defend what you have, and be willing to do that in the gravest extreme. The unprepared might notice the dead bodies in your front yard too. Laying there ten feet from your door with arms outstretched reaching towards your house (if you haven't pulled them inside to cook, dry and preserve first). But maybe when they notice this will give notice that you are indeed prepared. And I predict you'll need to be.

Preps are necessary. Part of these preps are the mental fortitude, skill training, equipment on hand, and pre-planned cover and concealment to be able to put a bullet through someone else's brain, with speed, accuracy and accomplishing it before they are an actual threat to your life. I think this part will be more difficult for many people than they think. These other people who are wanting your stuff, which it will be very evident that you have, are not going to just go away because you tell them to. And you are going to recognize some of them - as your neighbors. If you wait until they are physically assaulting you, then you waited too long and your chances of survival are already pretty iffy. This means that you're going to have to be able to shoot people that you may know when they are just walking near your place hungry, and maybe thinking about attacking you (or so you believe). That could be a tough one. I think some people here are ready for this. But I'm betting just as many are not. I'm not sure I am. I have the equipment, skill, and pre-planning all in place. The mental fortitude - I will never know that until the actual time comes. Everybody brags that they have it ... but do they?
 
Firstly, prepping seems to be a dirty word. If I said prepping to anyone outside the family, (and I don't) they would look at me even more strangely them they do now. However, if I say 'homesteading' - ie, filling my larder with jam I made, that's ok, in fact, they would congratulate me, and say their 'Granny used to do that. '
Preppers and conspiracy theorists are labelled as nutjobs. Maybe I am 🤣 and I'm nowhere near as prepped as some of you folk, for different reasons; but I'm a damn sight more ready than most here.
For instance, the two storms here have put the power out in the smalltown nearby. I guarantee not one of the people who's lives depend totally on electric, and have been without it for three days, will go and buy a camping stove or extra water when this is over.

I echo Morgan's advice (I think). Don't mind anyone else. Find people (like us!) who are on your wavelength, because they are the ones that will advise and help you.
Pay off your house, get rid of your debt. To my mind, as a Mum, all I've been doing by storing food is looking out for my own, which is my job as a parent anyway.
Go forth and prep :)
As I say to my children- the people who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Your husband will appreciate what you've done one day, but I hope he never needs too.
 
Canon29 said:
Proverbs 31:10-11...

Tell the family the truth, let them make their own decisions. You cannot do more than that. You gotta learn to live with the fact that people are going to disappoint you- don't let it detract from your life.

Your husband is the real concern here. Pray and read the Bible with him. Hold him (and yourself) accountable to those truths and everything will be fine. No physical preps will matter if you and him cannot get on the same page...

.02
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My friend suggested that also.
 
shanrose said:
Wisdom in there. I'm trying to determine what I most likely need to prepare for as I'm uncertain how this will likely play out.
Click to expand...
You could start by looking at the problem this way:

Define levels of preparedness that tie in with key capabilities - which would be the following:

  1. Water Independence
  2. Sewage Independence
  3. Heat Independence
  4. Financial Independence
  5. Security Independence
  6. Medical Independence
  7. Communications Independence
  8. Electric Independence
  9. Vehicle/machinery fuel Independence
  10. Food Independence
  11. Repair/Manufacturing/Construction Independence
  12. Complete Independence

If you like flowcharts, then here is a epic one about prepping:

Prepping matrix.jpg



You will need to zoom in, to look at the detail.

But don't get daunted by all this, survivalism is a journey more so than a destination.
 
shanrose said:
...but my husband keeps insisting no collapse is coming. I think he's in denial. ...
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Read "One Second After" with your husband. There are many types of "collapses" coming. This is one risk the government even recognizes.

811AEUwOhIL._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg

shanrose said:
...I wondered if others dealt with uncooperative family members and how you handle it? ...
Click to expand...
I've told my brother-in-law he is pulling perpetual night time security.
 
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Hardcalibres said:
You could start by looking at the problem this way:

Define levels of preparedness that tie in with key capabilities - which would be the following:

  1. Water Independence
  2. Sewage Independence
  3. Heat Independence
  4. Financial Independence
  5. Security Independence
  6. Medical Independence
  7. Communications Independence
  8. Electric Independence
  9. Vehicle/machinery fuel Independence
  10. Food Independence
  11. Repair/Manufacturing/Construction Independence
  12. Complete Independence

If you like flowcharts, then here is a epic one about prepping:

View attachment 123350


You will need to zoom in, to look at the detail.

But don't get daunted by all this, survivalism is a journey more so than a destination.
Click to expand...
Don't want to derail this thread so will start a new one based on this chart.
 
Me? A prepper? REALLY?

I got some stuff for camping and fishing. I got water barrels to water my garden cause I am cheap.

Sure, I got lanterns, ever tried to bait a hook in the dark :p

Yeah, don't ever fall for the skeet shooting, those suckers are inedible :p

BTW, Im a RSO for the local gun club, you should come out sometime :)
 
Harden your heart. Start by killing little things and then keep working at killing increasingly larger things.

It is my opinion that preppers "might" do "slightly" better than non-preppers.

There are just too many harsh unavoidable realities that "both" preppers and non-preppers can't avoid. (To name only a few, Abundant pure fresh water you totally control, Abundant free food for "only" your personal consumption. Few to zero problems with any humans.)

I think preppers are more delusional than non-preppers.

Sadly, preppers are simply NOT-SERIOUS. There are people who have a much higher probability of survival. This is because they live-it, either constantly or with consistent regularity. But everyone was given a fair chance. Few, very few embraced that gift.
 
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Haertig said:
Thank you for the list. But I do not agree with you that this is indicative of an impending collapse. Problems needing attention, yes. Collapse, no.

I guess I would be one of the people you claim are in "denial". You see prices going way up. I do too. But we have seen that many times before. So has every other country. And FWIW, my investments are going way up too. So even though I don't like the higher prices, I can pay them.

You see freedom of speech going down. What I see is a bunch of idiots "canceling" people who don't agree with them. I can and do say anything I want. I have no fear doing this. These "cancel people" will fall by the wayside soon enough.

You see a militarized police force. I see a castrated police force. With their hands tied behind their back. The total opposite of your observation.

You see questionable elections. I do too, to a degree. But I also see a population that is not going to be putting up with this for long. I see consequences that will be quite dire for those perpetuating questionable elections.

You see gun control legislation. I have seen that since the day I was born (which wasn't recent). I also see much wider spread concealed carry these days, many states without needing a permit. So there are many positive things happening, if you don't live in California or other places like that. But even California and its wannabees are getting pushed back. Most other states are not emulating California et.al. They are shunning them.

Regarding widespread drug problems, ... I see this as a culling of the unproductive part of society. We have too many people to take care of as it is. We can't blindly support everybody for much longer. Why not let the least useful ones get rid of themselves? Yeah, the sidewalks may be a little messy now, but they will be cleaned up.

Jobs sent overseas ... that's nothing new. But for the most part, the jobs that require brains are still here and it's the mundane jobs that are gone. How many of us yearn to sit on an assembly line inserting our assigned transistor into that circuit board coming down the conveyor belt in front of us day after day? Yes, we want jobs here, but having mostly retained the brains part of the equation, I think we are still in a good position to keeps tabs on the situation. The real problem is that we all want 80 inch TV's that only cost $400. And we're not going to get that if the people with brains are the ones physically building them.

I am not trying to be argumentative in presenting my countering viewpoints to yours. I'm just pointing out why, with specific examples, I "am in denial" to your way of thinking. I see nothing that can't be fixed here. I see no imminent collapse. I am prepped to get through the rough spots that are ahead, but not for a hermit existence totally on my own against the backdrop of a smoldering USA behind me.
Click to expand...
I wish that I shared your optimism! I too am older and have seen the country change into something that I do not recognize. These are the reasons behind my viewpoints. It's not comprehensive but just a sampling:

1. Pastor Matt Trewhella's daughter and others were arrested by police for preaching on the sidewalk:

www.defytyrants.com

2. Attorney John Whitehead has written extensively on the dangers of the militarization of police. Incidents of brutality are easily found online. Of course there are many good officers:

https://www.rutherford.org/publicat...ain_street_the_militarization_of_local_police
3. I worked for a politician years back who had won a local election. She told me that her opponent made a phone call and she was out and he was in. A guy who worked for my husband went to vote and found that his dead father had "voted" before him.

4. Gun control legislation is truly something that should make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. We would not feel safe in our own homes, especially with the sheer numbers of people addicted to drugs. Multiple thousands of people are streaming in through our border - we have no idea who these people are. Australia refused a boatload of sex offenders and they were deposited here. I had the misfortune of having one approach me in a store. More people means more crime. The migrants from 150 different countries are being put up in nice hotels (that we're paying for) in NY and are now demanding room service. They've been indoctrinated into entitlement and they just might feel entitled to your house and its contents.

They're implementing gun control a little at a time - like a boa constrictor squeezing its prey. When you look back at those such as Hitler, Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, etc. - they disarmed the people before slaughtering them. One of the worst was the Christian Armenien slaughter where women were stripped, raped, impaled through their privates and hung on a cross. Truly a heart controlled by Satan could only do such a thing.

5. I knew a lot of drug-addicted youth from the town we used to live in and they were good kids who were indoctrinated into using drugs from the satanically-inspired music and video games marketed to youth. The worst people are those in high positions who are the ones we all wish would self-destruct.

6. Some jobs were sent overseas and you may have a point.

I don't believe you're being argumentative - nor am I - we're just sharing our viewpoints. I wish that I could feel more optimistic but I don't like what I see. It's encroaching tyranny.
 
Magpie said:
Firstly, prepping seems to be a dirty word. If I said prepping to anyone outside the family, (and I don't) they would look at me even more strangely them they do now. However, if I say 'homesteading' - ie, filling my larder with jam I made, that's ok, in fact, they would congratulate me, and say their 'Granny used to do that. '
Preppers and conspiracy theorists are labelled as nutjobs. Maybe I am 🤣 and I'm nowhere near as prepped as some of you folk, for different reasons; but I'm a damn sight more ready than most here.
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That comment about homesteading, or country living like grand or great grandparents is how I've always referred to things. And I like to know how to do things like sew, quilt, etc. From being a scary prepper to a quirky old fashioned person, it may give a safety in how others perceive you and what you do.
Sorta like camping a lot, and cooking camping recipes - that's a fun hobby (prep) also.
 
dademoss said:
Me? A prepper? REALLY?

I got some stuff for camping and fishing. I got water barrels to water my garden cause I am cheap.

Sure, I got lanterns, ever tried to bait a hook in the dark :p

Yeah, don't ever fall for the skeet shooting, those suckers are inedible :p

BTW, Im a RSO for the local gun club, you should come out sometime :)
Click to expand...
Yep, I buy things like lanterns, etc., for camping. Life may look more like camping in the future anyway.
 
I'm like yourself @Swing - I like the doing and making that revolves around it, and reusing items.
I'm the first to admit I'm no prepper, (I think 'organised' or 'forward thinking') but I could be if I had to an extent. I can kill a small animal, but I can't physically manage a large one, so I would resort to more rabbits or fowl for any meat. I admire those who can be fully self-sufficient, especially in difficult terrains like Alaska.
 
in laws are all sheeple, wife's cousin when I have mentioned being prepared says " it will never happen so lets not talk about it" so we dont, wife is a country girl born and bred and was brought up in an off grid cottage and is with me on being prepared, the rest can go to hell WTSHTF.
 
lonewolf said:
in laws are all sheeple, wife's cousin when I have mentioned being prepared says " it will never happen so lets not talk about it" so we dont, wife is a country girl born and bred and was brought up in an off grid cottage and is with me on being prepared, the rest can go to hell WTSHTF.
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I see why you have adopted that attitude - we're sometimes ridiculed or looked down on for our beliefs and made to feel as we're "nutty conspiracy theorists." I think the truth is that we choose to see things as they really are, not as we wish them to be.
 
shanrose said:
I see why you have adopted that attitude - we're sometimes ridiculed or looked down on for our beliefs and made to feel as we're "nutty conspiracy theorists." I think the truth is that we choose to see things as they really are, not as we wish them to be.
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we cannot help those who wont help themselves, my duty is to look after my wife and myself and nobody else.
there is only one person responsible for our survival and that is ourselves and no one else.
 
shanrose said:
So I've been seeing the signs of America's collapse for awhile but my husband keeps insisting no collapse is coming. I think he's in denial. The rest of my family is the same and it's a source of grief and stress because they're unprepared. I'm trying to do prepare basically on my own and I wondered if others dealt with uncooperative family members and how you handle it? I would appreciate any suggestions.
Click to expand...
I know it's frustrating. And when America collapses, the democrats, with the help of the new medias, will tell them it's OUR fault! We don't have access to their programming, so there isn't much we can do, but I do make calls to my congress-critters and senators. One thing I tell them is when things collapse, the news medias will blame THEM and that's the way it will go down in history.....I put it on THEIR plates.
 
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