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I'm finally home, extremely frail, grossly under weight and exhuasted.

I've been sleeping, trying to keep meds down and what little food I can eat.

I can barely walk up 4 stairs.

Chemo was the worst decision I have ever made.
Without a doubt in my mind at all.
I don't regognize myself.
I don't have energy for anything, no strength, my right hip joint/ leg can only just weight bear and if I crouch down it's my left leg that has to struggle to get me up right.

I'm feeling a little human this morning and it's the first time I've been on line since I got home to come on here to give you all a long overdue update.

I've got an oncologist appointment tomorrow and I'll be refusing any more and I won't be talked into continuing.
The same doctor is also a palliative care doctor so she will be useful in that capacity in making sure my pain is kept under control so I can function to some sort of degree.
 
Tank-Girl said:
I'm finally home, extremely frail, grossly under weight and exhuasted.

I've been sleeping, trying to keep meds down and what little food I can eat.

I can barely walk up 4 stairs.

Chemo was the worst decision I have ever made.
Without a doubt in my mind at all.
I don't regognize myself.
I don't have energy for anything, no strength, my right hip joint/ leg can only just weight bear and if I crouch down it's my left leg that has to struggle to get me up right.

I'm feeling a little human this morning and it's the first time I've been on line since I got home to come on here to give you all a long overdue update.

I've got an oncologist appointment tomorrow and I'll be refusing any more and I won't be talked into continuing.
The same doctor is also a palliative care doctor so she will be useful in that capacity in making sure my pain is kept under control so I can function to some sort of degree.
Click to expand...
I was about to PM Havasu!! HOME, I am SO glad!! Hope you can get some rest and gain strength!! Stay true to yourself and do what you know is right!! I am praying being home will give you the strength and fight you need to get back to yourself !! Thank you for the update!
 
The Oncologist/ palliative care / Cancer care clinic was a success.
The lady doctor was lovely, warm and supportive of my decision to stop chemo and have the picc line removed.
She is also working in with my equally lovely female GP to untie her hands legally to be able to prescribe the amount and types of pain killers I need.
The picc line removal was a bit hairy as I had to control my breathing...breathing out and holding while the picc was gradually pulled out or I'd have an embolism. Bloody Hell!! That threw me for sure! You bet when the specially trained senior nurse said " breath out and hold" I did EXACTLY that!

I've been craving McDonald's strawberry thick shakes and you wouldn't believe the mission it was to actually get one!
There are 3, Yes! 3 McDonald's in this small town and only 1 has a working thick shake machine!
I got one in the end and now I know which store to go to. Plus I got 6 of the crunchiest, freshest chicken nuggets I've ever gotten from a McDonald's store ever! Possibly helped that it was just after school finished for the day and the drive thru was swamped. Busy drive thru obviously means fresher food.
I even tired salmon sushi and that went down a treat!
Today for lunch I'm going to go to the local seafood market and buy a mud crab sandwich and a dozen freshly shucked oysters and take them down to the water front and have a seafood picnic in the sun watching the ocean.

That prob. sounds like a lot of junk food but I'm just grateful to be able to eat at all.
I'll get back on the healthy eating wagon once I've scratched this junk food itch.
 
Tank-Girl said:
The Oncologist/ palliative care / Cancer care clinic was a success.
The lady doctor was lovely, warm and supportive of my decision to stop chemo and have the picc line removed.
She is also working in with my equally lovely female GP to untie her hands legally to be able to prescribe the amount and types of pain killers I need.
The picc line removal was a bit hairy as I had to control my breathing...breathing out and holding while the picc was gradually pulled out or I'd have an embolism. Bloody Hell!! That threw me for sure! You bet when the specially trained senior nurse said " breath out and hold" I did EXACTLY that!

I've been craving McDonald's strawberry thick shakes and you wouldn't believe the mission it was to actually get one!
There are 3, Yes! 3 McDonald's in this small town and only 1 has a working thick shake machine!
I got one in the end and now I know which store to go to. Plus I got 6 of the crunchiest, freshest chicken nuggets I've ever gotten from a McDonald's store ever! Possibly helped that it was just after school finished for the day and the drive thru was swamped. Busy drive thru obviously means fresher food.
I even tired salmon sushi and that went down a treat!
Today for lunch I'm going to go to the local seafood market and buy a mud crab sandwich and a dozen freshly shucked oysters and take them down to the water front and have a seafood picnic in the sun watching the ocean.

That prob. sounds like a lot of junk food but I'm just grateful to be able to eat at all.
I'll get back on the healthy eating wagon once I've scratched this junk food itch.
Click to expand...
I honestly LOVE seeing your report!!
 
The oysters were NOT a success.
They went down a treat with a small squeeze of fresh lemon and I found the best park bench in the shade with a magnificent view right on the water.
The sea breeze coming straight off the ocean was so cool and refreshing on such a hot day.
Unfortunately I had no sooner gotten home after my beautiful picnic than I was sick.
I lost the lot.
I was terrified I had food poisoning even though the oysters were supposted to be freshly shucked.
I'd have to call the paramedics and get to the emergency dept quick smart if I started to get the runs esp. in my weakened state.
Luckly I dodged a bullet and it seems they just upset my stomach. Maybe they were just too rich.

I was unable to have a mud crab sandwich because the crabbers hadn't brought any in yet.
Just as well considering.
I would have cried at the thought of losing all that beautiful sweet, not to mention expensive crab.

Oh, well.....I tried it. It didn't work.
I can't eat chocolate anything at the moment because that makes me sick as well.
Not chocolate custard or chocolate muffin bars which quite frankly I could eat hand over fist
they're so delicious but now are just not worth the suffering they cause.

Today I'm trying a pork burrito bowl for lunch from a Mexican chain that is popular here in Australia.
It comes in plain, mild and spicy with beans and rice, freshly made corn chips, Mexican cheese and freshly made guac.
I'll be getting the plain after yesterday's incident.
 
Tank-Girl said:
The oysters were NOT a success.
They went down a treat with a small squeeze of fresh lemon and I found the best park bench in the shade with a magnificent view right on the water.
The sea breeze coming straight off the ocean was so cool and refreshing on such a hot day.
Unfortunately I had no sooner gotten home after my beautiful picnic than I was sick.
I lost the lot.
I was terrified I had food poisoning even though the oysters were supposted to be freshly shucked.
I'd have to call the paramedics and get to the emergency dept quick smart if I started to get the runs esp. in my weakened state.
Luckly I dodged a bullet and it seems they just upset my stomach. Maybe they were just too rich.

I was unable to have a mud crab sandwich because the crabbers hadn't brought any in yet.
Just as well considering.
I would have cried at the thought of losing all that beautiful sweet, not to mention expensive crab.

Oh, well.....I tried it. It didn't work.
I can't eat chocolate anything at the moment because that makes me sick as well.
Not chocolate custard or chocolate muffin bars which quite frankly I could eat hand over fist
they're so delicious but now are just not worth the suffering they cause.

Today I'm trying a pork burrito bowl for lunch from a Mexican chain that is popular here in Australia.
It comes in plain, mild and spicy with beans and rice, freshly made corn chips, Mexican cheese and freshly made guac.
I'll be getting the plain after yesterday's incident.
Click to expand...
Caffeine is very difficult on the digestive system (chocolate as well as coffee). I know this well also so do feel for you.
Enjoy food with flavor. You've been too long without it ☺️
 
LadyLocust said:
Caffeine is very difficult on the digestive system (chocolate as well as coffee). I know this well also so do feel for you.
Enjoy food with flavor. You've been too long without it ☺️
Click to expand...
I'm glad as well.
Common sense would dictate that I stay away from chocolate thick shakes and stick to strawberry.
That's no hardship. Believe me.
 
I forgot to mention Yesterday on my way home I stopped in at a hairdressers and got my hair buzz-cut down to a number 2.
I was in tears every morning as I saw how much hair kept falling out onto the pillow and then I'd try to brush it only to have the brush fill with handfuls of hair after a few strokes.
I brought several pretty scarves and I'm wearing them to hide my ugly, patchy, near bald head.
At least while wearing the scarf in public I look like a chemo patient and I don't look like a chronic long term crackhead.....trust me there are plently in this town.

I admit I cried when it was being done but I spread the word about the importance of getting pap smears and I got some traction using my story and my physical appearance as very real example of WHY they're important.
Yeah, I prob scared the crap out of them but some people need a bloody good scare to shake them out complacency and get them to act.
Saving as many lives as possible is all that matters now.
 
Tank-Girl said:
I forgot to mention Yesterday on my way home I stopped in at a hairdressers and got my hair buzz-cut down to a number 2.
I was in tears every morning as I saw how much hair kept falling out onto the pillow and then I'd try to brush it only to have the brush fill with handfuls of hair after a few strokes.
I brought several pretty scarves and I'm wearing them to hide my ugly, patchy, near bald head.
At least while wearing the scarf in public I look like a chemo patient and I don't look like a chronic long term crackhead.....trust me there are plently in this town.

I admit I cried when it was being done but I spread the word about the importance of getting pap smears and I got some traction using my story and my physical appearance as very real example of WHY they're important.
Yeah, I prob scared the crap out of them but some people need a bloody good scare to shake them out complacency and get them to act.
Saving as many lives as possible is all that matters now.
Click to expand...
You are beautiful no matter what you look like 😍
 
I went to the GP's to get some scripts and while I was there there was a lass with a runny nose who insisted on sitting right next to me.
Today I have a runny nose, I'm feeling very weak and shakey and I can't taste or smell a darn thing.
NOT A DARN THING!!!
I've got a sinking feeling I've finally caught the V and it has to be when I haven't taken any ivermectin for over a month and a half and my immune system is shot from chemo.
The symptoms are pretty mild considering but I was planning on going to church on Sunday.
That isn't happening anymore.
I'm so annoyed.

I've done 2 loads of washing and had some lunch and I'm going back to bed and see if I can sleep this off.
My throat is still too raw to take any ivermectin or I'd be dosing myself to the eyeballs.
I can only think there might be some ivermectin reside action happening in my system due to my mild symptoms.
It's prob too early to say for sure.
 
Have you looked into Chlorine dioxide? It's just a thought and may help you with side effects. You may want to at least look into it. Chlorine Dioxide - DMSO Treatment For Cancer (Orally) - Webster Kehr This is a treatment used in third world countries on a regular basis.

A couple weeks ago, I walked out and saw one of my goats totally layed over, two days straight. I honestly thought I was going to lose him. He was already medicated with traditional methods and none were actually working. I really thought I was going to loose this guy. I made up a batch of CDS and mixed it in with distilled water to orally just syring it down his throat once a day. This has been on going for the last couple weeks. He is back with us. Alert. He was the first goat I have ever tried giving CDS and in just awe from the effect. I have taken it myself for a bladder infection and even some pretty bad abdominal pains pn the past.
 
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