- Joined
- Dec 3, 2017
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- 19,597
In the old place, I started a thread about narcissism, and I know that some people had a realization about people in their lives being narcissists. Narcissism is very complex and I plan on eventually talking about many aspects of it. I am no psychologist or trained therapist. I do have some hours in psychology from college, and I have read a lot about narcissists and narcissism. I am far from an expert, but I do have some experience with narcissists.
We all know narcissists. Does it matter if someone we know is a narcissist? It matters if they attack you, seek to hurt you, seek to damage your relationships with others.
Why do I care about narcissism? Because it took me 50 + years of my life to realize that I come from a family of narcissists. My grandmother, some aunts and uncles, some cousins and two of my siblings are narcissists.
There are strategies for dealing with narcissists, depending on your goal for your relationship with them. I belong to a few groups about narcissism. The most active group I belong to is about narcissistic mothers. While men can be narcissists, it is the narcissistic mother (NM) who is most known about. Narcissistic women in general are very competitive. They go after other women that they see as a threat to their perceived status. Narcissistic women flirt, connive, and reel in men for their own benefit. They are slick, manipulative, duplicitous, and have no feelings or concerns about those they engage with.
Narcissists lack empathy. They are critical, cruel, and hateful to their perceived threats. They have two emotions that they work: hero or victim. Narcissists never see themselves as the villain, ever. As a result of that, they are incapable of apologizing. I have seen countless young women say that they will resume their relationship with their mother when she apologizes for stealing the show at their wedding, trying to take their children from them, and other horrible behavior. Really, the best thing in these situations is to go no contact. It is the best strategy.
The thing about narcissists is that it is almost impossible for them to change. They love one person and that is themselves. They are incapable of loving others. They are very capable of cruelty to others.
There are seven types of narcissism, and I am not as knowledgeable about them. 1. The Classic Narcissist, 2. The Seductive Narcissist, 3. The Vulnerable Narcissist, 4. The Covert Narcissist, 5. The Grandiose Narcissist 6. The Malignant Narcissist, and 7. The Vindictive Narcissist.
The VA considers narcissism a level B mental illness. It is not such a serious diagnosis that a person can be admitted to a facility for treatment such as other more serious mental illnesses.
The internet has much information about narcissism. I have books about it and one of the best that I have is, "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist. Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse," by Debbie Mirza.
If you are in this group, know that I am aware of two narcissists, one male, one female. There are likely more. This is not about identifying or calling them out. This is to help all of us become more psychologically prepared. Psychological defense is important, imho.
More later!
We all know narcissists. Does it matter if someone we know is a narcissist? It matters if they attack you, seek to hurt you, seek to damage your relationships with others.
Why do I care about narcissism? Because it took me 50 + years of my life to realize that I come from a family of narcissists. My grandmother, some aunts and uncles, some cousins and two of my siblings are narcissists.
There are strategies for dealing with narcissists, depending on your goal for your relationship with them. I belong to a few groups about narcissism. The most active group I belong to is about narcissistic mothers. While men can be narcissists, it is the narcissistic mother (NM) who is most known about. Narcissistic women in general are very competitive. They go after other women that they see as a threat to their perceived status. Narcissistic women flirt, connive, and reel in men for their own benefit. They are slick, manipulative, duplicitous, and have no feelings or concerns about those they engage with.
Narcissists lack empathy. They are critical, cruel, and hateful to their perceived threats. They have two emotions that they work: hero or victim. Narcissists never see themselves as the villain, ever. As a result of that, they are incapable of apologizing. I have seen countless young women say that they will resume their relationship with their mother when she apologizes for stealing the show at their wedding, trying to take their children from them, and other horrible behavior. Really, the best thing in these situations is to go no contact. It is the best strategy.
The thing about narcissists is that it is almost impossible for them to change. They love one person and that is themselves. They are incapable of loving others. They are very capable of cruelty to others.
There are seven types of narcissism, and I am not as knowledgeable about them. 1. The Classic Narcissist, 2. The Seductive Narcissist, 3. The Vulnerable Narcissist, 4. The Covert Narcissist, 5. The Grandiose Narcissist 6. The Malignant Narcissist, and 7. The Vindictive Narcissist.
The VA considers narcissism a level B mental illness. It is not such a serious diagnosis that a person can be admitted to a facility for treatment such as other more serious mental illnesses.
The internet has much information about narcissism. I have books about it and one of the best that I have is, "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist. Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse," by Debbie Mirza.
If you are in this group, know that I am aware of two narcissists, one male, one female. There are likely more. This is not about identifying or calling them out. This is to help all of us become more psychologically prepared. Psychological defense is important, imho.
More later!