Forgot to say, or figured it's obvious, that any person seeking a successful relationship must be committed to it and work for it.
And, single men must be aware of The Hot/Crazy Matrix:
Why divorce is up and the birth rates are down.
- Thread starter Magus
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And, single men must be aware of The Hot/Crazy Matrix:
The key to my successful relationship is just doing what I'm told. That and waiting for her take her clothes off so I am reminded why I just do what I'm told. 
I see you're in the danger zone.The key to my successful relationship is just doing what I'm told. That and waiting for her take her clothes off so I am reminded why I just do what I'm told.
Congats for playing it better than I've ever done.
We go back a ways and shared many thoughts on thread subjects… I know you married an alpha male, but I’m surprised you said here that he was worthless when you married him. ???
Anyway I’m reminded of a thread that was kinda about alpha male vs sigma male…. I said I’m sigma but you thought me to be alpha…
Here’s a link for what I see as good definition of each: https://personality-test.net/personality/personality-insights/sigma-man/
I get that a single man can be much more in a productive relationship, but don’t understand how he (an alpha) could be seen as worthless before that.
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I do NOT BELIEVE that love is the most important thing in a marriage. Love can easily be destroyed in a bad marriage. To me you need the same goals so that both of you can work toward something rather than each person working toward their own goals. And the second thing that is very important is respect. You won't cheat on a spouse if you truly respect them . And there are a lot of other things that you won't do if you respect them, assuming of course that you have principles & morals.
Here's what I see as the problem with the women's movement & it's a basic problem. It's sold as a "Women aren't equal in the workplace in pay & advancement" thing & it's gone way past that. It's now a Women Are Equal thing & women aren't equal. Equal means the same how many men out there are equal to every other man? Men & women paid the same pay for the same job, heck who could argue against that? (Common Sense). First of the study that was based off of was general pay across the board, it didn't compare men & women in the same job. Want exactly equal pay then force women into jobs they don't want & force men into jobs they don't want. That's equality.
If I were a woman I would be pissed if asked to join or support something saying that I'm equal to a man. Even without the total "I can ensure that society can live on because I can have children" thing, I believe that women are far, far better at certain jobs than men are. In our house my wife does all the paperwork & cooking. I suck at both, even though my job in the AF had me doing paperwork. (I don't cook because I want to survive & even, I won't eat what I cook). I tend to do most of the manual labor because I'm better at it. Our house would fall apart if either of us were to stop doing our jobs.
If I were a woman I would be pissed if asked to join or support something saying that I'm equal to a man. Even without the total "I can ensure that society can live on because I can have children" thing, I believe that women are far, far better at certain jobs than men are. In our house my wife does all the paperwork & cooking. I suck at both, even though my job in the AF had me doing paperwork. (I don't cook because I want to survive & even, I won't eat what I cook). I tend to do most of the manual labor because I'm better at it. Our house would fall apart if either of us were to stop doing our jobs.
Yeah. I stated that badly. What I meant was that he didn't have a lot of money. He had a job and he wasn't broke. But we had some slim years. We were a good team though and now we are financially solid. His Alpha abilities made us solvent enough to do well in any state.........even those that require a lot of money to be comfortable.
That said....... we were always happy. Money didn't make the difference between happiness and unhappiness. As a person, my husband has always been near perfect.
This is true. You sort of need the same outlook on raising kids. And family cohesiveness should be a top priority.
Now I'll put my foot in my mouth & say something stupid. If I were young today & I were looking for a wife I would rule out 90% of women living in a big city. Most of those women are either progressives (radical liberals on the subject) or inclined to that type of thinking. Sure not all of them are but they have all been exposed to that type of thinking. My (now) wife is from a small town in a backward state. She's kind of old fashioned & as a plus she was in the military & understand that somebody has to be in charge. We discussed this before we got married. So when there's a tie on what she wants to do or what I want to do, I have the final say. Yes that scared the heck out of her when we talked about it before marriage. But in reality after 38 years of marriage (or is it 37) I've over ruled her 4 times. Twice on car's we were going to buy, once on a house she wanted (I didn't) & once more that I can't remember. So basically I'm in charge of the big picture & she is in charge of the daily stuff. Big picture stuff doesn't come up often.
I'm still confused about this whole marriage thing. if it's not to strengthen ties between clans or families, isn't it a kind of legalized slavery for one or both parties? and from what kind of love did it spring? the purely sexual, the status, the pheromonal, the emotional, or the spiritual? In my opinion, if it's not true soul bonding, it's not love. you meet, you mate, nobody has to tell you to be loyal because your mate is the only other person in the universe, you never worry about splitting up your kids or your stuff because you are a universe of one, AH. but then comes the U-tube, Facebook, the status quo, porn-hub, and all the other garbage life throws at you to split you up. My two cents, if you're really in love, go homestead in the butt end of nowhere because society wants nothing but to destroy what you have, and love is really ALL we have.
Bloody Divorce...I was married twice and divorced twice....I have learned that it is a 50/50 problem when it boiled down to the reasons, so save yourself the grief of arguing and stressing. However, why at both times did I have to Lose everything I own and worked hard for to possess, only to have a judge determine that the woman is entitled to all of it? I really do not understand that thought process, especially the second time around and no children involved, and she has a great gov. job and earned more than I. I was on a third relationship, great lady, and the topic of marriage came up...OK...i responded with "as long as we sign a pre-nuptial agreement and have it renewed each year"....I was dumped two weeks later...HA! I prefer now to stay alone and I am actually quite happy. So....no...no more relationships...no more children and a LOT more money in the bank, not that money is everything, but it sure beats what's in second place and I now have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want....Like setting up my SHTF site that past women thought was senseless and a waste of money. Don't get me wrong...I love women, they are a gift, if God made any creature nicer than a woman, he kept that for himself.
If it makes you feel better I have never been married, but that did not stop my roommate from moving in and dropping anchor on me. Plus I am pretty sure if she decided to take me to court they would still give her half of the ammo, half the beans & rice, at least one rack of guns and half of the money known to exist in US based accounts. But no worries, I am sure she would never do that. Kill me and stage the scene to look like a suicide or accidental death? Yes. Take me to court? No.
To me here it is in a nutshell. There is nothing on this earth better than a really good marriage. And there's nothing worse on earth than a bad marriage.
I like to think that love can grow more easily than it can be destroyed, but I know that’s not true. Still even at my age (damn near 60) I think it’s possible, even if just starts with common interests and some level of attraction. Then with respect and working toward a common goal… the ‘love bud’ could develop.
I have had two friends that were married for many years, when their kids left so did their wife and said she had not loved them after the one the second year of marriage, and the other the fourth.
So you can never tell what is behind someone's eyes.
I take nothing for granted, I used to run with a much older crowd, I was the one that the wives got left with to watch them and make sure no outsider gave them any trouble, take them where they wanted to go get them ice cream or food etc.
They talked freely in front of me because I don't tell anything serious or peoples business even years later after they are gone.
They were a lot more moral and trustworthy than the most of todays younger women.
Events are events but crimes, and serious personal issues like where the body is or who won the BIG game are "never tells" heheheh!!!
So you can never tell what is behind someone's eyes.
I take nothing for granted, I used to run with a much older crowd, I was the one that the wives got left with to watch them and make sure no outsider gave them any trouble, take them where they wanted to go get them ice cream or food etc.
They talked freely in front of me because I don't tell anything serious or peoples business even years later after they are gone.
They were a lot more moral and trustworthy than the most of todays younger women.
Events are events but crimes, and serious personal issues like where the body is or who won the BIG game are "never tells" heheheh!!!
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Well, if you're not friends....you're not going to be good partners. If you don't truly LIKE your spouse, then how can you really LOVE them?
Ah, you got a smart one. Word of advice.....don't pizz her off! LOL!
not trying to argue, but I think sometimes couples get to the point where they may still love each other, but not really like each other most of the time
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I've seen that too. It's sad.....but I know exactly what you are talking about.
However, right from the get-go, if a couple can't say that they are friends, then they probably shouldn't get married.
Agreed , they probably shouldn't even date
Ok.. end of the day.. friends FIRST!!! No babies no marriage, just US!!
I think marriage has been bastardized and made materialistic in modern (and historical) society.
My opinion on marriage (having been with my wife for nearly 14 years now- and I'm not 30 yet...) is kind of fringe by today's standards.
I'm a christian, and I believe marriage is a covenant between a man, his wife and God. It's a commitment, but not just to eachother- there's that all important 3rd element. When modern folks think marriage they think of the photo-op, the tax benefits, the title, the status etc... I always thought the ritual of walking down an aisle, with all the bridesmaids and groomsman wearing matching outfit was inane- so we didn't do that. Actually, the idea of needing to pay the government in the form of a license to get married pissed me off to no end and I have many other gripes with "traditional" weddings.
So- I didn't do those things. I also didn't feel like I needed ask/hire some priest to act as a middle man between me, my wife and God when we made our covenant. My wife and I did our own thing and said our own prayers. We married eachother without permission or help from anyone, and we repeat our vows to eachother every year.
What marriage is to me is a commitment to the mutual journey between a man and his wife toward truth (God). Our vows intermingled amazingly (we kept them a secret from eachother and both spent the better part of the year following our engament working on them) because we'd been together long enough that we both believed that's what marriage was and structure our vows around that commitment. It is a concept that is future proof in our lives and one that harmonizes our minds and brings us closer together and to God. It's the driving motivation behind the structure of our lives.
We notified the government of our arrangement after we were married, went through some legalities for practical reasons (especially concerning our future children) but the covenant itself is untainted by modern nonsense and the date the government has "officially" designated our anniversary is different from the day we actually got married.
We made our closest friends travel, and the day of our wedding the weather was absolutely horrible- we made everyone hike up a mountain in their nice clothing through the fog and rain (hilarious to watch to as my wife and I wore our boots) to reach the destination (not just some Loveland pass bs) we scouted for our ceremony. When we started to speak our vows the sun came out miraculously like God was blessing our union.. the whole view of the surrounding mountains opened up and the majesty of Colorados natural beauty nearby stunned everyone. for the rest of the ceremony right where we were it was bright as a clear summer day. When we left the mountain the weather went right back to garbage as if on cue. it was an amazing and humbling experience. Nobody present had ever seen anything like it.
Anyways- that's an impression at least of what marriage means to my wife and I as Christians. Needless to say the concept of divorce is laughable. It's not slavery, it's a commitment to truth and mutual betterment and the fruits of that union are universally undeniable. She is my soul mate (even though she made me wear a suit) and the only reason we can commune with eachother on that level is because we are in all things beholden to the one true God.
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My late husband was my best friend before all the other stuff. I could count on him for things my selfish boyfriend wasn’t capable of, just being a friend.
I don’t understand relationships that develop quickly because of the physical attraction. How does something like that last? It likely doesn’t.
The things nobody wants to talk about on the reasons why marriages fail: finances, extended family interference, addictions (including porn), and affairs. Just my personal opinion.
Birth rate down…the expense of raising children, women with careers not wanting to be June Cleaver or Mrs. Walton, birth control easily available, false assumptions about population control, inability to conceive and the expense to make it happen. Add that fewer couples believe in populating the earth as a commandment since religious memberships are also decreasing in some sects.
I don’t understand relationships that develop quickly because of the physical attraction. How does something like that last? It likely doesn’t.
The things nobody wants to talk about on the reasons why marriages fail: finances, extended family interference, addictions (including porn), and affairs. Just my personal opinion.
Birth rate down…the expense of raising children, women with careers not wanting to be June Cleaver or Mrs. Walton, birth control easily available, false assumptions about population control, inability to conceive and the expense to make it happen. Add that fewer couples believe in populating the earth as a commandment since religious memberships are also decreasing in some sects.
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Oh sorry! Just now watching the video you posted @Magus !! Hilarious.
Great entertainment, I forgot that those types of females are the caliber of what or who you are referring to and sadly they do seem like the ones making up the majority of who is available. I know there are better girls out there, I know a lot of awesome young women. You’ve got to consider where the hangout places are and rank your selection from that.
Great entertainment, I forgot that those types of females are the caliber of what or who you are referring to and sadly they do seem like the ones making up the majority of who is available. I know there are better girls out there, I know a lot of awesome young women. You’ve got to consider where the hangout places are and rank your selection from that.
The kind of lady I am looking for doesn't "hang out".
Ideally, when she hears glass break at three AM, she punches me in the arm and says:
"I call riot gun, you get the AK, let's flank this one!"
Ideally, when she hears glass break at three AM, she punches me in the arm and says:
"I call riot gun, you get the AK, let's flank this one!"
The lady who sleeps in my bed would hit me in the arm and say "I think there's an intruder. Go deal with it and we'll clean up in the morning." If she was awake and didn't have her coffee yet, I would have to pull her off his mutilated corpse before she started tracking down his friends and relatives. I'm just saying she's "situational" at best. I am not even sure I know her real name.
She got a sister?
