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Since this is humor, and we are talking lab pups…

My neighbor got a little yellow boy, he is just over 12 weeks old now. I met the pup when he first brought it home, mentioned I have had three and offered him a few tips.

One was to give the pup someplace in the yard to destroy. They had an old Apple tree cut down and the hollow short stump was still there. The pup was already tugging at a piece of bark on it. I said to make that an OK place to do as it wishes, dig, tear it apart, anything goes. His wife did not look too happy, a cute little white pup getting all dirty and such. I warned him that lab pups are destroyers. They have a strong need to find something and see it in tiny little pieces all around them. They are not going to eat it, well. Not too much of it anyway. They just need to be destructive at times and you need to give them something that is OK for them to work over.

I always had a ‘designated digging area’ in the yard. Pup needs to dig… over to the hole we go! Pup digs for a while, is satisfied and we do something else. My pups always had a piece of oak firewood inside, “the special inside stick”. All other sticks live outside. They need to chew and destroy something: go get your special inside stick, take it on your blanket and go to town. They destroy it for a bit, are satisfied and we go do something else.

It isn’t like they just need something to chew or teethe on. They have that NEED to destroy. They really do. But they also need teething and chewing stuff too.

Well. They weren’t too sure about my advice. His wife didn’t like the thought of the pup getting all dirty digging and rolling in the mud hole. I told her she has a lab now, mud and wet dog are part of your life. Just learn to manage and guide it when he is little so you can enjoy him later on.

So. They have several holes in their yard. One blueberry bush is not looking all that good. A shrub he hides under has quite a few of its lower branches around the yard.

I was out back having a smoke when he brought the pup out to run a bit. I went over and asked him how the pup was coming along. He said the thing is like a devil spawn. It wants to chew on everything, it RUNS into the shrub and chews branches off it. It is fast and will run and start digging before he can get over to stop it……. … …

He looked at me. “Tell me again about that stump thing again?
 
:ROLF:

.
 
I HAD IT ALL



I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all.
I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed,
I had a roof over my head,
I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"

"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no....

I was paroled."
 
You think that is funny, imagine your great grandfather using a Ipad to call someone.

Joel it seems our great and in my case grandfathers had better English speaking skills than we do or our college educated students do today. For sure had larger vocabulary.
If you don't believe it just read some of their books and corospondence. Plus they could spell :eyeballs: :D.
 
I HAD IT ALL



I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all.
I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed,
I had a roof over my head,
I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"

"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no....

I was paroled."


LOL, Ours is bad but some in Europe are resorts.
 
My job search


This is quite clever. I wonder who thinks of all this stuff.


1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned . Couldn't concentrate .


2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe .


3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job.


4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.


5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.


6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... I couldn't cut the mustard.


7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.


8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.



9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.


10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.



11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.



12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.


13. After many years of trying to find steady work , I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.


15 . SO, I TRIED

RETIREMENT

AND I FOUND I'M

PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
 

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