Jokes and Humor

[Grizzleyette___Adams]

Ha, you have no idea how positive I have spun the aging thing already...

For example, memory issues: 'taint so bad because I get to enjoy the same movies and books again because I sometimes can't remember the ending! And I am thrilled over and over again!

Also, I get to act eccentric as heck and get away with it. If I acted that way in my twenties, I would probably be considered to be an odd duck or something, lol. Now, I am just "unique" or "eccentric."

 

[The Lazy L]

Well I will let y'all know that I have an excellent memory!!!!
It's the timely recall that I am having problems with.

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[threetango]

 

[Cascadian]

I can practicaly hide my own Easter eggs.

 

[LadyLocust]

Oh my @Cascadian that is hilarious. @Grizzleyette___Adams I always say I can't wait til I'm old enough to trip snooty people with my cane and act innocent

 

[The Lazy L]

They say, "When you get old, your memory is the second thing you lose."

 

[Curmudgeon]

 

[SHOOTER13]

.

.

 

[Support Gunner]

.

.

If her husband is mad then nine times out of ten he is a snow flake.

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Haertig]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[GrannyG]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[GrannyG]

 

[Weedygarden]

I have heard that is one way to break up a serious dog fight that involves a pit that is locked on. I am not really interested in trying it out.

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[GrannyG]

 

[Grizzleyette___Adams]

I've never seen such a positive spin put on age before.

Okey dokey... here is a more realistic spin for the rest of us in the real world:

Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They’re everywhere.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter …..I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.


This little ditty was stolen from someone, somewhere...but now I can't remember who or where...

 

[SheepDog]

Anyone who is old enough to be "over the hill" knows that it's a lie. The hill only gets steeper and everything hurts longer if not more. Getting old is not for wimps!
The only path to wisdom is through mistakes. If you make all the mistakes yourself you don't get old or wise. If you learn by watching others make the mistakes you are wiser to begin with.
A good woman is necessary to a good life. You should know as many as you can handle pibhp;hn OUCH! My wife was watching me type.
Now she is laughing. I have all the good woman I can handle - and she is a good one! After 18 years we haven't had our first fight. We constantly show our affection for one another and I give her a nice sharp tap on her behind every chance I get. And she giggles.

 

[zoomzoom]