There were many problems like that in this family dynamic.
Weedy, that sucks as a 'family dynamic'. It's being uppity, of course, and need not happen more than once.
We have a get-to-gather at our house. Family/friends would offer to help clean up, wife will say, "No. I got it". Then later she complains to me that no one help her?!
:snowman:Lazy L, I think the hitch in your wife's giddyup is caused by a confusion of formulas for the occasion.
Formula #1: Guests move in at her first move at the chore and start cleaning up - without asking. Wife says "You don't need to do that", makes no further protest unless she wants to start an argument.
Formula #2: Guests make no move, but make an offer to help. Wife says"Thank you, the dishwasher is over there."