The Sociopath Next Door

[Weedygarden]

I did a house sitting job a few months ago that I mentioned here. The woman next door has restraining orders against her from three different households. More might be coming, because she is so crazy. She harasses everyone. She wants everyone to mind their p's and q's. No parking in front of someone else's house. Park in front of your own.

The last few days I stayed down the street from that house, but was visiting that house next door to the crazy lady, to feed the cats and give a cat insulin. In a text message to me, the homeowner told me about another incident that happened. She also wanted to remind me to be aware of crazy lady. It was 5:30 in the afternoon, and she and her husband were out on their patio, grilling steaks. Crazy neighbor went off on them, yelling, threatening, swearing at them, calling them names, slamming her windows shut, telling them she was reporting them to the HOA and the police, for grilling on their patio, because she could smell it in her house. Homeowners, wife and her husband, just kept saying, "Oh, okay" in a non threatening way.

Because there is so much awareness of the crazy neighbor, one neighbor who already does have a restraining order against her, purchased this book, and it is being shared around to help people learn about dealing with the crazy lady. A crazy person can manipulate others to join them in ganging up on a perceived threat or slight, or, as in this case, can cause everyone who is a victim, work together to protect themselves and their neighbors from the crazy.

On Friday, it was trash day. Neither household had asked me to put trash out, but I saw that it was trash day, and thought maybe they had just forgotten. I'm there to take care of house needs. The people in the house I was staying in had forgotten. I put the trash out for both and texted them. Wife next to crazy lady replied that they left a few days before trash day and were concerned about what an issue it might cause if they put it out early. They knew they would hear about it. I told her I would put it back at the end of the day. I did. One less thing crazy could complain about.

Anyone else have a crazy neighbor? I have one, but not right next door. She is so nosy, but me telling her when I see her about what I know she has done, has caused her to now stay away. She didn't like me to tell her the truth about herself.


Back of the cover of the book:

From the Back Cover
Who is the devil "you know?
Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of "The Sociopath Next Door," you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He's a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.
We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in "The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people--one in twenty-five--has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt."
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading "The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know--someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for--is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and "The Sociopath Next Door" will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

 

[Grimm]

The family that use to live next door to my folks were sociopaths. They didn't like that my dad was retired and did work around the house to keep the value up. He is very house/lawn/garden proud. The neighbors were so bad they accused my dad of being a peeping tom and trying to watch the not even tween daughters in their bedroom from their second floor window. No way to actually do this unless the houses face each other or you stand on a ladder in the driveway. The windows were on the front of the house and my folks are NEXT door not across the street. He actually tried to slander my dad with this BS. All it took was a letter from a lawyer for the neighbor to stop yelling this out in the street at the other neighbors.

But my dad did enjoy making many phone calls to the city when they were doing construction on the house during non permitted times of day/night/holidays. My dad is the king of sneaky payback that is within legal channels.

Never mess with a retired DOD employee.

 

[Amish Heart]

We had a sociopath two doors down from us in New Mexico. We found some kittens years ago (old man cat was one) and she heard about them and said her dad came over to see them and I was rude to him. ???? Was screaming her head off.
Next door to them was another psycho who had a daughter enrolled at our school. I had to disenroll them and call the police. He refused to stay in the parents' area, would barge through the door without signing in. Picked up a child that wasn't his, hugged her, and asked me what I was going to do about it. He would stay out of camera view. After disenrolling him, he reported us to everyone known to man...health dept, child services, electrical services of Santa Fe, better business bureau. No one found wrongdoing. He wanted to reinstate enrollment, a month free tuition, and a letter of apology from me that he could put in the local paper. Ha Ha Ha. He came back a month later to try to apologize. I called the police. When he moved out, a couple with two kids moved in. Their kids enrolled in our school. They were the nicest neighbors anyone could have.

 

[Supervisor42]

I refuse to be dragged into neighborhood 'urination-contests'.
The force of the grapevine is strong in this one.
Ignorance is bliss.
When one of the 'witches' (misspelling) starts off with: "well, you heard about so-and-so, right?"
My reply:
"Nope. And I don't want to." Then I wander off.
If you don't listen to spew, this is a very quiet, well behaved, neighborhood.

 

[Morgan101]

I have two. One right next door, and one behind me. They both think their property is hallowed ground, and nobody can set foot on it. The one next door thinks nobody should be able to park in front of his yard.

I treat them as if they don't exist. I don't speak to them. I don't even acknowledge they are there.

 

[Weedygarden]

I refuse to be dragged into neighborhood 'urination-contests'.
The force of the grapevine is strong in this one.
Ignorance is bliss.
When one of the 'witches' (misspelling) starts off with: "well, you heard about so-and-so, right?"
My reply:
"Nope. And I don't want to." Then I wander off.
If you don't listen to spew, this is a very quiet, well behaved, neighborhood.

I'm with you about gossiping about someone, neighbors working together against another.

I decided to not eat in the faculty lounge when I was teaching because of the gossip about other teachers who weren't present, employees, parents and students. If I didn't hear about it, I wouldn't want to process what I had heard by talking about them myself.

No one has to gossip about this particular woman to make her the bad guy. They hear her screeching at others. She tells on herself and everyone around her has experienced her wrath. The couple who live next door to her happen to be very lovely people, but so is everyone I've met in that neighborhood. When people see her verbally attacking others, they band together.

I had never met her. One day I was entering a garage to walk two dogs and she approached me. She knew my name, my daughter, where my daughter lived, who daughter was dating, my car, on and on. Sick! Daughter doesn't even know who she is. She wouldn't shut up. Since I was technically working, I didn't want to create a problem for my clients, her neighbor two houses down. Later, she told my clients lies about things I said. I was mortified. Later, the first client told me she lied about what she had said. I guess lying is part of the deal. It is manipulation of information, to get over on people. Then more recent client moved in next to first client, between them, and they become fast friends. Due to the pandemic, these two wives sat on their front porches in the evenings in the summer, keeping a distance between themselves, visiting with each other. Sociopath comes out screeching about how they could be out there, but they didn't invite her? Right? First client and her husband sold their home and bought a larger home a few houses down.

 

[backlash]

I had a crazy neighbor and I mean actually crazy. He complained to the county saying my dog barked constantly. She didn't but he was able to get the neighbors to sign letters complaining about my dog.
Animal control came out and found no problems but told me if he continued to complain I would wind up in front of a judge. One of the neighbors came over months later and apologized and gave me a letter stating what happened just in case I needed it.
Several months later the crazy neighbor stabbed himself in the legs with scissors repeatedly and wound up in an institution.

 

[viking]

Neighbors from hell, we've never had them but I have had friends that did and when they called out the sheriff about them shooting at 1:00 AM, all the sheriff would say is, "We know them but there's nothing we can do about it.". One of the sons and his dad spent time in prison for game violations, people would order up a back strap of venison or elk and they'd go out and kill an animal just for the back strap, they'd shotgun a salmon in the local stream just to sell it and another thing they were famous for was going into peoples' homes after they died and stealing valuables. What surprises me is that in all the years they have done this stuff, no one has shot them and taken them out in the woods to feed wild animals, after the SHTF these are the first people that need to be taken care of, God's already taken the dad, he died of a massive heart attack while swimming in Cow Creek, I haven't seen the boys in a long time and even when they were still living in the area, they never bothered me, I wonder if they had been warned about me not tolerating the things they did and worried that I might take care of their nonsense. We had a neighbor that moved to mid Idaho about 4 years ago and when asked about what kind of people we were, he answered, "They are loose cannons.", I thanked him for that and told him that at least it will keep them on their toes just to consider how dangerous a "Loose cannon" we are.

 

[SheepDog]

I am "that good neighbor". I help out my neighbors and they return the favor as they can. There are no "close" neighbors but when we see each other we wave or stop to talk for a moment. We all have our own lives and nobody is too concerned about anyone.

 

[Supervisor42]

I'm with you about gossiping about someone, neighbors working together against another.

Ya' know, I never thought about it, but for all I know, they may consider me the local sociopath.
"He hardly ever speaks to anyone, just walks up and down the street, staring at the road"

"Anti-social, obviously mentally disturbed!"

"I tried to tell him about Claire's fight with Stephanie, and he just walked off!"

 

[Haertig]

There are twelve houses on my cul-de-sac, including ours. We're all different people, but nice enough. No problems. Quiet, keep to ourselves mostly, but will sometimes gab for quite a while if we encounter each other out in the yard. There's the top of the cul-de-sac group and the bottom of the cul-de-sac group. Mostly separate, due to not being able to see each other when out in the yard. But I do rate my neighbors. My rating system is, "Would I give them a gun to protect their homes with?" FYI, I would only be down three guns if push came to shove. The recipients are all long time cul-de-sac'ers (decades living here).

 

[backlash]

I would not give a gun to any of my neighbors. The ones I trust have plenty of their own.

 

[Weedygarden]

I had a crazy neighbor and I mean actually crazy. He complained to the county saying my dog barked constantly. She didn't but he was able to get the neighbors to sign letters complaining about my dog.
Animal control came out and found no problems but told me if he continued to complain I would wind up in front of a judge. One of the neighbors came over months later and apologized and gave me a letter stating what happened just in case I needed it.
Several months later the crazy neighbor stabbed himself in the legs with scissors repeatedly and wound up in an institution.

This is the thing with some sociopaths. They can lie and manipulate others to be their flying monkeys, working for the sociopath to harass, isolate, and go against their perceived enemies. Ever have someone approach you to help them out with a problem with someone who has slighted them or perceived as being against them? I have. I am quick to shut that down. "Have you ever had problems with him?" "Did you see what happened to me?" "Why am I being treated this way by her?" "Will you help me with this situation?"

 

[Morgan101]

Ya' know, I never thought about it, but for all I know, they may consider me the local sociopath.
"He hardly ever speaks to anyone, just walks up and down the street, staring at the road"View attachment 54563
"Anti-social, obviously mentally disturbed!"View attachment 54564
"I tried to tell him about Claire's fight with Stephanie, and he just walked off!"

But if I don't miss my guess you are not out trying to intentionally hurt anybody, or being cruel just to be cruel, verbally attacking everybody within earshot. You are just quiet and mind your own business; not antisocial.

 

[Alaskajohn]

Reading this thread reminds me why I bugged out. I’ve had sociopaths as neighbors and as bosses, coworkers and subordinates over the years so I know this is a real thing. One still can completely isolate themselves from this nonsense unless you completely unplug, as I get occasional reminders interacting with nuts online or on the phone.

 

[Weedygarden]

Reading this thread reminds me why I bugged out. I’ve had sociopaths as neighbors and as bosses, coworkers and subordinates over the years so I know this is a real thing. One still can completely isolate themselves from this nonsense unless you completely unplug, as I get occasional reminders interacting with nuts online or on the phone.

Sociopaths become internet trolls. They are everywhere. Imagine what the pandemic has done to some of them. Who knows? We might have some on this forum.

 

[Aerindel]

Keep in mind.....they are a fairly significant proportion of the population and most are no more a problem than dyslexic people are. A person can be psychopath and still be a just as good a person as anyone else. The difference is that they have a choice, which I suppose is what scares people. But just because someone could kill you just as easily as they could say "good morning" doesn't mean they have any desire to hurt you. This is probably the hardest part for most normal people to understand as in general a normal person has to be overcome with emotion to break a taboo rather than simply decide to or not.

 

[Meerkat]

Sociopaths become internet trolls. They are everywhere. Imagine what the pandemic has done to some of them. Who knows? We might have some on this forum.

OH no,not here too!Seems we can't get away from them darn sociaopaths..

 

[Weedygarden]

Keep in mind.....they are a fairly significant proportion of the population and most are no more a problem than dyslexic people are. A person can be psychopath and still be a just as good a person as anyone else. The difference is that they have a choice, which I suppose is what scares people. But just because someone could kill you just as easily as they could say "good morning" doesn't mean they have any desire to hurt you. This is probably the hardest part for most normal people to understand as in general a normal person has to be overcome with emotion to break a taboo rather than simply decide to or not.

I think there are mentally unstable people, and then there are people who are a little off or odd. There are some people who cannot control their urges to rape, kill, harass, steal or whatever. Or maybe they think they are special and are entitled to do and say what they to do. That would be sex offenders. Somehow in their mind, they are entitled to what urges they have. They think they are smarter than most of the rest of the people they encounter.

I believe everyone has had a passing thought about doing something that they know better. Whether you act on it or not, is what makes the difference.

 

[Meerkat]

Ever think sometimes your diagnosis is incorrect about this whole mental thing? And there is not really a psycho behind every bush? People are strange 'song' The Doors.

 

[Alaskajohn]

Sociopaths become internet trolls. They are everywhere. Imagine what the pandemic has done to some of them. Who knows? We might have some on this forum.

I think you hit the nail on the head! By the way, this site manages trolls pretty well compared to other forums!

 

[SheepDog]

Most successful sales people are sociopaths. The biggest difference between "normal" and "sociopaths" is the lack of empathy. A used car salesman can't afford to feel empathy while trying to sell you a car. If he does then he won't sell many cars. In the most severe cases the sociopath can't feel empathy for himself. He doesn't feel remorse even if he causes "pain" to himself. Those are the "non-functional" sociopaths that become serial killers while the functional sociopaths become sales people and vultures of the business world.
As in all things there are degrees of failure.

 

[Meerkat]

Most successful sales people are sociopaths. The biggest difference between "normal" and "sociopaths" is the lack of empathy. A used car salesman can't afford to feel empathy while trying to sell you a car. If he does then he won't sell many cars. In the most severe cases the sociopath can't feel empathy for himself. He doesn't feel remorse even if he causes "pain" to himself. Those are the "non-functional" sociopaths that become serial killers while the functional sociopaths become sales people and vultures of the business world.
As in all things there are degrees of failure.

Plus Edmund Freud was a fraud. Who made him the mind guru? People have to take drugs just to listen to his BS. Thats why most poor people in mental institutions never leave until the are in a zombe state. I seen lots of that from our VNam vets.Now its the recent wars.Some drugs are known to cause suicide.

 

[Grimm]

I think you hit the nail on the head! By the way, this site manages trolls pretty well compared to other forums!

I think this site is a tighter knit group than most sites because we all came here from the same forum- en masse exit- PSexit!

 

[Weedygarden]

I think you hit the nail on the head! By the way, this site manages trolls pretty well compared to other forums!

I think they have. I do know that we had trolls on the former place.

I know the place you came from is full of people who know better, want to argue, and just plain stomp on people. There are a few feuds that seem to have been going on forever. Was anyone ever removed from that group?

 

[Weedygarden]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll
In Internet slang, a troll is a person who starts flame wars or intentionally upsets people on the Internet by posting inflammatory and digressive,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the intent of provoking readers into displaying emotional responses[2] and normalizing tangential discussion,[3] either for the troll's amusement, or to achieve a specific result such as disrupting a rival's online activities or manipulating a political process.

more

 

[Alaskajohn]

I know the place you came from is full of people who know better, want to argue, and just plain stomp on people. There are a few feuds that seem to have been going on forever. Was anyone ever removed from that group?

Not enough trolls have been banned, and some exceptional folks where weren't trolls have left. Some good folks were banned, but I don't want to guess on why they were banned. I try to stay out of that stuff. One of the unfortunate thinks about being surrounded by people who throw mud is sometimes good folks become tainted and then its hard to tell the good from the bad.

 

[Weedygarden]

Not enough trolls have been banned, and some exceptional folks where weren't trolls have left. Some good folks were banned, but I don't want to guess on why they were banned. I try to stay out of that stuff. One of the unfortunate thinks about being surrounded by people who throw mud is sometimes good folks become tainted and then its hard to tell the good from the bad.

I do my best to stay out of it as well. I have known a couple people banned at the old place, and once because they were slinging mud at another member also now here and me. Caribou was a moderator and became my hero that day.

 

[Meerkat]

I do my best to stay out of it as well. I have known a couple people banned at the old place, and once because they were slinging mud at another member also now here and me. Caribou was a moderator and became my hero that day.

We had and sstill have some very good mods there and here. Some good people too and you were my hero at the other site for saying what needed to be said no matter who liked it. I can't remember the subject now but you showed real charactor.
Right or wrong I have basically an old fashioned way of thinking as well and can be modern too. I think it may have to do with so much love of istory I've always had.
I'm was also a nationalist not WHITE nationalist but maybe even a little radical.
America has changed drastically just since I was a young person. And not in a positive way for any American.or anyone else far aas that goes. Of course this is my opinion. I don't think welfare of giving away other peoples money makes anyone ' kind or loving'. Charity begins at home and that includes our nation.
Well looks like we no longer have a antion and thats upsets me that my offfspring will live in a very bad place . I think we all know something bad is going on.
But it has been going o nfor awhile. I never post anything to aggrevate ,sometimes I do joke around at bad timing, and sometimes I fight back if attacked.
I'm always wondering if something is going on in someones life so I'm quick to apologize if I feel I added to it.
Maybe I'm fooling myself but that is how I think I feel.
I just hope this argument ends soon we live in bad times now.

 

[Supervisor42]

, and once because they were slinging mud at another member also now here and me.

You sure you don't recognize any of them in this file photo?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll
In Internet slang, a troll is a person who starts flame wars or intentionally upsets people on the Internet by posting inflammatory and digressive,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the intent of provoking readers into displaying emotional responses[2] and normalizing tangential discussion,[3] either for the troll's amusement, or to achieve a specific result such as disrupting a rival's online activities or manipulating a political process.

more

Internet troll

Wait a minute! You mean we now have our own wikipedia page!!