Understanding Narcissism and Narcissists

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Neb said:
Those types of psychology questions are not written based on narc (or other condition) behavior.

The test is written and then a bunch of guinea pigs take the tests. Included the collection of subjects taking the test are diagnosed people. Then statistics are used to figure out how different conditions answered the questions. So no trick questions only arbitrary.

There used to be the MMPI ( Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Index ) that was first pass at diagnosing a patient. It was comprised of a bunch of meaninglessness questions.

Example
I am afraid of spiders
I like spiders
I dont like spiders
I think spiders are cool....

Those questions were not there to ID aracnaphobianaphobia. They were arbitrary. An individuals answers where compared with diagnosed patients results to characterize the patient being tested. The results are not 100%. They are just a first guess.

When I was young and depressed (before God found me) I took the the MMPI. I came back as ...

A paranoid schizophrenic with psychotic tendencies.

"I got better"

;)

When I told The Princess she asked "Am i safe alone with you?"

Please resume your talk about narcs.

Ben
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Just when I was getting the attention narcs crave [not me of course] they left me.I know what is it they can't handle the truth.:)
 
Amish Heart said:
I think the thread is more about "dealing with the narc in your life", but whatever
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See what i mean,its about narc's and they are all over the place according to yall,so lets have another test. And don't make me mad,you wouldn't like me if I was mad,oh thats right ..................................
 
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Neb said:
Those types of psychology questions are not written based on narc (or other condition) behavior.

The test is written and then a bunch of guinea pigs take the tests. Included the collection of subjects taking the test are diagnosed people. Then statistics are used to figure out how different conditions answered the questions. So no trick questions only arbitrary.

There used to be the MMPI ( Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Index ) that was first pass at diagnosing a patient. It was comprised of a bunch of meaninglessness questions.

Example
I am afraid of spiders
I like spiders
I dont like spiders
I think spiders are cool....

Those questions were not there to ID aracnaphobianaphobia. They were arbitrary. An individuals answers where compared with diagnosed patients results to characterize the patient being tested. The results are not 100%. They are just a first guess.

When I was young and depressed (before God found me) I took the the MMPI. I came back as ...

A paranoid schizophrenic with psychotic tendencies.

"I got better"

;)

When I told The Princess she asked "Am i safe alone with you?"

Please resume your talk about narcs.

Ben
Click to expand...
If my results say no narcissism and someone else's say "narcissist" there might be some clues in that information about someone in fact being a narcissist or not. It is actually a small amount of questions, in comparison to something like the MMPI (which I have taken as well), but that does not make it totally inaccurate. There are 40 questions., not 10, not 5, but a sampling of things about the ways a narcissist thinks, or how someone who is not one thinks. Maybe 100 questions, or 300, or like the 567 on the MMPI, would be more indicative. Someone who is more of an empath is not likely to score as a narcissist. A narcissist is not likely to score as not, because they do have strong beliefs about how great they think they are and what they are better at than the rest of the world.
 
Weedygarden said:
If my results say no narcissism and someone else's say "narcissist" there might be some clues in that information about someone in fact being a narcissist or not. It is actually a small amount of questions, in comparison to something like the MMPI (which I have taken as well), but that does not make it totally inaccurate. There are 40 questions., not 10, not 5, but a sampling of things about the ways a narcissist thinks, or how someone who is not one thinks. Maybe 100 questions, or 300, or like the 567 on the MMPI, would be more indicative. Someone who is more of an empath is not likely to score as a narcissist. A narcissist is not likely to score as not, because they do have strong beliefs about how great they think they are and what they are better at than the rest of the world.
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That set of questions may be a subset of the MMPI. I am not saying that quiz is bogus. I am saying that one can not look at those questions and ask "what would a a narc say?" to cheat the test. It is not the individual questions but rather the similarity to what narcs would reply.

Ben
 
Neb said:
That set of questions may be a subset of the MMPI. I am not saying that quiz is bogus. I am saying that one can not look at those questions and ask "what would a a narc say?" to cheat the test. It is not the individual questions but rather the similarity to what narcs would reply.

Ben
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True, like other such tests. The thing about the MMPI is that with that many questions, you'd need a very good memory to remember the truth or not of questions you had previously answered. I remember that some of those questions were so similar to previous ones that they asked. If you wanted to be normal, you would say, "No, I want to blend in. I do not want to be the center of attention." But we all know people who do want to be the center of attention and some will go to lengths to make that attention negative or just to move it to themselves, whatever it takes. Until it bites them in the backside.
 
Yall sure are getting alot of attention on this one,could it be?No,say it ain't so.Some poor narc is under attack .Yall should call yourselves Narc Busters or Narc Inc. I';; join if it gets rid of them darn narc's. This is fun.:woo hoo:
 
Amish Heart said:
I did take it honestly and didn't cheat. I scored 0-11 points. Not a narc. And no, I didn't say I could rule the world.
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I just took it also, as fast as I could read and respond without thought, just first impressions, 0-11... After reading these posts the last couple of months I already knew I wasn't one but the test was interesting.

Still doesn't get me any closer to dealing with one...
 
Peanut said:
Still doesn't get me any closer to dealing with one...
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I do not have all the answers, if I have any. I do think identifying and understanding that someone is a narcissist is a step. It took me 50 years to understand that that was a dynamic in my family. I belong to some groups that deal with narcissism, mothers, siblings, spouses.
How to deal with someone depends on the nature of the relationship with the narcissist. If it is a close relative, it makes it more challenging. If it is someone you have to deal with frequently, and you are getting no where, one of the main suggestions is to go no contact with this person. That is not always easy. It can be a father, mother, sibling, grandparent, other relative, boss, a co-worker, a neighbor, or someone else whom you see frequently. How does one go no contact with these people?
And then there is the piece that is biblical, to be at peace with all people. Ugh!
 
The test is seriously unsubtle. It was easy for a great human being such as myself to score the "0-11" result

Pausing for a wee moment to be serious, I know I am not a narcissist. When I look back on my life from my dotage, it is pathetically easy to see a multitude of things I did wrong, or at least could have done way better.

On the other hand, if I had done at least most of those things the way I should have, I would be a 'really great guy'.

Um . . . wait. What?
 
Dealing with those who are always right I use the " it is better to understand than be understood "philosphy. When that doesn't work I just take on their roll and lay it on them,if that doesn't work I use humor.
 
Meerkat said:
Dealing with those who are always right I use the " it is better to understand than be understood "philosphy. When that doesn't work I just take on their roll and lay it on them,if that doesn't work I use humor.
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"Dealing with those who are always right" - I make one attempt to enlighten them, then go directly to humor-as-I-know-it. After that there is only termination of one sort or another.

[That last sentence above is hillman humor - as I know it.]
 
VThillman said:
"Dealing with those who are always right" - I make one attempt to enlighten them, then go directly to humor-as-I-know-it. After that there is only termination of one sort or another.

[That last sentence above is hillman humor - as I know it.]
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I can't stay mad at people I have to see or visit everyday. But I also like to keep my opnions.its hard to be serious now a days ,it can be bad for your health,:)
 
havasu said:
I took the MMPI test in 1984, and it was very antiquated at that time. Questions such as "Do you fear being in contact with other's blood products?" or "do you have black tarry bowel movements?", or "Do you love your mother?".... never made sense to me.
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LOL. Those may have been "control" questions.
 
Ha. Those are strange control questions! One thing for certain about narcs is that they don't have much empathy for anyone. They typically only care that they come out on top. They believe that they are the smartest, always right, know better, are the best looking, and that they can manipulate anyone that they want to get their way. But they typically do not know what to do with people who fight back or don't care and walk away.
 
well at least it got people thinking,hope not too much though. After reading all this I see narc everywhere! :ghostly:
 
phideaux said:
My youngest daughter married a sociopathic narcissist.

One thing I know 100% is they have NO conscience.

NONE.

Jim
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If you could read some of the things I have read in the groups I belong to, you realize that God and life has been very good to some of us. Some people got the short straw in life and somehow end up with the worst people as parents, spouses, bosses, co-workers, neighbors. You couldn't make some of it up if you were the most creative person on earth. It boggles the mind how sick some people can be.
Today, I read something a woman wrote, whose mother is a narcissist. She said she has never felt safe anywhere, with anyone, except with her sisters in the group, whom she had never met before. She can tell her experiences, ask for help and get support there. These groups are huge. One group has more than 80,000 members, with people coping and trying to figure out how to live life, how to get away from the verbal and emotional abuse, and how to move on in life.
 
phideaux said:
My youngest daughter married a sociopathic narcissist.

One thing I know 100% is they have NO conscience.

NONE.

Jim
Click to expand...

I think there are different levels of it.Now and then they do have feelings,just they come first most of the time. Or like you say some lack a soul.
 
Meerkat said:
I think there are different levels of it.Now and then they do have feelings,just they come first most of the time. Or like you say some lack a soul.
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You and Jim may have provided a CLUE. These people may have physical brain defects. Open synapses that can't close, stuff like that, could be common in most folks. if they are the wrong synapses, empathy doesn't happen.
 
This guy would burn his mother, and bury her in backyard , piss on the kids,. Shoot his dad or me in the head, without thinking twice.
Then go on like nothing ever happened .

He's a sicko with no conscience. And every word out of his mouth is a lie.

Certifiable sociopath.

I HAVE TO stay away from him or go to prison.

Jim
 
It's hard when you feel like you still have to have a relationship with a family member narc. But absolutely, stay away from them entirely if you can. And don't become their "toady", or flying monkey. My half sisters and I have become closer the last few years just because of our mom. We compare notes alot of the time just because she lies about us so often. Bottom line is that we never believe what she says about each of us. Her goal is to get us fighting, and for her to come out smelling like a peach, and that's not going to happen. That being said, there are certain people that I'm around in our community that I try to keep mom away from. There are two men in particular that are cousins that she's fabricated lies about. No matter how much I tell her what she says is not true, she doesn't listen. So since she's old now and relies on me for a ride places, I'm just extra careful. She was saying the other day that she misses not having the family picnics after church. She thinks people don't do that here anymore. Well, they do, but I won't bring her anymore. She causes a ruckus.
 
Amish Heart said:
It's hard when you feel like you still have to have a relationship with a family member narc. But absolutely, stay away from them entirely if you can. And don't become their "toady", or flying monkey. My half sisters and I have become closer the last few years just because of our mom. We compare notes alot of the time just because she lies about us so often. Bottom line is that we never believe what she says about each of us. Her goal is to get us fighting, and for her to come out smelling like a peach, and that's not going to happen. That being said, there are certain people that I'm around in our community that I try to keep mom away from. There are two men in particular that are cousins that she's fabricated lies about. No matter how much I tell her what she says is not true, she doesn't listen. So since she's old now and relies on me for a ride places, I'm just extra careful. She was saying the other day that she misses not having the family picnics after church. She thinks people don't do that here anymore. Well, they do, but I won't bring her anymore. She causes a ruckus.
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Some people thrive on drama! They are in the midst of it all the time. There is no accident about the same person or people always being in trouble.
 
phideaux said:
This guy would burn his mother, and bury her in backyard , piss on the kids,. Shoot his dad or me in the head, without thinking twice.
Then go on like nothing ever happened .

He's a sicko with no conscience. And every word out of his mouth is a lie.

Certifiable sociopath.

I HAVE TO stay away from him or go to prison.

Jim
Click to expand...

Sounds like you really don't like him.
 
havasu said:
I took the MMPI test in 1984, and it was very antiquated at that time. Questions such as "Do you fear being in contact with other's blood products?" or "do you have black tarry bowel movements?", or "Do you love your mother?".... never made sense to me.
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I recognize those questions. I was on our towns Fire and Police Commission for many years. There were some crazy questions on the MMPI. “If you were very thirsty and nothing else was available, would you drink a cup of blood?” 😱
 
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