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Back in the early 1990's my partner was a guy named Travis. He was a really big guy, barely spoke, did not have much of a personality at all and was not one to crack a joke or a smile. But all in all he was a good partner for the 18 months or so we were assigned to each other. One year on Christmas he was running stationary radar and hammering speeders (when he could find one). We were short handed for the holidays so the shift Sergeant sent us all out in our own cars instead of being doubled up. I stopped over to visit with him and asked why he was writing so many tickets on Christmas, he responded by saying "The law doesn't care what day it is". Still, I said, you could throw out a few warnings too. He just shook his head no and said the state wasn't paying him to give warnings. Just then a car came flying up the highway around 15mph over the limit. He locked the radar and pulled the car over. Since I was in the area I walked up to the car with him as a cover unit. After the initial contact he went back and wrote out the speeding ticket then brought it back up to the driver. The second he got up to the car with the ticket in hand the Middle Eastern man driving said "I can't believe you are giving me a ticket on Christmas". Travis leaned down to look in the window and said "You a Christian?". The man said "Well, no". Travis said "You a pagan?". The man said "No". Travis said "Then it ain't Christmas for you". :cool:

Travis wasn't any dummy.
 
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Life.....


At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . Having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money.
At age 70 success is . . . Having a driver's license.
At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.

Jim
 
BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.

SECRET
A story you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have....similar to my character lines.

OLD
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
. . . And that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!
 
.40 maybe, but 9mm is NOT better than .45.

(it had to be done)
 

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