Jokes and Humor

[Quantum]

WOW!!!

 

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[Sparky_D]

 

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Habib the Isis Terrorist vs the U.S. Marine:

Habib was new to being a terrorist and his trainer Akbar handed him an ak-47 with a bayonet on the front.

Habib says "What I do with this thing Akbar?"

Akbar says "Habib, you are very stupid and will make a terrible terrorist. We will train you in how to use your weapon."

They go to the range and Akbar says "Point the weapon at that wall, pull the trigger and go Bangety, bangety, bang."

Habib does as Akbar tells him and shoots the ak-47 going "bangety, bangety, bang!"

Akbar says "well done Habib, Allah is proud of you. Now put the bayonet on the end of the barrel and go over to that post and stab the post and stabity, stabity, stab!"

Habib attacks the post yelling "Stabity, stabity, stab."

Akbar says "That was great Habib, you are now a soldier for Allah and you must go fight the American Infidels."

Habib wanders off and sees a bunch of Isis Terrorists gathering and he follows them.

Soon, the lead terrorist yells "Allah akbar, Marines, kill them all!"

Habib takes his ak-47 and starts shooting "Bangety, bangety, bang." and is aiming at the huge marine that's coming towards him but, the Marine doesn't fall. Habib puts his bayonet on his rifle and yells "Stabity, stabity, stab!" Then "Bangitybangitybang, stabbitystabbity, stab (full auto).

The Marine keeps coming closer, soon he's right in front of Habib and Habib is almost out of ammo.. Then the Marine walks right over Habib and breaks both of Habibs legs, crushes his ribcage, breaks his right arm and kicks the ak-47 away into the dirt..

Habib laid there mortally wounded and as he was preparing to meet his 72 versions he heard the Marine as he was walking away..

Saying "Tankety, tankety, tank.."

 

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I haven't tried yoga but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys so I'm pretty sure I'd hate yoga.

 

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[Meerkat]

WOW!!!

 

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