Jokes and Humor

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[SheepDog]

It takes more if the paper tears while wrapping the gift.

 

[backlash]

Gift bags are my friend.

 

[Supervisor42]

Today's funny...
DW ordered a bottle of essential-oil called "Serenity" .
Beside the bottle is a U.S. quarter (25¢) coin for scale:

I congratulated her, that it was the smallest bottle I have ever seen in my life.

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[dademoss]

 

[Acdoctor]

View attachment 100153

Looks like he needs to stop riding his #450 lbs girlfriend on the back, LOL

 

[Magus]

Several:

Needs a caption. its like he knows something dirty about your mom! 0_0

FJB!

No really, happens all the time here!

When you see it, you'll go fishin'.

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Magus]

I did. It summons an ancient being from another dimension that will drink all your alcohol, smoke your grass, slap your G/F on the butt, destroy all your enemies and tell you the secrets of the universe before passing out on your couch for two days.

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[bkt]

View attachment 100153

How do you even do that?

 

[kenv1950]

 

[jazzy]

 

[dademoss]

How do you even do that?

Beats me, I have a 250 Vespa with a belt drive

It's the internet, EVERYTHING is possible.

 

[jazzy]

 

[Bluetick21]

 

[Supervisor42]

How do you even do that?

It's easy. If you notice the wear on the side peg, it is obviously a dirt bike that has been laid over a lot.
Ride in the dirt and don't stay on top of keeping the chain tight and it rides up high on the teeth of the driven sprocket, wearing them out fast.
The result is common and what you see in the picture.
Shortly before, the old one is below:

 

[Lenny]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Supervisor42]

View attachment 100211

If you're a girl, and life gives you melons, you have Lots of boyfriends!

 

[Magus]

How do you even do that?

You vote Democrat and the gods punish you.

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Curmudgeon]

There's a 6th stage.
You wake up laying on the bathroom floor, covered in puke, with the toilet seat around your neck.

LOL, that's probably more truth than some want to admit.

I didn't end up like that, but I did wake up in the bathtub at someone elses house once.