Weedy, that sucks as a 'family dynamic'. It's being uppity, of course, and need not happen more than once. Lazy L, I think the hitch in your wife's giddyup is caused by a confusion of formulas for the occasion. Formula #1: Guests move in at her first move at the chore and start cleaning up - without asking. Wife says "You don't need to do that", makes no further protest unless she wants to start an argument. Formula #2: Guests make no move, but make an offer to help. Wife says"Thank you, the dishwasher is over there."