Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
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- Joined
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Farmer with a Talking Dog
A man was driving down a country road when he saw a sign on a mailbox: Talking Dog $10.00. The man stopped and walked up to the house. An elderly man came out and the driver asked " Do you have a talking dog? " the homeowner said "Yeah. He's around back."
The man walked into the back yard, and there was a dog chained near the house. The man asked " Can you talk? " The dog replied "Sure." The man was astonished, so he asked "How did this happen?" The dog told his story. " I've been this way since I was a pup. When I got old enough I went into the Army as a spy. Nobody ever suspected. When things calmed down on the military front I worked at the airport sniffing out drugs. Now I'm retired, and just lay around here. " The man was incredulous and ready to buy the dog.
He went back to the front of the house and spoke with the owner. " How can you sell a dog with those skills?" The owner replied " That dog is a black liar. He ain't never been outta the yard."
It's good to know that there is a still a tiny little bit of humor on SNL in between all of the social justice rambling and thoroughly unfunny garbage.
Jim
Jim
Three good ol’ boys are on Death Row. They discuss how to distract the firing squad so they can escape, and come up with a plan. When the first one’s in front of the firing squad he yells “Tornado!” and the firing squad drop their rifles, run for cover and he escapes. The second man comes in front of the firing squad and at the last moment he yells “Earthquake!” and the firing squad drop their rifles, run for cover and he escapes. The third man, who’s not the brightest candle on the cake, then comes in front of the firing squad and at the last moment yells “Fire!”
I went to Walmart today with my wife so I could load the dog food.
There were NO carts in the store. I had to go into the parking lot and get one. Actually I got 3 so a couple of others had one. I told the only cashier I could find about the no carts and she said tell customer service so I did.
When we left there were still no carts.
I look forward to the day Walmart closes like K mart did.
Stop going there.
I haven't been in a WM in over a year.
Life is possible without them.
Stop being a boot-licker.
You have no idea who I am so your comment is ignorant and unwelcome.
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Went to Walgreens (the ghetto one, our daughter calls it) to pick up husband's prescriptions on our way home from American Heritage Girls.
Pulled into the drivethrough, and WOW, no cars. There was a sign on the window that said that the phone was broken. If you want your prescription, to go inside (a 20 min line). The phone was broken???? It doesn't really even qualify as a phone.
Pulled into the drivethrough, and WOW, no cars. There was a sign on the window that said that the phone was broken. If you want your prescription, to go inside (a 20 min line). The phone was broken???? It doesn't really even qualify as a phone.
Jim
You can own your own copy.
https://www.amazon.com/How-sexy-bug...efix=how+to+be+sexy+,instant-video,254&sr=1-1
That’s not a motorcycle manual, that’s a retirement plan!
Jim
Jim
Free
Jim
Jim
