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Bill Clinton, Obama and Biden were walking around on a farm after mugging for a "green production" photo-shoot, When they came upon a hog stuck halfway through a fence, Bill said:
That kind of reminds me of Monica from this angle, I wish it was her!
0bama opined: Nope, more like Kim Kardashian really, I wish it was her!
Biden just looked around kind of lost and said:
I wish it would hurry up and get dark!
 
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GRAMMAR LESSON:
Is it "complete", "finished", or "completely finished"?
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the
difference between these two words - "Complete" or "Finished".
In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.
The final question was: 'How do you explain the difference between
COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand?
Some
people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer:
"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"
He won a trip around the world and a case of 25-year-old Scotch.
 

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