Old Age Question About Rural Living Alone

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SheepDog said:
My brother (the one living on the mountain) has a plan to keep going until he can't anymore and then he will take the last hike. Walking away from the cabin until he finds a place to rest... forever.
Like some American Indians did in times past. Walk to the right place, build a platform and get onto it and face the end with your eyes on the stars while anchored to the Earth.
He is just bull headed enough to do it too.
My son and I have talked about a time when I may need help and he feels good about taking care of me... but if I need my diaper changed it's off to the old folks home for me.
I mentioned that I changed his diapers for a few years but he won't reconsider. TO HECK WITH IT! I am going to live to be two thousand (2000) years old just so I can change his diapers again and give him a bad time about it.
They told me I couldn't take it with me and even though I'm not sure what IT is, if I can't take it with me - I ain't going!
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Indians and I think Elephants do the same thing. Only I think they go to the same place. Not sure.
 
Oh Meerkat... They can't go to the same place! the elephants are in Africa and the American Indians are in America. Neither one can swim well enough to cross an ocean. ;)
I love it when you lead me into thoughts that don't belong. :huggs:
 
Dad just passed. He worked a full day the day before his stroke and was dead just over 3 days later. That is the way to go.

Mom is 91 and doesn't drive anymore. She wants to live in her home for the rest of her days. She is doing well enough as my brother will be there for her and her friends will shop for her and provide companionship. My other brother and I will be there for a couple of weeks every three months to take care of what needs to be done and our wives will visit in between.

My grandmother was drug out of her home begging and pleading and clawing at the doorframe and placed in an old folks home. I'll not do that to my mother.
 
Caribou said:
Dad just passed. He worked a full day the day before his stroke and was dead just over 3 days later. That is the way to go.

Mom is 91 and doesn't drive anymore. She wants to live in her home for the rest of her days. She is doing well enough as my brother will be there for her and her friends will shop for her and provide companionship. My other brother and I will be there for a couple of weeks every three months to take care of what needs to be done and our wives will visit in between.

My grandmother was drug out of her home begging and pleading and clawing at the doorframe and placed in an old folks home. I'll not do that to my mother.
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My mother died in our front room aka den. I took her last pulse and called fire dept and undertaker. We helped him put mama in a body bag not a good thing to do. He should have not put that on us. Live and learn.
Mama also told the Hospice not to come back on first visit that her daughter would take care of her.She did it nicely though. My kids and of course hubby helped us a lot too.
Some people are not able to do this and I understand that too. But many are who don't.
 
A couple year or so ago we put in a ramp for the dogie door on the porch. We used old wood so it is starting to crack.

Seems like we keep setting up the place for old people and since no denying we are in that group I think it would be wise to make the dog ramp a wheelchair ramp.
We will just have to make it wider and a little longer.
Looks like I'm going to be here longer than I thought.
 
I've lived my life with far less dignity than I should have. I can only hope the Good Lord grants me dignity when I go but we don't necessarily get that. I've only got one child and she is too young to be concerned with such matters right now. I'll leave her what I can and hopefully she can return me to the ground where I grew up, which my grandfather and father sweated and bled for. But whatever happens between now and then, whether I'm 90 in my bed with grandkids around me or I'm alone in a nursing home, God's will be done. I'd rather live today than worry much about it.
 
Spikedriver said:
I've lived my life with far less dignity than I should have. I can only hope the Good Lord grants me dignity when I go but we don't necessarily get that. I've only got one child and she is too young to be concerned with such matters right now. I'll leave her what I can and hopefully she can return me to the ground where I grew up, which my grandfather and father sweated and bled for. But whatever happens between now and then, whether I'm 90 in my bed with grandkids around me or I'm alone in a nursing home, God's will be done. I'd rather live today than worry much about it.
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Spike we all make mistakes but I didn't have time to lose to much dignity taking care of kids and helping mama with sisters and brothers and had my share of pain. I was 16 when mama husband left after 2 kids in one year, yea thats right 2 change of life babies, Jan.1966 and December 1966.
I don't want to be abused or abuse anyone else. We don't have money for a good place it will be the bottom of the system if we go to one of those places.
I don't want or think I deserve anymore of the crap.
So I like to plan a little.
 
A couple of years ago I was looking for a job and at the same time had two offers...one for where I work now, and the other was for giving home health care. I was told that some of the people couldn't afford to pay for it themselves but I cannot remember how it was paid for. It was a big surprise to me, but this is a good thing for people to be able to stay at home as long as they can.
 
I went to see my Aunt and Uncle today. He's 88 she's 83. His health has been poor for several years and she is not much better. They told me they are not going to be able to keep going like they are now.
My Uncle has made the decision to move into a nursing home before the strain of caring for him kills his wife.
The had 3 kids and all of them have died.
It's sad but it's not an unusual situation. Unfortunately there is nothing that I can do to help.
Makes me wonder how I will cope if I live that long.
Walk into the mountains and sit under a tree till I die maybe.
 
Patchouli said:
A couple of years ago I was looking for a job and at the same time had two offers...one for where I work now, and the other was for giving home health care. I was told that some of the people couldn't afford to pay for it themselves but I cannot remember how it was paid for. It was a big surprise to me, but this is a good thing for people to be able to stay at home as long as they can.
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Patch it is something for us less well off to think about . Living out here in the boonies is almost like being stranded on an island at times.
But at same time don't care to live in city so not sure.
 
@backlash and @Meerkat
Try looking around in your area for services that help the elderly to be able to stay at home. I will contact the home health care place and find out where you might find information in your states. Something @Angie posted recently made me think of this too. You don't realize what services are available if you don't know where to look.
 
Patchouli said:
@backlash and @Meerkat
Try looking around in your area for services that help the elderly to be able to stay at home. I will contact the home health care place and find out where you might find information in your states. Something @Angie posted recently made me think of this too. You don't realize what services are available if you don't know where to look.
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God idea Patch ,thanks. I think one of our neighbors has somebody come out now and then.
 
I know a friend of my aunt's had Visiting Angels help her out for a bit. Minimum 4 hours at a stretch and I think about $20 or $25 an hour. She had a son that paid it. She is now in a nice assisted living or nursing home her son covers and from what I hear is enjoying having card playing friends close by.
 
backlash said:
I went to see my Aunt and Uncle today. He's 88 she's 83. His health has been poor for several years and she is not much better. They told me they are not going to be able to keep going like they are now.
My Uncle has made the decision to move into a nursing home before the strain of caring for him kills his wife.
The had 3 kids and all of them have died.
It's sad but it's not an unusual situation. Unfortunately there is nothing that I can do to help.
Makes me wonder how I will cope if I live that long.
Walk into the mountains and sit under a tree till I die maybe.
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My goodness ! To lose all your kids before you go has to be hell. Poor people.
 
Meerkat said:
My goodness ! To lose all your kids before you go has to be hell. Poor people.
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My Uncle is a very religious man but losing all 3 children and 1 Grandson has shaken his faith. He gets too emotional to even say grace and that was something he did every meal. Their 2 daughters died on the operating table several years apart. They had Marfan and bled out trying to stop internal bleeding. A week after the oldest one died her teenage son also died of the same thing. Their son had a genetic problem and died. They were all in their 40s.
 
backlash said:
My Uncle is a very religious man but losing all 3 children and 1 Grandson has shaken his faith. He gets too emotional to even say grace and that was something he did every meal. Their 2 daughters died on the operating table several years apart. They had Marfan and bled out trying to stop internal bleeding. A week after the oldest one died her teenage son also died of the same thing. Their son had a genetic problem and died. They were all in their 40s.
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That is sad. Some people are born to lose it seems,life can be so unfair. I can understand why some lose faith. Seems it is sometimes those who need it the most too.
 
Meerkat said:
My mother died in our front room aka den. I took her last pulse and called fire dept and undertaker. We helped him put mama in a body bag not a good thing to do. He should have not put that on us. Live and learn.
Mama also told the Hospice not to come back on first visit that her daughter would take care of her.She did it nicely though. My kids and of course hubby helped us a lot too.
Some people are not able to do this and I understand that too. But many are who don't.
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When my wife and I retired last year, we sold our place in Alabama and moved in with her parents (in their 80's) down here.
We will be 'live-in' caregivers for them thru the end.
waveguy.gif
"We're HERE!!!"
I tell all of our friends that we are abject failures late in life that moved back in with parents, 'unemployed and homeless' (which technically, we are):D.
The wife and I each have our own bedrooms and I am perfectly content in my 12 x 12 "cell":).
The household has 4 SS-checks and 4 retirement-pensions coming in each month and we split expenses.
"Pedicures for everybody, my treat!!!":green man:
Every day I'm here, I feel young.
When the folks are gone, we will probably move in with our daughter (my stepdaughter) in Florida, but that's a long way down the road.
 
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Supervisor42 said:
When my wife and I retired last year, we sold our place in Alabama and moved in with her parents (in their 80's) down here.
We will be 'live-in' caregivers for them thru the end.View attachment 22763 "We're HERE!!!"
I tell all of our friends that we are abject failures late in life that moved back in with parents, 'unemployed and homeless' (which technically, we are):D.
The wife and I each have our own bedrooms and I am perfectly content in my 12 x 12 "cell":).
The household has 4 SS-checks and 4 retirement-pensions coming in each month and we split expenses.
"Pedicures for everybody, my treat!!!":green man:
Every day I'm here, I feel young.
When the folks are gone, we will probably move in with our daughter (my stepdaughter) in Florida, but that's a long way down the road.
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SuperV that sounds like a real good set up y'all have going on. :cool:
 
Meerkat said:
SuperV that sounds like a real good set up y'all have going on. :cool:
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Oh it is.
Nobody should be alone in their later years.
...I forgot to mention, no house note:D.
When the 4 of us combine forces, nothing is a 'problem':).
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(It's easy to tell which one is my mother-in-law:LOL:)
 
lonewolf said:
i'm not going into any old folks home, i'd rather walk out alone on the moors, someone can collect the carcass later.
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Not me!
People will suffer for years putting up with my cranky a$$ before I draw my last breath:mad:...
(hopefully:D)
 
I'm planning my old age now and rather looking forward to it I will carry a baggy of small pebbles to flick at rude people, have an indescriminate poker on my cane, have a really knarly set of false choppers (for special occasions ) heehee. I'm ornery like that.
 
LadyLocust said:
I'm planning my old age now and rather looking forward to it I will carry a baggy of small pebbles to flick at rude people, have an indescriminate poker on my cane, have a really knarly set of false choppers (for special occasions ) heehee. I'm ornery like that.
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I told my oldest daughter I would call her up every morning at 3 AM to ask why she doesn't visit me then hang up. She said if I did that, then she would just change her number. I told her the old folks home would have her new number "in case of an emergency" so I would have a crony distract the nurse while I get the new number and start calling again! :D Now I wonder if that's why she moved out of the country? :(
 
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