As newly weds with two incomes and no children, the wife said that she wasn't going to waste "her" money on bills, that was my responsibility and that was final. I thought credit cards could be a financial problem and I was against having any, she didn't disagree.
Five years later we discussed having children. I instigated a discussion on starting a budget. Envelopes labeled for different things. From my paycheck I would money in each of the envelopes every payday. Wife would take the "Grocery" envelope when she went grocery shopping, "Doctor" envelope for medical and etc. At the end of the first year all remaining money I placed into savings, wife objected. She said she had cut back on some of the budget items in order to save towards larger items. OK, I excepted that so the following year any "left over" funds would remain in the corresponding envelope(s). My truck was low on gas so I took the "Gas" envelope. After work I pulled into the gas station, I looked inside the "gas" envelope to see how much gas I could buy. The envelope was full of "IOUs" !? When I got home I checked the other envelopes, very little money but a lot of "IOUs"!!!!! Wife had been overspending from one envelope and borrowing from the others until there was very little money left. In her defense the wife said she had never agreed to the budget (men note: silence is not an agreement) and I wasn't putting enough money in the budget (compared to the zero amount of "her" money that she put into "Our" budget. "We" changed to a one envelope budget. I put X amount into the one envelope every payday, which 100% to be used at her discretion. I continued to pay all of "our" bills and my own gas, truck repairs and medical.
Fast forward a bit. We now have children and living off of one income (mine). We had a dry, warm house to live in and three meals a day. Wife complaining about how long its taking me to remodeling our 100 year old house. New roof, new electrical wiring, new plumping, new widows, new kitchen, new bath rooms, attached garage, siding, bunch of little things and she is disappointed on the 20 years it took for me to save up and do the work myself (couldn't afford to hire it out). After a Sunday evening service wife tells me that we are meeting some of the other families at DQ. I ask if she has any money because I'm low. No she doesn't. I say we'll have to cancel and go some other time. I'm told that is not an option because the other families had all ready left and will be waiting for us. I tell the wife how much I have and she says that's enough. At DQ she orders a large Sunday, that leaves enough for 1 small bag of French Fries for the children to split between them. #1 son looks around at the the other children gorging themselves on hamburgers, fries and ice creme and whines to me that he wants more to eat. I take him outside and with a few finger pokes in his chest I explain that is all the money I have and did he notice that his dad didn't have anything to eat?
I change careers. Less hours, better benefits (including a pension) and a lot better pay. Sold the old house and had the wife's dream house built. Children worked their way though college, married and we are empty nesters. Putting 20% into the company's 401K (they match up to 3%) to make up from my previous career. Company puts $x,000 into each employee's Health Savings account, I don't tell the wife so that money can accumulate and be available for our retirement years. Every car that I have purchased for her she has totaled or caused expensive damage. The last car she ignored my warning that because of the snow storm it would be best if she stayed home. Instead she wrapped it around a electrical pole and totaled it. I told the wife if she wanted another car she would have to buy her own AND take care of maintenance too (that went over like a lead balloon). Took her car shopping and she bought one. After two crumbled fenders, bent rear bumper along with the trunk lid and a dent in the front you can't see (I've never did figure that one out), bless her heart, her pocket was hit hard enough that she hasn't hit anything or had an accident for three years (a new record!).
Retirement is coming up. I paid the house mortgage off six years early, I'm now debt free. I'm driving a 13 year old truck (in very good condition) that has only 100,000 miles, it will last me another 15 years easy (by then I'll be old enough for the kids to take my driver's license away from me). At supper I ask the wife what she is planing on using for income when I retire? Her answer was that she thought I would take care of that. That is also when I learn that she has three credit cards which are close to being max out. Her "Business" required that she purchase $$$ amount every month to main her "franchise" which is more then she sells a month. Evidently from my facial expression she realizes I'm not happy, "Guess I'll have to work forever and not ever be able to retire", she pouts. "That is your choice", was my reply. Last year wife had some major medical problems and that is when she learn about my Health Savings account, she was relieved that she didn't have to pay the co-pay, that I would take it out of the HSA. Then she came up with the idea she could save "her" money by using the HSA for her contacts, over the counter meds, prescriptions and...I said no. That money is for when we are on Medicare and retired.
Wife is planning on paying off all of her credit cards debt by the end of 2018. Update, now it's by the end of 2019. No I'm not holding my breath.
Cousin of one of the wife's friends is working towards a college scholarship by selling kitchen knives (sounds fishy to me). Friend tells the wife not to be pressured to buy, cousin gets some credit for making the sales speech. Wife ends up charging $200 to her CC for knives that she doesn't need. Wife said they will be future gifts. When I ask how did that CC charge help her with her goal of paying them off by the end of the year, I get the deer in the headlights look.
Now that my blood pressure is up several points for writing this...think I'll click "Post Reply" and go work on a SHTF story for the Library.